women who don't work or raise kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of men would rather be married to women who have their own interesting days than women who take care of all of their needs.

In all honesty I have never met a man who wishes his wife worked more.

Really? Do you know any men who are proud of their wife's great career? There's a partner at O'Melveny who's very glad his wife works, though obviously married to him she doesn't work for financial reasons.

My husband is very proud of my career and seems to brag about it all the time. I like the mutual respect we have for each other's intellectual abilities. Wouldn't you be a bit embarrassed if you worked and had to tell people your husband stayed at home/didn't work and not because he just lost his job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is making me ill.

At first i thought I was jealous, but even if I had the option to stay home and do nothing, I have way too much pride to do that.

I'd like to be a decent role model for my daughter--I want to teach her that her goal shouldn't be to marry "well," but it should be to fulfill her potential rather than just take the easy/lazy way out. Seriously, ladies, you stay home without kids to raise? Your husbands are going to get tired of that real fast. I know I'd kick my man to the curb if he decided to do that (and we didn't have 2.5 kids, which we do). Why do you as women get that luxury, but your husbands don't?

In my case it was an arrangement that my husband wAnted as much as I did. It is a luxury for him in many ways, as well as a status symbol.

Vomit, gag, barf. It's a status symbol that you don't have to work? Imagine what status would be conferred on your DH if you had a fabulous career he could rave about.

Surely this isn't the first you've heard of SAHW as a status symbol? Very common where I'm from.

[Anonymous]

Wow...some of you working women are bitter! You say you're happy with your choices, but your posts prove otherwise. Content people aren't bitter (or judgmental).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I want to know is how long these stay at home wives have been doing this? I assume the DH is expecting them to become SAHM's. I have no beefs with SAHM for the record. I do wonder if the husband would one day give an ultimatum to have children or get to work. I also wonder what happens if these women find they can't have children. Would that impact the relationship any differently than say a wife that is working a full-time job?

This is our situation and we're facing unexplained infertility. DH would never give me an ultimatum but I have started to think about what the rest of my life will look like if kids aren't an option for us. Heartbreaking, scary, and super exciting all at the same time because the future is wide open.

Best of luck to you!

Thank you very much!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I want to know is how long these stay at home wives have been doing this? I assume the DH is expecting them to become SAHM's. I have no beefs with SAHM for the record. I do wonder if the husband would one day give an ultimatum to have children or get to work. I also wonder what happens if these women find they can't have children. Would that impact the relationship any differently than say a wife that is working a full-time job?

This is our situation and we're facing unexplained infertility. DH would never give me an ultimatum but I have started to think about what the rest of my life will look like if kids aren't an option for us. Heartbreaking, scary, and super exciting all at the same time because the future is wide open.

How about extremely boring? If you don't adopt (a great option), I'd think you'd want to follow some sort of professional pursuit to break up the day? No? Wow, I cannot identify with the lot of you. At ALL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow...some of you working women are bitter! You say you're happy with your choices, but your posts prove otherwise. Content people aren't bitter (or judgmental).

I wouldn't want to be friends with any of you because you'd bore me to tears. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Ladies, slow down in your responses. I can barely keep up between this thread and the 'I don't want other people raising my children' thread. Plus, I'm all out of popcorn. 8)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I want to know is how long these stay at home wives have been doing this? I assume the DH is expecting them to become SAHM's. I have no beefs with SAHM for the record. I do wonder if the husband would one day give an ultimatum to have children or get to work. I also wonder what happens if these women find they can't have children. Would that impact the relationship any differently than say a wife that is working a full-time job?

This is our situation and we're facing unexplained infertility. DH would never give me an ultimatum but I have started to think about what the rest of my life will look like if kids aren't an option for us. Heartbreaking, scary, and super exciting all at the same time because the future is wide open.

How about extremely boring? If you don't adopt (a great option), I'd think you'd want to follow some sort of professional pursuit to break up the day? No? Wow, I cannot identify with the lot of you. At ALL.

Umm, I'm the pp and you may have misunderstood my post. The point is that without children (we won't adopt), I'm free to embark on any career I want.

[Anonymous]

"My husband is very proud of my career and seems to brag about it all the time. I like the mutual respect we have for each other's intellectual abilities. Wouldn't you be a bit embarrassed if you worked and had to tell people your husband stayed at home/didn't work and not because he just lost his job?"

Yes, I would be. He would be if I was home with no reason too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow...some of you working women are bitter! You say you're happy with your choices, but your posts prove otherwise. Content people aren't bitter (or judgmental).

