We make $260k combined….why do I feel like we have no money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What daycare is 3500 per month?? Even for two kids?

Wut? As far as I know literally every decent daycare is 3500 for two kids. Are you joking? Center-based care rates are like minimum $1800 per month for older kids (more like $2300 for toddlers). Unless you want your kid's plopped in front of Ms. Smith's home daycare living room television while she heats up hotpockets for lunch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What daycare is 3500 per month?? Even for two kids?

That's $400/week per child which is pretty average for a DC childcare center. A top center would be quite a bit more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are also $260k with two kids ages 2 and 4.

Our childcare is $1600/mo
Our PITI is $2800/mo
No CC debt

Feels really manageable to us.

I'm really not sure why people post responses like this. How is it relevant at all?

It's like asking for favorite pizza places and someone responds with a recommendation for a steakhouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What daycare is 3500 per month?? Even for two kids?

That's $400/week per child which is pretty average for a DC childcare center. A top center would be quite a bit more.

Yeah that's about what ours is. Before we moved to a center we were paying $350 per week at a really nice family daycare with homecooked meals (and no, there was no TV, whoever wrote that hasn't done their research). We are in the burbs but not the boonies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What daycare is 3500 per month?? Even for two kids?

That's $400/week per child which is pretty average for a DC childcare center. A top center would be quite a bit more.

Yeah that's about what ours is. Before we moved to a center we were paying $350 per week at a really nice family daycare with homecooked meals (and no, there was no TV, whoever wrote that hasn't done their research). We are in the burbs but not the boonies.

I didn't do my research? You're using n = 1 as evidence for a trend and I'm the one who didn't do my research? lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What daycare is 3500 per month?? Even for two kids?

That's $400/week per child which is pretty average for a DC childcare center. A top center would be quite a bit more.

Yeah that's about what ours is. Before we moved to a center we were paying $350 per week at a really nice family daycare with homecooked meals (and no, there was no TV, whoever wrote that hasn't done their research). We are in the burbs but not the boonies.

I didn't do my research? You're using n = 1 as evidence for a trend and I'm the one who didn't do my research? lol

Ok well then enjoy your $2000+ per month daycare if that's all you could find.

[Anonymous]

That a crazy high mortgage. We make about $320K and our mortgage is $1500/mo. And our childcare is down to $320/mo (aftercare). I wouldn't spend that much on a house and we actually could afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That a crazy high mortgage. We make about $320K and our mortgage is $1500/mo. And our childcare is down to $320/mo (aftercare). I wouldn't spend that much on a house and we actually could afford it.

Where do you live with this mortgage and aftercare cost?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What daycare is 3500 per month?? Even for two kids?

Wut? As far as I know literally every decent daycare is 3500 for two kids. Are you joking? Center-based care rates are like minimum $1800 per month for older kids (more like $2300 for toddlers). Unless you want your kid's plopped in front of Ms. Smith's home daycare living room television while she heats up hotpockets for lunch

NP, yes, we paid $400/month for the first kid and $500/month for the 2nd kid in DC for an in home daycare and we were lucky to even get a spot as everywhere had waiting lists. Now spending $500/ week this summer for camp unless we can maybe get lucky with a DC public camp, but unless you're on the button down to the minute with getting a spot, you're SOL. I missed one camp already because I couldn't be online during the exact time registration opened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What daycare is 3500 per month?? Even for two kids?

That's $400/week per child which is pretty average for a DC childcare center. A top center would be quite a bit more.

For a center based daycare you would only be able to pay $400 a week if it were an older child, like a 4-5 year old who is about to go to kindergarten. Even then $1600 is pretty low, most of them will be a bit higher than that. For a 2 year old its likely to be more than $500 a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Net combined income (after insurance and taxes and retirement contributions): $11,000

Monthly Expenses:
Mortgage PITI: $3450
Childcare: $3500
Utilities: average $750 (electric, water, Internet)
Phone bills: $150
Insurance/gas/car maintenance: $400
Medication/Therapies/medical costs: $800
Food/toiletries: $1000

This leaves us with less than $900/month to cover things like home maintenance, car repairs, clothes, haircuts, travel, incidentals, kids activities, gifts, savings, and debt payments (we have no debt but mortgage and a 0% credit card that has $12k on it).

I’m so frustrated. I feel like we can’t afford so many things I want (a dog, a 2nd car, a vacation, a personal computer, a bike). We have nothing saved for college. We are way behind on retirement. We share one car.

We have 2 kids but one of them has significant special needs so our childcare/medical expenses are unlikely to drop dramatically for at least another 3-5 years.

Any tips or commiseration?

When I made 260k I felt rich. But I had no mortgage, wife did not work so no childcare. Also had no medical issues with kids.

