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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What I want to know is how long these stay at home wives have been doing this?  I assume the DH is expecting them to become SAHM's.  I have no beefs with SAHM for the record.  I do wonder if the husband would one day give an ultimatum to have children or get to work.  I also wonder what happens if these women find they can't have children.  Would that impact the relationship any differently than say a wife that is working a full-time job?[/quote]

This is our situation and we're facing unexplained infertility. DH would never give me an ultimatum but I have started to think about what the rest of my life will look like if kids aren't an option for us. Heartbreaking, scary, and super exciting all at the same time because the future is wide open.[/quote]

How about extremely boring?  If you don't adopt (a great option), I'd think you'd want to follow some sort of professional pursuit to break up the day?  No?  Wow, I cannot identify with the lot of you.  At ALL.[/quote]

Speaking as someone who also went thru IF, I found coming to my job a respite, something else for my mind to do than sit at home and obsess.  My friend was going thru IF at the same time and she was a SAHW and she was a LUNATIC.  I would have like a bazillion emails from her over every tiny thing.  I kept trying to suggest she keep herself busy but to no avail.  I really think her mental health went downhill (which in turn affected her marriage, her relationship with her parents and her sister, her relationship with her in-laws) and has never been the same b/c her mental faculties were free to swing any which crazy way they wanted during these years.

So, whatever decision you make with regard to IF (as I said, I went thru it too so I understand it is very hard), I would not overlook the mental benefits of having some type of work to go to on a daily basis, even if it is PT.

Good luck to you.  [/quote]

Thank you. I do agree that my busiest days are my best days.[/quote]

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