I wouldn't want to be friends with any of you because you'd bore me to tears. Seriously.

There's more to life than working. Your "intellectual superiority" is probably overrated. In the grand scheme of things, you're probably nothing more than a paper-pusher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I want to know is how long these stay at home wives have been doing this? I assume the DH is expecting them to become SAHM's. I have no beefs with SAHM for the record. I do wonder if the husband would one day give an ultimatum to have children or get to work. I also wonder what happens if these women find they can't have children. Would that impact the relationship any differently than say a wife that is working a full-time job?

This is our situation and we're facing unexplained infertility. DH would never give me an ultimatum but I have started to think about what the rest of my life will look like if kids aren't an option for us. Heartbreaking, scary, and super exciting all at the same time because the future is wide open.

How about extremely boring? If you don't adopt (a great option), I'd think you'd want to follow some sort of professional pursuit to break up the day? No? Wow, I cannot identify with the lot of you. At ALL.

I'm a judgy WOHM but that was a low blow PP. Don't kick somebody when they're down. No class.

[Anonymous]

Looks like angry feminism is alive and well in DC!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I want to know is how long these stay at home wives have been doing this? I assume the DH is expecting them to become SAHM's. I have no beefs with SAHM for the record. I do wonder if the husband would one day give an ultimatum to have children or get to work. I also wonder what happens if these women find they can't have children. Would that impact the relationship any differently than say a wife that is working a full-time job?

This is our situation and we're facing unexplained infertility. DH would never give me an ultimatum but I have started to think about what the rest of my life will look like if kids aren't an option for us. Heartbreaking, scary, and super exciting all at the same time because the future is wide open.

How about extremely boring? If you don't adopt (a great option), I'd think you'd want to follow some sort of professional pursuit to break up the day? No? Wow, I cannot identify with the lot of you. At ALL.

Speaking as someone who also went thru IF, I found coming to my job a respite, something else for my mind to do than sit at home and obsess. My friend was going thru IF at the same time and she was a SAHW and she was a LUNATIC. I would have like a bazillion emails from her over every tiny thing. I kept trying to suggest she keep herself busy but to no avail. I really think her mental health went downhill (which in turn affected her marriage, her relationship with her parents and her sister, her relationship with her in-laws) and has never been the same b/c her mental faculties were free to swing any which crazy way they wanted during these years.

So, whatever decision you make with regard to IF (as I said, I went thru it too so I understand it is very hard), I would not overlook the mental benefits of having some type of work to go to on a daily basis, even if it is PT.

Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow...some of you working women are bitter! You say you're happy with your choices, but your posts prove otherwise. Content people aren't bitter (or judgmental).

I wouldn't want to be friends with any of you because you'd bore me to tears. Seriously.

There's more to life than working. Your "intellectual superiority" is probably overrated. In the grand scheme of things, you're probably nothing more than a paper-pusher.

I bet that 'intellectual superiority' will come in handy when PP is 70 yrs old and has medical bills to pay. What happens to you when your DH leaves you? You'll be a good decade or two behind the rest of us honey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I want to know is how long these stay at home wives have been doing this? I assume the DH is expecting them to become SAHM's. I have no beefs with SAHM for the record. I do wonder if the husband would one day give an ultimatum to have children or get to work. I also wonder what happens if these women find they can't have children. Would that impact the relationship any differently than say a wife that is working a full-time job?

This is our situation and we're facing unexplained infertility. DH would never give me an ultimatum but I have started to think about what the rest of my life will look like if kids aren't an option for us. Heartbreaking, scary, and super exciting all at the same time because the future is wide open.

How about extremely boring? If you don't adopt (a great option), I'd think you'd want to follow some sort of professional pursuit to break up the day? No? Wow, I cannot identify with the lot of you. At ALL.

Speaking as someone who also went thru IF, I found coming to my job a respite, something else for my mind to do than sit at home and obsess. My friend was going thru IF at the same time and she was a SAHW and she was a LUNATIC. I would have like a bazillion emails from her over every tiny thing. I kept trying to suggest she keep herself busy but to no avail. I really think her mental health went downhill (which in turn affected her marriage, her relationship with her parents and her sister, her relationship with her in-laws) and has never been the same b/c her mental faculties were free to swing any which crazy way they wanted during these years.

So, whatever decision you make with regard to IF (as I said, I went thru it too so I understand it is very hard), I would not overlook the mental benefits of having some type of work to go to on a daily basis, even if it is PT.

Good luck to you.

Thank you. I do agree that my busiest days are my best days.