Do fat women who are Body-Positive really love being fat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps because ignorant people comment negatively and nastily on fat people's bodies and weight all. of. the. time.

Fat person here. This. All day long. I don’t love being fat, I doubt anyone does. But I am so f$#&*%g tired of being looked down on, or ignored, or treated like a second class citizen because people assume I’m lazy, or dumb or whatever else (cue the aholes who will respond to this with those exact comments). Losing weight for me is really, really hard, because I hate going to the gym, have two small children, and yes, I don’t want to spend my life starving myself and working out that I hate just to please society. And I have two young girls that I don’t want to subject to body shaming or make self conscious of their own bodies. My mother obsessed about weight and being fat her whole life, and it has imprinted itself on my brain in negative talk. I do NOT want my daughters dealing with that. So yeah, I have learned to accept my body, teach them that women are beautiful at any size, it’s what’s inside that counts, and anyone who says otherwise can go pound sand.

OP here - thanks for this response! I’m sorry people are so rude. I have a daughter too, and I would never want her to feel badly about her weight. I imagine a campaign against rudeness would make more sense to me than the whole body love movement, though.

Would you say that to people born with severe genetic deformities? Dwarfism, limb differences, twisted spines, facial deformities? What about people who have lost limbs to accidents and war? Don't try to love and accept your body, just make sure people aren't rude to you about it. Would you want your daughter to feel bad about her body if she was missing an arm or a leg?

I would like for my daughter to love her body, regardless of how it looks. I wouldn’t want her to go around campaigning how much she loves her body because it sounds insecure to me.

So if she's in an accident and loses a limb, you wouldn't support her if she started a campaign to say that people with different bodies can love them too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps because ignorant people comment negatively and nastily on fat people's bodies and weight all. of. the. time.

Fat person here. This. All day long. I don’t love being fat, I doubt anyone does. But I am so f$#&*%g tired of being looked down on, or ignored, or treated like a second class citizen because people assume I’m lazy, or dumb or whatever else (cue the aholes who will respond to this with those exact comments). Losing weight for me is really, really hard, because I hate going to the gym, have two small children, and yes, I don’t want to spend my life starving myself and working out that I hate just to please society. And I have two young girls that I don’t want to subject to body shaming or make self conscious of their own bodies. My mother obsessed about weight and being fat her whole life, and it has imprinted itself on my brain in negative talk. I do NOT want my daughters dealing with that. So yeah, I have learned to accept my body, teach them that women are beautiful at any size, it’s what’s inside that counts, and anyone who says otherwise can go pound sand.

OP here - thanks for this response! I’m sorry people are so rude. I have a daughter too, and I would never want her to feel badly about her weight. I imagine a campaign against rudeness would make more sense to me than the whole body love movement, though.

Would you say that to people born with severe genetic deformities? Dwarfism, limb differences, twisted spines, facial deformities? What about people who have lost limbs to accidents and war? Don't try to love and accept your body, just make sure people aren't rude to you about it. Would you want your daughter to feel bad about her body if she was missing an arm or a leg?

I would like for my daughter to love her body, regardless of how it looks. I wouldn’t want her to go around campaigning how much she loves her body because it sounds insecure to me.

So if she's in an accident and loses a limb, you wouldn't support her if she started a campaign to say that people with different bodies can love them too?

Why should other people need to be convinced she loves her body? It seems like people who genuinely care about themselves don’t need others to affirm it. But maybe I‘m wrong, I have not been overweight or disabled so that’s possible.

[Anonymous]

Would you prefer fat or disabled people hate themselves?

[Anonymous]

I’m fat and I hate it. I hate my body. I am not body positive. But gosh I love my special needs child to the moon and back.

[Anonymous]

I'm fat and own that I'm fat. To even equate being fat with being disabled or having genetic deformities, etc. is so mind-bogglingly stupid (and frankly, offensive) I don't even know where to begin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you prefer fat or disabled people hate themselves?

Pretty sure a lot of people indeed would prefer that, probably including OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m fat and I hate it. I hate my body. I am not body positive. But gosh I love my special needs child to the moon and back.

Your body carried your child. It allows you to do all of the things you need to do for him. Don’t hate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And yet we can't. We really can't. I've done every diet known to man and the weight always comes back.

You eat whatever you want and the weight never increases.

It's genes. Just like being left-handed.

I used to be very overweight and I’m thin now. I know this feeling—that thin people have it easy and don’t know what it’s like. That’s a false generalization. Many thin people are very careful about what they eat and exercise a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And yet we can't. We really can't. I've done every diet known to man and the weight always comes back.

You eat whatever you want and the weight never increases.

It's genes. Just like being left-handed.

I used to be very overweight and I’m thin now. I know this feeling—that thin people have it easy and don’t know what it’s like. That’s a false generalization. Many thin people are very careful about what they eat and exercise a lot.

Unless you have maintained a significant weight loss for more than 5-7 years, you have no idea what you are talking about. If you have maintained for that amount of time absent bariatric surgery, congratulations for being an extreme statistical anomaly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps because ignorant people comment negatively and nastily on fat people's bodies and weight all. of. the. time.

