Why does my partner pay $2400 a month child support for one kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not divorced but is this is a normal amount? Or does this mean that the ex wife makes a lot less? Is Child support even owed if you and your Dh make similar income?

sounds like there are big expenses like childcare or tuition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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The point is for many of us it doesn't cost anything additional to have kids living in our home. You don't need a larger residence. We have a 1000 square foot house and do just fine in it. You want a larger house. There is want vs. need. If you as Mom choose to have a nicer lifestyle than you can afford, you shouldn't expect Dad to pay for it. I choose to spend my money on my child so they have a nicer lifestyle than I do. Its all about priorities. You may need to live in a 3000 square foot house paid for by your ex but reality is 1000 is just fine.

And for many of you, it does!

Want and need is meaningless.

Child support is pegged to income, not to some mythical "want vs. need". It's not about how much a child need. It's about the fact that the state has decreed that your child is entitled to a certain percentage of your income, whatever that income is. If a non-custodial parent makes a million dollars, the child will get a percentage of that. If that parent makes 80K, the child will get a percentage of that. These two children eat the same # of calories a day and can be fed for the same amount, yet their child support numbers will be vastly different. Want and need does not come into it.

Beyond all that, a child has a right to support by both parents. I can’t see why a loving parent would want their child to have LESS at the other parent’s home.

Same, but I understand why shitty stepmoms do.

Oh, bugger off.

There are plenty of shitty Kim’s out there who don’t give dad a say and then expect the stepmom to just keep her mouth shut when $ that should be going into their household/future is being chucked down the drain by the ex’s poor decision making/life choices.

And there you have it, in a nutshell.

"This money should be mine and instead it is going to somebody else. Waaahhhh."

The stepmom can keep her mouth shut or not. It doesn't matter. She's not the party to the child support action. She has to make do with whatever is left.

Did you actually read what I wrote?

This is about toxic mothers who think they get to have all of the say AND are entitled to the max amount of money they can squeeze from the dad.

I get that the law is the law. And if there is an ability to truly coparent, then I have no issue. But if mom obstructs the dad’s ability to express his opinio/weigh in on matters, then I think he has every right to mitigate the amount of financial hemorrhaging he is subject to - within the law.

And, in our particular situation, my opinion most definitely matters to DH. We have very difficult discussions about these matters - and he actually cares about how these decisions affect our future.

so your husband had decided to reduce the amout he supports his kids to punish his ex wife. is that right?

Nope.

He’s paying exactly what the calculator says he should pay.

But you can bet that we have conversations about what financial support looks like once cs is over.

so no support for college because you don’t like their mom? that’s cold.

Did I say that?

No. But support once a legal adult is now on his and, in part, my terms. Money won’t just be drained out with no boundaries and no input from their father. Which is the way their mother always wanted it. After 18 it is a different discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The crazy thing is that when he has more kids, each won’t get $2400. I make a similar amount and bring home 3k a paycheck (after maxing out retirement and my health insurance)

I know dh and I don’t spend that on our kids a month. We have the same house and cars we did prekids, so those costs would be the same regardless of kids.

Same with us. It costs us no more in housing or electricity as we'd have the house regardless.

Are you a single Mom? Without a child I could live in a 1 bedroom apartment. With a child we need two bedrooms. The cost goes up quite a bit.

No, you don’t “need” that. You want it.

So your argument is that OP should tell her BF “go to court and reduce your payment. I don’t care if your ex and child have to move into a 1 bedroom apartment or move away from your child’s school and friends.”

That is correct. Those are also not the only options. Sharing a larger space with a roommate is another option.

Omg is this the omnipresent poster who is always roused by larger child support news? Every time someone mentions they get over $500 in child support some poster comes in to say that’s too much bla blah.

No, I rarely post about child support. I also explained my own a few pages back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The point is for many of us it doesn't cost anything additional to have kids living in our home. You don't need a larger residence. We have a 1000 square foot house and do just fine in it. You want a larger house. There is want vs. need. If you as Mom choose to have a nicer lifestyle than you can afford, you shouldn't expect Dad to pay for it. I choose to spend my money on my child so they have a nicer lifestyle than I do. Its all about priorities. You may need to live in a 3000 square foot house paid for by your ex but reality is 1000 is just fine.

