If you went to top schools but your kids are attending a lower tier, are you worried about downward mobility?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pardon my typos, this poster has me stunned and that isn’t easy to do on here.

Seriously, I’ve seen many ridiculous posts and had many laughs, but this is just depressing and baffling

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:As a mother, I believe in giving my child every opportunity to succeed. If they chose a path that didn’t lead to a university at least on par with George Washington University, I would seriously consider medically assisted death, because without that chance, life would lose its meaning for both of us.

I really hope this is sarcasm.

I understand why you’d think that, but it’s not sarcasm. As a mother, I feel deeply responsible for my child’s future, and if they chose not to pursue a top-tier education, it would feel like losing everything. It’s extreme, but the weight of that disappointment could be overwhelming.

Fair enough, your kid’s going to need a high paying job to pay for therapy.

You’re missing the point. It’s not about the money or therapy, it’s about providing the best for my child and making sure they don’t settle for anything less than their potential. If you can’t understand that drive, maybe it’s you who needs to rethink what’s really important in life.

Would it be okay if they used their max potential and chose to become an incredible teacher that impacted thousands of children in profound ways, lived in a humble home they loved and were very happy and content? Or pick any other career that adds to humanity.

What’s really important in life as you said is not that, it’s health, financial security to live decently, and hopefully a lot of love and laughs with the people around you.

To me, it’s about being great not just being content. If my child’s potential is wasted, I can’t accept it. I believe in pushing and that’s what would matter most to me. If they’re not doing that, what’s the point

Potential and greatness in your approved areas only clearly. Man I feel sorry for your kid.

I can’t wait til her kid tries an improv class and decides to become a comedy writer.

At least they’ll have a lot of material from their childhood to draw from.

If they waste their life on something like that, I won’t be around to see it. I want them to have something meaningful, not just material for jokes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child in an Ivy I didn't worry about living up to their potential, they were intrinsically motivated from an early age beyond what I could have possible imagined for them.

But did they? How do you know? My daughter has a friend with rich IVY league educated parents. Shocking to me they told all three kids they could go to an expensive IVY league school or if you go cheaper I will donate the difference to put a deserving kid through school. His oldest who is crazy smart got a full ride to a second tier school and his Dad is paying full room, board and tuition for two students to attend the University of Maryland. He choose two instate students. All three of his kids did this.

I honestly don't know if I or my kids would take a deal. But I think those three kids lived up to their potential more than any IVY league kid. But to them it is no big deal. The youngest still in HS is thinking of doing Montgomery Community college and live at home the first two years so she can give more.

I wonder if every student accepted to an IVY league had this deal what would they do. Also who would you hire?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pardon my typos, this poster has me stunned and that isn’t easy to do on here.

Seriously, I’ve seen many ridiculous posts and had many laughs, but this is just depressing and baffling

Fair enough. If they choose mediocrity, I won’t stick around to watch it. Life has to have purpose, or it’s not worth living.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:As a mother, I believe in giving my child every opportunity to succeed. If they chose a path that didn’t lead to a university at least on par with George Washington University, I would seriously consider medically assisted death, because without that chance, life would lose its meaning for both of us.

I really hope this is sarcasm.

I understand why you’d think that, but it’s not sarcasm. As a mother, I feel deeply responsible for my child’s future, and if they chose not to pursue a top-tier education, it would feel like losing everything. It’s extreme, but the weight of that disappointment could be overwhelming.

Fair enough, your kid’s going to need a high paying job to pay for therapy.

You’re missing the point. It’s not about the money or therapy, it’s about providing the best for my child and making sure they don’t settle for anything less than their potential. If you can’t understand that drive, maybe it’s you who needs to rethink what’s really important in life.

Would it be okay if they used their max potential and chose to become an incredible teacher that impacted thousands of children in profound ways, lived in a humble home they loved and were very happy and content? Or pick any other career that adds to humanity.

What’s really important in life as you said is not that, it’s health, financial security to live decently, and hopefully a lot of love and laughs with the people around you.

