We make $260k combined….why do I feel like we have no money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone with a very similar household income, but with two kids who have aged out of childcare, my advice is to just hold on tight! Your expenses, even your mortgage, look reasonable to me. But childcare is a killer. You say you have no savings, but you are contributing a decent amount to your retirement savings. That’s all we did when we were in your stage of life. I know it feels tight, but your income is good. Things will be so much easier once your kids are in school.

This. All your numbers are VERY close to mine -- 250k HHI, out PITI is 3700, our childcare is 3500 (three kids) -- Once we had the third we cut back our 401k to just enough to match and stopped putting away in 529s .... we are in pure survival mode. We have 1.5 years left till we are only paying aftercare and then we will reroute the funds back to retirement and 529s. I also keep an eye on real estate -- if a unicorn of a house popped up that could keep our same quality of life but reduce our mortgage --- we will be moving.

This is insane. You bought way too much house.

Really? That’s well below what all the mortgage/HHI calculators say you can afford (e.g., 28% of gross income rule)

With 3 kids? Pp (and op, in a similar situation) aren't saving for college and are barely saving for retirement. Because they overspent on their houses.

With rising interest rates and home prices, a lot of people are spending a greater percentage of their income on housing. And it's not like rents have gone down either.

We bought 9 years ago and have a very comfortable PITI of around $2k per month. A younger couple just bought the house next door to us- it's essentially the exact same house- but the sale price was 30% more than ours and with higher interest, their mortgage is $1k more! And this isn't Bethesda or anything like that. I feel for families trying to buy a house these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:exactly -- this is PP, its 26% of our take home and we can afford it.. what we cannot afford ( comfortably) is the childcare payment on top of that... but we knew that would be temporary.

you guys all realize that a 3600 mortgage is only a 650k house with 20% down these days right? The days of people getting lower mortgages is long gone....

The 28% rule of thumb assumes that you don't have any extraordinary expenses. When you add the healthcare and daycare expenses for SN kids, this rule of thumb no longer applies. The truth is that therapy and healthcare expenses may not go down for SN kids, either. The daycare expenses may never either go away - you may end up swapping a nanny for specialized summer camps or private schools. I think OP will end up fine, but she probably would have had a bit more breathing room (and room in the budget for additional unforeseen circumstances like job loss or illness) if she had spent ~100k less on housing .

Right- but I'm guessing they did not have a SN child when they bought the house. You never know what curveballs life will throw at you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone with a very similar household income, but with two kids who have aged out of childcare, my advice is to just hold on tight! Your expenses, even your mortgage, look reasonable to me. But childcare is a killer. You say you have no savings, but you are contributing a decent amount to your retirement savings. That’s all we did when we were in your stage of life. I know it feels tight, but your income is good. Things will be so much easier once your kids are in school.

This. All your numbers are VERY close to mine -- 250k HHI, out PITI is 3700, our childcare is 3500 (three kids) -- Once we had the third we cut back our 401k to just enough to match and stopped putting away in 529s .... we are in pure survival mode. We have 1.5 years left till we are only paying aftercare and then we will reroute the funds back to retirement and 529s. I also keep an eye on real estate -- if a unicorn of a house popped up that could keep our same quality of life but reduce our mortgage --- we will be moving.

This is insane. You bought way too much house.

Really? That’s well below what all the mortgage/HHI calculators say you can afford (e.g., 28% of gross income rule)

With 3 kids? Pp (and op, in a similar situation) aren't saving for college and are barely saving for retirement. Because they overspent on their houses.

With rising interest rates and home prices, a lot of people are spending a greater percentage of their income on housing. And it's not like rents have gone down either.

We bought 9 years ago and have a very comfortable PITI of around $2k per month. A younger couple just bought the house next door to us- it's essentially the exact same house- but the sale price was 30% more than ours and with higher interest, their mortgage is $1k more! And this isn't Bethesda or anything like that. I feel for families trying to buy a house these days.

