Morbidly obese SIL

[Anonymous]

Avoidant restrictive food intake disorder. It's a mental disorder.

Here's a story - https://torontosun.com/news/weird/british-woman-eats-only-fries-potato-chips-and-chicken-nuggets

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Avoidant restrictive food intake disorder. It's a mental disorder.

Here's a story - https://torontosun.com/news/weird/british-woman-eats-only-fries-potato-chips-and-chicken-nuggets

and op has no business being involved. None.

[Anonymous]

The abuse and name calling here is shocking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some of you seem to have a low opinion of BIL too. In defense of him. He never minded when she was overweight etc. It was only when she developed all these health issues including diabetes and now neuropathy etc that he is starting to panic. Plus combined with his own health woes that could be vastly improved with diet.

Agreed it would not end well if we sat down with SIL. If I were carrying an extra 150 lbs I'd be sitting on the couch too. But something has got to give.

My God you are a truly awful, awful person. I hope your poor SIL stays incredibly far away from you, as do her kids. You are not a safe person to be near.

Actually I now feel sorry for your entire family that has to be near you.

You have a psychological problem. The word "fat" equals "shaming" to you. They are not one and the same. My father died of alcoholism and heavy smoking. (I also have obese family members.) I was very young. I resented him for years for choosing cigarettes and alcohol over being in his children's lives. I'm over that now because it's been so long. I wish I had had the insight to tell him that when he was still alive. SIL is killing herself. She will not live to see her grandchildren. Someone should speak up. The word "fat" is not the word "disgusting" any more than "alcoholism" or "lung cancer" are.

Hey, get yourself to a therapist for your horrific psychological problems and stay far, far away from your poor SIL. You are a genuinely awful person.

I'm not the OP. I'm also not calling you horrific or genuinely awful or truly awful or any of the other things you seem to think make you look healthy. They don't. They make you look, er, like all the things you are saying....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people don’t like to cook. They can do a delivery like Mighty Meals in the DMV. I would work on having healthy dinners first for a while and then see if they would like to learn some simple breakfasts or lunch ideas.

If she has a limited diet, she may have sensory issues. I would not try to make her try all new food AND learn to cook/ plan at the same time. That’s a lot of change. Also she has to want to change. Maybe her DH could just get some healthy delivery for himself.

OP here. Mighty meals is great. Part of the problem with SIL is that she literally won't eat anything but 5-6 things. Certain brand of frozen pizza, Tyson's frozen tenders, ballpark hotdogs, pepsi and captain crunch. That's it.

Why is this your business? You love the fact that you are shaming her here. You're a horrible person.

+1 And I agree with another poster that it seems like OP is nothing but a fat-shaming TROLL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The abuse and name calling here is shocking.

Yes, agree OP is awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some of you seem to have a low opinion of BIL too. In defense of him. He never minded when she was overweight etc. It was only when she developed all these health issues including diabetes and now neuropathy etc that he is starting to panic. Plus combined with his own health woes that could be vastly improved with diet.

Agreed it would not end well if we sat down with SIL. If I were carrying an extra 150 lbs I'd be sitting on the couch too. But something has got to give.

My God you are a truly awful, awful person. I hope your poor SIL stays incredibly far away from you, as do her kids. You are not a safe person to be near.

Actually I now feel sorry for your entire family that has to be near you.

You have a psychological problem. The word "fat" equals "shaming" to you. They are not one and the same. My father died of alcoholism and heavy smoking. (I also have obese family members.) I was very young. I resented him for years for choosing cigarettes and alcohol over being in his children's lives. I'm over that now because it's been so long. I wish I had had the insight to tell him that when he was still alive. SIL is killing herself. She will not live to see her grandchildren. Someone should speak up. The word "fat" is not the word "disgusting" any more than "alcoholism" or "lung cancer" are.

Hey, get yourself to a therapist for your horrific psychological problems and stay far, far away from your poor SIL. You are a genuinely awful person.

I'm not the OP. I'm also not calling you horrific or genuinely awful or truly awful or any of the other things you seem to think make you look healthy. They don't. They make you look, er, like all the things you are saying....

You just don’t like the fact that we see you for what you are. Sad.

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry for the dh, but OP needs to butt out. You are just going to make the SIL dig into her position.

Lots of us who were raised in the 70s, 80s and 90s were fed junk food and had mom's who hated cooking and working. I assume SIL was one of those kids.

It's taken me years to learn how to cook so the food actually tastes good, maybe a decade overall. If you don't learn when you are younger, it's harder when you have a job and aren't a natural cook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Some of you seem to have a low opinion of BIL too. In defense of him. He never minded when she was overweight etc. It was only when she developed all these health issues including diabetes and now neuropathy etc that he is starting to panic. Plus combined with his own health woes that could be vastly improved with diet.

