I’m 34 and I have to ask permission for my SO to stay the night….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They’re treating you like a child because you’re living your life like one. You are much too old to be playing house. Grow up and get married already!

Where did she say they live together "playing house"? You need to take your own advice, grow up, and learn how to read.

Also, there is nothing wrong with living together IF they are. You're just an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys are too old to be staying in a house that someone else pays for.

Get your own house with your sisters or get a hotel room.

???

It’s a giant house that accommodates 20+ people and it’s been a family tradition and we rotate each year who pays……

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell them he’ll be coming with you or you won’t be coming. Don’t say it as a threat, just say it matter of factly. This is your life partner and you want to spend the holidays with him.

He isn’t her life partner. He made no such declaration.

[Anonymous]

I mean, yeah ... it's a ridiculous vestige of the patriarchy. But you know your own family culture and can choose to hang out with these folks or not. Why not just skip it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I mean, yeah ... it's a ridiculous vestige of the patriarchy. But you know your own family culture and can choose to hang out with these folks or not. Why not just skip it?

Yea, I’m definitely not going to stay that long. Plus, I know I was going to be asked to do a good portion of cooking (I did Thanksgiving), so no thank you.

I won’t skip it altogether because 1) Christmas is my dad’s birthday and he’ll be there 2)just out of respect for my mom; she would’ve wanted me there at least some of the time. My mom was so excited and picked out the house last spring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re treating you like a child because you’re living your life like one. You are much too old to be playing house. Grow up and get married already!

Where did she say they live together "playing house"? You need to take your own advice, grow up, and learn how to read.

Also, there is nothing wrong with living together IF they are. You're just an idiot.

Sleeping together under the same roof is what husbands and wives are entitled to automatically. OP seems to be mistaken as to the religious status of her family. They have a no sleeping in the same bed rule—what does she mean they are Christian but not religious? They clearly are both Christian and religious.

[Anonymous]

I would stay in a hotel if I attended with my SO. At 34 I would not ask an aunt’s permission to have my SO in my room. But then I wouldn’t ask my parents either. You are halfway to 68…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re treating you like a child because you’re living your life like one. You are much too old to be playing house. Grow up and get married already!

Where did she say they live together "playing house"? You need to take your own advice, grow up, and learn how to read.

Also, there is nothing wrong with living together IF they are. You're just an idiot.

Sleeping together under the same roof is what husbands and wives are entitled to automatically. OP seems to be mistaken as to the religious status of her family. They have a no sleeping in the same bed rule—what does she mean they are Christian but not religious? They clearly are both Christian and religious.

I mean they’re not religious because I can’t tell you the last time they went to church, brought up God, etc. outside of the no sleeping in the same bed unmarried and praying before eating…that’s as Christian as they get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would stay in a hotel if I attended with my SO. At 34 I would not ask an aunt’s permission to have my SO in my room. But then I wouldn’t ask my parents either. You are halfway to 68…

That’s the thing - I didn’t even ask if he could stay in the room. This getting permission my uncle is just for him to even come

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re treating you like a child because you’re living your life like one. You are much too old to be playing house. Grow up and get married already!

Where did she say they live together "playing house"? You need to take your own advice, grow up, and learn how to read.

Also, there is nothing wrong with living together IF they are. You're just an idiot.

Sleeping together under the same roof is what husbands and wives are entitled to automatically. OP seems to be mistaken as to the religious status of her family. They have a no sleeping in the same bed rule—what does she mean they are Christian but not religious? They clearly are both Christian and religious.

I mean they’re not religious because I can’t tell you the last time they went to church, brought up God, etc. outside of the no sleeping in the same bed unmarried and praying before eating…that’s as Christian as they get.

Those two things are religious practices, and just two that you know of. If you don’t want to follow their rules then don’t go. It’s a free country!

[Anonymous]

It wouldn't be a problem for me if they're generally pleasant people.

Because with such people, unmarried people that are of a younger generation than theirs are categorized as "young", with fewer rights than the Smug Marrieds. There is no "+1" in such a household if you're not joined at the hip. You need to ask permission of the host. The hosts are two people, and you need to ask one of them in particular, since apparently the other defers to him. Here it happens to be the man of the house.

I know this smacks of patriarchy and misogyny (because it IS), but honestly I can see their point of view. It's old-fashioned, but there's a logic to it: they want to encourage marriage and stability and don't particularly appreciate a revolving door of casual girlfriends or boyfriends in their home.

If your boyfriend was a long-term partner, you'd do well to push back, and explain that you are committed to each other and will share a bed, even if you have personal reasons to reject the sacrament of marriage. But you only introduced him to your family last month. To the world, this is a casual boyfriend, and they will rightfully treat him as such: courteously, but at arms' length.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re treating you like a child because you’re living your life like one. You are much too old to be playing house. Grow up and get married already!

Where did she say they live together "playing house"? You need to take your own advice, grow up, and learn how to read.

Also, there is nothing wrong with living together IF they are. You're just an idiot.

Sleeping together under the same roof is what husbands and wives are entitled to automatically. OP seems to be mistaken as to the religious status of her family. They have a no sleeping in the same bed rule—what does she mean they are Christian but not religious? They clearly are both Christian and religious.

In THEIR house, perhaps. But OP already said that rule is not a problem for her. It's the instance asking of the uncle that she feels is ridiculous. Also, what does that have to do with your original, asinine statement to "grow up and get married." Are you assuming that OP is as religious as her family or you? Why should everyone live according to your values? Why do you feel the need to insult people who do not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re treating you like a child because you’re living your life like one. You are much too old to be playing house. Grow up and get married already!

Where did she say they live together "playing house"? You need to take your own advice, grow up, and learn how to read.

Also, there is nothing wrong with living together IF they are. You're just an idiot.

Sleeping together under the same roof is what husbands and wives are entitled to automatically. OP seems to be mistaken as to the religious status of her family. They have a no sleeping in the same bed rule—what does she mean they are Christian but not religious? They clearly are both Christian and religious.

I mean they’re not religious because I can’t tell you the last time they went to church, brought up God, etc. outside of the no sleeping in the same bed unmarried and praying before eating…that’s as Christian as they get.

Don't bother with this poster. She is a moron.

[Anonymous]

Who is paying for the house?

You know the Golden Rule, right? He/She who has the Gold, makes the rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re treating you like a child because you’re living your life like one. You are much too old to be playing house. Grow up and get married already!

Where did she say they live together "playing house"? You need to take your own advice, grow up, and learn how to read.

Also, there is nothing wrong with living together IF they are. You're just an idiot.

Sleeping together under the same roof is what husbands and wives are entitled to automatically. OP seems to be mistaken as to the religious status of her family. They have a no sleeping in the same bed rule—what does she mean they are Christian but not religious? They clearly are both Christian and religious.

I mean they’re not religious because I can’t tell you the last time they went to church, brought up God, etc. outside of the no sleeping in the same bed unmarried and praying before eating…that’s as Christian as they get.

Those two things are religious practices, and just two that you know of. If you don’t want to follow their rules then don’t go. It’s a free country!

Stop it. They’re clearly not that religious if they’re allowing 19 year old boys to bring their girlfriends to spend the night. No matter this is an overreaching power move. She’s not a child.