DC Urban Moms Farce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am having my 17th child and plan to throw myself a baby shower at the Four Seasons. With all the planning that goes into such an event, I think that I will be way too pooped to take care of the thank you cards. Do you think that it is tacky for me to ask the guests to include stamped self addressed envelopes with their gifts so that it will make it easier for my maid to send out thank you cards.

Thanks in advance for all of you wonderful advice.

Elisa

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am having my 17th child and plan to throw myself a baby shower at the Four Seasons. With all the planning that goes into such an event, I think that I will be way too pooped to take care of the thank you cards. Do you think that it is tacky for me to ask the guests to include stamped self addressed envelopes with their gifts so that it will make it easier for my maid to send out thank you cards.

Thanks in advance for all of you wonderful advice.

Why don't you just ask your guests to write their own thank you notes? That's what I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am having my 17th child and plan to throw myself a baby shower at the Four Seasons. With all the planning that goes into such an event, I think that I will be way too pooped to take care of the thank you cards. Do you think that it is tacky for me to ask the guests to include stamped self addressed envelopes with their gifts so that it will make it easier for my maid to send out thank you cards.

Thanks in advance for all of you wonderful advice.

Why don't you just ask your guests to write their own thank you notes? That's what I did.

Could any Mrs. Simpson's graduates let us know what stationary would be appropriate for guest-written thank you notes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am having my 17th child and plan to throw myself a baby shower at the Four Seasons. With all the planning that goes into such an event, I think that I will be way too pooped to take care of the thank you cards. Do you think that it is tacky for me to ask the guests to include stamped self addressed envelopes with their gifts so that it will make it easier for my maid to send out thank you cards.

Thanks in advance for all of you wonderful advice.

Why don't you just ask your guests to write their own thank you notes? That's what I did.

Could any Mrs. Simpson's graduates let us know what stationary would be appropriate for guest-written thank you notes?

Mrs. Simpson's is an Anti-Semetic Organization! So you may want to offer your Jewish guests different stationary...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am having my 17th child and plan to throw myself a baby shower at the Four Seasons. With all the planning that goes into such an event, I think that I will be way too pooped to take care of the thank you cards. Do you think that it is tacky for me to ask the guests to include stamped self addressed envelopes with their gifts so that it will make it easier for my maid to send out thank you cards.

Thanks in advance for all of you wonderful advice.

Why don't you just ask your guests to write their own thank you notes? That's what I did.

Could any Mrs. Simpson's graduates let us know what stationary would be appropriate for guest-written thank you notes?

Mrs. Simpson's is an Anti-Semetic Organization! So you may want to offer your Jewish guests different stationary...

Excellent point. But I do have my black friend coming. And that cute Asian family too. Would they be offended if I just used "white" stationary? Help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am having my 17th child and plan to throw myself a baby shower at the Four Seasons. With all the planning that goes into such an event, I think that I will be way too pooped to take care of the thank you cards. Do you think that it is tacky for me to ask the guests to include stamped self addressed envelopes with their gifts so that it will make it easier for my maid to send out thank you cards.

Thanks in advance for all of you wonderful advice.

Why don't you just ask your guests to write their own thank you notes? That's what I did.

Could any Mrs. Simpson's graduates let us know what stationary would be appropriate for guest-written thank you notes?

Mrs. Simpson's is an Anti-Semetic Organization! So you may want to offer your Jewish guests different stationary...

Excellent point. But I do have my black friend coming. And that cute Asian family too. Would they be offended if I just used "white" stationary? Help!

Mrs. Simpson's graduate here and willing to guide you through this sticky wicket.

For the cute Asian family, may I ask if one of the parents is white? That does seem to be quite the rage these days. Pearl laced antique ivory stationary is exquisite and is the tonic to cure any Asian-Caucasian family etiquette issues. For an all Asian family, you might consider the ecru stationary. That should cover all but the darkest of the hues. Whatever you decide, that cute Asian family (we are talking about only one family, are we not?) will feel welcome and will recognize your thoughfulness and hospitality. No need to thank me. Thank Mrs. Simpson.