To me, it’s about being great not just being content. If my child’s potential is wasted, I can’t accept it. I believe in pushing and that’s what would matter most to me. If they’re not doing that, what’s the point

Potential and greatness in your approved areas only clearly. Man I feel sorry for your kid.

I can’t wait til her kid tries an improv class and decides to become a comedy writer.

At least they’ll have a lot of material from their childhood to draw from.

If they waste their life on something like that, I won’t be around to see it. I want them to have something meaningful, not just material for jokes.

Seek help, I say this with empathy, this is not a way to live life with so much fear. I worry you won’t have a relationship with your child for long once they are out of your home and financially independent. It sounds like your only child, you don’t want that.

[Anonymous]

This has to be a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:As a mother, I believe in giving my child every opportunity to succeed. If they chose a path that didn’t lead to a university at least on par with George Washington University, I would seriously consider medically assisted death, because without that chance, life would lose its meaning for both of us.

I really hope this is sarcasm.

I understand why you’d think that, but it’s not sarcasm. As a mother, I feel deeply responsible for my child’s future, and if they chose not to pursue a top-tier education, it would feel like losing everything. It’s extreme, but the weight of that disappointment could be overwhelming.

Fair enough, your kid’s going to need a high paying job to pay for therapy.

You’re missing the point. It’s not about the money or therapy, it’s about providing the best for my child and making sure they don’t settle for anything less than their potential. If you can’t understand that drive, maybe it’s you who needs to rethink what’s really important in life.

Would it be okay if they used their max potential and chose to become an incredible teacher that impacted thousands of children in profound ways, lived in a humble home they loved and were very happy and content? Or pick any other career that adds to humanity.

What’s really important in life as you said is not that, it’s health, financial security to live decently, and hopefully a lot of love and laughs with the people around you.

To me, it’s about being great not just being content. If my child’s potential is wasted, I can’t accept it. I believe in pushing and that’s what would matter most to me. If they’re not doing that, what’s the point

Potential and greatness in your approved areas only clearly. Man I feel sorry for your kid.

I can’t wait til her kid tries an improv class and decides to become a comedy writer.

At least they’ll have a lot of material from their childhood to draw from.

If they waste their life on something like that, I won’t be around to see it. I want them to have something meaningful, not just material for jokes.

Define meaningful. Normally I wouldn’t care at all but given your posts I’m extremely curious what your definition is for it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:As a mother, I believe in giving my child every opportunity to succeed. If they chose a path that didn’t lead to a university at least on par with George Washington University, I would seriously consider medically assisted death, because without that chance, life would lose its meaning for both of us.

I really hope this is sarcasm.

I understand why you’d think that, but it’s not sarcasm. As a mother, I feel deeply responsible for my child’s future, and if they chose not to pursue a top-tier education, it would feel like losing everything. It’s extreme, but the weight of that disappointment could be overwhelming.

Fair enough, your kid’s going to need a high paying job to pay for therapy.

You’re missing the point. It’s not about the money or therapy, it’s about providing the best for my child and making sure they don’t settle for anything less than their potential. If you can’t understand that drive, maybe it’s you who needs to rethink what’s really important in life.

Would it be okay if they used their max potential and chose to become an incredible teacher that impacted thousands of children in profound ways, lived in a humble home they loved and were very happy and content? Or pick any other career that adds to humanity.

What’s really important in life as you said is not that, it’s health, financial security to live decently, and hopefully a lot of love and laughs with the people around you.

To me, it’s about being great not just being content. If my child’s potential is wasted, I can’t accept it. I believe in pushing and that’s what would matter most to me. If they’re not doing that, what’s the point

Potential and greatness in your approved areas only clearly. Man I feel sorry for your kid.

I can’t wait til her kid tries an improv class and decides to become a comedy writer.

At least they’ll have a lot of material from their childhood to draw from.

If they waste their life on something like that, I won’t be around to see it. I want them to have something meaningful, not just material for jokes.