Life is about choices. Either they could afford it and made the choice or they would have picked a cheaper house. Its time to live within your means and plan for things like inflation or unexpected expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:exactly -- this is PP, its 26% of our take home and we can afford it.. what we cannot afford ( comfortably) is the childcare payment on top of that... but we knew that would be temporary.

you guys all realize that a 3600 mortgage is only a 650k house with 20% down these days right? The days of people getting lower mortgages is long gone....

The 28% rule of thumb assumes that you don't have any extraordinary expenses. When you add the healthcare and daycare expenses for SN kids, this rule of thumb no longer applies. The truth is that therapy and healthcare expenses may not go down for SN kids, either. The daycare expenses may never either go away - you may end up swapping a nanny for specialized summer camps or private schools. I think OP will end up fine, but she probably would have had a bit more breathing room (and room in the budget for additional unforeseen circumstances like job loss or illness) if she had spent ~100k less on housing .

Right- but I'm guessing they did not have a SN child when they bought the house. You never know what curveballs life will throw at you.

Lots of us have had curve balls like a SN child and make it work. On this income, they can easily make it work. Spending $650K with no downpayment is a really bad idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

Utilities do vary. We have an all electric house.

Electricity: $450/month
Water: $150/month
Internet: $150/month

If I’m totally honest, in the summer our electricity is actually even higher…..

These are really high! Can you set the thermostat a couple degrees warmer/cooler depending on the season? Can you shop around for a better Internet package?

Op here. We’re out in the desert and Internet is tricky. We’ve shopped it and it kind of is what it is. DH is fully remote in tech and needs super fast Internet.

Our electricity costs are high in part because we don’t have gas so electricity is heating the water. In the summer it’s insane but it’s very hot here. In winter it’s not quite so bad. We don’t use a lot of heat but we do use a lot of AC.

This is the time to find fully remote jobs. Can DH try to find something with a higher salary that’s fully remote? Is the childcare daycare?

OP is full of it. I have a tech spouse, kids still in virtual school and we don't have internet at that price. It's $30 a month. If we went up, it would be about $50-60 a month. They have a spending issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

Utilities do vary. We have an all electric house.

Electricity: $450/month
Water: $150/month
Internet: $150/month

If I’m totally honest, in the summer our electricity is actually even higher…..

These are really high! Can you set the thermostat a couple degrees warmer/cooler depending on the season? Can you shop around for a better Internet package?

Op here. We’re out in the desert and Internet is tricky. We’ve shopped it and it kind of is what it is. DH is fully remote in tech and needs super fast Internet.

Our electricity costs are high in part because we don’t have gas so electricity is heating the water. In the summer it’s insane but it’s very hot here. In winter it’s not quite so bad. We don’t use a lot of heat but we do use a lot of AC.

This is the time to find fully remote jobs. Can DH try to find something with a higher salary that’s fully remote? Is the childcare daycare?

OP is full of it. I have a tech spouse, kids still in virtual school and we don't have internet at that price. It's $30 a month. If we went up, it would be about $50-60 a month. They have a spending issue.

FFS, you realize different parts of the country have different costs for these things, right? Good lord, PP. $30/month for outstanding internet access is dirt cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone with a very similar household income, but with two kids who have aged out of childcare, my advice is to just hold on tight! Your expenses, even your mortgage, look reasonable to me. But childcare is a killer. You say you have no savings, but you are contributing a decent amount to your retirement savings. That’s all we did when we were in your stage of life. I know it feels tight, but your income is good. Things will be so much easier once your kids are in school.

This. All your numbers are VERY close to mine -- 250k HHI, out PITI is 3700, our childcare is 3500 (three kids) -- Once we had the third we cut back our 401k to just enough to match and stopped putting away in 529s .... we are in pure survival mode. We have 1.5 years left till we are only paying aftercare and then we will reroute the funds back to retirement and 529s. I also keep an eye on real estate -- if a unicorn of a house popped up that could keep our same quality of life but reduce our mortgage --- we will be moving.

