Reply to Does every adult female have an experience where they were almost kidnapped?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This thread is so sad.

Men are mostly a sad bunch. [/quote]
Most men are decent humans. Some men are monsters.[/quote]
43% of men have admitted to sexually assaulting someone since the age of 14. How many men do you think didn't admit to it?

"some" men aren't monsters. At least half of all men are sexual predators. So no. Not most are decent. Most are the monsters. [/quote]
43% of men where? 43% of how many men? Where was this study conducted? A prison? Please sight the study where they interviewed every single man in the world or just in America. I will reiterate: MOST men are decent people. SOME men are monsters.[/quote]
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4455931/

Google is free. No need to be a rape apologist. Not a good look for a woman. [/quote]
The first study they cite includes 300ish college males. This isn't about forcible rape. It is about coersion and tactics those makes use to obtain sex. I am not a rape apologist. I am a critical thinker. [/quote]

NP but you're moving the goalposts.  You asked for substantiation of PP's statement that 43% admitted to sexual assault, now you're saying it doesn't count if it isn't forcible rape.  That's . . . pretty much the definition of rape apology, sorry to tell you.[/quote]
43% of 300 is 129 males who admitted to using coersivevtactics to have sex with a female. Even the authors of the study stop short of calling it forcible rape. As an aside, there is a difference between relenting and regretting and being physically forced.[/quote]

Coercive does not mean *just* verbally persuading. It goes beyond that and it's repulsive and sometimes there is an unspoken threat that the female picks up so she's operating from a place of fear. In that situation, I would not characterize it as she "relented" and now "regrets".

This is what happened to me when I was 17 and a college freshman. My car wouldn't start one night. A friend of a classmate who I had seen around campus a few times offered to give me a ride. Instead of taking me where I wanted to go, he drove to to the most dangerous part of town to a dark, deserted parking lot filled with broken glass, no street lights and questionable people roaming the nearby streets looking to buy/sell drugs & sex.

Back there, out of vocal reach of anyone, he tried to make a move. I rejected him. He told me if I didn't agree, he would take my clothes, shoes and wallet and leave me all alone to find my way back. I probably would have been raped multiple times if not killed.

So, did I relent or did he physically force me?

In my 30's, a coworker and I were discussing this type of thing. She told me in college, she and another girl agreed to go with 2 guys across the border to Tijuana to have a nice night dining, drinking and dancing. The 2 guys somehow had access to a room and started pressuring my coworker and her friend. They rejected their advances and said they were just there for fun. The guys threatened to take their IDs and leave them behind in Mexico if they didn't agree.

So, did they relent or did the guys physically force them? [/quote]

We knew the same guy or there are a lot of monsters out there.

I'm sorry.

This still affects me to this day.[/quote]
I am sorry for you too. Isn't it crazy how it is still a factor in our brains decades later?

I had a 2nd awful experience a year later when I was 18. I agreed to go to a downtown Halloween celebration kind of on a date. A bunch of us met at this guy's house, changed into costume, and headed out. A bit after midnight, everyone separated and I went back to this guy's house and changed. I tried to leave and he wouldn't let me. No one else was there that I could call out to help me. He locked me in his bedroom and tried to pressure me into sex. I refused. I knew he had done some drugs and I was absolutely not interested, but now scared that he was off his rocker.

He started punching me in my face and head so hard, he knocked me off the bed onto the floor. I internally started freaking out, since I was being held captive. I could tell he wanted to force things on me, but he wanted me to relent and agree. Finally, he reached in the top drawer of his dresser, pulled out a gun, slowly loaded it, cocked it, pointed it at my head then laughed and said " You think I'm going to kill you, don't you?".

OMG, I was this nice girl, taking calculus with my freshman college friends, a recent girl scout who was volunteering with mentally disabled adult women, and now I was silently freaking out inside, wishing I could will my dad to come to the bedroom window and rescue me. I kept dreaming this guy's roommate would come home so I could yell out for someone to save me. It went on for 5 hours and he wasn't going to stop.

I finally realized my only way out was to use my wits. So I started acting. I pretended I wanted to date him. I told him I was sorry we had this fight and I wanted to make it up to him, but I needed to go home and sleep first. I said I hated to start out our "relationship" this way. He bought it! He told me he would let me go, but don't ever do this to him again. I grabbed my bag, could not believe it as he let me walk out of his bedroom door then out his front door. I got in my car. It was a stick shift. My legs were shaking so badly I could barely operate the car.

I made it home, and for the next year I was ashamed at what happened and unable to speak to anyone except my mother. After a year, I realized I was in a bad place, and made a plan to heal myself. I decided I would practice talking to people, starting with the public librarian, exchanging pleasantries as I checked out books, then to a few classmates to start a math study group. Two years later, when I was 20, I met a guy in my classes who I started dating, and I guess I pulled out of my PTSD, or whatever I was in.

People might say, why didn't I call the police. Well, I knew it would be his word against my word. And I honestly feared it would probably not be enough evidence to make a difference, but it would anger him and he would likely kill me.

10 years later, I was driving by a store parking lot, pulled in, and something just popped into my head. My god, he raped me! I had never assigned that word to what he did to me, nor what the guy who drove me to the deserted parking lot had done to me. I had always blamed myself for getting into both situations.

Years later, when the internet came around, I looked this guy up. He had a restraining order filed by a woman and he was now a real estate agent. Oh boy, that triggered me, can you imagine what he might have done to a client wanting to see a house. I was conflicted on contacting his broker, but if I had seen he had an active violent charge I would have contacted the DA.

Thank god, I did not get pregnant in either situation. When I hear people who are against abortion say women should just keep their legs crossed if they don't want to get pregnant, I get physically angry. I can't imagine being forced to have a child with either of these two violent monsters. Or subject a baby to being the child of such a horrible "father".

My understanding is with all women who have found themselves in these positions and who "relented" (as the idiot PP termed it). I get you. We were kidnapped (thank you to another PP, I never framed it that way, but yes we were kidnapped). We were helpless. And we were raped. And we survived to live another day.[/quote]

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