Seek help, I say this with empathy, this is not a way to live life with so much fear. I worry you won’t have a relationship with your child for long once they are out of your home and financially independent. It sounds like your only child, you don’t want that.

I don’t need help, I need my child to understand the stakes. If they don’t rise to the challenge, there’s nothing left to hold onto. I’ll take my choice if it comes to that, even if it costs me a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an attorney and both my kids have learning disabilities and are ND, so I expect that they will be "downwardly mobile". As of right now, neither one of them wants to have children, so that will make their lives easier and less expensive.

For my Junior, we are working on a plan that will get him into a job that he is qualified for and that should pay well enough for a lifestyle that he can maintain. I will be able to give him some "starting out money" and I should be able to help him out financially if needed. We talk about what he could reasonably afford, the skills that he should really learn if he wants to have a better home than he can afford (e.g., carpentry), and money management.

I don't really worry about the fact that he won't make as much money as me. As long as he is happy and can support himself, I'll be happy.

I find it sad you think ND is a bad college. My cousin went to Notre Dame and is doing great, Go Irish!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mother, I believe in giving my child every opportunity to succeed. If they chose a path that didn’t lead to a university at least on par with George Washington University, I would seriously consider medically assisted death, because without that chance, life would lose its meaning for both of us.

I really hope this is sarcasm.

I understand why you’d think that, but it’s not sarcasm. As a mother, I feel deeply responsible for my child’s future, and if they chose not to pursue a top-tier education, it would feel like losing everything. It’s extreme, but the weight of that disappointment could be overwhelming.

I am the poor/ immigrant background poster. While I agree with you on the intense worry aspect and feeling responsible--I worried too--again mine are already settled at elites--but I think the other posters have a point that therapy could help. I mean this most kindly, I think you are being overdramatic about this. If your background is at all similar to mine then I really do understand a portion of the feelings and fear! However there is worry about your child and encouraging them to be their best WITHIN the framework of their true capabilities, but then there is irrational fear worry which could be significantly clouding your judgement and leading to unnecessary misplaced disappointment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an attorney and both my kids have learning disabilities and are ND, so I expect that they will be "downwardly mobile". As of right now, neither one of them wants to have children, so that will make their lives easier and less expensive.

For my Junior, we are working on a plan that will get him into a job that he is qualified for and that should pay well enough for a lifestyle that he can maintain. I will be able to give him some "starting out money" and I should be able to help him out financially if needed. We talk about what he could reasonably afford, the skills that he should really learn if he wants to have a better home than he can afford (e.g., carpentry), and money management.

I don't really worry about the fact that he won't make as much money as me. As long as he is happy and can support himself, I'll be happy.

I find it sad you think ND is a bad college. My cousin went to Notre Dame and is doing great, Go Irish!

ND = neurodivergent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am an attorney and both my kids have learning disabilities and are ND, so I expect that they will be "downwardly mobile". As of right now, neither one of them wants to have children, so that will make their lives easier and less expensive.

For my Junior, we are working on a plan that will get him into a job that he is qualified for and that should pay well enough for a lifestyle that he can maintain. I will be able to give him some "starting out money" and I should be able to help him out financially if needed. We talk about what he could reasonably afford, the skills that he should really learn if he wants to have a better home than he can afford (e.g., carpentry), and money management.

I don't really worry about the fact that he won't make as much money as me. As long as he is happy and can support himself, I'll be happy.

I find it sad you think ND is a bad college. My cousin went to Notre Dame and is doing great, Go Irish!

Poorly executed humor. You know the poster meant Neuro-divergent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mother, I believe in giving my child every opportunity to succeed. If they chose a path that didn’t lead to a university at least on par with George Washington University, I would seriously consider medically assisted death, because without that chance, life would lose its meaning for both of us.

I really hope this is sarcasm.

I understand why you’d think that, but it’s not sarcasm. As a mother, I feel deeply responsible for my child’s future, and if they chose not to pursue a top-tier education, it would feel like losing everything. It’s extreme, but the weight of that disappointment could be overwhelming.

