Found nude pics on DHs phone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here. ladies.

men will send other men (their freinds) pics of women. sometimes men will save pics on their phone of these women. because Damn. some women are very appealing to look at.

It doesn't mean that we don't find our wives attractive or desirable. Its just a a different woman to look at.

It's like going to a restaurant. Just because we like to look at the desert menu doesn't mean we will ever order food from it.

Do your friends ever say “Don’t send me that. It will cause problems with my wife.”?

Different man here, never in my life have I heard a man say this. If someone said this to me I would assume he was being sarcastic, unless he told me his wife has his password so please send it to me in my burner email.

Op, just confront him. You will be able to tell by his reaction. Worst case scenario it's his boss and perhaps you can nip this in the bud before it becomes physical.

Agree with others, it's the potential cheating that's the issue, not him looking at naked women

OMG if it is his boss they are already having sex.
How many men out there send nude photos of women to their friends? How old are you? Can't you find your own naked women? Even 12 year olds know how to find naked pics on the web.

A middle aged blond is somebody this guy knows. I'm a middle aged blond and while I'm hot and in great shape for my age, I can't compete with a 22 year old in shape. I just can't. So, unless he knows her and wants her and is probably doing her, it probably isn't a picture somebody sent him.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That's a difficult thing for you to judge someone else's tastes. Why don't you send me a few snaps of your hot self and let me give you an objective opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here. ladies.

men will send other men (their freinds) pics of women. sometimes men will save pics on their phone of these women. because Damn. some women are very appealing to look at.

It doesn't mean that we don't find our wives attractive or desirable. Its just a a different woman to look at.

It's like going to a restaurant. Just because we like to look at the desert menu doesn't mean we will ever order food from it.

Do your friends ever say “Don’t send me that. It will cause problems with my wife.”?

Different man here, never in my life have I heard a man say this. If someone said this to me I would assume he was being sarcastic, unless he told me his wife has his password so please send it to me in my burner email.

Op, just confront him. You will be able to tell by his reaction. Worst case scenario it's his boss and perhaps you can nip this in the bud before it becomes physical.

Agree with others, it's the potential cheating that's the issue, not him looking at naked women

LOL, no way does he have nude pics of this woman if it's not already physical.

Not true. I've have several online flirty relationships where there has been an exchange. Others where they were sent without asking. Some people enjoy exhibitionism and reaffirming their beauty thru the eyes of others. Oh, and I've never shared any of those photos with anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I made it through the night. It was awful. I called my DH three times and he didn’t pick up.

OP, if you're for real please look up common responses to being caught in in affair. Gaslighting (there are NO pics on my phone, who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes) and blame shifting (you're mad at me about the pics I'm telling you that you didn't see? Then I see your anger and raise you my own anger so that you'll believe YOU did something wrong and I am innocent) are all common responses.

Do NOT call him. If he's not with another woman he's just going to take it as reinforcement that you'll let him get away with lying to you and if he is with another woman, well, that's another issue to deal with.

I'm the PP who suggested that you talk to a friend and let them help you navigate this mess. Reacting out of hurt and fear is normal, but it's not going to help you in the long run no matter what route you take (staying and trying to make it work or ultimately leaving because your DH won't take responsibility for his own actions).

^^^^^ THIS.

Both of you are reacting exactly like most people do when an affair is uncovered.

The cheating spouse lies, deflects blame, and then turns it back on the victim. In this case, he denied the photos existed and went to his mistress's house, and is freezing you out.

The victim, in shock and unsure what their life will look like post-marriage, accepts some of that blame and does the "pick me" dance.


Read this, and realize you are not alone but you don't have to be a stereotype. https://www.chumplady.com/2012/04/the-humiliating-dance-of-pick-me/

[Anonymous]

so sorry OP. What a loser.

You dont just accidentally save a picture like that. He's either sexting/chating with some random woman he found online, or it is someone he knows.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so stupid. I can’t believe I didn’t save what I saw.

He’s completly denying it saying it is silly that I think he’s cheating and there’s nothing on his phone.

I'm sorry OP, he's a jerk. I had an ex do that to me. Swore up and down that it didn't happen or it wasn't him that I must be crazy. I started to doubt my own eyes and believe him.

Op here. I don’t know what to say to his denials. I have that woman’s big boobs from the photo plastered in my mind.

Tell us more, please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Your choice to lie tells me everything I need to know. Please find another place to sleep tonight while I process what I want to do next.”

+1 I'm not going to become Inspector Gadget but I'm not putting up with it either.

+2 - No way in hell will I snoop on my husband or live with a cheater. People always eventually get caught....I don't have time to snoop. Plus, if I feel like I have to snoop, then I want a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here. ladies.

men will send other men (their freinds) pics of women. sometimes men will save pics on their phone of these women. because Damn. some women are very appealing to look at.

It doesn't mean that we don't find our wives attractive or desirable. Its just a a different woman to look at.

It's like going to a restaurant. Just because we like to look at the desert menu doesn't mean we will ever order food from it.

Do your friends ever say “Don’t send me that. It will cause problems with my wife.”?

Different man here, never in my life have I heard a man say this. If someone said this to me I would assume he was being sarcastic, unless he told me his wife has his password so please send it to me in my burner email.

Op, just confront him. You will be able to tell by his reaction. Worst case scenario it's his boss and perhaps you can nip this in the bud before it becomes physical.

Agree with others, it's the potential cheating that's the issue, not him looking at naked women

LOL, no way does he have nude pics of this woman if it's not already physical.

Not true. I've have several online flirty relationships where there has been an exchange. Others where they were sent without asking. Some people enjoy exhibitionism and reaffirming their beauty thru the eyes of others. Oh, and I've never shared any of those photos with anyone.