This is insane. You bought way too much house.

Really? That’s well below what all the mortgage/HHI calculators say you can afford (e.g., 28% of gross income rule)

With 3 kids? Pp (and op, in a similar situation) aren't saving for college and are barely saving for retirement. Because they overspent on their houses.

With rising interest rates and home prices, a lot of people are spending a greater percentage of their income on housing. And it's not like rents have gone down either.

We bought 9 years ago and have a very comfortable PITI of around $2k per month. A younger couple just bought the house next door to us- it's essentially the exact same house- but the sale price was 30% more than ours and with higher interest, their mortgage is $1k more! And this isn't Bethesda or anything like that. I feel for families trying to buy a house these days.

Life is about choices. Either they could afford it and made the choice or they would have picked a cheaper house. Its time to live within your means and plan for things like inflation or unexpected expenses.

+1. And look, I get it. We've had tons of friends who made the choice to leave the DMV altogether the last couple years because the "cheaper" houses they could afford come with soul-sucking commutes or low-performing schools (and if you had a remote job, WTF would you live somewhere like Montgomery Village? you wouldn't). Times have changed and you need more money to make it here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

Utilities do vary. We have an all electric house.

Electricity: $450/month
Water: $150/month
Internet: $150/month

If I’m totally honest, in the summer our electricity is actually even higher…..

These are really high! Can you set the thermostat a couple degrees warmer/cooler depending on the season? Can you shop around for a better Internet package?

Op here. We’re out in the desert and Internet is tricky. We’ve shopped it and it kind of is what it is. DH is fully remote in tech and needs super fast Internet.

Our electricity costs are high in part because we don’t have gas so electricity is heating the water. In the summer it’s insane but it’s very hot here. In winter it’s not quite so bad. We don’t use a lot of heat but we do use a lot of AC.

This is the time to find fully remote jobs. Can DH try to find something with a higher salary that’s fully remote? Is the childcare daycare?

OP is full of it. I have a tech spouse, kids still in virtual school and we don't have internet at that price. It's $30 a month. If we went up, it would be about $50-60 a month. They have a spending issue.

FFS, you realize different parts of the country have different costs for these things, right? Good lord, PP. $30/month for outstanding internet access is dirt cheap.

It's not outstanding and at times pretty slow but my tech husband knows how to usually fix the issues. $150K for internet is insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone with a very similar household income, but with two kids who have aged out of childcare, my advice is to just hold on tight! Your expenses, even your mortgage, look reasonable to me. But childcare is a killer. You say you have no savings, but you are contributing a decent amount to your retirement savings. That’s all we did when we were in your stage of life. I know it feels tight, but your income is good. Things will be so much easier once your kids are in school.

This. All your numbers are VERY close to mine -- 250k HHI, out PITI is 3700, our childcare is 3500 (three kids) -- Once we had the third we cut back our 401k to just enough to match and stopped putting away in 529s .... we are in pure survival mode. We have 1.5 years left till we are only paying aftercare and then we will reroute the funds back to retirement and 529s. I also keep an eye on real estate -- if a unicorn of a house popped up that could keep our same quality of life but reduce our mortgage --- we will be moving.

This is insane. You bought way too much house.

Really? That’s well below what all the mortgage/HHI calculators say you can afford (e.g., 28% of gross income rule)

With 3 kids? Pp (and op, in a similar situation) aren't saving for college and are barely saving for retirement. Because they overspent on their houses.

With rising interest rates and home prices, a lot of people are spending a greater percentage of their income on housing. And it's not like rents have gone down either.

We bought 9 years ago and have a very comfortable PITI of around $2k per month. A younger couple just bought the house next door to us- it's essentially the exact same house- but the sale price was 30% more than ours and with higher interest, their mortgage is $1k more! And this isn't Bethesda or anything like that. I feel for families trying to buy a house these days.

