Inflexible, Perfectionist Parents, How Did You Relax Your Parenting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds that you clearly want the best for your kids.

As others have likely suggested (I don't have time to read the whole thread), it may be helpful to see a therapist. If you're reluctant to do this for yourself, you can think of it as being for the kids.

Best of luck.

Sorry, I missed the part where you said that you've already seen a therapist. It may be helpful to go again and to try meds.

Some of the posts here are harsh/overly judgmental. How is that helpful to OP or her kids?

It’s helpful because OP needs a complete 180, not a couple changes here and there.

Couldn't being harsh and overly judgmental just make OP defensive? Saying "OP needs a complete 180" is fine, but telling her that she's ruining her kids' childhoods (just from reading one post) is unnecessary.

People tried and OP wasn’t getting the hint, hence her saying that other moms are just blissfully ignorant.

[Anonymous]

“f it” I had a CBT shrink in my 20s who had me make that my mantra. I was so tightly wound that I thought one little thing slipping would spiral into some huge issue. And he taught me to just say “f it”. Like what happens if you don’t go to X, don’t clean X, don’t finish x today. It will be ok. You will move on. It will not spiral into disaster.

Now as an adult in my 40s and a parent -
1. My job won’t fire me today.
2. No one mistake with my kids will ruin them.
3. No one is looking at my house and yard as closely as I am.

Obviously you can’t just give up, but you can have some wiggle room to do nothing, eat take out, let your kids wear shoes a little too big or pants a little too short. Get your cleaning service back and consider it a head start and you can get in the corners with q tips after they leave.

[Anonymous]

OP needs a job. Her brain is obsessing over this useless nonsense because it doesn't have a real job to focus on. I was the same. No longer a SAHM, I'm a happy person with an outlet for the obsessive, detail-oriented part of my brain. And my kids eat garbage and watch too much TV sometimes so that I can get my work done or have a little peace. They're not complaining one bit, trust me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP needs a job. Her brain is obsessing over this useless nonsense because it doesn't have a real job to focus on. I was the same. No longer a SAHM, I'm a happy person with an outlet for the obsessive, detail-oriented part of my brain. And my kids eat garbage and watch too much TV sometimes so that I can get my work done or have a little peace. They're not complaining one bit, trust me.

I don't think mental illness is as easily remedied as just getting a job outside the house but I will say I would be a f'ing mess if I didn't get out of the house and go to work every day. That + therapy + meds and my OCD is much more manageable. I'm honestly pretty worried about what will happen to my mental health during my upcoming maternity leave.