How often are you having sex lately?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do people really count the number of times they have sex every week? And is it really that stable?

It's not hard to count to zero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people really count the number of times they have sex every week? And is it really that stable?

It's not hard to count to zero.

This. For all of us in the "very little sex" category, it's not that hard to keep track. lol

[Anonymous]

DH and I (both in our 40s, two young kids) were on a roughly 1x/10 days schedule but committed in the least sexy way to 2x/week by scheduling it (we know which two days per week it's happening). It's worked out surprisingly well. Where previously we'd stay up too late watching tv or scrolling our phones or reading in bed and then I'd want to go to sleep, and he'd be annoyed because it would never happen (and I was more or less ok with it), now I mentally get in the mood and am happier doing it as a result.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I (both in our 40s, two young kids) were on a roughly 1x/10 days schedule but committed in the least sexy way to 2x/week by scheduling it (we know which two days per week it's happening). It's worked out surprisingly well. Where previously we'd stay up too late watching tv or scrolling our phones or reading in bed and then I'd want to go to sleep, and he'd be annoyed because it would never happen (and I was more or less ok with it), now I mentally get in the mood and am happier doing it as a result.

Same age with 4 kids. We always plan on Sunday and that has really worked out as it’s become our time. We also do our best for one other night during the week and that’s always more spontaneous. When I read others say 4-5 times a week I wonder how?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I (both in our 40s, two young kids) were on a roughly 1x/10 days schedule but committed in the least sexy way to 2x/week by scheduling it (we know which two days per week it's happening). It's worked out surprisingly well. Where previously we'd stay up too late watching tv or scrolling our phones or reading in bed and then I'd want to go to sleep, and he'd be annoyed because it would never happen (and I was more or less ok with it), now I mentally get in the mood and am happier doing it as a result.

Same age with 4 kids. We always plan on Sunday and that has really worked out as it’s become our time. We also do our best for one other night during the week and that’s always more spontaneous. When I read others say 4-5 times a week I wonder how?

You make time if it’s important, and you make excuses if it isn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I (both in our 40s, two young kids) were on a roughly 1x/10 days schedule but committed in the least sexy way to 2x/week by scheduling it (we know which two days per week it's happening). It's worked out surprisingly well. Where previously we'd stay up too late watching tv or scrolling our phones or reading in bed and then I'd want to go to sleep, and he'd be annoyed because it would never happen (and I was more or less ok with it), now I mentally get in the mood and am happier doing it as a result.

Generally speaking, this is the one/only solution to a lasting marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I (both in our 40s, two young kids) were on a roughly 1x/10 days schedule but committed in the least sexy way to 2x/week by scheduling it (we know which two days per week it's happening). It's worked out surprisingly well. Where previously we'd stay up too late watching tv or scrolling our phones or reading in bed and then I'd want to go to sleep, and he'd be annoyed because it would never happen (and I was more or less ok with it), now I mentally get in the mood and am happier doing it as a result.

Generally speaking, this is the one/only solution to a lasting marriage.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Late 40s. 2x a month. We were down to 4-6x a year, and often months with nothing when we were early 40s. Almost divorced over it. Not exactly sure why things improved but they did. I am here to offer some hope that things can improve. I was one of those people on this board who was convinced a dead bedroom was irreversible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Late 40s. 2x a month. We were down to 4-6x a year, and often months with nothing when we were early 40s. Almost divorced over it. Not exactly sure why things improved but they did. I am here to offer some hope that things can improve. I was one of those people on this board who was convinced a dead bedroom was irreversible.

Did something else change? Kids get older? Less stress at work? Just more time to relax?

It became a big point of contention and is now a lot better for us, but it was a “big deal” and there was a lot of discussion/navigating the difference. I have a very high libido and want it almost every day, he thinks that’s insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Late 40s. 2x a month. We were down to 4-6x a year, and often months with nothing when we were early 40s. Almost divorced over it. Not exactly sure why things improved but they did. I am here to offer some hope that things can improve. I was one of those people on this board who was convinced a dead bedroom was irreversible.

Did something else change? Kids get older? Less stress at work? Just more time to relax?

It became a big point of contention and is now a lot better for us, but it was a “big deal” and there was a lot of discussion/navigating the difference. I have a very high libido and want it almost every day, he thinks that’s insane.