Life is about choices. Either they could afford it and made the choice or they would have picked a cheaper house. Its time to live within your means and plan for things like inflation or unexpected expenses.

+1. And look, I get it. We've had tons of friends who made the choice to leave the DMV altogether the last couple years because the "cheaper" houses they could afford come with soul-sucking commutes or low-performing schools (and if you had a remote job, WTF would you live somewhere like Montgomery Village? you wouldn't). Times have changed and you need more money to make it here.

Do you mean in a neighborhood like we picked because it was affordable to us... right. I do live somewhere like you are describing. We have a very small 1000 square foot house and make it work just fine. Who do you think lives in these places? You think some of us don't? I don't worry about test scores or parental income as I'm not a snob about it. We supplement outside of school like good parents do and our kids do well academically. And, we aren't stress over money because we didn't overspend on housing and other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here.

Utilities do vary. We have an all electric house.

Electricity: $450/month
Water: $150/month
Internet: $150/month

If I’m totally honest, in the summer our electricity is actually even higher…..

These are really high! Can you set the thermostat a couple degrees warmer/cooler depending on the season? Can you shop around for a better Internet package?

Op here. We’re out in the desert and Internet is tricky. We’ve shopped it and it kind of is what it is. DH is fully remote in tech and needs super fast Internet.

Our electricity costs are high in part because we don’t have gas so electricity is heating the water. In the summer it’s insane but it’s very hot here. In winter it’s not quite so bad. We don’t use a lot of heat but we do use a lot of AC.

This is the time to find fully remote jobs. Can DH try to find something with a higher salary that’s fully remote? Is the childcare daycare?

OP is full of it. I have a tech spouse, kids still in virtual school and we don't have internet at that price. It's $30 a month. If we went up, it would be about $50-60 a month. They have a spending issue.

FFS, you realize different parts of the country have different costs for these things, right? Good lord, PP. $30/month for outstanding internet access is dirt cheap.

It's not outstanding and at times pretty slow but my tech husband knows how to usually fix the issues. $150K for internet is insane.

It’s very high - but that might also be the going rate for internet where the OP lives. I also have a “tech husband” and there’s only so much you can do when the product itself is garbage. Not everyone can work with garbage internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone with a very similar household income, but with two kids who have aged out of childcare, my advice is to just hold on tight! Your expenses, even your mortgage, look reasonable to me. But childcare is a killer. You say you have no savings, but you are contributing a decent amount to your retirement savings. That’s all we did when we were in your stage of life. I know it feels tight, but your income is good. Things will be so much easier once your kids are in school.

This. All your numbers are VERY close to mine -- 250k HHI, out PITI is 3700, our childcare is 3500 (three kids) -- Once we had the third we cut back our 401k to just enough to match and stopped putting away in 529s .... we are in pure survival mode. We have 1.5 years left till we are only paying aftercare and then we will reroute the funds back to retirement and 529s. I also keep an eye on real estate -- if a unicorn of a house popped up that could keep our same quality of life but reduce our mortgage --- we will be moving.

This is insane. You bought way too much house.

Really? That’s well below what all the mortgage/HHI calculators say you can afford (e.g., 28% of gross income rule)

With 3 kids? Pp (and op, in a similar situation) aren't saving for college and are barely saving for retirement. Because they overspent on their houses.

With rising interest rates and home prices, a lot of people are spending a greater percentage of their income on housing. And it's not like rents have gone down either.

We bought 9 years ago and have a very comfortable PITI of around $2k per month. A younger couple just bought the house next door to us- it's essentially the exact same house- but the sale price was 30% more than ours and with higher interest, their mortgage is $1k more! And this isn't Bethesda or anything like that. I feel for families trying to buy a house these days.

Life is about choices. Either they could afford it and made the choice or they would have picked a cheaper house. Its time to live within your means and plan for things like inflation or unexpected expenses.

