women who don't work or raise kids

[Anonymous]

"I agree...different personalities. Unless I'm kicked out of the workforce, I'll probably always work in some capacity, but most likely on a part-time basis. Rather than take all of my pleasure at once (kicking back and doing nothing when retired), I prefer to have pleasure throughout my life. I'm saving for retirement now, but I'm not really being aggressive about it. I'm much more interested in acquiring rental property for eventual retirement income. "

Pleasure does not equal not working, necessarily, though. I'd rather work hard at 50 - more than full time - and not have to work at all at 63 if my health doesn't permit or I just don't feel like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of men would rather be married to women who have their own interesting days than women who take care of all of their needs.

In all honesty I have never met a man who wishes his wife worked more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is making me ill.

At first i thought I was jealous, but even if I had the option to stay home and do nothing, I have way too much pride to do that.

I'd like to be a decent role model for my daughter--I want to teach her that her goal shouldn't be to marry "well," but it should be to fulfill her potential rather than just take the easy/lazy way out. Seriously, ladies, you stay home without kids to raise? Your husbands are going to get tired of that real fast. I know I'd kick my man to the curb if he decided to do that (and we didn't have 2.5 kids, which we do). Why do you as women get that luxury, but your husbands don't?

In my case it was an arrangement that my husband wAnted as much as I did. It is a luxury for him in many ways, as well as a status symbol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Have you ever thought about the fact that woman who "doesn't work" is frequently checking up on an ill relative or a mentally ill and handicapped sibling? Long after we were out of the house my mother had to retire quite early because she had to take off so much to deal with my father's illness. They were lucky to be able to afford this. Guess what? Caregivers need to do things to keep their sanity. For some maybe shopping does it or maybe working out or maybe getting a manicure or just sitting in Starbucks reading a book.

I have no problem with a woman taking a role that doesn't involve "working" outside the home. If a family can afford it and it works for them, I think it's great. My concern is that society won't accept a man taking on the same role. Even stay at home dads with kids get looked down upon by some. Very sad.

This describes my mom. She was laid off when my brother and I were college-age. By then, my dad was making a good amount of money, so she decided to take some time off for herself. What happened was she started baby-sitting all my cousins' kids for free. My brother couldn't take time off to wait for the cable guy, so she stayed all day at his house. She drove old family members to dozens of dr. appointments. She became so close to my dad's mom since she drove her to every chemo appointment until Grammy was in remission. One day we counted, and she had driven 6 family members for cataract surgery. Much of the extended family lives in the same general area, so she has become the family "go to" person when anyone needs something.

But she doesn't work. No, not at all. [sarc/]

[Anonymous]

What I want to know is how long these stay at home wives have been doing this? I assume the DH is expecting them to become SAHM's. I have no beefs with SAHM for the record. I do wonder if the husband would one day give an ultimatum to have children or get to work. I also wonder what happens if these women find they can't have children. Would that impact the relationship any differently than say a wife that is working a full-time job?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is making me ill.

At first i thought I was jealous, but even if I had the option to stay home and do nothing, I have way too much pride to do that.

I'd like to be a decent role model for my daughter--I want to teach her that her goal shouldn't be to marry "well," but it should be to fulfill her potential rather than just take the easy/lazy way out. Seriously, ladies, you stay home without kids to raise? Your husbands are going to get tired of that real fast. I know I'd kick my man to the curb if he decided to do that (and we didn't have 2.5 kids, which we do). Why do you as women get that luxury, but your husbands don't?

In my case it was an arrangement that my husband wAnted as much as I did. It is a luxury for him in many ways, as well as a status symbol.

Well, that's nice for the two of you. How does it feel to be a status symbol?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Have you ever thought about the fact that woman who "doesn't work" is frequently checking up on an ill relative or a mentally ill and handicapped sibling? Long after we were out of the house my mother had to retire quite early because she had to take off so much to deal with my father's illness. They were lucky to be able to afford this. Guess what? Caregivers need to do things to keep their sanity. For some maybe shopping does it or maybe working out or maybe getting a manicure or just sitting in Starbucks reading a book.

I have no problem with a woman taking a role that doesn't involve "working" outside the home. If a family can afford it and it works for them, I think it's great. My concern is that society won't accept a man taking on the same role. Even stay at home dads with kids get looked down upon by some. Very sad.

This describes my mom. She was laid off when my brother and I were college-age. By then, my dad was making a good amount of money, so she decided to take some time off for herself. What happened was she started baby-sitting all my cousins' kids for free. My brother couldn't take time off to wait for the cable guy, so she stayed all day at his house. She drove old family members to dozens of dr. appointments. She became so close to my dad's mom since she drove her to every chemo appointment until Grammy was in remission. One day we counted, and she had driven 6 family members for cataract surgery. Much of the extended family lives in the same general area, so she has become the family "go to" person when anyone needs something.

But she doesn't work. No, not at all. [sarc/]

Ladies, this is not the person this thread is targeting. Much respect to those moms/caretakers. Doing what they do takes extreme self-sacrifice and generosity of spirit. Quite the opposite of what we're talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is making me ill.

