Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sympathies. I can beat you! Dh and I are both in a wedding. Our kids are flower girls. And they aren’t invited to the wedding. Our baby isn’t invited at all. It’s insanity trying to figure this out. We basically have a series of babysitters working long hours. And the baby is headed hours away to grandparents. It kills me that they’re invited to the rehearsal but not the rehearsal dinner. Don’t they realize how impossible this is for parents? The reason they aren’t invited to the reception is cost and because everyone has kids, which I get. But our girls are pretty devastated at not getting to go. I sit then down before every meeting and forbid them from mentioning it at all. We aren’t local to the wedding.

I too had a childfree wedding but we also didn’t know any kids. Our flower girl did come.

So the couple get the cute shot of the flower girls walking down the aisle and then their services are no longer needed.

Your friends are terrible people.

This is insanity. I would not participate in this.

So rude of the wedding couple. How can you invite someone (yes,even a kid) to be in the wedding party and not invite them to the wedding and receptions/rehearsal dinners! That is tacky and straight up crazy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I prefer child free weddings but we also have a great support system nearby so getting help to watch DS is never an issue.

Most people in the DC area don't have this.

I disagree. My cousin is a wedding planner in the DC area, and their group's experience is that most weddings are in fact child-free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we had a child free wedding, and hired babysitters to watch the kids for the duration of the wedding and reception because we knew folks were coming out of their way to come to our wedding and some entire families were coming. i don't think its fair to have a child free wedding without offering a support - especially if folks are traveling - at least with the baby sitter set up families can spend their mornings together, do some sort of pre-date night routine, etc.

personally, looking back, i would have loved to have had the kids there (growing up all the weddings were come one come all -but may be an ethnicity thing - weddings are family events, and we want families to be there) but it was a numbers issue - we just didn't have the funds to pay for all the kids to have a seat at the time and babysitters were our compromise.

Was it really a money issue for you? When I got married, kids’ meals were about $10 while adult meals were about $30. It seems like paying for babysitters would be about the same.

Hahaha! Did you get married in the 70s or middle of nowhere? I got married 11 years ago and kids plates were $50 each (adult plast were ~$150). Not to mention inviting all the kids of multiple cousins would have meant choosing a venue far out of town (adding to logistic planning and cost) or not having any of our actual friends attend the wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sympathies. I can beat you! Dh and I are both in a wedding. Our kids are flower girls. And they aren’t invited to the wedding. Our baby isn’t invited at all. It’s insanity trying to figure this out. We basically have a series of babysitters working long hours. And the baby is headed hours away to grandparents. It kills me that they’re invited to the rehearsal but not the rehearsal dinner. Don’t they realize how impossible this is for parents? The reason they aren’t invited to the reception is cost and because everyone has kids, which I get. But our girls are pretty devastated at not getting to go. I sit then down before every meeting and forbid them from mentioning it at all. We aren’t local to the wedding.

I too had a childfree wedding but we also didn’t know any kids. Our flower girl did come.

This is one of the rudest things I can imagine for a wedding! Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sympathies. I can beat you! Dh and I are both in a wedding. Our kids are flower girls. And they aren’t invited to the wedding. Our baby isn’t invited at all. It’s insanity trying to figure this out. We basically have a series of babysitters working long hours. And the baby is headed hours away to grandparents. It kills me that they’re invited to the rehearsal but not the rehearsal dinner. Don’t they realize how impossible this is for parents? The reason they aren’t invited to the reception is cost and because everyone has kids, which I get. But our girls are pretty devastated at not getting to go. I sit then down before every meeting and forbid them from mentioning it at all. We aren’t local to the wedding.

I too had a childfree wedding but we also didn’t know any kids. Our flower girl did come.

That's just rude. Children who are IN the wedding should be invited to the rehearsal dinner and the reception. These people are a-holes.

I will admit that we had a wedding to which only related children were invited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we had a child free wedding, and hired babysitters to watch the kids for the duration of the wedding and reception because we knew folks were coming out of their way to come to our wedding and some entire families were coming. i don't think its fair to have a child free wedding without offering a support - especially if folks are traveling - at least with the baby sitter set up families can spend their mornings together, do some sort of pre-date night routine, etc.

personally, looking back, i would have loved to have had the kids there (growing up all the weddings were come one come all -but may be an ethnicity thing - weddings are family events, and we want families to be there) but it was a numbers issue - we just didn't have the funds to pay for all the kids to have a seat at the time and babysitters were our compromise.

