How often are you having sex lately?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Late 40s. 2x a month. We were down to 4-6x a year, and often months with nothing when we were early 40s. Almost divorced over it. Not exactly sure why things improved but they did. I am here to offer some hope that things can improve. I was one of those people on this board who was convinced a dead bedroom was irreversible.

Did something else change? Kids get older? Less stress at work? Just more time to relax?

It became a big point of contention and is now a lot better for us, but it was a “big deal” and there was a lot of discussion/navigating the difference. I have a very high libido and want it almost every day, he thinks that’s insane.

Not the pp. We also have a libido imbalance. We’re in our 50s with grown children and jobs, both out of the house. We’re having intense sex 2 to 3 times per week. We have it a variety of ways, sometimes with role playing. She’s vocal and reaches orgasm fairly fast. She gets into it.
Despite being seemingly satisfied sexually, she has hardly any underlying sex drive. The next day she can take it or leave it, whereas I always want it. She says I have to initiate.
Is anyone else like this? Sexually responsive but not necessarily sexually driven.

If you're in your 50s and having sex like that 2-3 times per week she has an outstanding libido relative to other women her age.

It seems many women go beyond just not needing sex - they put effort into avoiding it.

Yea because have you seen the majority of 50 year old men? Would you want to have sex with them??

50yo men are way better shape than 50yo women.

Men age like wine. Women age like milk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I (both in our 40s, two young kids) were on a roughly 1x/10 days schedule but committed in the least sexy way to 2x/week by scheduling it (we know which two days per week it's happening). It's worked out surprisingly well. Where previously we'd stay up too late watching tv or scrolling our phones or reading in bed and then I'd want to go to sleep, and he'd be annoyed because it would never happen (and I was more or less ok with it), now I mentally get in the mood and am happier doing it as a result.

I wish I could get my DH to agree to this, and have suggested it, but he says scheduling is unsexy and makes him feel like “a line item on your to-do list.” The end result being where you guys were: infrequent sex with him being annoyed about it and me being mostly okay with it (except to the extent it makes him grumpy). I feel like if we had set days where we knew it was happening I would be able to get myself mentally prepared and in the mood (I do enjoy it once we get into it). So I try to schedule it in my head, but then it’s all too easy to be like, nah, I’m tired, maybe tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Lately? I had a terrible cold for over a week and now my DH has it. Because of it we are sleeping in separate rooms which makes it even worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Late 40s. 2x a month. We were down to 4-6x a year, and often months with nothing when we were early 40s. Almost divorced over it. Not exactly sure why things improved but they did. I am here to offer some hope that things can improve. I was one of those people on this board who was convinced a dead bedroom was irreversible.

Did something else change? Kids get older? Less stress at work? Just more time to relax?

It became a big point of contention and is now a lot better for us, but it was a “big deal” and there was a lot of discussion/navigating the difference. I have a very high libido and want it almost every day, he thinks that’s insane.

Not the pp. We also have a libido imbalance. We’re in our 50s with grown children and jobs, both out of the house. We’re having intense sex 2 to 3 times per week. We have it a variety of ways, sometimes with role playing. She’s vocal and reaches orgasm fairly fast. She gets into it.
Despite being seemingly satisfied sexually, she has hardly any underlying sex drive. The next day she can take it or leave it, whereas I always want it. She says I have to initiate.
Is anyone else like this? Sexually responsive but not necessarily sexually driven.

If you're in your 50s and having sex like that 2-3 times per week she has an outstanding libido relative to other women her age.

It seems many women go beyond just not needing sex - they put effort into avoiding it.

Yea because have you seen the majority of 50 year old men? Would you want to have sex with them??

50yo men are way better shape than 50yo women.

Men age like wine. Women age like milk.

Hardly the case around here. 50 yo women spend a couple hours a day @ Pilates and are ripped with nice hair and skin. 50 yo men have no hair and dad bods

[Anonymous]

This is so hard to articulate. We’re 43/44, two kids 6 and 9. Went through brutal stretch starting with first pregnancy; her drive essentially cratered, and combine that with work and financial stress and baby #2 and we hardly had sex for years. It was really bad.

Things improved. WFH x 2 meant more communication and shared household responsibilities. Wife left toxic job and I started earning more. Both lost weight. Kids got easier. No more daycare and student loans meant less financial stress. There was some counseling involved. So, we came back from brink of sex extinction to something resembling normal.

That means sex anywhere from 1-5 times a month, with 2 being median amount. But it totally is a function of work stress, travel, and other factors. We just got a new puppy and have both traveled for work which has killed things for a few weeks. In good months it could be 4-5 times. If we’re on vacation w/o kids (rare) then every day for sure.

If I have one gripe it’s that I have to initiate essentially 100% of the time, but the mere fact that she engages and enjoys and it’s not dead is 100x better than before. I’ll take it I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Share your age, marital status, how long together.

With myself, daily; 62 year old female, separated.........wish I had a partner (didn't really have one when I was married).

[Anonymous]

usually around 12-15 times a day, occasionally more

[Anonymous]

Once a week but it's the best sex of my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once a week but it's the best sex of my life.

Interesting, tell us more!

[Anonymous]

Huge fights recently over everything from whether or not to give the kids candy at breakfast along with their eggs to there not being enough dates to you name it. As the husband I am just going to stop trying to imitate because she’s so angry all the time and it was me initiating all the time anyway. I know that’s an avoidance tactic, but Jesus Christ things are grim right now.

I just want household peace, to not be insulted and criticized for everything I do all the time (even though I’ve got a good job, do half the chores, and kids stuff, and handle so much else). She is take it or leave it or responsive desire.

Marriage fking sucks.

To the divorced folks out there. How is it? For men, specifically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huge fights recently over everything from whether or not to give the kids candy at breakfast along with their eggs to there not being enough dates to you name it. As the husband I am just going to stop trying to imitate because she’s so angry all the time and it was me initiating all the time anyway. I know that’s an avoidance tactic, but Jesus Christ things are grim right now.

I just want household peace, to not be insulted and criticized for everything I do all the time (even though I’ve got a good job, do half the chores, and kids stuff, and handle so much else). She is take it or leave it or responsive desire.

Marriage fking sucks.

To the divorced folks out there. How is it? For men, specifically.

Well she won’t live with you but will still be part of your life but you will have half the money and half the time with your kids. Marriage counseling is cheaper?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once a week but it's the best sex of my life.

Interesting, tell us more!

We’re both in our 40s with kids and divorced pretty recently. We’ve only been dating for a few months so we still have NRE but we’re quite comfortable with each other.

[Anonymous]

You can't live with 'em and you can't live without 'em
There's somethin' irresistible-ish about 'em
We grin and bear it 'cause the nights are long
But I hope that somethin' better comes along

[Anonymous]

None. 35 I'm a woman who wants sex, husband is always tired

[Anonymous]

He prefers music, he says his meds makes his low libido