Do fat women who are Body-Positive really love being fat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fat person here. This. All day long. I don’t love being fat, I doubt anyone does. But I am so f$#&*%g tired of being looked down on, or ignored, or treated like a second class citizen because people assume I’m lazy, or dumb or whatever else (cue the aholes who will respond to this with those exact comments). Losing weight for me is really, really hard, because I hate going to the gym, have two small children, and yes, I don’t want to spend my life starving myself and working out that I hate just to please society. And I have two young girls that I don’t want to subject to body shaming or make self conscious of their own bodies. My mother obsessed about weight and being fat her whole life, and it has imprinted itself on my brain in negative talk. I do NOT want my daughters dealing with that. So yeah, I have learned to accept my body, teach them that women are beautiful at any size, it’s what’s inside that counts, and anyone who says otherwise can go pound sand.

So you are not lazy but you hate the gym, don't like to exercise, find it too hard to watch what you eat and blame your mom for your current size?

Stop being obnoxious. You know that’s not what she said, but you just twisted it so you can imply she’s lazy. I do not understand why people feel the need to be such bitches to people they do not know.

Well, she did say that she hates going to the gym. So do I, but for health reasons, everyone needs some physical activity on a daily basis. It is lazy to use the "I don't like the gym" excuse.

Exactly. Most people don't always want to go to the gym. I would rather eat a massive Chipotle burrito for lunch (my weakness) than what I brought (fruit, yogurt, and a cream cheese & jelly sandwich) but I eat it because it's healthier. As adults, we sometimes have to do things we don't like.

Oh and before anyone attacks me -- I have a little kid too, and I work FT (as does DH). I don't have much time in my day, but I still make time for certain things.

[Anonymous]

I was a naturally thin person who was quick to judge overweight people as lazy. Then menopause hit. Now I’m 20 pounds over my ideal weight. I no longer judge!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a theory I have heard that I completely believe as they enter my 40s. Women that are objectively thin at this age are either a) genetically small. Look at their mothers and sisters. Or b) disordered.

or c) work hard at it (not the same thing as disordered)

Again, difference between fit and thin.

Women who are THIN as they age are a) or b) pretty much without fail. Exercise does not make you thin.

True. I am 42 - 4'11" and have weighed 95-105 lbs my entire adulthood. I eat whatever I want and never step foot in a gym. I try to gain weight and just can't. I eat awfully - McDonalds when I am rushed. I even have a toned stomach and have no idea how....it's not like abs for days, but it's flat as can be. I am also in the worst shape of my life....I can't run for 2 minutes without being winded. I have a friend who would be considered "big bone girl" (I actually hate that term). She is 190lbs and can run circles around me. She is so fit, but a lot of people just see her a a big girl, and she gets a lot of nasty comments too.

Bottom line....people suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a theory I have heard that I completely believe as they enter my 40s. Women that are objectively thin at this age are either a) genetically small. Look at their mothers and sisters. Or b) disordered.

or c) work hard at it (not the same thing as disordered)

Again, difference between fit and thin.

Women who are THIN as they age are a) or b) pretty much without fail. Exercise does not make you thin.

True. I am 42 - 4'11" and have weighed 95-105 lbs my entire adulthood. I eat whatever I want and never step foot in a gym. I try to gain weight and just can't. I eat awfully - McDonalds when I am rushed. I even have a toned stomach and have no idea how....it's not like abs for days, but it's flat as can be. I am also in the worst shape of my life....I can't run for 2 minutes without being winded. I have a friend who would be considered "big bone girl" (I actually hate that term). She is 190lbs and can run circles around me. She is so fit, but a lot of people just see her a a big girl, and she gets a lot of nasty comments too.

Bottom line....people suck.

I'm the same way, although I do have to watch what I eat. I never work out (pure laziness, I'll admit it). I'm 5'4'' and vacillate between 125-127 lbs. I briefly got up to probably 140 about 8 years ago and worked out for a month and it came off. However, I'm not in good shape, fitness-wise.

My husband is 5'7'' 180 lbs (actively trying to lose weight) and can run circles around me. He also has to watch his diet and exercise religiously to avoid being even more overweight.

Metabolisms can suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fat person here. This. All day long. I don’t love being fat, I doubt anyone does. But I am so f$#&*%g tired of being looked down on, or ignored, or treated like a second class citizen because people assume I’m lazy, or dumb or whatever else (cue the aholes who will respond to this with those exact comments). Losing weight for me is really, really hard, because I hate going to the gym, have two small children, and yes, I don’t want to spend my life starving myself and working out that I hate just to please society. And I have two young girls that I don’t want to subject to body shaming or make self conscious of their own bodies. My mother obsessed about weight and being fat her whole life, and it has imprinted itself on my brain in negative talk. I do NOT want my daughters dealing with that. So yeah, I have learned to accept my body, teach them that women are beautiful at any size, it’s what’s inside that counts, and anyone who says otherwise can go pound sand.

So you are not lazy but you hate the gym, don't like to exercise, find it too hard to watch what you eat and blame your mom for your current size?

