Boyfriend told me to “shut the F up”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, that's awful.

I've been married to my wife for twenty years and have never, ever said that to her. To me, it's s deep sign of disrespect.

+1

[Anonymous]

Run, OP. It's time to get out of this relationship.

[Anonymous]

According to DCUM, American Idol judges getting abused:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VVFowwrjJo4

Perhaps your BF should date Sophie Powers?

[Anonymous]

NP here. I didn’t read all of the replies, but I can state flatly that I would never dream of saying anything remotely like this to my DH and we’ve been married for 18 years. He has also never used language like this towards me either. Ever.

OP, This man is a loser and you deserve better. His language was abusive to you and there is no excuse.

[Anonymous]

DH and I would never speak to each other like that. Married 26 years. We don't ask if it's OK to offer an opinion, either.

My ex spoke like that regularly, along with indicating that I was too stupid to know anything about whatever topic. I left. I'm worth more than that.

[Anonymous]

Break up

[Anonymous]

I’ve never had anyone in my life tell me that, certainly not a guy I was dating and most certainly not my DH. I’ve also never said it to my DH and neither of us have ever said it to our kids (who drive us nuts sometimes but we do our best not to yell).

Deep down, this guy thinks this behavior is ok. That’s bad news. You can find a faithful, wonderful man who doesn’t yell. You only live once, and you have a history of abuse. Make it a priority to surround yourself with kind, self-assured people who don’t resort to swearing and violence, whether drunk or not. In vino veritas. This is who he is.

[Anonymous]

OP, something about post is ringing a bell. Your BF didn’t accidentally stab himself with a knife and blame you, right? I’m thinking of a prior thread.

[Anonymous]

We’ve been together almost 30 years and had our share of vehement arguments, but neither of us have ever said anything like this to each other. Don’t make excuses for his behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No big deal. This is how people talk in my world. We are real people, not p*ssies.

You, I like

Y'all must be related to diddy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No big deal. This is how people talk in my world. We are real people, not p*ssies.

You, I like

Y'all must be related to diddy

So now a single swear = chronic sexual abuse and criminal activity. Good lord...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never had anyone in my life tell me that, certainly not a guy I was dating and most certainly not my DH. I’ve also never said it to my DH and neither of us have ever said it to our kids (who drive us nuts sometimes but we do our best not to yell).

Deep down, this guy thinks this behavior is ok. That’s bad news. You can find a faithful, wonderful man who doesn’t yell. You only live once, and you have a history of abuse. Make it a priority to surround yourself with kind, self-assured people who don’t resort to swearing and violence, whether drunk or not. In vino veritas. This is who he is.

Yes, this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never had anyone in my life tell me that, certainly not a guy I was dating and most certainly not my DH. I’ve also never said it to my DH and neither of us have ever said it to our kids (who drive us nuts sometimes but we do our best not to yell).

Deep down, this guy thinks this behavior is ok. That’s bad news. You can find a faithful, wonderful man who doesn’t yell. You only live once, and you have a history of abuse. Make it a priority to surround yourself with kind, self-assured people who don’t resort to swearing and violence, whether drunk or not. In vino veritas. This is who he is.

Yes, this!

I mean… this.. except not because the op specifically said he didn’t yell

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never had anyone in my life tell me that, certainly not a guy I was dating and most certainly not my DH. I’ve also never said it to my DH and neither of us have ever said it to our kids (who drive us nuts sometimes but we do our best not to yell).

Deep down, this guy thinks this behavior is ok. That’s bad news. You can find a faithful, wonderful man who doesn’t yell. You only live once, and you have a history of abuse. Make it a priority to surround yourself with kind, self-assured people who don’t resort to swearing and violence, whether drunk or not. In vino veritas. This is who he is.

Yes, this!

I mean… this.. except not because the op specifically said he didn’t yell

The whole message is on point though. Find a good man who doesn’t swear at you whether drunk or not. We set the bar for how we want to be treated. When you allow men to speak to you lie garbage, they will continue to do so.

[Anonymous]

People with a history of abuse often struggle to know the difference between what is normal and acceptable and what is wrong and unacceptable. Op, you must be struggling with that because you posted here looking for advice. Many posters, who have been married long term and those who possess strong boundaries and standards for their relationships, have advised you that what your bf said is unacceptable and, potentially, a red flag. You are doubting his intentions because of *how his words and actions made you feel*. This alone is grounds for walking away. You never needed our advice, you only have to listen to yourself.