Agreed it would not end well if we sat down with SIL. If I were carrying an extra 150 lbs I'd be sitting on the couch too. But something has got to give.

And therein lies the problem. He didn’t care for YEARS that his wife has a diet of five things and sat on the couch all the time. Really, there is a much bigger issue here and your failure to see this is really obtuse.

SIL sounds mentally ill and to be actively influencing the child to eat the same low nutrition foods.

BIL needs to focus on his own health, that IS completely under his control. He should also offer healthy nutritious food to the child. That way there will be one positive outcome from the situation, and he will be a positive model for health for the child. Who knows, perhaps his wife will be inspired too, but, unlikely. In the meantime, his child will have ONE parent likely to live a longer life. He needs something like Al Anon or NAMI to learn to detach and address his own health issues first, oxygen mask and all that. If SIL has a diabetes diagnosis, she must see a doctor. It sounds like her underlying mental illness (or perhaps autism?) may have been exacerbated by isolation and menopause?

[Anonymous]

Honestly folks, calm down. Lots of us were raised on junk food by moms who hated to cook. My mom tried to indoctrinate me into "cooking is bad and for poor people" and it worked for many years, until I just couldn't lose or maintain weight on the standard american diet.

I'm in my 50s and have a large number of friends who hate cooking or brag they can't cook. I learned how in my 30s and 40s, and my dh also cooks, but we had to eat some pretty awful meals as I learned to cook without premade ingredients.

It's not so much a mental disorder, at least for me, but how I was conditioned in childhood.

[Anonymous]

I believe, OP, that you are trying to help. Unfortunately you are not in any position to do so. Supporting your brother-in-law is all you can do. Encourage him to take control of the food options for himself and his children and perhaps his wife will come along. It’s sad and I’m sure you want to help your nieces and nephews, but there’s just no place to do it here.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. I haven’t read all the pages of comments. Just came here to say that if she’s been eating this way for many years and she spends most of her time watching TV, an intervention for just the food part is not going to work. She needs to change her life a lot to become healthy, and she and your brother need to be partners in this and it’s going to be hard. I’m no expert but l think they should talk with their family doctor first together to make a plan, and work on it and adjust as needed. Some combo of getting active and meal planning. If she is depressed, therapy for her too but your brother needs to be engaged too. Both of their health is going downhill and they both need to take responsibility for it.

You can help by supporting your brother - something like weekly check in calls if he likes that idea. And if you’re good at meal planning, maybe help them with that to get started, but only if specifically asked by both to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Avoidant restrictive food intake disorder. It's a mental disorder.

Here's a story - https://torontosun.com/news/weird/british-woman-eats-only-fries-potato-chips-and-chicken-nuggets

and op has no business being involved. None.

Who reports to CPS? Do people call CPS on themselves? Kids can't live on pizza, hot dogs, and Pepsi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Avoidant restrictive food intake disorder. It's a mental disorder.

Here's a story - https://torontosun.com/news/weird/british-woman-eats-only-fries-potato-chips-and-chicken-nuggets

and op has no business being involved. None.

Who reports to CPS? Do people call CPS on themselves? Kids can't live on pizza, hot dogs, and Pepsi.

Kid has apparently managed to live until high school on what SIL is feeding, so maybe this should have been addressed sooner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hate to break it to some of the smug people on here, but my kids also eat mostly processed food, lots of pizza, love nuggets, pasta, avoid veggies. And they’re teens and they’re rail thin. This is not as simple as saying that “junk” = obese. This isn’t a black and white issue, much less a moral one.

Ha ha, I am chuckling at this post. Many teens can gorge themselves on junk food and not gain weight. They are growing. SIL is a middle aged woman. Big difference.

Agree. Growing teens are generally rail thin, even if they eat bacon fat. The problem is when they stop growing and yet continue to eat processed foods. I've watched rail thin teens become plump twenty-somethings with cheekbones and jawlines lost in a swelling of neck and face fat. My own ex-H was like that too, and he believed he could keep eating chips and junk food without ever exercising and without gaining weight because he was a skinny teen. In his 50s now he's been battling his growing gut for nearly 2 decades and on the cusp of diabetes.

Agree. And the issue here is not eating pizza, nuggets or pasta. It’s how this food is made. If it’s processed there are likely lots of additives and chemicals in them. That stuff rots you from the inside out. It leads to gut issues that lead to all types of other issues.

Pizza, nuggets, pasta that is actually made out of real, non gmo FOOD, not chemicals is great, but the FDA allows all types of straight up chemical crap in what we call “food” in America.

“Gut issues” is “alternative health” woo and the fact that you quoted “non-GMO” means you know nothing. Oops.

I’m not that poster but wow, you like to show off your ignorance, don’t you? Go educate yourself on the current studies on intestinal bacteria and obesity. You are wildly behind the times.

No. You are on the MLM and DO side of “the times.”