And for many of you, it does!

Want and need is meaningless.

Child support is pegged to income, not to some mythical "want vs. need". It's not about how much a child need. It's about the fact that the state has decreed that your child is entitled to a certain percentage of your income, whatever that income is. If a non-custodial parent makes a million dollars, the child will get a percentage of that. If that parent makes 80K, the child will get a percentage of that. These two children eat the same # of calories a day and can be fed for the same amount, yet their child support numbers will be vastly different. Want and need does not come into it.

Beyond all that, a child has a right to support by both parents. I can’t see why a loving parent would want their child to have LESS at the other parent’s home.

Same, but I understand why shitty stepmoms do.

Oh, bugger off.

There are plenty of shitty Kim’s out there who don’t give dad a say and then expect the stepmom to just keep her mouth shut when $ that should be going into their household/future is being chucked down the drain by the ex’s poor decision making/life choices.

And there you have it, in a nutshell.

"This money should be mine and instead it is going to somebody else. Waaahhhh."

The stepmom can keep her mouth shut or not. It doesn't matter. She's not the party to the child support action. She has to make do with whatever is left.

Did you actually read what I wrote?

This is about toxic mothers who think they get to have all of the say AND are entitled to the max amount of money they can squeeze from the dad.

I get that the law is the law. And if there is an ability to truly coparent, then I have no issue. But if mom obstructs the dad’s ability to express his opinio/weigh in on matters, then I think he has every right to mitigate the amount of financial hemorrhaging he is subject to - within the law.

And, in our particular situation, my opinion most definitely matters to DH. We have very difficult discussions about these matters - and he actually cares about how these decisions affect our future.

so your husband had decided to reduce the amout he supports his kids to punish his ex wife. is that right?

Nope.

He’s paying exactly what the calculator says he should pay.

But you can bet that we have conversations about what financial support looks like once cs is over.

so no support for college because you don’t like their mom? that’s cold.

Did I say that?

No. But support once a legal adult is now on his and, in part, my terms. Money won’t just be drained out with no boundaries and no input from their father. Which is the way their mother always wanted it. After 18 it is a different discussion.

you have a massive chip on your shoulder and sound like you’re salivating over the chance to manipulate with money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be glad he supports his child. If this bothers you even a little, this isn’t your scene.

Stepmom here.

Stepmom here, as well - and I’d say it depends.

DH’s ex is completely toxic and overbearing. He never got any say in how his kids were raised when they were married and it didn’t change after the divorce. Her ability to actually co-parent is zero.

In this instance, he is doing the honorable and stand up thing and paying his calculated cs - as well as extras for which he gets no actual/effective say.

When they turn 18, he’s done, and I 100% agree with that stance.

OP - I think this situation depends. Are you guys in it for the long haul? How old are the kids? What are the laws in your state? And, most importantly - does he get equal say in the parenting realm?

If yes to the latter and he is paying what is deemed “fair” by the state, you need to step back and let this play out. If there are toxic dynamics at play AND you guys are planning a future together, I would say voice your concerns and start having the hard discussions about how this situation will impact your future.

The day the youngest turned 18 was amazing. Once they turn 18, you define the relationship and money. No more having to go through mom and the games. Allow him to be done at 18. I encouraged the relationship to continue and it was a huge mistake. It was all about money and Mom kept calling and demanding without producing bills/statements as to the need so we could pay directly. Eventually we learned to say no. Funny, after we started saying no and setting clear boundaries she became much nicer. But, she destroyed the relationships and the kids are paying the price now given how their lives have turned out, especially in terms of their own relationships.

This times a billion.

And all of you biomoms out there who want to call us stepmomsters should take heed whilst you’re busy alienating your kids from their dad.

Mom wanted to call ALL the shots when they were underage? She can reap what she sowed when they are grown. Period.

I don’t think you’re making a good case for stepmothers here ...

Ok. Can you give me a reason why the failings/manipulations of the mother constantly go unheeded?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be glad he supports his child. If this bothers you even a little, this isn’t your scene.

