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I’m 34 and I have to ask permission for my SO to stay the night….
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Anonymous
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My family is Christian but not religious
I’m 34, almost 35, and my SO is 35. Every year my family (~20) gets a beach house for the holidays. They have a rule about unmarried couples staying in the same bed…yadda yadda. Whatever, fine. Now, this idea to all come together was my mom and her sister’s idea - There’s 5 sisters. Unfortunately, my mom passed away three months so this season will be first holiday without her. So knowing their no sleeping in the same bed rule, out of courtesy, I contacted my aunt ( the one who paid for the house this year) to ask if it’s okay to bring my SO just for one night (we have the house for a week). She said to ask her husband, by marriage. That, “he would love it for you to ask him. Also, all of the other nephews were required to ask him as well”. The nephews with SO are 19 years old by the way…. I honestly this is incredibly weird and off putting. I’m 34, and why do I need to defer to another man who isn’t my dad? I had to be the black sheep and sound like a brat but this makes me not want to spend that much time there if I’m going to be treated like a child. Am I just being a brat, or is this a pretty weird ask of my aunt? By the way, my family met my SO last month and loved him. The uncle in question turns out is really, really close to my SO’s family, so this isn’t because they dislike him. |
Anonymous
| you are weird. |
Anonymous
| Yes, it's weird and I don't know if I would want to jump through all of their BS hoops as an adult, but it's their house so I think you have to ask if you want to go. |
Anonymous
No she is not. It's weird to treat her like a teenager. |
Anonymous
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I come from a conservative background (parents had arranged marriages, all my girl cousins were virgins until marriage etc etc) and even I think this is weird. Most families or cultures ease these types of rules as the older generations that enforced them die out or the children become grown adults. Your aunt sounds annoying...as if she is establishing some matriarch identity.
Sorry to be so negative about your family! |
Anonymous
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At 34 knowing the rules of your family I wouldn't ask. Get your own place for the two of you. |
Anonymous
| Just tell them he’ll be coming with you or you won’t be coming. Don’t say it as a threat, just say it matter of factly. This is your life partner and you want to spend the holidays with him. |
Anonymous
I thought it was just me. It completely turned me off. I’ll go but will only stay 2 days instead of the week and not bring my SO. |
Anonymous
| I don't think it's weird having to ask to bring a guest to a family event, but is weird to be getting into such detail about the sleeping arrangements. I would just ask my aunt to find out and let you know. I wouldn't go asking some old dude. And if she won't do that, I would say "ok, I guess we're not welcome" and then decide to go alone or not. |
Anonymous
| I wouldn't stay somewhere I'd be treated like a child. Have fun everyone else, I'm either not joining, or staying at a different resort. |
Anonymous
i think that's a wise decision. |
Anonymous
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You guys are too old to be staying in a house that someone else pays for.
Get your own house with your sisters or get a hotel room. |
Anonymous
| They’re treating you like a child because you’re living your life like one. You are much too old to be playing house. Grow up and get married already! |
Anonymous
| I wouldn't stay there. Because I'd refuse to ask. I'm a grown woman. I'm not going to ask a man permission to sleep with whoever I want to. (Except the man I want to sleep with.) |
Anonymous
| At least they’re getting you a room and not leaving you in a sleeping bag in the kids room/living room. |