I’m 34 and I have to ask permission for my SO to stay the night….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is drip trolling, slightly modifying the story to keep the drama going.

Have to agree with this having seen her updates. Latest ones are a very different story than original post.

What did I say that was different than the original post?

I’ve consistently said that 1)i only asked about him coming not staying in the same bed 2) the younger ones have had their girlfriends come on family trips
3) they’re Christian but not religious - people were saying they were traditional. I said they’re not because of their unconventional marriage

Your original post made it seem like this was about sleeping in the same bed in a Christian house. It’s actually about inviting someone extra over to a rental house you didn’t pay for, and your aunt saying “ask your uncle like your nephews did.” It had nothing to do with their religion, nothing to do with the beds. You were trying to make it out to be something it wasnt.

No, it didn't. You just can't read.

I can read just fine.
“So knowing their no sleeping in the same bed rule, out of courtesy, I contacted my aunt ( the one who paid for the house this year) to ask if it’s okay to bring my SO just for one night (we have the house for a week).“

This did NOT say “I made sure to tell her SO would be sleeping in another room.”

Why mention religion at all? The obvious message is that aunt and uncle are religious hypocrites who are acting weird and that turns out not to be the issue at all.

You conveniently (or stupidly) left this out.
My family is Christian but not religious

"I’m 34, almost 35, and my SO is 35. Every year my family (~20) gets a beach house for the holidays. They have a rule about unmarried couples staying in the same bed…yadda yadda. Whatever, fine."

So, at no point did OP want to rock the boat with her boyfriend sleeping in the same bed with her. I would have, but she didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is drip trolling, slightly modifying the story to keep the drama going.

Have to agree with this having seen her updates. Latest ones are a very different story than original post.

What did I say that was different than the original post?

I’ve consistently said that 1)i only asked about him coming not staying in the same bed 2) the younger ones have had their girlfriends come on family trips
3) they’re Christian but not religious - people were saying they were traditional. I said they’re not because of their unconventional marriage

Your original post made it seem like this was about sleeping in the same bed in a Christian house. It’s actually about inviting someone extra over to a rental house you didn’t pay for, and your aunt saying “ask your uncle like your nephews did.” It had nothing to do with their religion, nothing to do with the beds. You were trying to make it out to be something it wasnt.

No, it didn't. You just can't read.

More dripping to keep the story going. Whatever, calling troll on this one.

I'm PP and NOT the OP. So you're not so clever with your troll name calling. Read the second paragraph if you don't believe me.

[Anonymous]

Why is your spouse treating you like a child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it's weird and I don't know if I would want to jump through all of their BS hoops as an adult, but it's their house so I think you have to ask if you want to go.

I thought it was just me. It completely turned me off. I’ll go but will only stay 2 days instead of the week and not bring my SO.

Don't go! You are 34/35. This is your long term partner (not a fling of the month). Even if there are Younger kids there, there is no reason you should not be allowed to attend and stay in same room.

If you have to ask, then just enjoy your holidays with your SO and other family and friends. They can set rules, you don't have to participate in those crazy rules (and yes being 34 in a committed relationship is very different than 19)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:They’re treating you like a child because you’re living your life like one. You are much too old to be playing house. Grow up and get married already!

Where did she say they live together "playing house"? You need to take your own advice, grow up, and learn how to read.

Also, there is nothing wrong with living together IF they are. You're just an idiot.

Sleeping together under the same roof is what husbands and wives are entitled to automatically. OP seems to be mistaken as to the religious status of her family. They have a no sleeping in the same bed rule—what does she mean they are Christian but not religious? They clearly are both Christian and religious.

I mean they’re not religious because I can’t tell you the last time they went to church, brought up God, etc. outside of the no sleeping in the same bed unmarried and praying before eating…that’s as Christian as they get.

Those two things are religious practices, and just two that you know of. If you don’t want to follow their rules then don’t go. It’s a free country!

Stop it. They’re clearly not that religious if they’re allowing 19 year old boys to bring their girlfriends to spend the night. No matter this is an overreaching power move. She’s not a child.

Their 19 year olds (also not children) would have to follow the same unmarried bed rule as her. They did it just fine somehow without calling their beloved and generous aunt/mother grieving the loss of her sister a weirdo patriarchal hypocrite. Not saying OP did but the posters in this thread.

Huge difference between 19yo and a 34 yo in a committed relationship

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My family is Christian but not religious

I’m 34, almost 35, and my SO is 35. Every year my family (~20) gets a beach house for the holidays. They have a rule about unmarried couples staying in the same bed…yadda yadda. Whatever, fine. Now, this idea to all come together was my mom and her sister’s idea - There’s 5 sisters. Unfortunately, my mom passed away three months so this season will be first holiday without her. So knowing their no sleeping in the same bed rule, out of courtesy, I contacted my aunt ( the one who paid for the house this year) to ask if it’s okay to bring my SO just for one night (we have the house for a week).