Stepmom here.

Stepmom here, as well - and I’d say it depends.

DH’s ex is completely toxic and overbearing. He never got any say in how his kids were raised when they were married and it didn’t change after the divorce. Her ability to actually co-parent is zero.

In this instance, he is doing the honorable and stand up thing and paying his calculated cs - as well as extras for which he gets no actual/effective say.

When they turn 18, he’s done, and I 100% agree with that stance.

OP - I think this situation depends. Are you guys in it for the long haul? How old are the kids? What are the laws in your state? And, most importantly - does he get equal say in the parenting realm?

If yes to the latter and he is paying what is deemed “fair” by the state, you need to step back and let this play out. If there are toxic dynamics at play AND you guys are planning a future together, I would say voice your concerns and start having the hard discussions about how this situation will impact your future.

The day the youngest turned 18 was amazing. Once they turn 18, you define the relationship and money. No more having to go through mom and the games. Allow him to be done at 18. I encouraged the relationship to continue and it was a huge mistake. It was all about money and Mom kept calling and demanding without producing bills/statements as to the need so we could pay directly. Eventually we learned to say no. Funny, after we started saying no and setting clear boundaries she became much nicer. But, she destroyed the relationships and the kids are paying the price now given how their lives have turned out, especially in terms of their own relationships.

This times a billion.

And all of you biomoms out there who want to call us stepmomsters should take heed whilst you’re busy alienating your kids from their dad.

Mom wanted to call ALL the shots when they were underage? She can reap what she sowed when they are grown. Period.

This is what stepmothers like you wanted all along - to have him forget all about his children and pretend that you and your children are his only family. If you encourage your husband to turn his back on his own children when they turn 18 because you don't like their mother, you are a bad person and those children likely sense how you feel about them. In the future when your husband wonders why he isn't invited to college graduations, weddings, baby showers, holiday family gatherings, etc. its because the two of your aren't crap. But you will be there whispering in his ear that his ex turned the ingrates against him and he has done nothing wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be glad he supports his child. If this bothers you even a little, this isn’t your scene.

Stepmom here.

Stepmom here, as well - and I’d say it depends.

DH’s ex is completely toxic and overbearing. He never got any say in how his kids were raised when they were married and it didn’t change after the divorce. Her ability to actually co-parent is zero.

In this instance, he is doing the honorable and stand up thing and paying his calculated cs - as well as extras for which he gets no actual/effective say.

When they turn 18, he’s done, and I 100% agree with that stance.

OP - I think this situation depends. Are you guys in it for the long haul? How old are the kids? What are the laws in your state? And, most importantly - does he get equal say in the parenting realm?

If yes to the latter and he is paying what is deemed “fair” by the state, you need to step back and let this play out. If there are toxic dynamics at play AND you guys are planning a future together, I would say voice your concerns and start having the hard discussions about how this situation will impact your future.

The day the youngest turned 18 was amazing. Once they turn 18, you define the relationship and money. No more having to go through mom and the games. Allow him to be done at 18. I encouraged the relationship to continue and it was a huge mistake. It was all about money and Mom kept calling and demanding without producing bills/statements as to the need so we could pay directly. Eventually we learned to say no. Funny, after we started saying no and setting clear boundaries she became much nicer. But, she destroyed the relationships and the kids are paying the price now given how their lives have turned out, especially in terms of their own relationships.

This times a billion.

And all of you biomoms out there who want to call us stepmomsters should take heed whilst you’re busy alienating your kids from their dad.

Mom wanted to call ALL the shots when they were underage? She can reap what she sowed when they are grown. Period.

I don’t think you’re making a good case for stepmothers here ...

Ok. Can you give me a reason why the failings/manipulations of the mother constantly go unheeded?

unheeded by whom? the court ordered the child support be paid to the mother. you just seem like you can’t stand the fact that she gets to make decisions about what you perceive as your money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s hurtful is when you have bio kids getting way way less than a step kid because there’s not enough money left over. Total difference in living situation between siblings.

I just don’t really get child support between two people who have 50/50 custody and make similar amounts. Why is it even needed?

Well, because they are ALL the biological kids of the father (in this case).