Fat person here. This. All day long. I don’t love being fat, I doubt anyone does. But I am so f$#&*%g tired of being looked down on, or ignored, or treated like a second class citizen because people assume I’m lazy, or dumb or whatever else (cue the aholes who will respond to this with those exact comments). Losing weight for me is really, really hard, because I hate going to the gym, have two small children, and yes, I don’t want to spend my life starving myself and working out that I hate just to please society. And I have two young girls that I don’t want to subject to body shaming or make self conscious of their own bodies. My mother obsessed about weight and being fat her whole life, and it has imprinted itself on my brain in negative talk. I do NOT want my daughters dealing with that. So yeah, I have learned to accept my body, teach them that women are beautiful at any size, it’s what’s inside that counts, and anyone who says otherwise can go pound sand.

OP here - thanks for this response! I’m sorry people are so rude. I have a daughter too, and I would never want her to feel badly about her weight. I imagine a campaign against rudeness would make more sense to me than the whole body love movement, though.

Would you say that to people born with severe genetic deformities? Dwarfism, limb differences, twisted spines, facial deformities? What about people who have lost limbs to accidents and war? Don't try to love and accept your body, just make sure people aren't rude to you about it. Would you want your daughter to feel bad about her body if she was missing an arm or a leg?

None of this will kill you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m fat and I hate it. I hate my body. I am not body positive. But gosh I love my special needs child to the moon and back.

Your body carried your child. It allows you to do all of the things you need to do for him. Don’t hate it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps because ignorant people comment negatively and nastily on fat people's bodies and weight all. of. the. time.

Fat person here. This. All day long. I don’t love being fat, I doubt anyone does. But I am so f$#&*%g tired of being looked down on, or ignored, or treated like a second class citizen because people assume I’m lazy, or dumb or whatever else (cue the aholes who will respond to this with those exact comments). Losing weight for me is really, really hard, because I hate going to the gym, have two small children, and yes, I don’t want to spend my life starving myself and working out that I hate just to please society. And I have two young girls that I don’t want to subject to body shaming or make self conscious of their own bodies. My mother obsessed about weight and being fat her whole life, and it has imprinted itself on my brain in negative talk. I do NOT want my daughters dealing with that. So yeah, I have learned to accept my body, teach them that women are beautiful at any size, it’s what’s inside that counts, and anyone who says otherwise can go pound sand.

OP here - thanks for this response! I’m sorry people are so rude. I have a daughter too, and I would never want her to feel badly about her weight. I imagine a campaign against rudeness would make more sense to me than the whole body love movement, though.

Would you say that to people born with severe genetic deformities? Dwarfism, limb differences, twisted spines, facial deformities? What about people who have lost limbs to accidents and war? Don't try to love and accept your body, just make sure people aren't rude to you about it. Would you want your daughter to feel bad about her body if she was missing an arm or a leg?

None of this will kill you.

Neither does obesity. In fact it seems to have some protective effects. I’m not pushing that you gain weight, just pointing out that obesity doesn’t always kill. Being skinny fat does.

[Anonymous]

I am fat and have an autoimmune problem that keeps the pounds. I'm trying to be positive about my body and stay in the best shape I can stay in. Do I "love" being overweight, no. Do I need to accept it? Yes.

[Anonymous]

I think some overweight women are gorgeous and can see why they would indeed love their bodies. And, while I am on the thin side of thin and think I look best this way, there is no health advantage to being thin-thin vs the 30 lbs higher, still healthy weight. Or even slightly overweight.

But some people look genuinely miserable at their weight. Their bodies seem to fight each step, they look hot, their clothes are ill fitting, they huff and puff. I have trouble with "body acceptance" for these types. I am also generally open to quite thin people, even underweight. But if you look so brittle you'd snap in half if someone pat you on the back, and too faint to walk fast, I can't get on board. People in both categories always think they can't change. Both are wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And yet we can't. We really can't. I've done every diet known to man and the weight always comes back.

You eat whatever you want and the weight never increases.

It's genes. Just like being left-handed.

I used to be very overweight and I’m thin now. I know this feeling—that thin people have it easy and don’t know what it’s like. That’s a false generalization. Many thin people are very careful about what they eat and exercise a lot.

Unless you have maintained a significant weight loss for more than 5-7 years, you have no idea what you are talking about. If you have maintained for that amount of time absent bariatric surgery, congratulations for being an extreme statistical anomaly.

Np to this thread, and have maintained my weightloss (naturally, no surgery) for almost 6 years. I'm not a genetic anomaly. It's hard work - to cook and prep more meals, and to exercise most days of the week. Changing habits is hard, but once you do, you don't know how you lived any differently.

I have sympathy for fat/obese people, but it's absurd to blame it on genes, or to pretend someone "looks great" or beautiful being obese. "Health at every size" is also an impossibility - human bodies were simply not designed to carry so much excess weight on bones, joints, ligaments, etc. I don't care what your blood pressure is right now - being obese automatically makes your body unhealthy.

Of course that does not mean that skinny people are automatically healthy - being fit with good muscle mass is a much better qualifier. Skinny but weak isn't a great end of the spectrum, either.

All of us have choices - doesn't make them easy, but it helps no one by lying to oneself and blaming it on genes.