DC Urban Moms Farce

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:LOL!!!!!

8:18, I totally agree! OMG!

21:15 and 23:48 are complete IDIOTS!!!!!

PP, get a life! You rock OP!

15:13, what the hell is your problem?


Tee, hee, hee!
Anonymous
At what age did your child do everything? My child is three. Is he behind schedule?

Can anyone recommend anything? I have some things, but not everything.

Did anyone hear from any schools today? I didn’t hear. But I haven’t applied anywhere either. Do you think that means something?

Would someone please compare Beauvoir vs. Sidwell vs. GDS vs. Maret vs. Lowell vs. Green Acres vs. Burgundy Farms vs. Holtal Arms vs. Georgetown Prep vs. Landon vs. Norwood vs. St. Albans vs. NCS vs. Barrie?

Have I wasted my money? I’m the OP who “has some things, but not everything.”

What would you do? All the time…what would you do? THANKS!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:and while we're on the subject,

Giving birth was the most wonderful transformative experience of my life.

It was that experience that made me a real woman, and gave me the empathy and compassion to TRULY love a child.



It must have been a vaginal birth then b/c C-sections don't count as real births. I mean how do you become a "real woman" by having someone cut open your stomach? Nothing transformative about that!


You are an fu*&ing moron. Vaginal births are for animals. Elective c-Sections are the way to go. Check out the perfect round heads on my babies. You can see the pictures and a lot of other intimate details about my family on my web site. Really, check it out; i get a cut everytime I goad someone into visting my web site.

And I just don't understand why people hate me. I am so misunderstood. Maybe it is because I am so much smarter than everyone else. I can be nice; after all, sometimes I offer my discount coupons to people on this site.

I have had it with this site. Goodbye -- I am never coming back (I mean it this time)!

Love,
Amy



I think the fact that I got all the inside references in this post is evidence that I spend too much time on DCUM. I need help. Can you recommend a therapist?


Can you make it a group therapist?


Hi, my name is Ann, and I am a DCUM-aholic.
Anonymous
Could anyone recommend a place that will install my carseat for me? I have already had a couple of bad experiences with some morons that were helping me for free, but those idiots had no idea what they were doing. And yes, I have complained to their superiors! I absolutely refuse to read the directions included in the box, and I insist that this is done for me. And no, I will not ask my husband either. Any help is much appreciated.
Anonymous
bump (wanna laugh some more, so please contribute, loved the last few...)
Anonymous
So this is where all the regulars were hanging out yesterday. I was wondering why traffic elsewhere was so slow and good natured.
Anonymous
This morning when I woke up I went to check on the baby. What I found was really strange. The baby was downstairs with the nanny eating her organic pressed venison cereal. In the crib I found my DH, wearing nothing but a diaper! Who put him there and where did he find the diaper! I was really certain that his "thing" was dressing up in my thongs, but now this!! Do you have a therapist you can recommend? I am going to have to send the nanny to see someone! How will she deal with this, and my habit of walking around naked all day?
Anonymous
Do you think this is doable?

My SIL, very best best friend, and college roommate all will be getting married in an adults-only triple wedding (they're swingers) this November. The ceremony will be in outer Mongolia. Running water, but no dependable electricity. My baby will be 2 weeks old then. I really want to go, can't I take my baby? Isn't it unfair of them to exclude children? I plan on breastfeeding, but could supplement with yak milk in a pinch, I guess. How do I get a passport and visa for a fetus? Help please!
Anonymous
I need help getting my kid into Beauvoir! How did you get your DC into Beavoir? Can you tell me exactly what questions were on the test? What about the playgroups? Or should I not worry about tests, interviews and playgrous and just focus on the monetary donation? How much money did you give to the school? Was that under the table or did you give it as a legitimate gift? Did they name a wing after your family before or after your child graduated from there?
Anonymous
MY DS got into Beauvoir, GDS, Sidwell, St. Pat's and Maret. We did not want to choose between such great schools so we enrolled him in all five and figure he will do one day a week at each but to swing the tuitions I have to go back to working nights at the Mayflower bar. Is it okay to move DS's bedtime up an hour so I can get to the Mayflower in time for the afterwork crowd or should we hire a nanny to put him to bed?
Anonymous
I will be moving to DC soon. Where can I live, work, shop, and play to ensure that I am not surrounded by "not pretty even by DC standards" types.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:MY DS got into Beauvoir, GDS, Sidwell, St. Pat's and Maret. We did not want to choose between such great schools so we enrolled him in all five and figure he will do one day a week at each but to swing the tuitions I have to go back to working nights at the Mayflower bar. Is it okay to move DS's bedtime up an hour so I can get to the Mayflower in time for the afterwork crowd or should we hire a nanny to put him to bed?


Where are the best super high end shopping places around Beauvoir, GDS, Sidwell, St. Pat's and Maret? I suggest you let that be determinitive of which school you choose. It will cut down on your daily commuting time.
Anonymous
So J steele, are you getting a kick out of all of this? Personally I enjoyed the first several pages.
Anonymous
Shhh. Why call in the principal when all we kids are having such a good time.

But yes, it may be getting old. Maybe shelve this for awhile, and go back to the "serious" threads to play?
Anonymous
I am having my 17th child and plan to throw myself a baby shower at the Four Seasons. With all the planning that goes into such an event, I think that I will be way too pooped to take care of the thank you cards. Do you think that it is tacky for me to ask the guests to include stamped self addressed envelopes with their gifts so that it will make it easier for my maid to send out thank you cards.

Thanks in advance for all of you wonderful advice.
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