Stop being obnoxious. You know that’s not what she said, but you just twisted it so you can imply she’s lazy. I do not understand why people feel the need to be such bitches to people they do not know.

PP isn't being obnoxious. It's literally what the other PP said. She said she isn't lazy, but then said:

"I hate going to the gym"

"I don't want to spend my life starving myself" (hint: the majority of people don't need to starve themselves to attain a healthy weight -- yes I know SOME do, but not most)

"My mother was obsessed about weight and being fat and it has imprinted itself on my brain" -- blaming her mom

Newsflash: being healthy and working out isn't going to imprint negative, body-shaming crap on your daughters. In fact, it's an excellent example to show them.

All true. And your daughters will likely be overweight too and not because it's generic, because they are learning your habits. Not that that is the worse thing in the world, but it is as if you know your girls will be overweight and you are preparing them for that instead of trying to change the trajectory and teach them good habits and healthy lifestyle

[Anonymous]

I think the answer is no.
But at some point in your quest for trying, and you can keep trying, to lose weight—it becomes important to take care of yourself, to find some of the beauty, to love yourself by dressing as though you love yourself, to stop beating yourself up.

Yeah, I think they’d love to lose it and then they could stop thinking about it / stop caring that other people secretly or outwardly judge them. But at some point.. you cannot just keep beating and beating and beating yourself.

I say this as someone who is about 10 lbs overweight. I’ve been 25+ overweight for one year of my life (excluding post partum bouncing). And who has been healthy weight for 85% of my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fat person here. This. All day long. I don’t love being fat, I doubt anyone does. But I am so f$#&*%g tired of being looked down on, or ignored, or treated like a second class citizen because people assume I’m lazy, or dumb or whatever else (cue the aholes who will respond to this with those exact comments). Losing weight for me is really, really hard, because I hate going to the gym, have two small children, and yes, I don’t want to spend my life starving myself and working out that I hate just to please society. And I have two young girls that I don’t want to subject to body shaming or make self conscious of their own bodies. My mother obsessed about weight and being fat her whole life, and it has imprinted itself on my brain in negative talk. I do NOT want my daughters dealing with that. So yeah, I have learned to accept my body, teach them that women are beautiful at any size, it’s what’s inside that counts, and anyone who says otherwise can go pound sand.

So you are not lazy but you hate the gym, don't like to exercise, find it too hard to watch what you eat and blame your mom for your current size?

Stop being obnoxious. You know that’s not what she said, but you just twisted it so you can imply she’s lazy. I do not understand why people feel the need to be such bitches to people they do not know.

PP isn't being obnoxious. It's literally what the other PP said. She said she isn't lazy, but then said:

"I hate going to the gym"

"I don't want to spend my life starving myself" (hint: the majority of people don't need to starve themselves to attain a healthy weight -- yes I know SOME do, but not most)

"My mother was obsessed about weight and being fat and it has imprinted itself on my brain" -- blaming her mom

Newsflash: being healthy and working out isn't going to imprint negative, body-shaming crap on your daughters. In fact, it's an excellent example to show them.

All true. And your daughters will likely be overweight too and not because it's generic, because they are learning your habits. Not that that is the worse thing in the world, but it is as if you know your girls will be overweight and you are preparing them for that instead of trying to change the trajectory and teach them good habits and healthy lifestyle

And how is that your problem? You and PP are fat shaming her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fat person here. This. All day long. I don’t love being fat, I doubt anyone does. But I am so f$#&*%g tired of being looked down on, or ignored, or treated like a second class citizen because people assume I’m lazy, or dumb or whatever else (cue the aholes who will respond to this with those exact comments). Losing weight for me is really, really hard, because I hate going to the gym, have two small children, and yes, I don’t want to spend my life starving myself and working out that I hate just to please society. And I have two young girls that I don’t want to subject to body shaming or make self conscious of their own bodies. My mother obsessed about weight and being fat her whole life, and it has imprinted itself on my brain in negative talk. I do NOT want my daughters dealing with that. So yeah, I have learned to accept my body, teach them that women are beautiful at any size, it’s what’s inside that counts, and anyone who says otherwise can go pound sand.

So you are not lazy but you hate the gym, don't like to exercise, find it too hard to watch what you eat and blame your mom for your current size?

Stop being obnoxious. You know that’s not what she said, but you just twisted it so you can imply she’s lazy. I do not understand why people feel the need to be such bitches to people they do not know.

Well, she did say that she hates going to the gym. So do I, but for health reasons, everyone needs some physical activity on a daily basis. It is lazy to use the "I don't like the gym" excuse.

Exactly. Most people don't always want to go to the gym. I would rather eat a massive Chipotle burrito for lunch (my weakness) than what I brought (fruit, yogurt, and a cream cheese & jelly sandwich) but I eat it because it's healthier. As adults, we sometimes have to do things we don't like.

Oh and before anyone attacks me -- I have a little kid too, and I work FT (as does DH). I don't have much time in my day, but I still make time for certain things.

NP. You win. Feel better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a theory I have heard that I completely believe as they enter my 40s. Women that are objectively thin at this age are either a) genetically small. Look at their mothers and sisters. Or b) disordered.

or c) work hard at it (not the same thing as disordered)

Again, difference between fit and thin.

