women who don't work or raise kids

[Anonymous]

I know someone who did this. Although I don't think she ever really had a real job because she met DH in college. DH is a professional athlete and makes a very comfortable living. So I think she did it because they don't need the money and she's probably a bit spoiled. But she also needed to be able to move easily when he got transferred to other teams in different cities and because she needed to keep an eye on him and watch out for gold digging, star struck female fans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know several guys now who are recently married and whose wives have promptly quit working upon marriage. I assume because this is in anticipation of having children but none of said wives are pregnant. The men are wealthy but not uber-rich where it might be expected that wives would join socialite class.
Explain to me why you would quit working BEFORE you are even pregnant. Is working THAT bad?

Explain to me why you care how other people live their lives.

[Anonymous]

Lordy-I wish this could be me! I love my job, make just as much money as my husband and honestly like going to work everyday. But, I've been going to work every day for the past 21 years. If my husband made enough so that we could have the same standard of living of higher, I would totally capitalize on that and quit working!! The people on here who have their panties all wadded up and are so judgey about that just can't admit that some little (if not big) part of them is jealous. I find that cheerfully admitting envy or jealousy really is quite cathartic and allows you to let go of alot of anger.

[Anonymous]

Well, I'm 19:42 so I only had a couple of months where I was home before becoming pregnant. And, during those months I was interviewing some and deciding what I should do at that point, not knowing how long it might take us to conceive....so maybe my situation isn't exactly what you're describing. But, I will tell you I really enjoyed myself! I took up yoga, volunteered, travelled with no time limitations, planned trips for DH and I, spent time with friends and family, read a lot. We'd also just moved into a new house that needed furniture from bottom to top and some minor work, so I oversaw that.

Now I'm pregnant and continuing the home organization as well as preparing for the baby, and planning travel while we still have the freedom!

I'm not sure how I would have felt about all of this if there were no kids in the immediate future - I'm sure I would have gone back to work in that case, but I can see why some women wouldn't want to! Jobs can be a b*tch. If I was staying home with no pregnancy, I'd definitely do a lot more volunteer and charity work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know several guys now who are recently married and whose wives have promptly quit working upon marriage. I assume because this is in anticipation of having children but none of said wives are pregnant. The men are wealthy but not uber-rich where it might be expected that wives would join socialite class.
Explain to me why you would quit working BEFORE you are even pregnant. Is working THAT bad?

Explain to me why you care how other people live their lives.

Why does anyone care why anyone does anything? I care because I am truly curious. It is a path that seems extremely unusual in this day and age, and I wanted to hear from the women who did it. Obviously, this impacts me in no way, shape or form. But what better place to ask than an anonymous forum.

[Anonymous]

One other question to the women who chose to stay home before having kids. Do you feel like you have to ask your husband for money? Is there an expectation that you are "pulling your weight" so to speak -- perhaps running a household, cooking meals? Or are things really equitable with no questions asked? I guess it probably depends on the marriage.
Also, I wonder if there are any men out there whose wives do well who choose to stay home without raising kids.

[Anonymous]

Between the economy and the divorce rates in this country, women who get comfortable not working and living off someone else are in for an incredibly rude awakening when they have no skills and need to make their own living.

It's a terrible thing to plan for, yet odds are good, these days, that something is going to burst the SAH bubble.

A smart woman has a plan and doesn't settle for reading magazines, sleeping in, or working out. These won't pay the bills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you "fill up the day" with when you're not working and don't have kids?

Tons of stuff! Travel, work out, get together with friends, take random classes that interest me (like right now I'm taking a cooking class), go to the beach house, read books, go shopping.
All those things you wish you could do but don't have time for because you're working? I do them. Plus, I'm not exhausted when DH gets home from work!

Do you have alot of worries over 401K and Retirement money? Or what would you do if your husband left you? I just wonder what your back up plan is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One other question to the women who chose to stay home before having kids. Do you feel like you have to ask your husband for money? Is there an expectation that you are "pulling your weight" so to speak -- perhaps running a household, cooking meals? Or are things really equitable with no questions asked? I guess it probably depends on the marriage.
Also, I wonder if there are any men out there whose wives do well who choose to stay home without raising kids.

I'm the one whose mother was also a housewife. No, I don't ask my DH for money. Firstly, I came into this marriage with money. I never spend more than interest payments (so, no principle). Secondly, he contributes by bringing in the current generation's money. I contribute by scheduling 90% of our social life, and keeping up the house. We simply contribute in different ways.

What we agreed on was that any time either one of us were going to spend more than $200 on any purchase, we'd let the other know, so if they had any concerns about it, they could be raised. So he'll say "I'm going flat screen shopping," and then I know he's going over. Or I'll tell him, "I'm meeting Jessica and we're going to Neiman," and then he knows I'm going over. Obviously not needed when we go out to dinner together, or before Christmas or birthdays or Valentine's Day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you "fill up the day" with when you're not working and don't have kids?

Tons of stuff! Travel, work out, get together with friends, take random classes that interest me (like right now I'm taking a cooking class), go to the beach house, read books, go shopping.
All those things you wish you could do but don't have time for because you're working? I do them. Plus, I'm not exhausted when DH gets home from work!

Do you have alot of worries over 401K and Retirement money? Or what would you do if your husband left you? I just wonder what your back up plan is.

I think she's a trustie.

[Anonymous]

Good for them.

[Anonymous]

Indentured servitude. Hope he doesn't die or leave you. What kills me is that stay-at-homers with grad degrees their parents paid for. Good use of money!

[Anonymous]

I think the trick is if you don't have a job you love....then find a job you love. I don't know. If you can afford not to work seems like you can afford to find your passion and go for more schooling in something you love....that's what I would do.

Hey, do what you want, but I don't think I'd get much out of this, in the long term (would be fun for a few months!). Something to be said for earning a paycheck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One other question to the women who chose to stay home before having kids. Do you feel like you have to ask your husband for money? Is there an expectation that you are "pulling your weight" so to speak -- perhaps running a household, cooking meals? Or are things really equitable with no questions asked? I guess it probably depends on the marriage.
Also, I wonder if there are any men out there whose wives do well who choose to stay home without raising kids.

I'm the one whose mother was also a housewife. No, I don't ask my DH for money. Firstly, I came into this marriage with money. I never spend more than interest payments (so, no principle). Secondly, he contributes by bringing in the current generation's money. I contribute by scheduling 90% of our social life, and keeping up the house. We simply contribute in different ways.

What we agreed on was that any time either one of us were going to spend more than $200 on any purchase, we'd let the other know, so if they had any concerns about it, they could be raised. So he'll say "I'm going flat screen shopping," and then I know he's going over. Or I'll tell him, "I'm meeting Jessica and we're going to Neiman," and then he knows I'm going over. Obviously not needed when we go out to dinner together, or before Christmas or birthdays or Valentine's Day.

Who are you? How do you develop a sense of self when you've never had to rely on yourself ever for anything? You contribute to the marriage by planning social engagements??? You realize there are people in DC who can't afford meals, right?

[Anonymous]

I would LOVE to do this. Working is overrated if you ask me. My husband and I hope for me to quit one day, kids or not. I've worked in high powered jobs for 10 years and have saved a lot of money and think I deserve it.