Reply to Why does my partner pay $2400 a month child support for one kid?

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Reply to "Why does my partner pay $2400 a month child support for one kid?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would be glad he supports his child.  If this bothers you even a little, this isn’t your scene.

Stepmom here. [/quote]

Stepmom here, as well - and I’d say it depends.

DH’s ex is completely toxic and overbearing. He never got any say in how his kids were raised when they were married and it didn’t change after the divorce. Her ability to actually co-parent is zero.

In this instance, he is doing the honorable and stand up thing and paying his calculated cs - as well as extras for which he gets no actual/effective say.

When they turn 18, he’s done, and I 100% agree with that stance.

OP - I think this situation depends. Are you guys in it for the long haul? How old are the kids? What are the laws in your state? And, most importantly - does he get equal say in the parenting realm?

If yes to the latter and he is paying what is deemed “fair” by the state, you need to step back and let this play out. If there are toxic dynamics at play AND you guys are planning a future together, I would say voice your concerns and start having the hard discussions about how this situation will impact your future. [/quote]

The day the youngest turned 18 was amazing.  Once they turn 18, you define the relationship and money.  No more having to go through mom and the games.  Allow him to be done at 18.  I encouraged the relationship to continue and it was a huge mistake.  It was all about money and Mom kept calling and demanding without producing bills/statements as to the need so we could pay directly.  Eventually we learned to say no.  Funny, after we started saying no and setting clear boundaries she became much nicer.   But, she destroyed the relationships and the kids are paying the price now given how their lives have turned out, especially in terms of their own relationships.[/quote]

This times a billion.

And all of you biomoms out there who want to call us stepmomsters should take heed whilst you’re busy alienating your kids from their dad.

Mom wanted to call ALL the shots when they were underage? She can reap what she sowed when they are grown. Period.[/quote]

I don’t think you’re making a good case for stepmothers here ...[/quote]

Ok. Can you give me a reason why the failings/manipulations of the mother constantly go unheeded? [/quote]

unheeded by whom? the court ordered the child support be paid to the mother. you just seem like you can’t stand the fact that she gets to make decisions about what you perceive as your money. [/quote]

She wants to be the HBIC. [/quote]

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