Do fat women who are Body-Positive really love being fat?

[Anonymous]

Do extremely thin women really love being thin? Do women with no breast or butt convince themselves that they look good? Do women with significant thigh gaps think they look good in spandex? You should love yourself and worry about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do extremely thin women really love being thin? Do women with no breast or butt convince themselves that they look good? Do women with significant thigh gaps think they look good in spandex? You should love yourself and worry about you.

Thigh gaps are trendy. As are prominent collarbones. So people with big thigh gaps do look good in spandex. Thin is fashionable again.

[Anonymous]

There is a big difference between fat and healthy and obese and unhealthy.

I know larger size women and men that exercise regularly and while larger, they are not obese. They do not succumb to the fact that their genetic predisposition to being larger gives them any excuse to skip the gym and not eat healthy. They know they won’t ever be thin but they keep themselves from being obese. They are likely healthier than overly skinny members of society.

Then there is the other spectrum. Just stating “I’m fat, so deal with it”. Not exercising or eating healthy. They succumb to obesity. Their health is not good. They will have knee problems, back problems, heart problems, diabetes. They will be offended if anyone tells them they are at an unhealthy weight. They will act as if they have zero control over their fate of obesity and equate it with a disability.

The first group is what I would call body positive. The second group is not. Those that think they are body positive in the second group are delusional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do extremely thin women really love being thin? Do women with no breast or butt convince themselves that they look good? Do women with significant thigh gaps think they look good in spandex? You should love yourself and worry about you.

Thigh gaps are trendy. As are prominent collarbones. So people with big thigh gaps do look good in spandex. Thin is fashionable again.

Yes. Society had told them they look good and the thinner the better.

I own my part in my weight, but there are lots of reasons to hold a grudge against my body - years of infertility, stillborn 2nd child, inability to BF first child but 3rd was a breeze - my size isn’t one of them. At this point in my insane life eating what I want when I want is all that keeps me sane. I don’t drink or so drugs, I’m plenty active with my kids, my husband still wants me, and a doctor has never mention a single health issue - blood pressure, cholesterol, sugar, back, joints, etc are all perfect. So to that extent I’m cool with whatever my body looks like, though I’m not shoving it down anyone’s throat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a big difference between fat and healthy and obese and unhealthy.

I know larger size women and men that exercise regularly and while larger, they are not obese. They do not succumb to the fact that their genetic predisposition to being larger gives them any excuse to skip the gym and not eat healthy. They know they won’t ever be thin but they keep themselves from being obese. They are likely healthier than overly skinny members of society.

Then there is the other spectrum. Just stating “I’m fat, so deal with it”. Not exercising or eating healthy. They succumb to obesity. Their health is not good. They will have knee problems, back problems, heart problems, diabetes. They will be offended if anyone tells them they are at an unhealthy weight. They will act as if they have zero control over their fate of obesity and equate it with a disability.

The first group is what I would call body positive. The second group is not. Those that think they are body positive in the second group are delusional.

Was just about the post this when I saw the poster with two kids. There's a difference between being overweight and one that is morbidly obese. Yes, one's health is none of your business, but to tell a kid that being morbidly obese because of lifestyle choices is OK is just not right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps because ignorant people comment negatively and nastily on fat people's bodies and weight all. of. the. time.

Fat person here. This. All day long. I don’t love being fat, I doubt anyone does. But I am so f$#&*%g tired of being looked down on, or ignored, or treated like a second class citizen because people assume I’m lazy, or dumb or whatever else (cue the aholes who will respond to this with those exact comments). Losing weight for me is really, really hard, because I hate going to the gym, have two small children, and yes, I don’t want to spend my life starving myself and working out that I hate just to please society. And I have two young girls that I don’t want to subject to body shaming or make self conscious of their own bodies. My mother obsessed about weight and being fat her whole life, and it has imprinted itself on my brain in negative talk. I do NOT want my daughters dealing with that. So yeah, I have learned to accept my body, teach them that women are beautiful at any size, it’s what’s inside that counts, and anyone who says otherwise can go pound sand.

OP here - thanks for this response! I’m sorry people are so rude. I have a daughter too, and I would never want her to feel badly about her weight. I imagine a campaign against rudeness would make more sense to me than the whole body love movement, though.