[Anonymous]

I really doubt these dmv houses are going to hold their values once interest rates are high enough to get inflation under control. That mortgage could become a real liability if it’s underwater. But obviously people have been saying that about this market for years, so…

It’s ironic though how everyone is against inflation except when it comes to their own house value.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:As someone with a very similar household income, but with two kids who have aged out of childcare, my advice is to just hold on tight! Your expenses, even your mortgage, look reasonable to me. But childcare is a killer. You say you have no savings, but you are contributing a decent amount to your retirement savings. That’s all we did when we were in your stage of life. I know it feels tight, but your income is good. Things will be so much easier once your kids are in school.

This. All your numbers are VERY close to mine -- 250k HHI, out PITI is 3700, our childcare is 3500 (three kids) -- Once we had the third we cut back our 401k to just enough to match and stopped putting away in 529s .... we are in pure survival mode. We have 1.5 years left till we are only paying aftercare and then we will reroute the funds back to retirement and 529s. I also keep an eye on real estate -- if a unicorn of a house popped up that could keep our same quality of life but reduce our mortgage --- we will be moving.

This is insane. You bought way too much house.

Really? That’s well below what all the mortgage/HHI calculators say you can afford (e.g., 28% of gross income rule)

With 3 kids? Pp (and op, in a similar situation) aren't saving for college and are barely saving for retirement. Because they overspent on their houses.

With rising interest rates and home prices, a lot of people are spending a greater percentage of their income on housing. And it's not like rents have gone down either.

We bought 9 years ago and have a very comfortable PITI of around $2k per month. A younger couple just bought the house next door to us- it's essentially the exact same house- but the sale price was 30% more than ours and with higher interest, their mortgage is $1k more! And this isn't Bethesda or anything like that. I feel for families trying to buy a house these days.

Life is about choices. Either they could afford it and made the choice or they would have picked a cheaper house. Its time to live within your means and plan for things like inflation or unexpected expenses.

+1. And look, I get it. We've had tons of friends who made the choice to leave the DMV altogether the last couple years because the "cheaper" houses they could afford come with soul-sucking commutes or low-performing schools (and if you had a remote job, WTF would you live somewhere like Montgomery Village? you wouldn't). Times have changed and you need more money to make it here.

Do you mean in a neighborhood like we picked because it was affordable to us... right. I do live somewhere like you are describing. We have a very small 1000 square foot house and make it work just fine. Who do you think lives in these places? You think some of us don't? I don't worry about test scores or parental income as I'm not a snob about it. We supplement outside of school like good parents do and our kids do well academically. And, we aren't stress over money because we didn't overspend on housing and other things.

Sorry if you misunderstood- the friends I was referencing could afford very little in this area and it made no sense to stay. Remote or easily transportable jobs like teachers/nurses. It sound like you could afford to buy in this area, so you made a different choice! Life is all about choices!

(FWIW, our house is smaller than yours and ES has a Great Schools rating of a 5, I'm not sure why you're offended by my post?)

Anyway this is totally off track to the thread so signing off. Best of luck OP.

There are still close in houses that are under $500K but people want to pretend their schools are so much better. OP has a spending issue and not willing to reduce their expenses. They made a very bad house choice for starters and their other bills are high too. That is the point of this thread. OP isn't willing to make any changes so they are broke.

OP made a very bad house choice? Are you nuts? OP made the best financial move of her life with that house. We all wish we could time it as perfectly as OP and create 400k in equity with a zero down payment in just 3 years. She can sell and go back to renting if she wants with 400k in her pocket. She can also enjoy it. She obviously can afford it. She just can’t afford a dog or a second car or a vacation in addition

yes, OP timed it perfectly with that house. I timed a house almost perfectly a decade ago and it is worth 2.5x now. One of the best and luckiest financial events for me. Life changingin terms of retirement potential. Free money. OP should be grateful about the house gains and chill. Sorry, no new luxury cars or big vacations for the next 5 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fin Reg here and I'm 15 years into my career. If I spend another 15 here my pension is projected to be around 115/year. I've dialed back on other retirement savings (not maxing, just contributing enough for the max) and they should be about $2M. Then with DH's retirement savings from his non-gov job there's a very real chance our standard of living will go way up in retirement, especially if we downsize our house.

You are either lying or bad at math, and therefore shouldn't be working at a financial regulator. At 30 years of service, your fers multiplier is .33. To have a 115k pension in today dollars, your salary would need to be 348k, which no fin regulator pays. Either that, or you are looking at it in future dollars, which isn't present value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are also $260k with two kids ages 2 and 4.

Our childcare is $1600/mo
Our PITI is $2800/mo
No CC debt

Feels really manageable to us.

Where do you live? Do you pay for full time child care for your kids? There is no way you could only pay $1,600 a month in the DC area for full time child care for a 2 and 4 year old. It would likely be closer to $4,000 a month, minimum. Honestly you probably couldn't even pay $1,600 a month for part time care for two kids in the DC area.

Our little one is in a great in-home daycare that's $1100/month
Older one is in a full time catholic preschool at $550/month and will be going to public K next year