I am the poor/ immigrant background poster. While I agree with you on the intense worry aspect and feeling responsible--I worried too--again mine are already settled at elites--but I think the other posters have a point that therapy could help. I mean this most kindly, I think you are being overdramatic about this. If your background is at all similar to mine then I really do understand a portion of the feelings and fear! However there is worry about your child and encouraging them to be their best WITHIN the framework of their true capabilities, but then there is irrational fear worry which could be significantly clouding your judgement and leading to unnecessary misplaced disappointment.

I get where you’re coming from, but therapy won’t change my core belief: without striving for excellence, life loses its meaning. I won’t let fear dictate my child’s future. If they can’t rise to the challenge, I won’t stick around for the aftermath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mother, I believe in giving my child every opportunity to succeed. If they chose a path that didn’t lead to a university at least on par with George Washington University, I would seriously consider medically assisted death, because without that chance, life would lose its meaning for both of us.

I really hope this is sarcasm.

I understand why you’d think that, but it’s not sarcasm. As a mother, I feel deeply responsible for my child’s future, and if they chose not to pursue a top-tier education, it would feel like losing everything. It’s extreme, but the weight of that disappointment could be overwhelming.

Fair enough, your kid’s going to need a high paying job to pay for therapy.

You’re missing the point. It’s not about the money or therapy, it’s about providing the best for my child and making sure they don’t settle for anything less than their potential. If you can’t understand that drive, maybe it’s you who needs to rethink what’s really important in life.

Would it be okay if they used their max potential and chose to become an incredible teacher that impacted thousands of children in profound ways, lived in a humble home they loved and were very happy and content? Or pick any other career that adds to humanity.

What’s really important in life as you said is not that, it’s health, financial security to live decently, and hopefully a lot of love and laughs with the people around you.

To me, it’s about being great not just being content. If my child’s potential is wasted, I can’t accept it. I believe in pushing and that’s what would matter most to me. If they’re not doing that, what’s the point

Potential and greatness in your approved areas only clearly. Man I feel sorry for your kid.

I can’t wait til her kid tries an improv class and decides to become a comedy writer.

At least they’ll have a lot of material from their childhood to draw from.

If they waste their life on something like that, I won’t be around to see it. I want them to have something meaningful, not just material for jokes.

Seek help, I say this with empathy, this is not a way to live life with so much fear. I worry you won’t have a relationship with your child for long once they are out of your home and financially independent. It sounds like your only child, you don’t want that.

I don’t need help, I need my child to understand the stakes. If they don’t rise to the challenge, there’s nothing left to hold onto. I’ll take my choice if it comes to that, even if it costs me a relationship.

How old is your kid now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a mother, I believe in giving my child every opportunity to succeed. If they chose a path that didn’t lead to a university at least on par with George Washington University, I would seriously consider medically assisted death, because without that chance, life would lose its meaning for both of us.

I really hope this is sarcasm.

I understand why you’d think that, but it’s not sarcasm. As a mother, I feel deeply responsible for my child’s future, and if they chose not to pursue a top-tier education, it would feel like losing everything. It’s extreme, but the weight of that disappointment could be overwhelming.

I am the poor/ immigrant background poster. While I agree with you on the intense worry aspect and feeling responsible--I worried too--again mine are already settled at elites--but I think the other posters have a point that therapy could help. I mean this most kindly, I think you are being overdramatic about this. If your background is at all similar to mine then I really do understand a portion of the feelings and fear! However there is worry about your child and encouraging them to be their best WITHIN the framework of their true capabilities, but then there is irrational fear worry which could be significantly clouding your judgement and leading to unnecessary misplaced disappointment.

This is not my life experience, but exactly this. I understand a degree of worry, but this is not normal or healthy for her or her child. It’s also probably hindering their potential as I have to believe what we’re seeing here oozes into life at home. The most successful are happy and passionate and curious and driven, not motivated by fear.