Would you say that to people born with severe genetic deformities? Dwarfism, limb differences, twisted spines, facial deformities? What about people who have lost limbs to accidents and war? Don't try to love and accept your body, just make sure people aren't rude to you about it. Would you want your daughter to feel bad about her body if she was missing an arm or a leg?

I would like for my daughter to love her body, regardless of how it looks. I wouldn’t want her to go around campaigning how much she loves her body because it sounds insecure to me.

You would say you want her to love your body, but deep down you’d be wishing she would lose some weight so you wouldn’t be embarrassed by having a fat daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a big difference between fat and healthy and obese and unhealthy.

I know larger size women and men that exercise regularly and while larger, they are not obese. They do not succumb to the fact that their genetic predisposition to being larger gives them any excuse to skip the gym and not eat healthy. They know they won’t ever be thin but they keep themselves from being obese. They are likely healthier than overly skinny members of society.

Then there is the other spectrum. Just stating “I’m fat, so deal with it”. Not exercising or eating healthy. They succumb to obesity. Their health is not good. They will have knee problems, back problems, heart problems, diabetes. They will be offended if anyone tells them they are at an unhealthy weight. They will act as if they have zero control over their fate of obesity and equate it with a disability.

The first group is what I would call body positive. The second group is not. Those that think they are body positive in the second group are delusional.

Was just about the post this when I saw the poster with two kids. There's a difference between being overweight and one that is morbidly obese. Yes, one's health is none of your business, but to tell a kid that being morbidly obese because of lifestyle choices is OK is just not right.

If you’re talking about me from page 1, what I tell my daughters is that they should not judge people from their looks, so they don’t turn into jerks like you. My mother was thin most of her young life, eating whatever she wanted. But once she had kids, her body changed and she couldn’t get/keep the weight off. And she obsesses about it. I don’t want my daughters having an unhealthy image of food and obsessing about their (or anyone else’s) weight. The latter is none of their business. We focus on eating good foods, minimizing “treats,” and staying active, so their body’s “engine” runs well. If they grow up with healthy habits, I don’t care what the scale says and neither should they.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do extremely thin women really love being thin? Do women with no breast or butt convince themselves that they look good? Do women with significant thigh gaps think they look good in spandex? You should love yourself and worry about you.

Thigh gaps are trendy. As are prominent collarbones. So people with big thigh gaps do look good in spandex. Thin is fashionable again.

Only a certain culture thinks that looks good. Thigh gaps in spandex looks like a skeleton wearing clothes. That is not attractive.

[Anonymous]

So people don’t have the right to be happy unless others say so?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a big difference between fat and healthy and obese and unhealthy.

I know larger size women and men that exercise regularly and while larger, they are not obese. They do not succumb to the fact that their genetic predisposition to being larger gives them any excuse to skip the gym and not eat healthy. They know they won’t ever be thin but they keep themselves from being obese. They are likely healthier than overly skinny members of society.

Then there is the other spectrum. Just stating “I’m fat, so deal with it”. Not exercising or eating healthy. They succumb to obesity. Their health is not good. They will have knee problems, back problems, heart problems, diabetes. They will be offended if anyone tells them they are at an unhealthy weight. They will act as if they have zero control over their fate of obesity and equate it with a disability.

The first group is what I would call body positive. The second group is not. Those that think they are body positive in the second group are delusional.

Was just about the post this when I saw the poster with two kids. There's a difference between being overweight and one that is morbidly obese. Yes, one's health is none of your business, but to tell a kid that being morbidly obese because of lifestyle choices is OK is just not right.

Why? What do you think will happen if we teach kids that being morbidly obese is ok?
What if your kid loves his obese preschool teacher, and you just say that you love her too without commenting on how shameful her body is? What if your kid has a beloved uncle who is morbidly obese, and you just talk about what a great uncle he is without ever commenting on his weight or what he should of shouldn’t eat? What if it is just ok? What horrible, terrible thing will happen?

[Anonymous]

One of my students wrote an essay about the body neutrality movement and that really resonated with me.

the idea that our bodies don't deserve love or hate just because they're thin or fat...yep. We just live in them and accept them until we are ready to change them.

