We make $260k combined….why do I feel like we have no money?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:As someone with a very similar household income, but with two kids who have aged out of childcare, my advice is to just hold on tight! Your expenses, even your mortgage, look reasonable to me. But childcare is a killer. You say you have no savings, but you are contributing a decent amount to your retirement savings. That’s all we did when we were in your stage of life. I know it feels tight, but your income is good. Things will be so much easier once your kids are in school.

This. All your numbers are VERY close to mine -- 250k HHI, out PITI is 3700, our childcare is 3500 (three kids) -- Once we had the third we cut back our 401k to just enough to match and stopped putting away in 529s .... we are in pure survival mode. We have 1.5 years left till we are only paying aftercare and then we will reroute the funds back to retirement and 529s. I also keep an eye on real estate -- if a unicorn of a house popped up that could keep our same quality of life but reduce our mortgage --- we will be moving.

This is insane. You bought way too much house.

Really? That’s well below what all the mortgage/HHI calculators say you can afford (e.g., 28% of gross income rule)

With 3 kids? Pp (and op, in a similar situation) aren't saving for college and are barely saving for retirement. Because they overspent on their houses.

With rising interest rates and home prices, a lot of people are spending a greater percentage of their income on housing. And it's not like rents have gone down either.

We bought 9 years ago and have a very comfortable PITI of around $2k per month. A younger couple just bought the house next door to us- it's essentially the exact same house- but the sale price was 30% more than ours and with higher interest, their mortgage is $1k more! And this isn't Bethesda or anything like that. I feel for families trying to buy a house these days.

Life is about choices. Either they could afford it and made the choice or they would have picked a cheaper house. Its time to live within your means and plan for things like inflation or unexpected expenses.

+1. And look, I get it. We've had tons of friends who made the choice to leave the DMV altogether the last couple years because the "cheaper" houses they could afford come with soul-sucking commutes or low-performing schools (and if you had a remote job, WTF would you live somewhere like Montgomery Village? you wouldn't). Times have changed and you need more money to make it here.

Do you mean in a neighborhood like we picked because it was affordable to us... right. I do live somewhere like you are describing. We have a very small 1000 square foot house and make it work just fine. Who do you think lives in these places? You think some of us don't? I don't worry about test scores or parental income as I'm not a snob about it. We supplement outside of school like good parents do and our kids do well academically. And, we aren't stress over money because we didn't overspend on housing and other things.

Sorry if you misunderstood- the friends I was referencing could afford very little in this area and it made no sense to stay. Remote or easily transportable jobs like teachers/nurses. It sound like you could afford to buy in this area, so you made a different choice! Life is all about choices!

(FWIW, our house is smaller than yours and ES has a Great Schools rating of a 5, I'm not sure why you're offended by my post?)

Anyway this is totally off track to the thread so signing off. Best of luck OP.

There are still close in houses that are under $500K but people want to pretend their schools are so much better. OP has a spending issue and not willing to reduce their expenses. They made a very bad house choice for starters and their other bills are high too. That is the point of this thread. OP isn't willing to make any changes so they are broke.

OP made a very bad house choice? Are you nuts? OP made the best financial move of her life with that house. We all wish we could time it as perfectly as OP and create 400k in equity with a zero down payment in just 3 years. She can sell and go back to renting if she wants with 400k in her pocket. She can also enjoy it. She obviously can afford it. She just can’t afford a dog or a second car or a vacation in addition

+1

I'm completely with PP. This is a hard time right now for OP because of the confluence of PK expenses plus medical expenses. Buying a fixer upper that's a good size for her family, including an aging parent, is already paying off and will continue to do so.

Unfortunately having a family member with significant SN means some trade offs, like sacrificing family vacations and college savings, but it sounds like the extremely tight budget now should ease at least somewhat once the older child goes to school.

OP, I agree with your thoughts on asking the SN board. Given you have significant expenses directly related to disability or medical needs for your child, look at medical tax write offs and any local or state level programs designed for disability related childcare. Your county's special education coordinator that you're probably already in touch with for preschool might have some resources for you.

I also agree with asking your dad for some amount as rent. While he doesn't have a large income, he should expect to pay some amount towards housing.

