Aftercare is cruel to kindergarteners

[Anonymous]

My mom was a SAHM and now she says she regrets not sending me to aftercare a couple of days a week since that was where most of.my friends were and it would have been good for me to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not sure i buy the argument (for most 2-parent families, at least) that people "have no choice" but to put their kids in aftercare or else their kids would be unfed, unclothed, etc. unless you are a really, really high earner, quality aftercare programs for 2 or more kids is going to eat up almost all of your salary. So you aren't really making a ton of profit anyway. Plus, your kids would prefer to be with you. Stay home if you can.

I'd like a single mom here who is arguing against aftercare to show that she had a job that contributes meaningfully to society and/or involves education more than high school. Do you really think the world would be better off without all the dedicated moms who also work full time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"True, but - AND GET THIS OP - some of us women also work because we want to, because we are smart, educated and accomplished and have no desire to stay at home all day watching The Chew and filing our nails until the kids get home from school. My son has an intelligent, independent woman as a mother and I am proud that I can be a great role model for him so that he will grow up to be a man who respects women for ALL that they can do, not just as some domestic caretaker for him and his children. So judge me all you want. . .I am judging you because you obviously have nothing better to do with your day than sit on your ass posting drivel like this. Why don't you go out and do something your kids can be proud of while they are at school?"

This is really a shame because you are suggesting that childcare and domestic work is somehow not as valid or significant as other work, and that is not the case.

Childcare and domestic work is not as valuable to the society beyond your personal family as curing people of cancer, yes. I am stating that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not sure i buy the argument (for most 2-parent families, at least) that people "have no choice" but to put their kids in aftercare or else their kids would be unfed, unclothed, etc. unless you are a really, really high earner, quality aftercare programs for 2 or more kids is going to eat up almost all of your salary. So you aren't really making a ton of profit anyway. Plus, your kids would prefer to be with you. Stay home if you can.

It's also to keep a toe (at least!) in the workforce. What are all you SAHMs going to do in a few short years after your kids are in school FT, or grown? What? What are you going to DO" with yourselves? You cannot expect your kids to fulfill your existence forever. You need to have more. Look ahead a few years, and plan. The early childhood years do not last forever and then what is left? A hole in your resume and a whole lot of time to fill with. . what? volunteer activities? Yakking at the pool? That is a pretty empty existence.

I know, I know! They're going to have MORE babies so they can extend their SAH tenure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not sure i buy the argument (for most 2-parent families, at least) that people "have no choice" but to put their kids in aftercare or else their kids would be unfed, unclothed, etc. unless you are a really, really high earner, quality aftercare programs for 2 or more kids is going to eat up almost all of your salary. So you aren't really making a ton of profit anyway. Plus, your kids would prefer to be with you. Stay home if you can.

It's also to keep a toe (at least!) in the workforce. What are all you SAHMs going to do in a few short years after your kids are in school FT, or grown? What? What are you going to DO" with yourselves? You cannot expect your kids to fulfill your existence forever. You need to have more. Look ahead a few years, and plan. The early childhood years do not last forever and then what is left? A hole in your resume and a whole lot of time to fill with. . what? volunteer activities? Yakking at the pool? That is a pretty empty existence.

I know, I know! They're going to have MORE babies so they can extend their SAH tenure.

Yes, a lot of them do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Love how we have so many replies so quickly from "working moms." So you are at work, fighting on DCUM? Wow. Really could choice to go to work so you can realize your full potential.

Limited imagination. Not all working moms work 9 to 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Love how we have so many replies so quickly from "working moms." So you are at work, fighting on DCUM? Wow. Really could choice to go to work so you can realize your full potential.

Limited imagination. Not all working moms work 9 to 5.

Exactly. Plus PP clearly doesn't understand the impact of the August recess in Congress. Washington empties out which leaves those of us not on vacation with pretty slow work days for 2-3 weeks. So I'm spacing out my tasks and taking breaks here and there to see what the airheads on here come up with next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was just talking to a SAHM of teens (she teaches rec center classes during school hours) and she told me that she actually feels it's more important for her to be a SAHM now than it was when her kids were my age (2 and 3). I really hope we can continue to afford me SAH as the kids get older. I have a PhD, so maybe I can find some part-time flexible consulting work for during school hours.

Why'd you get the Ph.D if you were going to SAH? What was the point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was just talking to a SAHM of teens (she teaches rec center classes during school hours) and she told me that she actually feels it's more important for her to be a SAHM now than it was when her kids were my age (2 and 3). I really hope we can continue to afford me SAH as the kids get older. I have a PhD, so maybe I can find some part-time flexible consulting work for during school hours.

Can I just ask why on earth you got a PhD if your intent was to be a SAHM for 20 years? Where I come from, you maybe get a BA if this is your life goal, but you certainly don't spend 10+ years and go into debt for a PhD you will never use.

I was fortunate enough to have an employer who financed my PhD (i worked professionally pre-kids).