+1. And look, I get it. We've had tons of friends who made the choice to leave the DMV altogether the last couple years because the "cheaper" houses they could afford come with soul-sucking commutes or low-performing schools (and if you had a remote job, WTF would you live somewhere like Montgomery Village? you wouldn't). Times have changed and you need more money to make it here.

Do you mean in a neighborhood like we picked because it was affordable to us... right. I do live somewhere like you are describing. We have a very small 1000 square foot house and make it work just fine. Who do you think lives in these places? You think some of us don't? I don't worry about test scores or parental income as I'm not a snob about it. We supplement outside of school like good parents do and our kids do well academically. And, we aren't stress over money because we didn't overspend on housing and other things.

Sorry if you misunderstood- the friends I was referencing could afford very little in this area and it made no sense to stay. Remote or easily transportable jobs like teachers/nurses. It sound like you could afford to buy in this area, so you made a different choice! Life is all about choices!

(FWIW, our house is smaller than yours and ES has a Great Schools rating of a 5, I'm not sure why you're offended by my post?)

Anyway this is totally off track to the thread so signing off. Best of luck OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone with a very similar household income, but with two kids who have aged out of childcare, my advice is to just hold on tight! Your expenses, even your mortgage, look reasonable to me. But childcare is a killer. You say you have no savings, but you are contributing a decent amount to your retirement savings. That’s all we did when we were in your stage of life. I know it feels tight, but your income is good. Things will be so much easier once your kids are in school.

This. All your numbers are VERY close to mine -- 250k HHI, out PITI is 3700, our childcare is 3500 (three kids) -- Once we had the third we cut back our 401k to just enough to match and stopped putting away in 529s .... we are in pure survival mode. We have 1.5 years left till we are only paying aftercare and then we will reroute the funds back to retirement and 529s. I also keep an eye on real estate -- if a unicorn of a house popped up that could keep our same quality of life but reduce our mortgage --- we will be moving.

This is insane. You bought way too much house.

Really? That’s well below what all the mortgage/HHI calculators say you can afford (e.g., 28% of gross income rule)

With 3 kids? Pp (and op, in a similar situation) aren't saving for college and are barely saving for retirement. Because they overspent on their houses.

With rising interest rates and home prices, a lot of people are spending a greater percentage of their income on housing. And it's not like rents have gone down either.

We bought 9 years ago and have a very comfortable PITI of around $2k per month. A younger couple just bought the house next door to us- it's essentially the exact same house- but the sale price was 30% more than ours and with higher interest, their mortgage is $1k more! And this isn't Bethesda or anything like that. I feel for families trying to buy a house these days.

Life is about choices. Either they could afford it and made the choice or they would have picked a cheaper house. Its time to live within your means and plan for things like inflation or unexpected expenses.

+1. And look, I get it. We've had tons of friends who made the choice to leave the DMV altogether the last couple years because the "cheaper" houses they could afford come with soul-sucking commutes or low-performing schools (and if you had a remote job, WTF would you live somewhere like Montgomery Village? you wouldn't). Times have changed and you need more money to make it here.

Do you mean in a neighborhood like we picked because it was affordable to us... right. I do live somewhere like you are describing. We have a very small 1000 square foot house and make it work just fine. Who do you think lives in these places? You think some of us don't? I don't worry about test scores or parental income as I'm not a snob about it. We supplement outside of school like good parents do and our kids do well academically. And, we aren't stress over money because we didn't overspend on housing and other things.

Sorry if you misunderstood- the friends I was referencing could afford very little in this area and it made no sense to stay. Remote or easily transportable jobs like teachers/nurses. It sound like you could afford to buy in this area, so you made a different choice! Life is all about choices!

(FWIW, our house is smaller than yours and ES has a Great Schools rating of a 5, I'm not sure why you're offended by my post?)

