Nanny Wants to socialize on weekends

[Anonymous]

The nanny has been living with you 6 years and is skipping out the door with her stuff instead of sticking it out any longer? This was a long time coming. I don’t think it was really just about seeing her friends vs sheltering in place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a hot mess. I think the OP is seriously taking advantage of this young woman’s inexperience. It’s too bad that she doesn’t seem to know that she needs to consult a lawyer.

I mean, OP is letting her resign because OP is concerned for her safety if her nanny is out socializing with strangers. I am 100% on OP's side here. I feel for the nanny, it's a shitty situation, but she chose where she lives. It's not like OP is asking her to take care of the kids on the weekend for free. She's supposed to be sheltering in place at her residence. She lives with OP. She has no other residence. OP isn't doing anything wrong here.

[Anonymous]

I think it's pretty obvious that all the people who are saying OP is horrible are nannies themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a hot mess. I think the OP is seriously taking advantage of this young woman’s inexperience. It’s too bad that she doesn’t seem to know that she needs to consult a lawyer.

I mean, OP is letting her resign because OP is concerned for her safety if her nanny is out socializing with strangers. I am 100% on OP's side here. I feel for the nanny, it's a shitty situation, but she chose where she lives. It's not like OP is asking her to take care of the kids on the weekend for free. She's supposed to be sheltering in place at her residence. She lives with OP. She has no other residence. OP isn't doing anything wrong here.

$5 says if the nanny does anything but hide in her bedroom all weekend, she gets roped into helping with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's pretty obvious that all the people who are saying OP is horrible are nannies themselves.

Nope. I’m one of them, working parent of two kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP sorry so many people, or one really bitter person, is bashing you. Under normal conditions, YES, of course it would be crazy to not allow someone out of the house to hang out with friends and then to return. But these aren't normal conditions.

Thank you
Yes it feels like one person just keeps repeating themselves [/quote

There are at least two of us - and likely many many more. It's not about bitterness -- it's about humanity, decency, fairness, things like that. If the OP had even voiced the tiniest concern about this young woman's well-being -- unable to have direct contact with her friends and family because the OP's well-being matters more -- it would be easier to view this more charitably. That people chime in viewing the young woman's needs as "selfish" vs "healthy" only serves to fan the flames.

There are plenty of other young people out there that are obeying the shelter in place orders and are not having direct contact with their friends and family. I don't see why the nanny's situation is any different from them? It sounds like there are a lot of people on here who are not obeying shelter in place/stay at home rules and don't understand how social distancing/self isolation work. YOU, my friends, are the reason that the number of deaths continues to increase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a hot mess. I think the OP is seriously taking advantage of this young woman’s inexperience. It’s too bad that she doesn’t seem to know that she needs to consult a lawyer.

I mean, OP is letting her resign because OP is concerned for her safety if her nanny is out socializing with strangers. I am 100% on OP's side here. I feel for the nanny, it's a shitty situation, but she chose where she lives. It's not like OP is asking her to take care of the kids on the weekend for free. She's supposed to be sheltering in place at her residence. She lives with OP. She has no other residence. OP isn't doing anything wrong here.

$5 says if the nanny does anything but hide in her bedroom all weekend, she gets roped into helping with the kids.

Until OP's actual nanny chimes in, you need to stop making these stupid assumptions about her being an indentured slave. Anyway, it sounds like OP and nanny came to an agreement. The nanny is leaving, going to live with friends, and collect unemployment. Hell, DH has friends who voluntarily were furloughed because they end up making more money on unemployment than they would have if they were still working. It's not like the nanny is going to be living in poverty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a hot mess. I think the OP is seriously taking advantage of this young woman’s inexperience. It’s too bad that she doesn’t seem to know that she needs to consult a lawyer.

I mean, OP is letting her resign because OP is concerned for her safety if her nanny is out socializing with strangers. I am 100% on OP's side here. I feel for the nanny, it's a shitty situation, but she chose where she lives. It's not like OP is asking her to take care of the kids on the weekend for free. She's supposed to be sheltering in place at her residence. She lives with OP. She has no other residence. OP isn't doing anything wrong here.

$5 says if the nanny does anything but hide in her bedroom all weekend, she gets roped into helping with the kids.

Until OP's actual nanny chimes in, you need to stop making these stupid assumptions about her being an indentured slave. Anyway, it sounds like OP and nanny came to an agreement. The nanny is leaving, going to live with friends, and collect unemployment. Hell, DH has friends who voluntarily were furloughed because they end up making more money on unemployment than they would have if they were still working. It's not like the nanny is going to be living in poverty.