Not the pp. We also have a libido imbalance. We’re in our 50s with grown children and jobs, both out of the house. We’re having intense sex 2 to 3 times per week. We have it a variety of ways, sometimes with role playing. She’s vocal and reaches orgasm fairly fast. She gets into it.
Despite being seemingly satisfied sexually, she has hardly any underlying sex drive. The next day she can take it or leave it, whereas I always want it. She says I have to initiate.
Is anyone else like this? Sexually responsive but not necessarily sexually driven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I (both in our 40s, two young kids) were on a roughly 1x/10 days schedule but committed in the least sexy way to 2x/week by scheduling it (we know which two days per week it's happening). It's worked out surprisingly well. Where previously we'd stay up too late watching tv or scrolling our phones or reading in bed and then I'd want to go to sleep, and he'd be annoyed because it would never happen (and I was more or less ok with it), now I mentally get in the mood and am happier doing it as a result.

Amazing what making it a priority can do for your desire and interest, isn’t it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Late 40s. 2x a month. We were down to 4-6x a year, and often months with nothing when we were early 40s. Almost divorced over it. Not exactly sure why things improved but they did. I am here to offer some hope that things can improve. I was one of those people on this board who was convinced a dead bedroom was irreversible.

Did something else change? Kids get older? Less stress at work? Just more time to relax?

It became a big point of contention and is now a lot better for us, but it was a “big deal” and there was a lot of discussion/navigating the difference. I have a very high libido and want it almost every day, he thinks that’s insane.

Not the pp. We also have a libido imbalance. We’re in our 50s with grown children and jobs, both out of the house. We’re having intense sex 2 to 3 times per week. We have it a variety of ways, sometimes with role playing. She’s vocal and reaches orgasm fairly fast. She gets into it.
Despite being seemingly satisfied sexually, she has hardly any underlying sex drive. The next day she can take it or leave it, whereas I always want it. She says I have to initiate.
Is anyone else like this? Sexually responsive but not necessarily sexually driven.

Yes, about 50% of the global population. It's the gender known as "women".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Late 40s. 2x a month. We were down to 4-6x a year, and often months with nothing when we were early 40s. Almost divorced over it. Not exactly sure why things improved but they did. I am here to offer some hope that things can improve. I was one of those people on this board who was convinced a dead bedroom was irreversible.

Did something else change? Kids get older? Less stress at work? Just more time to relax?

It became a big point of contention and is now a lot better for us, but it was a “big deal” and there was a lot of discussion/navigating the difference. I have a very high libido and want it almost every day, he thinks that’s insane.

Not the pp. We also have a libido imbalance. We’re in our 50s with grown children and jobs, both out of the house. We’re having intense sex 2 to 3 times per week. We have it a variety of ways, sometimes with role playing. She’s vocal and reaches orgasm fairly fast. She gets into it.
Despite being seemingly satisfied sexually, she has hardly any underlying sex drive. The next day she can take it or leave it, whereas I always want it. She says I have to initiate.
Is anyone else like this? Sexually responsive but not necessarily sexually driven.

If you're in your 50s and having sex like that 2-3 times per week she has an outstanding libido relative to other women her age.

It seems many women go beyond just not needing sex - they put effort into avoiding it.

[Anonymous]

I’m 59. DW 54. Average 1 to 2 times per week. Married 29 years. Both gained about 15 lbs during that period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Late 40s. 2x a month. We were down to 4-6x a year, and often months with nothing when we were early 40s. Almost divorced over it. Not exactly sure why things improved but they did. I am here to offer some hope that things can improve. I was one of those people on this board who was convinced a dead bedroom was irreversible.

Did something else change? Kids get older? Less stress at work? Just more time to relax?

It became a big point of contention and is now a lot better for us, but it was a “big deal” and there was a lot of discussion/navigating the difference. I have a very high libido and want it almost every day, he thinks that’s insane.

Not the pp. We also have a libido imbalance. We’re in our 50s with grown children and jobs, both out of the house. We’re having intense sex 2 to 3 times per week. We have it a variety of ways, sometimes with role playing. She’s vocal and reaches orgasm fairly fast. She gets into it.
Despite being seemingly satisfied sexually, she has hardly any underlying sex drive. The next day she can take it or leave it, whereas I always want it. She says I have to initiate.
Is anyone else like this? Sexually responsive but not necessarily sexually driven.

If you're in your 50s and having sex like that 2-3 times per week she has an outstanding libido relative to other women her age.

It seems many women go beyond just not needing sex - they put effort into avoiding it.

Yea because have you seen the majority of 50 year old men? Would you want to have sex with them??