I want to be be super healthy and mobile and strong because I fear not being those things as I age.

But I don't love myself my body image because of those things.

I don't think there's any thing useful to be gained by by tying self-love or hate into your body and how you look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So people don’t have the right to be happy unless others say so?

Fat people never have the right to be happy; didn't you get the memo? </s>

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps because ignorant people comment negatively and nastily on fat people's bodies and weight all. of. the. time.

Fat person here. This. All day long. I don’t love being fat, I doubt anyone does. But I am so f$#&*%g tired of being looked down on, or ignored, or treated like a second class citizen because people assume I’m lazy, or dumb or whatever else (cue the aholes who will respond to this with those exact comments). Losing weight for me is really, really hard, because I hate going to the gym, have two small children, and yes, I don’t want to spend my life starving myself and working out that I hate just to please society. And I have two young girls that I don’t want to subject to body shaming or make self conscious of their own bodies. My mother obsessed about weight and being fat her whole life, and it has imprinted itself on my brain in negative talk. I do NOT want my daughters dealing with that. So yeah, I have learned to accept my body, teach them that women are beautiful at any size, it’s what’s inside that counts, and anyone who says otherwise can go pound sand.

OP here - thanks for this response! I’m sorry people are so rude. I have a daughter too, and I would never want her to feel badly about her weight. I imagine a campaign against rudeness would make more sense to me than the whole body love movement, though.

Would you say that to people born with severe genetic deformities? Dwarfism, limb differences, twisted spines, facial deformities? What about people who have lost limbs to accidents and war? Don't try to love and accept your body, just make sure people aren't rude to you about it. Would you want your daughter to feel bad about her body if she was missing an arm or a leg?

None of this will kill you.

They do lead to shorter life spans, yes they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps because ignorant people comment negatively and nastily on fat people's bodies and weight all. of. the. time.

Fat person here. This. All day long. I don’t love being fat, I doubt anyone does. But I am so f$#&*%g tired of being looked down on, or ignored, or treated like a second class citizen because people assume I’m lazy, or dumb or whatever else (cue the aholes who will respond to this with those exact comments). Losing weight for me is really, really hard, because I hate going to the gym, have two small children, and yes, I don’t want to spend my life starving myself and working out that I hate just to please society. And I have two young girls that I don’t want to subject to body shaming or make self conscious of their own bodies. My mother obsessed about weight and being fat her whole life, and it has imprinted itself on my brain in negative talk. I do NOT want my daughters dealing with that. So yeah, I have learned to accept my body, teach them that women are beautiful at any size, it’s what’s inside that counts, and anyone who says otherwise can go pound sand.

OP here - thanks for this response! I’m sorry people are so rude. I have a daughter too, and I would never want her to feel badly about her weight. I imagine a campaign against rudeness would make more sense to me than the whole body love movement, though.

Would you say that to people born with severe genetic deformities? Dwarfism, limb differences, twisted spines, facial deformities? What about people who have lost limbs to accidents and war? Don't try to love and accept your body, just make sure people aren't rude to you about it. Would you want your daughter to feel bad about her body if she was missing an arm or a leg?

How on earth is this remotely a similar analogy?! People aren't born obese. It's a choice. Much like smoking, alcoholism, drug addictions, etc. Yes, addictions are hard to break and often deeply rooted - but no one's suggesting we be endorsing alcoholic positivity, smoking positivity, drug positivity, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an overweight friend who is really into body positivity and the HAES movement. I don’t really think much about about people‘s size and I‘ve never been overweight, so body positivity is something new to me. Why do people who love their bodies need to convince everyone?

WTF - you saying it's only fat people who do this?
Are you saying skinny people who love their bodies never try to convince everyone?
Are you suggesting that confidence is a character trait that only skinny people can have?
Last I checked one's attitude and sense-of-self has absolutely nothing to do with one's looks.
Any human being can be anything when it comes to personality regardless of their physicality.
Whether fat or skinny or attractive or ugly people can be nice or mean or intelligent or idiotic or self-assured or self-conscious.
Stop trying to put labels on people and put them in boxes to lessen your ignorance/confusion of the diverse and intricate world we live in.