Women who are THIN as they age are a) or b) pretty much without fail. Exercise does not make you thin.

Not true. I know plenty of women who exercise hard (say 1 hour 4x/week)and do active stuff with families (hiking, swimming) and do not diet, just focus on eating healthfully in a sustainable way (lots of fruits and veggies, little junk food, desserts as an occasional treat rather than a daily thing). They are both thin and fit. There is nothing disordered about that, that's called a healthy, active lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a naturally thin person who was quick to judge overweight people as lazy. Then menopause hit. Now I’m 20 pounds over my ideal weight. I no longer judge!

I don't think most people are judging post-menopausal women for the normal 10-20 pound weight gain. Everyone knows it takes harder work and discipline at that point, and not everyone can do it even with those things. Though I look around and see many who do, mostly women who have always had healthy and active lifestyles (hiking, jogging, yoga etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]Do women with special needs kids really love their children?[/b]

Do people with bad marriages really think they're 'stronger' for it?

How in the world did you make this jump...

Yes, we do. Deeply. As much as those with neurotypical children love theirs. My god. I'm shocked you would think otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Fat person here. This. All day long. I don’t love being fat, I doubt anyone does. But I am so f$#&*%g tired of being looked down on, or ignored, or treated like a second class citizen because people assume I’m lazy, or dumb or whatever else (cue the aholes who will respond to this with those exact comments). Losing weight for me is really, really hard, because I hate going to the gym, have two small children, and yes, I don’t want to spend my life starving myself and working out that I hate just to please society. And I have two young girls that I don’t want to subject to body shaming or make self conscious of their own bodies. My mother obsessed about weight and being fat her whole life, and it has imprinted itself on my brain in negative talk. I do NOT want my daughters dealing with that. So yeah, I have learned to accept my body, teach them that women are beautiful at any size, it’s what’s inside that counts, and anyone who says otherwise can go pound sand.

So you are not lazy but you hate the gym, don't like to exercise, find it too hard to watch what you eat and blame your mom for your current size?

Stop being obnoxious. You know that’s not what she said, but you just twisted it so you can imply she’s lazy. I do not understand why people feel the need to be such bitches to people they do not know.

PP isn't being obnoxious. It's literally what the other PP said. She said she isn't lazy, but then said:

"I hate going to the gym"

"I don't want to spend my life starving myself" (hint: the majority of people don't need to starve themselves to attain a healthy weight -- yes I know SOME do, but not most)

"My mother was obsessed about weight and being fat and it has imprinted itself on my brain" -- blaming her mom

Newsflash: being healthy and working out isn't going to imprint negative, body-shaming crap on your daughters. In fact, it's an excellent example to show them.

All true. And your daughters will likely be overweight too and not because it's generic, because they are learning your habits. Not that that is the worse thing in the world, but it is as if you know your girls will be overweight and you are preparing them for that instead of trying to change the trajectory and teach them good habits and healthy lifestyle

And how is that your problem? You and PP are fat shaming her.

How is suggesting she should go to the gym, stop blaming her mom, and eat better fat shaming?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a theory I have heard that I completely believe as they enter my 40s. Women that are objectively thin at this age are either a) genetically small. Look at their mothers and sisters. Or b) disordered.

or c) work hard at it (not the same thing as disordered)

Again, difference between fit and thin.

Women who are THIN as they age are a) or b) pretty much without fail. Exercise does not make you thin.

Not true. I know plenty of women who exercise hard (say 1 hour 4x/week)and do active stuff with families (hiking, swimming) and do not diet, just focus on eating healthfully in a sustainable way (lots of fruits and veggies, little junk food, desserts as an occasional treat rather than a daily thing). They are both thin and fit. There is nothing disordered about that, that's called a healthy, active lifestyle.

Healthy lifestyles are great. I'd also bet their parents and siblings are thin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a theory I have heard that I completely believe as they enter my 40s. Women that are objectively thin at this age are either a) genetically small. Look at their mothers and sisters. Or b) disordered.

or c) work hard at it (not the same thing as disordered)

Again, difference between fit and thin.

Women who are THIN as they age are a) or b) pretty much without fail. Exercise does not make you thin.

Not true. I know plenty of women who exercise hard (say 1 hour 4x/week)and do active stuff with families (hiking, swimming) and do not diet, just focus on eating healthfully in a sustainable way (lots of fruits and veggies, little junk food, desserts as an occasional treat rather than a daily thing). They are both thin and fit. There is nothing disordered about that, that's called a healthy, active lifestyle.

Healthy lifestyles are great. I'd also bet their parents and siblings are thin.

It kind of becomes a chicken-or-egg thing though. Are they thin because of genetics or because they too had healthy, active lifestyles they modeled for their children? I'm not ruling out genetics of course, but I do think people tend to underestimate how crap our diets tend to be and how sedentary our lifestyles have become.

[Anonymous]

Honestly you all need to get out of your feelings. If you're offended by something, think about why you're offended in the first place and if it's really worth getting upset about. If it is, then ask yourself if there's anything you can do to change it. It all starts with you.