You are looking at it as "step-kids" getting less than "bio kids" but actually these kids all have an equal claim to their father's care, and his financial support. It is also true that the kids who are born first are treated differently by the courts. If the second marriage also ends in divorce, then child support on the "second batch" is determined after the "first batch" is removed, which tends to lesson the child support for the "second batch."

Basically, if you (general you) don't like it that your new partner is paying child support, then don't have kids with them. If you choose to partner with someone who already has children, then recognize that those kids have just as much claim to their father's resources as your "bio kids."

You are entirely missing the point of that post. If it is 50/50, then child needs an the same stuff in Dad's house as any other child would ask both parents have the same expenses. And, child support doesn't necessarily go to the child, it goes to the mother who decides how resources are spent. You can claim that's how it works and in theory it should and extra should be put away for other things or college but that's not how it works.

Even if a child is visiting every other weekend, they still need a bedroom, clothing and other things at Dad's house so Mom and Dad have equal extra housing costs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be glad he supports his child. If this bothers you even a little, this isn’t your scene.

Stepmom here.

Stepmom here, as well - and I’d say it depends.

DH’s ex is completely toxic and overbearing. He never got any say in how his kids were raised when they were married and it didn’t change after the divorce. Her ability to actually co-parent is zero.

In this instance, he is doing the honorable and stand up thing and paying his calculated cs - as well as extras for which he gets no actual/effective say.

When they turn 18, he’s done, and I 100% agree with that stance.

OP - I think this situation depends. Are you guys in it for the long haul? How old are the kids? What are the laws in your state? And, most importantly - does he get equal say in the parenting realm?

If yes to the latter and he is paying what is deemed “fair” by the state, you need to step back and let this play out. If there are toxic dynamics at play AND you guys are planning a future together, I would say voice your concerns and start having the hard discussions about how this situation will impact your future.

The day the youngest turned 18 was amazing. Once they turn 18, you define the relationship and money. No more having to go through mom and the games. Allow him to be done at 18. I encouraged the relationship to continue and it was a huge mistake. It was all about money and Mom kept calling and demanding without producing bills/statements as to the need so we could pay directly. Eventually we learned to say no. Funny, after we started saying no and setting clear boundaries she became much nicer. But, she destroyed the relationships and the kids are paying the price now given how their lives have turned out, especially in terms of their own relationships.

This times a billion.

And all of you biomoms out there who want to call us stepmomsters should take heed whilst you’re busy alienating your kids from their dad.

Mom wanted to call ALL the shots when they were underage? She can reap what she sowed when they are grown. Period.

I don’t think you’re making a good case for stepmothers here ...

Ok. Can you give me a reason why the failings/manipulations of the mother constantly go unheeded?

unheeded by whom? the court ordered the child support be paid to the mother. you just seem like you can’t stand the fact that she gets to make decisions about what you perceive as your money.

She wants to be the HBIC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not divorced but is this is a normal amount? Or does this mean that the ex wife makes a lot less? Is Child support even owed if you and your Dh make similar income?

sounds like there are big expenses like childcare or tuition.

Not always.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s hurtful is when you have bio kids getting way way less than a step kid because there’s not enough money left over. Total difference in living situation between siblings.

I just don’t really get child support between two people who have 50/50 custody and make similar amounts. Why is it even needed?

Well, because they are ALL the biological kids of the father (in this case).

You are looking at it as "step-kids" getting less than "bio kids" but actually these kids all have an equal claim to their father's care, and his financial support. It is also true that the kids who are born first are treated differently by the courts. If the second marriage also ends in divorce, then child support on the "second batch" is determined after the "first batch" is removed, which tends to lesson the child support for the "second batch."

Basically, if you (general you) don't like it that your new partner is paying child support, then don't have kids with them. If you choose to partner with someone who already has children, then recognize that those kids have just as much claim to their father's resources as your "bio kids."

You are entirely missing the point of that post. If it is 50/50, then child needs an the same stuff in Dad's house as any other child would ask both parents have the same expenses. And, child support doesn't necessarily go to the child, it goes to the mother who decides how resources are spent. You can claim that's how it works and in theory it should and extra should be put away for other things or college but that's not how it works.