She said to ask her husband, by marriage. That, “he would love it for you to ask him. Also, all of the other nephews were required to ask him as well”. The nephews with SO are 19 years old by the way….

I honestly this is incredibly weird and off putting. I’m 34, and why do I need to defer to another man who isn’t my dad?
I had to be the black sheep and sound like a brat but this makes me not want to spend that much time there if I’m going to be treated like a child.

Am I just being a brat, or is this a pretty weird ask of my aunt?

By the way, my family met my SO last month and loved him. The uncle in question turns out is really, really close to my SO’s family, so this isn’t because they dislike him.

why are you staying here? You're 34! You and SO get a place close by and visit family on the day. My grandmother had this rule but only in homes she owned but she is very religious. Even her cousin in his 70s who brought his GF wasn't able to sleep in the same room. We all knew the rule growing up, although she's even older now 90s and doesn't care anymore. People who didn't want to follow the rule rented a place close-by or stay with my aunt/uncle who have homes close to my grandmother and could care less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't stay there. Because I'd refuse to ask. I'm a grown woman. I'm not going to ask a man permission to sleep with whoever I want to. (Except the man I want to sleep with.)

But OP was invited as a guest.
And as a guest, you don’t just show up to someone else’s place that they rented and invited you to with your own guest unless you’ve specifically asked the host if it’s okay.
And the aunt is telling OP that her husband is the host (probably because he paid and it’s his thing to say yes or no to) It’s not even a matter of sleeping arrangements or age—it’s basic etiquette for ANY guest to follow. You don’t get to just add more people to a party or gathering that you are not hosting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obey the rules, get married or get your own house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can be right or you can preserve the relationship. Not always an easy choice…

You spelled “be a doormat” wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just tell them he’ll be coming with you or you won’t be coming. Don’t say it as a threat, just say it matter of factly. This is your life partner and you want to spend the holidays with him.

If he’s her life partner, why don’t they get married?

Because they don’t need to. Sorry that burns your muffins for some bizarre reason.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You guys are too old to be staying in a house that someone else pays for.

Get your own house with your sisters or get a hotel room.

???

It’s a giant house that accommodates 20+ people and it’s been a family tradition and we rotate each year who pays……

Have you paid for the whole giant house?

That’s why she went to the person who paid and asked. Next question…

Wrong. She said “we” rotate. If by “we” she means her parents and not her, then she’s still a child and has to do what the aunt says. End of story.

Oh, please. Zip it, MeeMaw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You guys are too old to be staying in a house that someone else pays for.

Get your own house with your sisters or get a hotel room.

???

It’s a giant house that accommodates 20+ people and it’s been a family tradition and we rotate each year who pays……

Have you paid for the whole giant house?

That’s why she went to the person who paid and asked. Next question…

Wrong. She said “we” rotate. If by “we” she means her parents and not her, then she’s still a child and has to do what the aunt says. End of story.

No, she’s not still a child. Not paying doesn’t mean you get to treat an adult as a child. You graciously pay or you ask others to chip in. Money doesn’t give you the right to be condescending.

False. The person paying gets to do what they want. If someone doesn’t like it, they can vote with their feet (or their wallet.) OP wants to do neither and just complain and get her way.

It's not really about the rule, it's about the weird creepy "he would love to be asked" thing. Like he gets some kind of thrill out of it, and he won't authorize his wife to communicate the information.

He might have a stronger religious position on this than she does so she wants to check with him before agreeing.

JFC. So then SHE (his freaking wife) can talk to him and get back to OP. “He would love to be asked” is asinine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you want to stay in this house with such a creepy uncle?

Aunt and Uncle are paying. They have religious convictions about unmarried people sharing a bed or roof, unclear which. Aunt is asked a question that she is justifiably concerned might not go over well with husband. She says she has to check with him. How is uncle now creepy??

If you don’t like the rules - knowing in advance what their convictions are - then get a hotel room.

None of this is hard and none of it warrants name calling the uncle.

They don’t have religious convictions. They were unmarried for 20 years. That is not religious at all because they were “laying in sin”.

People change their tune over time. It’s not really relevant what they did in the past if this is their religious conviction now. And you said that they don’t allow unmarried people in the same bed.

LOL. How convenient.

[jsteele]

The original poster has repeatedly sock puppeted posts in this thread and may well be trolling.