Anyway this is totally off track to the thread so signing off. Best of luck OP.

There are still close in houses that are under $500K but people want to pretend their schools are so much better. OP has a spending issue and not willing to reduce their expenses. They made a very bad house choice for starters and their other bills are high too. That is the point of this thread. OP isn't willing to make any changes so they are broke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what are you looking for from this post? You have gotten some good suggestions but you are rejecting all of them.

Op here. I’ve probably gotten all that I needed out of this thread. I’ve gotten good ideas and also validation that this is a tough, but hopefully temporary time in our life. My husband is working on finding a better job. I’ve already sent him some links and he’s applying. I think we really need to increase our income if we are going to move the needle.

I didn’t find the childcare piece of this thread helpful and kinda wish I hadn’t shared details. If I want input on that topic, I think I need to go to the Special Needs and Disabilities forum of this site since our situation is unusual.

Thank you for everyone who has weighed in!

Have you looked at whether your specialized childcare counts as a medical expense for the purposes of tax write off? If your nanny has specifical medical qualifications, it might that her salary, plus your other medical expenses, medically related travel expenses (which DO qualify) might put you in the range of 10% of AGI and a significant tax write off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone with a very similar household income, but with two kids who have aged out of childcare, my advice is to just hold on tight! Your expenses, even your mortgage, look reasonable to me. But childcare is a killer. You say you have no savings, but you are contributing a decent amount to your retirement savings. That’s all we did when we were in your stage of life. I know it feels tight, but your income is good. Things will be so much easier once your kids are in school.

This. All your numbers are VERY close to mine -- 250k HHI, out PITI is 3700, our childcare is 3500 (three kids) -- Once we had the third we cut back our 401k to just enough to match and stopped putting away in 529s .... we are in pure survival mode. We have 1.5 years left till we are only paying aftercare and then we will reroute the funds back to retirement and 529s. I also keep an eye on real estate -- if a unicorn of a house popped up that could keep our same quality of life but reduce our mortgage --- we will be moving.

This is insane. You bought way too much house.

Really? That’s well below what all the mortgage/HHI calculators say you can afford (e.g., 28% of gross income rule)

With 3 kids? Pp (and op, in a similar situation) aren't saving for college and are barely saving for retirement. Because they overspent on their houses.

With rising interest rates and home prices, a lot of people are spending a greater percentage of their income on housing. And it's not like rents have gone down either.

We bought 9 years ago and have a very comfortable PITI of around $2k per month. A younger couple just bought the house next door to us- it's essentially the exact same house- but the sale price was 30% more than ours and with higher interest, their mortgage is $1k more! And this isn't Bethesda or anything like that. I feel for families trying to buy a house these days.

Life is about choices. Either they could afford it and made the choice or they would have picked a cheaper house. Its time to live within your means and plan for things like inflation or unexpected expenses.

+1. And look, I get it. We've had tons of friends who made the choice to leave the DMV altogether the last couple years because the "cheaper" houses they could afford come with soul-sucking commutes or low-performing schools (and if you had a remote job, WTF would you live somewhere like Montgomery Village? you wouldn't). Times have changed and you need more money to make it here.

Do you mean in a neighborhood like we picked because it was affordable to us... right. I do live somewhere like you are describing. We have a very small 1000 square foot house and make it work just fine. Who do you think lives in these places? You think some of us don't? I don't worry about test scores or parental income as I'm not a snob about it. We supplement outside of school like good parents do and our kids do well academically. And, we aren't stress over money because we didn't overspend on housing and other things.

Sorry if you misunderstood- the friends I was referencing could afford very little in this area and it made no sense to stay. Remote or easily transportable jobs like teachers/nurses. It sound like you could afford to buy in this area, so you made a different choice! Life is all about choices!

(FWIW, our house is smaller than yours and ES has a Great Schools rating of a 5, I'm not sure why you're offended by my post?)

