Do fat women who are Body-Positive really love being fat?

[Anonymous]

I have an overweight friend who is really into body positivity and the HAES movement. I don’t really think much about about people‘s size and I‘ve never been overweight, so body positivity is something new to me. Why do people who love their bodies need to convince everyone?

[Anonymous]

Perhaps because ignorant people comment negatively and nastily on fat people's bodies and weight all. of. the. time.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think so. I think they have learned to accept their bodies to survive in a nasty culture. But if any of them could magically be thin? Every single one would be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps because ignorant people comment negatively and nastily on fat people's bodies and weight all. of. the. time.

Fat person here. This. All day long. I don’t love being fat, I doubt anyone does. But I am so f$#&*%g tired of being looked down on, or ignored, or treated like a second class citizen because people assume I’m lazy, or dumb or whatever else (cue the aholes who will respond to this with those exact comments). Losing weight for me is really, really hard, because I hate going to the gym, have two small children, and yes, I don’t want to spend my life starving myself and working out that I hate just to please society. And I have two young girls that I don’t want to subject to body shaming or make self conscious of their own bodies. My mother obsessed about weight and being fat her whole life, and it has imprinted itself on my brain in negative talk. I do NOT want my daughters dealing with that. So yeah, I have learned to accept my body, teach them that women are beautiful at any size, it’s what’s inside that counts, and anyone who says otherwise can go pound sand.

[Anonymous]

And yet we can't. We really can't. I've done every diet known to man and the weight always comes back.

You eat whatever you want and the weight never increases.

It's genes. Just like being left-handed.

[Anonymous]

Do women with special needs kids really love their children?

Do people with bad marriages really think they're 'stronger' for it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so. I think they have learned to accept their bodies to survive in a nasty culture. But if any of them could magically be thin? Every single one would be.

Given a choice between being thin and getting rid of judgment about other people's bodies, I'd pick the latter.

I know you don't believe me, and that makes me feel sad for you. We have internalized some really terrible messages about human worth, especially women's worth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do women with special needs kids really love their children?

Do people with bad marriages really think they're 'stronger' for it?

How in the world did you make this jump...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps because ignorant people comment negatively and nastily on fat people's bodies and weight all. of. the. time.

My nephew’s wife is part of that movement. She is 27 years old and has just had serious back surgery because if the stress on her body. The surgeon told her to lose 120 pounds and she went nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps because ignorant people comment negatively and nastily on fat people's bodies and weight all. of. the. time.

Fat person here. This. All day long. I don’t love being fat, I doubt anyone does. But I am so f$#&*%g tired of being looked down on, or ignored, or treated like a second class citizen because people assume I’m lazy, or dumb or whatever else (cue the aholes who will respond to this with those exact comments). Losing weight for me is really, really hard, because I hate going to the gym, have two small children, and yes, I don’t want to spend my life starving myself and working out that I hate just to please society. And I have two young girls that I don’t want to subject to body shaming or make self conscious of their own bodies. My mother obsessed about weight and being fat her whole life, and it has imprinted itself on my brain in negative talk. I do NOT want my daughters dealing with that. So yeah, I have learned to accept my body, teach them that women are beautiful at any size, it’s what’s inside that counts, and anyone who says otherwise can go pound sand.

OP here - thanks for this response! I’m sorry people are so rude. I have a daughter too, and I would never want her to feel badly about her weight. I imagine a campaign against rudeness would make more sense to me than the whole body love movement, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps because ignorant people comment negatively and nastily on fat people's bodies and weight all. of. the. time.

My nephew’s wife is part of that movement. She is 27 years old and has just had serious back surgery because if the stress on her body. The surgeon told her to lose 120 pounds and she went nuts.

This is pretty sad. I believe genes contribute a ton to our body composition and I don't think we are all supposed to be skinny and fit, but to be 27 and have your weight cause injury is really unhealthy. And I don't unusually like the "unhealthy" argument as most of us have unhealthy habits (I do! and I am not overweight), but 120 lbs (which has got to be a minimum from a medical professional's point of view) is a LOT to lose. That's a whole person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps because ignorant people comment negatively and nastily on fat people's bodies and weight all. of. the. time.

Fat person here. This. All day long. I don’t love being fat, I doubt anyone does. But I am so f$#&*%g tired of being looked down on, or ignored, or treated like a second class citizen because people assume I’m lazy, or dumb or whatever else (cue the aholes who will respond to this with those exact comments). Losing weight for me is really, really hard, because I hate going to the gym, have two small children, and yes, I don’t want to spend my life starving myself and working out that I hate just to please society. And I have two young girls that I don’t want to subject to body shaming or make self conscious of their own bodies. My mother obsessed about weight and being fat her whole life, and it has imprinted itself on my brain in negative talk. I do NOT want my daughters dealing with that. So yeah, I have learned to accept my body, teach them that women are beautiful at any size, it’s what’s inside that counts, and anyone who says otherwise can go pound sand.

OP here - thanks for this response! I’m sorry people are so rude. I have a daughter too, and I would never want her to feel badly about her weight. I imagine a campaign against rudeness would make more sense to me than the whole body love movement, though.

Would you say that to people born with severe genetic deformities? Dwarfism, limb differences, twisted spines, facial deformities? What about people who have lost limbs to accidents and war? Don't try to love and accept your body, just make sure people aren't rude to you about it. Would you want your daughter to feel bad about her body if she was missing an arm or a leg?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps because ignorant people comment negatively and nastily on fat people's bodies and weight all. of. the. time.

Fat person here. This. All day long. I don’t love being fat, I doubt anyone does. But I am so f$#&*%g tired of being looked down on, or ignored, or treated like a second class citizen because people assume I’m lazy, or dumb or whatever else (cue the aholes who will respond to this with those exact comments). Losing weight for me is really, really hard, because I hate going to the gym, have two small children, and yes, I don’t want to spend my life starving myself and working out that I hate just to please society. And I have two young girls that I don’t want to subject to body shaming or make self conscious of their own bodies. My mother obsessed about weight and being fat her whole life, and it has imprinted itself on my brain in negative talk. I do NOT want my daughters dealing with that. So yeah, I have learned to accept my body, teach them that women are beautiful at any size, it’s what’s inside that counts, and anyone who says otherwise can go pound sand.

OP here - thanks for this response! I’m sorry people are so rude. I have a daughter too, and I would never want her to feel badly about her weight. I imagine a campaign against rudeness would make more sense to me than the whole body love movement, though.

Would you say that to people born with severe genetic deformities? Dwarfism, limb differences, twisted spines, facial deformities? What about people who have lost limbs to accidents and war? Don't try to love and accept your body, just make sure people aren't rude to you about it. Would you want your daughter to feel bad about her body if she was missing an arm or a leg?

I would like for my daughter to love her body, regardless of how it looks. I wouldn’t want her to go around campaigning how much she loves her body because it sounds insecure to me.

[Anonymous]

I am not familiar with the HAES movement, but I LOVE this blog on body acceptance, and o have been reading it for years. The author is a fitness instructor and semi professional dancer, and she is FAT!

https://danceswithfat.org

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not familiar with the HAES movement, but I LOVE this blog on body acceptance, and o have been reading it for years. The author is a fitness instructor and semi professional dancer, and she is FAT!

https://danceswithfat.org

This is one of my favorite posts.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/danceswithfat.org/2011/06/17/the-trouble-with-proving-it/amp/