Was it really a money issue for you? When I got married, kids’ meals were about $10 while adult meals were about $30. It seems like paying for babysitters would be about the same.

Hahaha! Did you get married in the 70s or middle of nowhere? I got married 11 years ago and kids plates were $50 each (adult plast were ~$150). Not to mention inviting all the kids of multiple cousins would have meant choosing a venue far out of town (adding to logistic planning and cost) or not having any of our actual friends attend the wedding.

I got married in DC 15 years ago and our kids plates were $85. It was painful! The most expensive macaroni and cheese I’ve ever paid for in my whole life.

[Anonymous]

When all of our friends were getting married (and most of us were traveling to the wedding), many of them provided babysitters. Like the kids were invited to the ceremony and then shuffled off to a hotel room with babysitters, pizzas, and usually a dance party and/or movie so the adults could enjoy the grown up party. Most of the time one of us would leave the big party early to get the kids to bed while the other one (the one who knew the people getting married/other guests better) stayed a bit longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When all of our friends were getting married (and most of us were traveling to the wedding), many of them provided babysitters. Like the kids were invited to the ceremony and then shuffled off to a hotel room with babysitters, pizzas, and usually a dance party and/or movie so the adults could enjoy the grown up party. Most of the time one of us would leave the big party early to get the kids to bed while the other one (the one who knew the people getting married/other guests better) stayed a bit longer.

This makes the most sense.

[Anonymous]

To those asking why on parent doesn’t go alone- I’d never do this. I really enjoy being with Dh, dancing too. I especially wouldn’t travel to a wedding and stay in a hotel by myself. It wouldn’t be enjoyable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To those asking why on parent doesn’t go alone- I’d never do this. I really enjoy being with Dh, dancing too. I especially wouldn’t travel to a wedding and stay in a hotel by myself. It wouldn’t be enjoyable.

Ok so you're codependent. Not everyone is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we had a child free wedding, and hired babysitters to watch the kids for the duration of the wedding and reception because we knew folks were coming out of their way to come to our wedding and some entire families were coming. i don't think its fair to have a child free wedding without offering a support - especially if folks are traveling - at least with the baby sitter set up families can spend their mornings together, do some sort of pre-date night routine, etc.

personally, looking back, i would have loved to have had the kids there (growing up all the weddings were come one come all -but may be an ethnicity thing - weddings are family events, and we want families to be there) but it was a numbers issue - we just didn't have the funds to pay for all the kids to have a seat at the time and babysitters were our compromise.

Was it really a money issue for you? When I got married, kids’ meals were about $10 while adult meals were about $30. It seems like paying for babysitters would be about the same.

Hahaha! Did you get married in the 70s or middle of nowhere? I got married 11 years ago and kids plates were $50 each (adult plast were ~$150). Not to mention inviting all the kids of multiple cousins would have meant choosing a venue far out of town (adding to logistic planning and cost) or not having any of our actual friends attend the wedding.

You were screwed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been attending weddings for 20 years and this is the 2nd to 5th time I've been invited to child-free weddings. I don't get it. At least for one wedding we know we're one of only 2 people with kids in the family. It's just so off putting. I'd frankly rather not be invited.

I can't imagine wasting the mental energy being upset about this. Sounds like they'd frankly rather you not come.

[Anonymous]

The entitlement of parents on this thread is mind blowing.

It's THEIR wedding. Their day to celebrate their marriage. They are paying for the venue and the food and the drinks and everything else which mean the decision as to who is invited is 100% up to them.

How can someone really be so selfish that they feel like they get to dictate how someone else manages the invitations to their own wedding? Nobody except other parents enjoys dealing with little crotch goblins running around and screaming and disrupting everything, and even then they probably only like it when it's their own kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"no kids" has become such a tell. This is the signal for someone's bridezilla fantasy, and should be taken as a warning. It's not about getting married, it's about having a wedding. Eww.

What on earth does have someone's children at a wedding have to do with marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To those asking why on parent doesn’t go alone- I’d never do this. I really enjoy being with Dh, dancing too. I especially wouldn’t travel to a wedding and stay in a hotel by myself. It wouldn’t be enjoyable.

Well, I mean sure, to each their own. To me as an occasional thing, it’s bliss.