Even if a child is visiting every other weekend, they still need a bedroom, clothing and other things at Dad's house so Mom and Dad have equal extra housing costs.

But not equal expenses for food, utilities, and incidentals. Those add up quickly.

[Anonymous]

Your partner or your boyfriend?
Are you the person that posted about coming last if your boyfriend has kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be glad he supports his child. If this bothers you even a little, this isn’t your scene.

Stepmom here.

Stepmom here, as well - and I’d say it depends.

DH’s ex is completely toxic and overbearing. He never got any say in how his kids were raised when they were married and it didn’t change after the divorce. Her ability to actually co-parent is zero.

In this instance, he is doing the honorable and stand up thing and paying his calculated cs - as well as extras for which he gets no actual/effective say.

When they turn 18, he’s done, and I 100% agree with that stance.

OP - I think this situation depends. Are you guys in it for the long haul? How old are the kids? What are the laws in your state? And, most importantly - does he get equal say in the parenting realm?

If yes to the latter and he is paying what is deemed “fair” by the state, you need to step back and let this play out. If there are toxic dynamics at play AND you guys are planning a future together, I would say voice your concerns and start having the hard discussions about how this situation will impact your future.

The day the youngest turned 18 was amazing. Once they turn 18, you define the relationship and money. No more having to go through mom and the games. Allow him to be done at 18. I encouraged the relationship to continue and it was a huge mistake. It was all about money and Mom kept calling and demanding without producing bills/statements as to the need so we could pay directly. Eventually we learned to say no. Funny, after we started saying no and setting clear boundaries she became much nicer. But, she destroyed the relationships and the kids are paying the price now given how their lives have turned out, especially in terms of their own relationships.

This times a billion.

And all of you biomoms out there who want to call us stepmomsters should take heed whilst you’re busy alienating your kids from their dad.

Mom wanted to call ALL the shots when they were underage? She can reap what she sowed when they are grown. Period.

I don’t think you’re making a good case for stepmothers here ...

Ok. Can you give me a reason why the failings/manipulations of the mother constantly go unheeded?

unheeded by whom? the court ordered the child support be paid to the mother. you just seem like you can’t stand the fact that she gets to make decisions about what you perceive as your money.

She wants to be the HBIC.

Unheeded in conversations like these - by people like you.

There are plenty of mothers who are just as bad as the proverbial “deadbeat” dad.

They are manipulative takers. And at some point, the father and his new spouse get sick of it and do what’s call drop the rope.

If you think that makes us bad people, go for it.

But, when a woman cheats on her husband, ends up divorced, refuses to give the dad a say in how parenting is going to happen (even though they have 50/50 custody), is fat and creates fat kids, spoils the kids to the point of entitlement, and you think everything is still the dad/stepmoms fault?

I can’t even give credence to what kind of person you think I am. Because obviously you have issues of your own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be glad he supports his child. If this bothers you even a little, this isn’t your scene.

Stepmom here.

Stepmom here, as well - and I’d say it depends.

DH’s ex is completely toxic and overbearing. He never got any say in how his kids were raised when they were married and it didn’t change after the divorce. Her ability to actually co-parent is zero.

In this instance, he is doing the honorable and stand up thing and paying his calculated cs - as well as extras for which he gets no actual/effective say.

When they turn 18, he’s done, and I 100% agree with that stance.

OP - I think this situation depends. Are you guys in it for the long haul? How old are the kids? What are the laws in your state? And, most importantly - does he get equal say in the parenting realm?

If yes to the latter and he is paying what is deemed “fair” by the state, you need to step back and let this play out. If there are toxic dynamics at play AND you guys are planning a future together, I would say voice your concerns and start having the hard discussions about how this situation will impact your future.

The day the youngest turned 18 was amazing. Once they turn 18, you define the relationship and money. No more having to go through mom and the games. Allow him to be done at 18. I encouraged the relationship to continue and it was a huge mistake. It was all about money and Mom kept calling and demanding without producing bills/statements as to the need so we could pay directly. Eventually we learned to say no. Funny, after we started saying no and setting clear boundaries she became much nicer. But, she destroyed the relationships and the kids are paying the price now given how their lives have turned out, especially in terms of their own relationships.