Anyway this is totally off track to the thread so signing off. Best of luck OP.

There are still close in houses that are under $500K but people want to pretend their schools are so much better. OP has a spending issue and not willing to reduce their expenses. They made a very bad house choice for starters and their other bills are high too. That is the point of this thread. OP isn't willing to make any changes so they are broke.

DP. $500k is still out of reach for a lot of people. Total elitist DC response, lol. With 20% down that’s $3400 PITI. Not far off for what y’all are criticizing OP for! And then you’re saying you’d need to heavily supplement your kids outside of school even at that price point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone with a very similar household income, but with two kids who have aged out of childcare, my advice is to just hold on tight! Your expenses, even your mortgage, look reasonable to me. But childcare is a killer. You say you have no savings, but you are contributing a decent amount to your retirement savings. That’s all we did when we were in your stage of life. I know it feels tight, but your income is good. Things will be so much easier once your kids are in school.

This. All your numbers are VERY close to mine -- 250k HHI, out PITI is 3700, our childcare is 3500 (three kids) -- Once we had the third we cut back our 401k to just enough to match and stopped putting away in 529s .... we are in pure survival mode. We have 1.5 years left till we are only paying aftercare and then we will reroute the funds back to retirement and 529s. I also keep an eye on real estate -- if a unicorn of a house popped up that could keep our same quality of life but reduce our mortgage --- we will be moving.

This is insane. You bought way too much house.

Really? That’s well below what all the mortgage/HHI calculators say you can afford (e.g., 28% of gross income rule)

With 3 kids? Pp (and op, in a similar situation) aren't saving for college and are barely saving for retirement. Because they overspent on their houses.

With rising interest rates and home prices, a lot of people are spending a greater percentage of their income on housing. And it's not like rents have gone down either.

We bought 9 years ago and have a very comfortable PITI of around $2k per month. A younger couple just bought the house next door to us- it's essentially the exact same house- but the sale price was 30% more than ours and with higher interest, their mortgage is $1k more! And this isn't Bethesda or anything like that. I feel for families trying to buy a house these days.

Life is about choices. Either they could afford it and made the choice or they would have picked a cheaper house. Its time to live within your means and plan for things like inflation or unexpected expenses.

+1. And look, I get it. We've had tons of friends who made the choice to leave the DMV altogether the last couple years because the "cheaper" houses they could afford come with soul-sucking commutes or low-performing schools (and if you had a remote job, WTF would you live somewhere like Montgomery Village? you wouldn't). Times have changed and you need more money to make it here.

Do you mean in a neighborhood like we picked because it was affordable to us... right. I do live somewhere like you are describing. We have a very small 1000 square foot house and make it work just fine. Who do you think lives in these places? You think some of us don't? I don't worry about test scores or parental income as I'm not a snob about it. We supplement outside of school like good parents do and our kids do well academically. And, we aren't stress over money because we didn't overspend on housing and other things.

Sorry if you misunderstood- the friends I was referencing could afford very little in this area and it made no sense to stay. Remote or easily transportable jobs like teachers/nurses. It sound like you could afford to buy in this area, so you made a different choice! Life is all about choices!

(FWIW, our house is smaller than yours and ES has a Great Schools rating of a 5, I'm not sure why you're offended by my post?)

Anyway this is totally off track to the thread so signing off. Best of luck OP.

There are still close in houses that are under $500K but people want to pretend their schools are so much better. OP has a spending issue and not willing to reduce their expenses. They made a very bad house choice for starters and their other bills are high too. That is the point of this thread. OP isn't willing to make any changes so they are broke.

OP made a very bad house choice? Are you nuts? OP made the best financial move of her life with that house. We all wish we could time it as perfectly as OP and create 400k in equity with a zero down payment in just 3 years. She can sell and go back to renting if she wants with 400k in her pocket. She can also enjoy it. She obviously can afford it. She just can’t afford a dog or a second car or a vacation in addition