I didn't get a PhD just to have work options. I did it also for personal achievement. And at that time, i certainly didn't know what my Future would hold in terms of WOHM/SAHM

Oh, now I'm jealous. A free graduate degree unimpeded by the need or desire to actually use it. Wow, that IS a luxury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been covered before. Some folks have to work full time and don't really have a choice. .

Sure they do. Downsize, downsize, downsize. You don't need to live in a 3,000 sq ft place, hire help for cleaning and yardwork, wear the best clothes, have an iPhone5, drive an SUV with only one or two kids, use coupons and shop the specials. Cook more, go out to eat once a month or less.

It can easily be done, even in this area. But people here are too set on keeping up their extravagant lifestyles.

Priorities.

Hey, we won't judge you for living poor ok?

Nope, not living poor. Living within our means, comfortably. I can't help it if this is a foreign concept to you. However, "worth" is relative. My children are worth more than outsourcing them to someone else for most of their waking hours.

You better not send them to school at all then.

HAHAHAHAHAH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I SAH during the pre-K years as I flet that was a very important time to be at home. I had 4 kids in 4.5 years (not twins) so I can assure you I was not sitting back watching soaps. We didn't even have a TV as there was no time to watch it (well we had a TV screen but no cable).

Once my youngest was in school I could have worked as my life at that point was not stressful however due to where we live and after school activities I still wanted to be at home for before and after school so in the end I stayed home. I spend one day a week cleaning the house, doing the yard work, and other house related tasks or appointments are scheduled for that day, one day a week volunteering at the kids school, one day a week volunteering in another location, one day a week helping my elderly mother (taking her grocery shopping, to the bank, cutting her grass, etc) who lives an hour away and the last day I keep open for whatever didn't get done M-Th - usually a couple more loads of laundry, a bit of baking, sometimes lunch with a friend, weekend grocery shopping. It is still busy but not stressful. Our evenings and mornings are low stress and we get to spend a lot of quality time together in the evenings and on weekends. We have time to do sports and homework without it being rushed and overall it works well.

Some of us stop at 2 children, thoughtfully spaced, just so we can continue our careers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"True, but - AND GET THIS OP - some of us women also work because we want to, because we are smart, educated and accomplished and have no desire to stay at home all day watching The Chew and filing our nails until the kids get home from school. My son has an intelligent, independent woman as a mother and I am proud that I can be a great role model for him so that he will grow up to be a man who respects women for ALL that they can do, not just as some domestic caretaker for him and his children. So judge me all you want. . .I am judging you because you obviously have nothing better to do with your day than sit on your ass posting drivel like this. Why don't you go out and do something your kids can be proud of while they are at school?"

This is really a shame because you are suggesting that childcare and domestic work is somehow not as valid or significant as other work, and that is not the case.

Irony = You don't even know how to quote someone else's post in your post claiming you are just as smart as WOHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH during the pre-K years as I flet that was a very important time to be at home. I had 4 kids in 4.5 years (not twins) so I can assure you I was not sitting back watching soaps. We didn't even have a TV as there was no time to watch it (well we had a TV screen but no cable).

Once my youngest was in school I could have worked as my life at that point was not stressful however due to where we live and after school activities I still wanted to be at home for before and after school so in the end I stayed home. I spend one day a week cleaning the house, doing the yard work, and other house related tasks or appointments are scheduled for that day, one day a week volunteering at the kids school, one day a week volunteering in another location, one day a week helping my elderly mother (taking her grocery shopping, to the bank, cutting her grass, etc) who lives an hour away and the last day I keep open for whatever didn't get done M-Th - usually a couple more loads of laundry, a bit of baking, sometimes lunch with a friend, weekend grocery shopping. It is still busy but not stressful. Our evenings and mornings are low stress and we get to spend a lot of quality time together in the evenings and on weekends. We have time to do sports and homework without it being rushed and overall it works well.

Some of us stop at 2 children, thoughtfully spaced, just so we can continue our careers.

Someone explains her choice without condemning others, and of course you have to snark. You must set a lovely example for your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us don't have a choice, asswipe! We have to work to put food on the table.

Name-calling is so tacky.

But really: What do you drive? What kind of home do you live in? What kind of neighborhood? What extras could you trim back on? Yeah, it's an inconvenient truth but you could do it.

I don't want to stay home with my children. I'm a cancer surgeon.

Wow! So, just want to pass on your DNA, then? At least you're honest. Sad, but honest.

Wrong. I work 4 days, usually long ones, per week. Certainly spend a lot of time with them the other 3 days of the week. Kinda hard to leave in the middle of surgery or post op to avoid my kids being in aftercare. They used to be with a nanny afterschool, but they chose after care.

Again, is it your position that parents - dads as well as moms - should give up surgery once they have children? So only childfree people should take on demanding jobs? Follow your argument to its logical conclusion.

[Anonymous]

I'm beginning to think there is one troll lurking on this thread, pretending to be a SAHM bashing the WOHMs, and then vice versa.

If that's not the case where are all these nasty women? My friends are from both groups, and we really don't care what other people are doing, help each other out, etc.

The nastiness on this topic seems to be born of boredom.