Anyone facing jealous friends now that your kids are in private school?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We went through this a couple of times with both kids. There is jealousy and anger involved, especially if you tell them it is because of substandard MCPS.

We told people we wanted religious element in education and the satisfied them. But know that they are still steaming about it. One time I posted something on Facebook about common core and how I am glad my kids don't deal with it, and this rabid mom attacked me. She is one who asked my why I pulled my daughter out of MCPS before anyone. She also seemed happy to hear that it was religious reasons. But now she knows there are other benefits we enjoy and she is angry.

You can’t see how insulting their school choice would upset them?

I don’t see how exercising your right to choose —what you consider—a better school for your child is insulting.

My take is, it’s better to lose their phone number…only hang out with those who are happy for you.

Ugh. Private school isn't a right, it's a privilege.

No, but the freedom to choose where to educate your child is a right, whether your choice is religious, homeschooling, or Sidwell.

Actually it’s not.

Kind of a lot of SCOTUS decisions say it is. Why do you think it’s not?

PP's point is not a legal one, but a practical one. Telling someone who cannot afford something (or whose child was not admitted) that they have the right to choose it is .. silly and insensitive.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:We are a long term (10+ year) public school family that sends our kids to private high schools.

People get very, very weird about it (which makes sense). It eats at their own parenting insecurities---clearly our action of spending $50K for school implies that we (people they like and respect) thought public was not good enough for our kids.
Funny thing is that the insecurity definitely goes both ways (I sometimes regret not staying in public and there are many things about public that I miss).

So we don't talk about it. At all. Or only in the most generic ways. I never, ever say anything that could be conceived as bragging. I stick to all other kid issues: extracurriculars, sports, behavior challenges, friend issues, etc.
There is lots to talk about with ever delving into the school topic.
It works and we've maintained strong friendships.

We are a public school family and just went through this whole application process and ultimately decided to stay in public. DH and I wanted to send the kids to private but they were so tied to the community and friends that the kids did not want to switch.

The kids who switched stayed in touch for a few years but eventually stopped hanging out. If we see them around, of course we talk and are friendly but it wasn’t the same as hanging out in groups right after school, eating lunch at school, doing activities, etc. We promised our kids they can still be friends but they weren’t convinced.

The people who switched were often vocal about their dissatisfaction and that is why they switched. The ones we know are definitely vocal about it, more because they want us to switch with them. We can easily afford to switch.

We are one of the families who made the switch. I had been quite vocal about my dissatisfaction with our public school even before we decided to make the switch. My being vocal does not come from wanting others to switch, but is is genuine frustration at various policies. It kind of makes sense that the ones who switch are more vocal about it because they probably had a worse fit. They left because they were hoping that public school would work but for whatever reason it was a bad experience for their family.

However, now that we have switched, I'm trying to be sensitive to other families who used to be vocal complainers right along with me. I listen to their complaining and try not to pile on or say how much better the private school experience as been for us. They either cannot afford to switch or have other priorities, which I can respect.

This is how I handle things with my neighborhood friends. We are one of the only families sending kids to independent schools, most send their kids the local public or magnet. Middle of the road MCPS schools. Here's the thing - if your neighbor is driving a beat up 1999 Corolla, would you consider it rude to roll up in your brand new 2023 Corolla and brag about all the bells and whistles? Both cars will get us to work in one piece, but clearly one is a better ride. There is no need to say anything about it.

I do also support all the fundraising activity that the local public school does because even though I don't send my child to their school, it is a neighborhood school and I support the community.

[Anonymous]

Actually I'm pretty sure my friends feel sorry for me, with all the tuition money we're paying, though they're too polite to say it to my face. I sense that they feel comfortable that they're doing what's best for their family, so our decision is not really their concern. I wish that public would have worked out for our kid - private is definitely a sacrifice for us.
- "beat up 1999 Corolla" driver

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ever since my kids were recently admitted to private schools, many friends in my W cluster have been making snippy comments about me sending my kids to private school. Has anyone else faced a similar situation?

Yes. Parents, moms especially, are crazy competitive in this area. If you are wealthier, or choose to send your kids to private school, except their scorn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t assume it’s jealousy - that’s a pretty self-absorbed assumption. Maybe if you weren’t so self-involved you would see the situation a bit more clearly.

No, people are jealous...they hate those that have more than them--more money, more successful kids, more athletic kids, better looking kids...not PC but the truth.

[Anonymous]

Not friends but family is snarky about it.

[Anonymous]

What a pathetic and unnecessarily resurrected thread. Nobody gives a flying f_ck about your kids and their private schools. The obsession over schools on DCUM is exhausting.

[Anonymous]

OP, you probably won’t stay friends with them, even if you try. Public school communities have massive chips on their shoulders.

[Anonymous]

Well, I’ll be jealous if your private school kid got into Harvard and mine doesn’t. I don’t care if your kid attends private school in general. What’s the big deal about that?

[Anonymous]

I've lost friends over this. While I don't judge their schooling choices, they feel the need to continuously trash my decision to send my kids to private school like it has anything to do with them. With one person, I had to completely cut ties because even though I identified that schooling wasn't a topic we could discuss - she legit continuously took opportunities to trash private schools...to the point where I asked her if doing so made her feel better about her decisions. With actual friends, you should be able to discuss things in your life like school choice. But you'd be surprised how the topic of private schools can bring out people's insane insecurities.

[Anonymous]

I think people start to get very jealous in their 40s. whether it’s a private school, vacation home, safari vacation etc…other people seem to not take it as well as they did in their 30s.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the school district. In Bethesda/Chevy Chase most of the kids going to private are special needs or come from snooty families. On the DC side of the border, it's people that want a good education for their kids without the fear of violence. No judgment. Families try to do what's best for their children. Certainly not jealous of families that choose private school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the school district. In Bethesda/Chevy Chase most of the kids going to private are special needs or come from snooty families. On the DC side of the border, it's people that want a good education for their kids without the fear of violence. No judgment. Families I try to do what's best for their children. Certainly not jealous of families that choose private school

Lol, dude. You just called all private school families either snooty or special needs, but cool, no judgment! None at all! Carry on! K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the school district. In Bethesda/Chevy Chase most of the kids going to private are special needs or come from snooty families. On the DC side of the border, it's people that want a good education for their kids without the fear of violence. No judgment. Families I try to do what's best for their children. Certainly not jealous of families that choose private school

Lol, dude. You just called all private school families either snooty or special needs, but cool, no judgment! None at all! Carry on! K.

And that’s obviously not even remotely accurate, given that the special needs schools are tiny. So small. So, snooty it is!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the school district. In Bethesda/Chevy Chase most of the kids going to private are special needs or come from snooty families. On the DC side of the border, it's people that want a good education for their kids without the fear of violence. No judgment. Families try to do what's best for their children. Certainly not jealous of families that choose private school

If you are wealthy why wouldn't you send your kids to private schools?

Is the money better spent on fancy German and Italian sports cars? If you have excess cash flow after savings, why not? I want to give my kids the best of everything. I still save and have a high net worth by even country club standards.