Lastly, you should be able to open a HELOC; they do exist. I would strongly advise to only plan to use it in case of dire emergency since it will put you in the hole, but since you don't have any savings, you need to have that backup plan in place. In your current situation, I would spread paying off the CC over the lifetime of the 0% interest period and focus on building some level of liquid savings during that time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone with a very similar household income, but with two kids who have aged out of childcare, my advice is to just hold on tight! Your expenses, even your mortgage, look reasonable to me. But childcare is a killer. You say you have no savings, but you are contributing a decent amount to your retirement savings. That’s all we did when we were in your stage of life. I know it feels tight, but your income is good. Things will be so much easier once your kids are in school.

This. All your numbers are VERY close to mine -- 250k HHI, out PITI is 3700, our childcare is 3500 (three kids) -- Once we had the third we cut back our 401k to just enough to match and stopped putting away in 529s .... we are in pure survival mode. We have 1.5 years left till we are only paying aftercare and then we will reroute the funds back to retirement and 529s. I also keep an eye on real estate -- if a unicorn of a house popped up that could keep our same quality of life but reduce our mortgage --- we will be moving.

This is insane. You bought way too much house.

Really? That’s well below what all the mortgage/HHI calculators say you can afford (e.g., 28% of gross income rule)

With 3 kids? Pp (and op, in a similar situation) aren't saving for college and are barely saving for retirement. Because they overspent on their houses.

With rising interest rates and home prices, a lot of people are spending a greater percentage of their income on housing. And it's not like rents have gone down either.

We bought 9 years ago and have a very comfortable PITI of around $2k per month. A younger couple just bought the house next door to us- it's essentially the exact same house- but the sale price was 30% more than ours and with higher interest, their mortgage is $1k more! And this isn't Bethesda or anything like that. I feel for families trying to buy a house these days.

Life is about choices. Either they could afford it and made the choice or they would have picked a cheaper house. Its time to live within your means and plan for things like inflation or unexpected expenses.

+1. And look, I get it. We've had tons of friends who made the choice to leave the DMV altogether the last couple years because the "cheaper" houses they could afford come with soul-sucking commutes or low-performing schools (and if you had a remote job, WTF would you live somewhere like Montgomery Village? you wouldn't). Times have changed and you need more money to make it here.

Do you mean in a neighborhood like we picked because it was affordable to us... right. I do live somewhere like you are describing. We have a very small 1000 square foot house and make it work just fine. Who do you think lives in these places? You think some of us don't? I don't worry about test scores or parental income as I'm not a snob about it. We supplement outside of school like good parents do and our kids do well academically. And, we aren't stress over money because we didn't overspend on housing and other things.

Sorry if you misunderstood- the friends I was referencing could afford very little in this area and it made no sense to stay. Remote or easily transportable jobs like teachers/nurses. It sound like you could afford to buy in this area, so you made a different choice! Life is all about choices!

(FWIW, our house is smaller than yours and ES has a Great Schools rating of a 5, I'm not sure why you're offended by my post?)

Anyway this is totally off track to the thread so signing off. Best of luck OP.

There are still close in houses that are under $500K but people want to pretend their schools are so much better. OP has a spending issue and not willing to reduce their expenses. They made a very bad house choice for starters and their other bills are high too. That is the point of this thread. OP isn't willing to make any changes so they are broke.

OP made a very bad house choice? Are you nuts? OP made the best financial move of her life with that house. We all wish we could time it as perfectly as OP and create 400k in equity with a zero down payment in just 3 years. She can sell and go back to renting if she wants with 400k in her pocket. She can also enjoy it. She obviously can afford it. She just can’t afford a dog or a second car or a vacation in addition

+1

I'm completely with PP. This is a hard time right now for OP because of the confluence of PK expenses plus medical expenses. Buying a fixer upper that's a good size for her family, including an aging parent, is already paying off and will continue to do so.

Unfortunately having a family member with significant SN means some trade offs, like sacrificing family vacations and college savings, but it sounds like the extremely tight budget now should ease at least somewhat once the older child goes to school.

OP, I agree with your thoughts on asking the SN board. Given you have significant expenses directly related to disability or medical needs for your child, look at medical tax write offs and any local or state level programs designed for disability related childcare. Your county's special education coordinator that you're probably already in touch with for preschool might have some resources for you.