This times a billion.

And all of you biomoms out there who want to call us stepmomsters should take heed whilst you’re busy alienating your kids from their dad.

Mom wanted to call ALL the shots when they were underage? She can reap what she sowed when they are grown. Period.

I don’t think you’re making a good case for stepmothers here ...

Ok. Can you give me a reason why the failings/manipulations of the mother constantly go unheeded?

unheeded by whom? the court ordered the child support be paid to the mother. you just seem like you can’t stand the fact that she gets to make decisions about what you perceive as your money.

She wants to be the HBIC.

Unheeded in conversations like these - by people like you.

There are plenty of mothers who are just as bad as the proverbial “deadbeat” dad.

They are manipulative takers. And at some point, the father and his new spouse get sick of it and do what’s call drop the rope.

If you think that makes us bad people, go for it.

But, when a woman cheats on her husband, ends up divorced, refuses to give the dad a say in how parenting is going to happen (even though they have 50/50 custody), is fat and creates fat kids, spoils the kids to the point of entitlement, and you think everything is still the dad/stepmoms fault?

I can’t even give credence to what kind of person you think I am. Because obviously you have issues of your own.

You continue to give us a clearer picture of exactly who you are - a controlling, nasty, hateful woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be glad he supports his child. If this bothers you even a little, this isn’t your scene.

Stepmom here.

Stepmom here, as well - and I’d say it depends.

DH’s ex is completely toxic and overbearing. He never got any say in how his kids were raised when they were married and it didn’t change after the divorce. Her ability to actually co-parent is zero.

In this instance, he is doing the honorable and stand up thing and paying his calculated cs - as well as extras for which he gets no actual/effective say.

When they turn 18, he’s done, and I 100% agree with that stance.

OP - I think this situation depends. Are you guys in it for the long haul? How old are the kids? What are the laws in your state? And, most importantly - does he get equal say in the parenting realm?

If yes to the latter and he is paying what is deemed “fair” by the state, you need to step back and let this play out. If there are toxic dynamics at play AND you guys are planning a future together, I would say voice your concerns and start having the hard discussions about how this situation will impact your future.

The day the youngest turned 18 was amazing. Once they turn 18, you define the relationship and money. No more having to go through mom and the games. Allow him to be done at 18. I encouraged the relationship to continue and it was a huge mistake. It was all about money and Mom kept calling and demanding without producing bills/statements as to the need so we could pay directly. Eventually we learned to say no. Funny, after we started saying no and setting clear boundaries she became much nicer. But, she destroyed the relationships and the kids are paying the price now given how their lives have turned out, especially in terms of their own relationships.

This times a billion.

And all of you biomoms out there who want to call us stepmomsters should take heed whilst you’re busy alienating your kids from their dad.

Mom wanted to call ALL the shots when they were underage? She can reap what she sowed when they are grown. Period.

I don’t think you’re making a good case for stepmothers here ...

Ok. Can you give me a reason why the failings/manipulations of the mother constantly go unheeded?

unheeded by whom? the court ordered the child support be paid to the mother. you just seem like you can’t stand the fact that she gets to make decisions about what you perceive as your money.

She wants to be the HBIC.

Unheeded in conversations like these - by people like you.

There are plenty of mothers who are just as bad as the proverbial “deadbeat” dad.

They are manipulative takers. And at some point, the father and his new spouse get sick of it and do what’s call drop the rope.

If you think that makes us bad people, go for it.

But, when a woman cheats on her husband, ends up divorced, refuses to give the dad a say in how parenting is going to happen (even though they have 50/50 custody), is fat and creates fat kids, spoils the kids to the point of entitlement, and you think everything is still the dad/stepmoms fault?

I can’t even give credence to what kind of person you think I am. Because obviously you have issues of your own.

You continue to give us a clearer picture of exactly who you are - a controlling, nasty, hateful woman.

And the fact that you bolted the last half of that sentence - without even a hint of acknowledgement to the first half speaks volumes about you.

So, once again, your perception of who I am as a person is meaningless.