OP has refused to answer any questions about the nanny’s living conditions, which tells me everything I need to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this! Unfortunately, your nanny is a dud who doesn’t understand the concept of social distancing and shelter-in-place. And a fraudulent dud who wants to collect unemployment and get a cash job! I hope nobody will hire her. You have every right to deny her unemployment without feeling bad about it. She has a safe home, a steady job, and a car to go out in, and she wants to mess it up for a few extra dollars. Whatever.

I'm curious: Is that enough for you? A "safe" home in somebody else's house -- where they make the rules about who you can and cannot interact with on your ow time? A job -- that has gone from having defined hours to meaning that your supposedly "free" time is now restricted to meet the needs of your boss - 24/? A car to go out in -- except that she can't go anywhere that isn't pre-approved by her boss? You're harping on money - which, as I read it, is less of an issue than being able to have social interaction with people she knows who genuinely care about her well-being. As you say: Whatever. I'm sure that your life is absolutely nothing like what you're pushing for this young woman. I truly hope that things work out well for her.

It would be a completely different story if OP weren't in a Covid hotspot with stay at home orders. I don't know why you don't understand this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this! Unfortunately, your nanny is a dud who doesn’t understand the concept of social distancing and shelter-in-place. And a fraudulent dud who wants to collect unemployment and get a cash job! I hope nobody will hire her. You have every right to deny her unemployment without feeling bad about it. She has a safe home, a steady job, and a car to go out in, and she wants to mess it up for a few extra dollars. Whatever.

I'm curious: Is that enough for you? A "safe" home in somebody else's house -- where they make the rules about who you can and cannot interact with on your ow time? A job -- that has gone from having defined hours to meaning that your supposedly "free" time is now restricted to meet the needs of your boss - 24/? A car to go out in -- except that she can't go anywhere that isn't pre-approved by her boss? You're harping on money - which, as I read it, is less of an issue than being able to have social interaction with people she knows who genuinely care about her well-being. As you say: Whatever. I'm sure that your life is absolutely nothing like what you're pushing for this young woman. I truly hope that things work out well for her.

It would be a completely different story if OP weren't in a Covid hotspot with stay at home orders. I don't know why you don't understand this.

Not all of NY is a true hot spot.

[Anonymous]

You guys - nanny is not paying rent, OP buys all her food, OP lets her use her car whenever she wants. She has a pretty sweet deal, if you ask me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this! Unfortunately, your nanny is a dud who doesn’t understand the concept of social distancing and shelter-in-place. And a fraudulent dud who wants to collect unemployment and get a cash job! I hope nobody will hire her. You have every right to deny her unemployment without feeling bad about it. She has a safe home, a steady job, and a car to go out in, and she wants to mess it up for a few extra dollars. Whatever.

I'm curious: Is that enough for you? A "safe" home in somebody else's house -- where they make the rules about who you can and cannot interact with on your ow time? A job -- that has gone from having defined hours to meaning that your supposedly "free" time is now restricted to meet the needs of your boss - 24/? A car to go out in -- except that she can't go anywhere that isn't pre-approved by her boss? You're harping on money - which, as I read it, is less of an issue than being able to have social interaction with people she knows who genuinely care about her well-being. As you say: Whatever. I'm sure that your life is absolutely nothing like what you're pushing for this young woman. I truly hope that things work out well for her.

It would be a completely different story if OP weren't in a Covid hotspot with stay at home orders. I don't know why you don't understand this.

Not all of NY is a true hot spot.

OP didn't tell us what neighborhood she lives in, just that she lives in a hot spot and members of her community have died from Covid. Stop being an asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys - nanny is not paying rent, OP buys all her food, OP lets her use her car whenever she wants. She has a pretty sweet deal, if you ask me.

All of which suggests that the home environment must be pretty tough if the nanny is willing to give it all up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's pretty obvious that all the people who are saying OP is horrible are nannies themselves.

Nope. Not even close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this! Unfortunately, your nanny is a dud who doesn’t understand the concept of social distancing and shelter-in-place. And a fraudulent dud who wants to collect unemployment and get a cash job! I hope nobody will hire her. You have every right to deny her unemployment without feeling bad about it. She has a safe home, a steady job, and a car to go out in, and she wants to mess it up for a few extra dollars. Whatever.

I'm curious: Is that enough for you? A "safe" home in somebody else's house -- where they make the rules about who you can and cannot interact with on your ow time? A job -- that has gone from having defined hours to meaning that your supposedly "free" time is now restricted to meet the needs of your boss - 24/? A car to go out in -- except that she can't go anywhere that isn't pre-approved by her boss? You're harping on money - which, as I read it, is less of an issue than being able to have social interaction with people she knows who genuinely care about her well-being. As you say: Whatever. I'm sure that your life is absolutely nothing like what you're pushing for this young woman. I truly hope that things work out well for her.

+100000 Run, Nanny, run!!! We are rooting for you!!!

On another note, I wonder what Op's kids think about all of this. I feel bad for them, too.