Does every adult female have an experience where they were almost kidnapped?
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Anonymous
Statistically, you are better off trusting a woman (especially with a child or stroller) than a man. realistically, any person could be a monster or an angel. |
Anonymous
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No. I'm pretty standoffish though. I got freaked out by a car that was maybe following me when I was running, but really, it was more likely just hyper vigilance. Had a high school "friend" pin me down and try to make out with me, but he was a lot bigger/stronger, so if he really wanted to do worse, he would have. (Still not ok!!!) Was intimidated when traveling by some people who tried to get me and a friend to pay more for something, but we eventually ran and they let us.
But clear to me how many times things could have tipped the other way, how a many could have made a different choice and probably had no consequences. |
Anonymous
Gavin de Becker is a specialist in security. He wrote the book The Gift of Fear. He said it's not strangers you have to worry about per se. It's the people who won't take "no" for an answer. One example he shares is that of a woman who said "no" to a man who offered to carry her groceries into her apartment. She said no. He ignored her and tried to attack her. Your intuition is smart and paying attention to it can save your life. I highly recommend reading the book. |
Anonymous
| No, but I've been sexually assaulted, groped several times at crowded events, and have had a man expose himself to me when I was a young teen. I have quite a few friends who have been sexually assaulted, molested as children, date raped, plied with alcohol at parties and attacked-- and these are just the friends who have told me about it. I'm in my 50s and I believe it's very common for women my age to have experienced these things. |
Anonymous
Exactly. It is always a gamble. Plus, we often look the other way when women do bad things. |
Anonymous
Have you been to beach week or Mardi Gras? Men exposing themselves is gross, but so are women exposing themselves at those events. Yet, rarely does anyone care about women exposing themselves. |
Anonymous
There arent usually children where women are flashing. On the other hand, most times when men are flashing it's TO children. Weird that you're trying to minimize what this woman has gone through. Why are you on this thread? To discredit women? Are you the rape apologist from a few pages back? |
Anonymous
Do they really??? Especially in current times? Maybe 30 years ago high school boys were looked up to if they could date a teacher but these days almost everyone would find the teacher gross. Honestly, same with the gender reversed. |
Anonymous
I am sorry for you too. Isn't it crazy how it is still a factor in our brains decades later? I had a 2nd awful experience a year later when I was 18. I agreed to go to a downtown Halloween celebration kind of on a date. A bunch of us met at this guy's house, changed into costume, and headed out. A bit after midnight, everyone separated and I went back to this guy's house and changed. I tried to leave and he wouldn't let me. No one else was there that I could call out to help me. He locked me in his bedroom and tried to pressure me into sex. I refused. I knew he had done some drugs and I was absolutely not interested, but now scared that he was off his rocker. He started punching me in my face and head so hard, he knocked me off the bed onto the floor. I internally started freaking out, since I was being held captive. I could tell he wanted to force things on me, but he wanted me to relent and agree. Finally, he reached in the top drawer of his dresser, pulled out a gun, slowly loaded it, cocked it, pointed it at my head then laughed and said " You think I'm going to kill you, don't you?". OMG, I was this nice girl, taking calculus with my freshman college friends, a recent girl scout who was volunteering with mentally disabled adult women, and now I was silently freaking out inside, wishing I could will my dad to come to the bedroom window and rescue me. I kept dreaming this guy's roommate would come home so I could yell out for someone to save me. It went on for 5 hours and he wasn't going to stop. I finally realized my only way out was to use my wits. So I started acting. I pretended I wanted to date him. I told him I was sorry we had this fight and I wanted to make it up to him, but I needed to go home and sleep first. I said I hated to start out our "relationship" this way. He bought it! He told me he would let me go, but don't ever do this to him again. I grabbed my bag, could not believe it as he let me walk out of his bedroom door then out his front door. I got in my car. It was a stick shift. My legs were shaking so badly I could barely operate the car. I made it home, and for the next year I was ashamed at what happened and unable to speak to anyone except my mother. After a year, I realized I was in a bad place, and made a plan to heal myself. I decided I would practice talking to people, starting with the public librarian, exchanging pleasantries as I checked out books, then to a few classmates to start a math study group. Two years later, when I was 20, I met a guy in my classes who I started dating, and I guess I pulled out of my PTSD, or whatever I was in. People might say, why didn't I call the police. Well, I knew it would be his word against my word. And I honestly feared it would probably not be enough evidence to make a difference, but it would anger him and he would likely kill me. 10 years later, I was driving by a store parking lot, pulled in, and something just popped into my head. My god, he raped me! I had never assigned that word to what he did to me, nor what the guy who drove me to the deserted parking lot had done to me. I had always blamed myself for getting into both situations. Years later, when the internet came around, I looked this guy up. He had a restraining order filed by a woman and he was now a real estate agent. Oh boy, that triggered me, can you imagine what he might have done to a client wanting to see a house. I was conflicted on contacting his broker, but if I had seen he had an active violent charge I would have contacted the DA. Thank god, I did not get pregnant in either situation. When I hear people who are against abortion say women should just keep their legs crossed if they don't want to get pregnant, I get physically angry. I can't imagine being forced to have a child with either of these two violent monsters. Or subject a baby to being the child of such a horrible "father". My understanding is with all women who have found themselves in these positions and who "relented" (as the idiot PP termed it). I get you. We were kidnapped (thank you to another PP, I never framed it that way, but yes we were kidnapped). We were helpless. And we were raped. And we survived to live another day. |
Anonymous
| I am amazed at how you kept your wits about you PP! |
Anonymous
| I don't. I did not grow up in the U.S. I was, however, harrased and touched inappropriately on a bus by a pervert in Europe. |
Anonymous
| A man in Neuvo Laredo offered money to my father for us three girls and my mother to go visit his “friends “. Early 1970’s. |
Anonymous
Quite true. That's why defense attorneys try to set more males on a jury when the defendant is female, as men will go easier on a female than a male. Though times are changing and more and more women are being arrested for sleeping with students these days than ever. Many times more than men sleeping with students. |
Anonymous
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Possibly. I’m in my mid 50s and this happened in the mid 80s when I was 14. I was walking home from the library in my suburb with an armful of books in the middle of the afternoon. A middle-aged man in a car pulled up and offered to give me a ride, said he was going in the same direction I was. I was instantly nervous, told him no, backed away, and was getting ready to run back to library. He then drove off in the opposite direction he said he was going.
I’m not sure what his ulterior motives were, but I knew enough to get nowhere near that car. |