I also agree with asking your dad for some amount as rent. While he doesn't have a large income, he should expect to pay some amount towards housing.

Lastly, you should be able to open a HELOC; they do exist. I would strongly advise to only plan to use it in case of dire emergency since it will put you in the hole, but since you don't have any savings, you need to have that backup plan in place. In your current situation, I would spread paying off the CC over the lifetime of the 0% interest period and focus on building some level of liquid savings during that time.

Good advice

[Anonymous]

Fin Reg here and I'm 15 years into my career. If I spend another 15 here my pension is projected to be around 115/year. I've dialed back on other retirement savings (not maxing, just contributing enough for the max) and they should be about $2M. Then with DH's retirement savings from his non-gov job there's a very real chance our standard of living will go way up in retirement, especially if we downsize our house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fin Reg here and I'm 15 years into my career. If I spend another 15 here my pension is projected to be around 115/year. I've dialed back on other retirement savings (not maxing, just contributing enough for the match) and they should be about $2M. Then with DH's retirement savings from his non-gov job there's a very real chance our standard of living will go way up in retirement, especially if we downsize our house.

sorry, typo

[Anonymous]

We are also $260k with two kids ages 2 and 4.

Our childcare is $1600/mo
Our PITI is $2800/mo
No CC debt

Feels really manageable to us.

[Anonymous]

Because in this economy, especially in this area, that’s barely enough for two people to survive. Have you considered seeking a promotion or a raise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are also $260k with two kids ages 2 and 4.

Our childcare is $1600/mo
Our PITI is $2800/mo
No CC debt

Feels really manageable to us.

Where do you live? Do you pay for full time child care for your kids? There is no way you could only pay $1,600 a month in the DC area for full time child care for a 2 and 4 year old. It would likely be closer to $4,000 a month, minimum. Honestly you probably couldn't even pay $1,600 a month for part time care for two kids in the DC area.

[Anonymous]

The answer is because you have a child that you want to provide very expensive therapies and special treatments for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are also $260k with two kids ages 2 and 4.

Our childcare is $1600/mo
Our PITI is $2800/mo
No CC debt

Feels really manageable to us.

Because you don't have a SN kid. SN kid's require extra money for childcare, medical treatments, etc. And most of those things are really not negotiable---therapies and treatments and the right preschool/childcare can make a huge difference in the SN kid reaching their full potential later in life---early years are key for development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The answer is because you have a child that you want to provide very expensive therapies and special treatments for.

I'd argue it's not really a "want". It's a need. Early intervention is key for helping a SN kid reach their "full potential" (whatever level that may be). It's not just something you can put off for 5 years until you have more $$ by then the opportunity door to help fully most likely will have closed.
Really it seems so many cannot understand SN kids and the extra costs and struggles associated with it. Or have any empathy for someone living with it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are also $260k with two kids ages 2 and 4.

Our childcare is $1600/mo
Our PITI is $2800/mo
No CC debt

Feels really manageable to us.

Where do you live? Do you pay for full time child care for your kids? There is no way you could only pay $1,600 a month in the DC area for full time child care for a 2 and 4 year old. It would likely be closer to $4,000 a month, minimum. Honestly you probably couldn't even pay $1,600 a month for part time care for two kids in the DC area.

I mean, you could definitely get care for 2 kids for under $4k in the DMV if you use an in-home daycare or nonprofit center. But yeah, we currently pay $1600 for our 4yo so hard to see how you could get care foe two at that cost!!

Anyway, that PP either did not read beyond the title or is trolling because, as OP explained, they have a SN kid that requires a lot more care.

[Anonymous]

Oh kids…

DW and I make 250k and feel like we’re living the dream. We were honest with each other than with our line of work, kids didn’t make sense time-wise or financially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh kids…

DW and I make 250k and feel like we’re living the dream. We were honest with each other than with our line of work, kids didn’t make sense time-wise or financially.

You can have just one child. No FOMO on parenting but it doesn't take over your life quite as much.

[Anonymous]

If I only made 260k I would also feel like I had no money

[Anonymous]

What daycare is 3500 per month?? Even for two kids?