For your black friend, I am afraid I can offer no advice as I have absolutely no experience there.

Ta Ta.

MRS. DC-MiddleburgM

[Anonymous]

I am not a racist (really, I have a black friend), but have you noticed that foreign born nannies are uneducated, can't speak English, have two heads, etc. Why would anyone want that when they could have me -- An American born nanny with a college degree. But please dont' ask me to do any housework. I like to spend time when the kids are napping or away to either 1) nap to prepare for when the kids wake up, or (2) pend my time preparing projects and reading up on child development issues (apparently, I must do this everyday).

And antoerh thing, I hate when thes nanny's post with tyepos and cannt use proper gramamer. Me and my husband really questn whether we want these kinds of nanny's to be near our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not a racist (really, I have a black friend), but have you noticed that foreign born nannies are uneducated, can't speak English, have two heads, etc. Why would anyone want that when they could have me -- An American born nanny with a college degree. But please dont' ask me to do any housework. I like to spend time when the kids are napping or away to either 1) nap to prepare for when the kids wake up, or (2) pend my time preparing projects and reading up on child development issues (apparently, I must do this everyday).

And antoerh thing, I hate when thes nanny's post with tyepos and cannt use proper gramamer. Me and my husband really questn whether we want these kinds of nanny's to be near our kids.

Good point. Does anyone know whether the nanny who was spotted letting that DC wallow in the cesspool by the Cosi at 10th and E Streets was using proper grammer? If so, then this should shore up her shortcomings. If not, I hope that she was fired, in writing, using Pearl laced antique ivory stationary, of course.

[Anonymous]

My family and I are relocating to the DC area. We want to live somewhere close in with great schools, terrific neighbors, and walking distance to the metro with tons of other amenities. We can afford to pay up to $200K for a house. Please make suggestions, thanks!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
For your black friend, I am afraid I can offer no advice as I have absolutely no experience there.

Perhaps I might be able to help here. As a black person who's often "*the* friend," I've found my thank you notes to be well received when written in white ink on dark brown stationery -- evoking, even embracing, whole "oreo" theme. You might honor your friend by doing the same.

Signed,

Ms. Double Stuff

[Anonymous]

It's Double Stuf. I should know, I just ate 10.

I need to go throw up now, can't be too fat or the other members of the lifestyle won't be interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
For your black friend, I am afraid I can offer no advice as I have absolutely no experience there.

Perhaps I might be able to help here. As a black person who's often "*the* friend," I've found my thank you notes to be well received when written in white ink on dark brown stationery -- evoking, even embracing, whole "oreo" theme. You might honor your friend by doing the same.

Signed,

Ms. Double Stuff

OMG!

I've been doing the reverse - dark brown ink on white stationary. Quel horreur.

I am now truly enwhitened. I mean, enlightened.

Gracias, sista.

[Anonymous]

I just took a pregnancy test and it was negative? Anyone else ever have a negative pregnancy test and then gotten a positive test later?

Btw, I finished my period 2 days ago. I don't understand why the test is negative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok, here's one that I see more on the listserv than the forum but anyway:

How should I organize my child's books? Some are big, some are small. Some are red, some are blue. Do I put the blues ones together? The big and red ones together? Do I keep them on a bookshelf? In a bin? What do people do? I just don't know how to handle this...

You are a racist. I can't believe you would even think of organizing them by color in this day and age.

[Anonymous]

JSteele. Please stop calling me. I know you have a crush on me, and my husband, but this is getting ridiculous. I told you. I can't guarantee you seats at inauguration even if you do give Mr. Plouffe access to all the emails on DCUM.

Respectfully
Michelle O

PS. My pal Cindy said she'll kick your butt if you let anyone else post to the c*nt thread.

PPS. Please tell the good folks at GDS we will gladly accept their invitation to pre-pre-register the girls. But don't tell anyone or they'll think we're rich, connected, members of a minority group.