Wait, are you married? Who are you having these online flirtations with?

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm so sorry. He is clearly going with "the best defense is an offense" approach. I'm betting he wasn't at his parents'.

Stop calling him. You know what you saw. If it were just porn, he would not have reacted this way. First he denies there are photos at all, then says it's probably accidentally saved p*rn, then gets mad at YOU. I'm guessing if he found d*ck pics on your phone, he wouldn't just shrug it off. He is gaslighting you and he is NOT sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. DH is outraged I thought it was his boss. He says that is gross and disgusting. He says he may have accidentally downloaded amateur porno photos.

Can this make sense?

I am a woman, married to a man, but do enjoy looking at women. I have plenty of naked amateur photos of women on my phone. You can find them online easily. I even send them to my husband. Then, we both get home from work and have amazing quickie sex (kids can cramp your style . So, it's possible the picture is of some random woman. How is your sex life? Has it suffered recently? I know we hit a bad spell when the kids were really young, but we quickly realized that losing our intimacy will lead to divorce, so we made a point to fix it. It allowed me to open up about my attraction to women too, not that I want to have sex with them, just that I find them visually stimulating. Maybe send him a naked photo of you...tell him you may have overreacted. If he doesn't come right over, then he is cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm so sorry. He is clearly going with "the best defense is an offense" approach. I'm betting he wasn't at his parents'.

Stop calling him. You know what you saw. If it were just porn, he would not have reacted this way. First he denies there are photos at all, then says it's probably accidentally saved p*rn, then gets mad at YOU. I'm guessing if he found d*ck pics on your phone, he wouldn't just shrug it off. He is gaslighting you and he is NOT sorry.

Call his parents house directly "looking for him". When his mom asks why should he be here, you can say "he told me he was spending the night at your place!"
See where it goes.

[Anonymous]

Let's even say that your DH didn't cheat and those pictures were innocent. Is it a normal reaction to get so mad at being "falsely accused" that you have to leave the house and not answer your spouse's calls? I think not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. DH is outraged I thought it was his boss. He says that is gross and disgusting. He says he may have accidentally downloaded amateur porno photos.

Can this make sense?

I am a woman, married to a man, but do enjoy looking at women. I have plenty of naked amateur photos of women on my phone. You can find them online easily. I even send them to my husband. Then, we both get home from work and have amazing quickie sex (kids can cramp your style . So, it's possible the picture is of some random woman. How is your sex life? Has it suffered recently? I know we hit a bad spell when the kids were really young, but we quickly realized that losing our intimacy will lead to divorce, so we made a point to fix it. It allowed me to open up about my attraction to women too, not that I want to have sex with them, just that I find them visually stimulating. Maybe send him a naked photo of you...tell him you may have overreacted. If he doesn't come right over, then he is cheating.

But if that were the case, wouldn't he have said that, instead of denying the pic was even there? "It's not anyone I know, babe. I saved it from P*rnhub". His response is really over the top and suspicious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here. ladies.

men will send other men (their freinds) pics of women. sometimes men will save pics on their phone of these women. because Damn. some women are very appealing to look at.

It doesn't mean that we don't find our wives attractive or desirable. Its just a a different woman to look at.

It's like going to a restaurant. Just because we like to look at the desert menu doesn't mean we will ever order food from it.

Do your friends ever say “Don’t send me that. It will cause problems with my wife.”?

Different man here, never in my life have I heard a man say this. If someone said this to me I would assume he was being sarcastic, unless he told me his wife has his password so please send it to me in my burner email.

Op, just confront him. You will be able to tell by his reaction. Worst case scenario it's his boss and perhaps you can nip this in the bud before it becomes physical.

Agree with others, it's the potential cheating that's the issue, not him looking at naked women

OMG if it is his boss they are already having sex.
How many men out there send nude photos of women to their friends? How old are you? Can't you find your own naked women? Even 12 year olds know how to find naked pics on the web.

A middle aged blond is somebody this guy knows. I'm a middle aged blond and while I'm hot and in great shape for my age, I can't compete with a 22 year old in shape. I just can't. So, unless he knows her and wants her and is probably doing her, it probably isn't a picture somebody sent him.

Speak for yourself: I am 42. I can compete with a 22-year-old any day of the week. Today someone at work said they thought I was late 20s. Two kids, no work done.

Need proof. Pics or liar

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. DH is outraged I thought it was his boss. He says that is gross and disgusting. He says he may have accidentally downloaded amateur porno photos.

Can this make sense?

I am a woman, married to a man, but do enjoy looking at women. I have plenty of naked amateur photos of women on my phone. You can find them online easily. I even send them to my husband. Then, we both get home from work and have amazing quickie sex (kids can cramp your style . So, it's possible the picture is of some random woman. How is your sex life? Has it suffered recently? I know we hit a bad spell when the kids were really young, but we quickly realized that losing our intimacy will lead to divorce, so we made a point to fix it. It allowed me to open up about my attraction to women too, not that I want to have sex with them, just that I find them visually stimulating. Maybe send him a naked photo of you...tell him you may have overreacted. If he doesn't come right over, then he is cheating.

But if that were the case, wouldn't he have said that, instead of denying the pic was even there? "It's not anyone I know, babe. I saved it from P*rnhub". His response is really over the top and suspicious.

Yes, he is probably cheating. But...if he also knows his wife would totally freak out over him looking a nudes, he will also deny. Is she the type that is very insecure and doesn't realize men tend to be visual and looking at nudes doesn't mean he doesn't love you or think you are hot. I know a lot of women who think I am crazy that I do what I do, and I also know their husbands would deny a photo existed even if he wasn't cheating.