At first i thought I was jealous, but even if I had the option to stay home and do nothing, I have way too much pride to do that.

I'd like to be a decent role model for my daughter--I want to teach her that her goal shouldn't be to marry "well," but it should be to fulfill her potential rather than just take the easy/lazy way out. Seriously, ladies, you stay home without kids to raise? Your husbands are going to get tired of that real fast. I know I'd kick my man to the curb if he decided to do that (and we didn't have 2.5 kids, which we do). Why do you as women get that luxury, but your husbands don't?

In my case it was an arrangement that my husband wAnted as much as I did. It is a luxury for him in many ways, as well as a status symbol.

Well, that's nice for the two of you. How does it feel to be a status symbol?

It's nice. beautiful and pampered

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of men would rather be married to women who have their own interesting days than women who take care of all of their needs.

In all honesty I have never met a man who wishes his wife worked more.

Really? Do you know any men who are proud of their wife's great career? There's a partner at O'Melveny who's very glad his wife works, though obviously married to him she doesn't work for financial reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is making me ill.

At first i thought I was jealous, but even if I had the option to stay home and do nothing, I have way too much pride to do that.

I'd like to be a decent role model for my daughter--I want to teach her that her goal shouldn't be to marry "well," but it should be to fulfill her potential rather than just take the easy/lazy way out. Seriously, ladies, you stay home without kids to raise? Your husbands are going to get tired of that real fast. I know I'd kick my man to the curb if he decided to do that (and we didn't have 2.5 kids, which we do). Why do you as women get that luxury, but your husbands don't?

In my case it was an arrangement that my husband wAnted as much as I did. It is a luxury for him in many ways, as well as a status symbol.

So you admit to being a trophy wife? Do you worry he will one day trade you in for a newer model? Don't do a Bette Broderick when the young secretary moves into your spot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is making me ill.

At first i thought I was jealous, but even if I had the option to stay home and do nothing, I have way too much pride to do that.

I'd like to be a decent role model for my daughter--I want to teach her that her goal shouldn't be to marry "well," but it should be to fulfill her potential rather than just take the easy/lazy way out. Seriously, ladies, you stay home without kids to raise? Your husbands are going to get tired of that real fast. I know I'd kick my man to the curb if he decided to do that (and we didn't have 2.5 kids, which we do). Why do you as women get that luxury, but your husbands don't?

In my case it was an arrangement that my husband wAnted as much as I did. It is a luxury for him in many ways, as well as a status symbol.

Vomit, gag, barf. It's a status symbol that you don't have to work? Imagine what status would be conferred on your DH if you had a fabulous career he could rave about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is making me ill.

At first i thought I was jealous, but even if I had the option to stay home and do nothing, I have way too much pride to do that.

I'd like to be a decent role model for my daughter--I want to teach her that her goal shouldn't be to marry "well," but it should be to fulfill her potential rather than just take the easy/lazy way out. Seriously, ladies, you stay home without kids to raise? Your husbands are going to get tired of that real fast. I know I'd kick my man to the curb if he decided to do that (and we didn't have 2.5 kids, which we do). Why do you as women get that luxury, but your husbands don't?

In my case it was an arrangement that my husband wAnted as much as I did. It is a luxury for him in many ways, as well as a status symbol.

Is your husband Indian?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I want to know is how long these stay at home wives have been doing this? I assume the DH is expecting them to become SAHM's. I have no beefs with SAHM for the record. I do wonder if the husband would one day give an ultimatum to have children or get to work. I also wonder what happens if these women find they can't have children. Would that impact the relationship any differently than say a wife that is working a full-time job?

This is our situation and we're facing unexplained infertility. DH would never give me an ultimatum but I have started to think about what the rest of my life will look like if kids aren't an option for us. Heartbreaking, scary, and super exciting all at the same time because the future is wide open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is making me ill.

At first i thought I was jealous, but even if I had the option to stay home and do nothing, I have way too much pride to do that.

I'd like to be a decent role model for my daughter--I want to teach her that her goal shouldn't be to marry "well," but it should be to fulfill her potential rather than just take the easy/lazy way out. Seriously, ladies, you stay home without kids to raise? Your husbands are going to get tired of that real fast. I know I'd kick my man to the curb if he decided to do that (and we didn't have 2.5 kids, which we do). Why do you as women get that luxury, but your husbands don't?

In my case it was an arrangement that my husband wAnted as much as I did. It is a luxury for him in many ways, as well as a status symbol.

Well, that's nice for the two of you. How does it feel to be a status symbol?

It's nice. beautiful and pampered

No concerns about him running off with a younger version of you for even more status in a few years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I want to know is how long these stay at home wives have been doing this? I assume the DH is expecting them to become SAHM's. I have no beefs with SAHM for the record. I do wonder if the husband would one day give an ultimatum to have children or get to work. I also wonder what happens if these women find they can't have children. Would that impact the relationship any differently than say a wife that is working a full-time job?

This is our situation and we're facing unexplained infertility. DH would never give me an ultimatum but I have started to think about what the rest of my life will look like if kids aren't an option for us. Heartbreaking, scary, and super exciting all at the same time because the future is wide open.

Best of luck to you!