What do I need to know about marrying a man with an ex and shared custody of kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP ignore the above disgruntled ex. Many exes aren't like that, and yes you can have relatives stay at your home, still breath oxygen when step kids are with the other parent, lol. You even get to have guests at YOUR home too!

It's not that she can't. But it is gross of her to say "my family needs the room more so my stepkids don't need to come then and also my family would rather see my kids than his anyway." I'm not an ex wife. I'm a stepmom. I would NEVER say something like that. It's so mean spirited like her kids are her family and his kids are HIS.

My parents want to only visit with their grand-kids so we separate that. The step kids get to do the same with their side, it all works out. Nothing wrong with that, and yes my parents made that all clear. They want to spoil their grand-kids and have special time. We're all on the same page, actually that scenario is quite common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what the poster means by 50/50 meaning there is still one primary home. Our 50/50 is 50/50 - one week at mom's house, one week at dad's. Now it just so happens that mom's house is currently the former family home so the kids get most of their mail there, but they view both houses as their home.

And that crack about a weekend every other year (yikes!) is what gives the ex nightmares about anyone new coming along. At least my ex had a vasectomy so there won't be any more kids of his own blood with anyone else to worry about mine being shoved aside for.

You really haven't gotten over your ex, trying to control him and his household is beyond healthy.

Maybe some therapy to help you move forward.

I mean't unhealthy but really it's quite apparent in all your posts.

In that case, PP, why don't you tell your husband to stop calling me for lunch and coffee every few days since we work right down the block from each other and to give back the key to my house he uses so liberally? Perhaps you are the one who needs better control over him, not me. Or would you like complete control over my house, too?

You really can't take control of your own life can you? Yes it's everyone else.....

[Anonymous]

OP you both need to make sure you put each other first. The kids will have to accept whatever relationship you both decide, and both of you will be the parents under one roof so similar parenting styles help. If DH is gone I parent all equally, so make sure you both agree to that. We use to get a babysitter every week to every other week just so we could have our own time. If you are both smart it can be easily done. We we're a team so ours worked well, I think that is the secret.