Separating after 20+ years married. Alimony?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the poster who said “women can do whatever they please” sure they can as long as they have a man taking care of them.
Terrible example to set for your kids.
And OP, if after 20 years you have no real
Assets or retirement savingns then no, your business is not a success. It’s actually a life failure and you both should have cut it loose at the 10 year mark. Please start looking for work now but I suspect other than a retail, or admin you aren’t going to have much luck. But better start preparing now.

Agree on all counts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is there so much antipathy towards people in marriages who choose to take care of their children as their primary and best use of their time on earth. We only get one shot at parenthood. Children are our legacy on earth when we die. The total lack of respect for people who choose to prioritize their time for their family over earning more money is shocking to me.

Plus one. what a backward society we live in where people only think a woman's Worth is contributing to a capitalist system and not spending quality time raising her children. This isn't to say, of course, that working mothers aren't also great mothers. But it's absolutely bonkers that we don't put equal or higher value on women who choose to devote their time raising their children.

and it's only women who attacked like this. Men don't look down on stay-at-home parents the same way

Yes we do. Anyone who uses up social resources doing something like getting a medical or law degree and then sits on their ass at home is not just making their family worse-off, but making the entire country worse-off.

I don't know any men who feel this way. I also know many men who got a medical or law degree, then ended up in a entirely different career.

When I left my biglaw job to stay home after more than 10 years of working there, the women were pissed (apparently this is a no-no for the sisterhood) and the men were all congratulatory and telling me I was doing the right thing. Frankly, I didn’t GAF what anyone thought other than my family. I am not making decisions based on what is best for society. No one does that.

Another biglaw partner here and this is spot on. Honestly, many of the men would lean out if that was remotely a possibility and not get sidetracked or had a wife who made substantial money AND was cool with a "less than ambitious" husband. When the women leave to spend more time at home, the reaction from men is "good for you" and from women it's a betrayal of the sisterhood. Misery loves company.

To be fair you sample size is Big Law which is morally the bottom of the barrel so... not really relevant to normal moral people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never worked. Raised two kids. Helped part to full time (unpaid) with DH business for most of marriage. Am I entitled to alimony? Is there still such a thing as permanent alimony? I’m in my mid 50’s.

Yes. You DID work.

What a stupid response. Money in the bank is going to be what matters as she moves forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never worked. Raised two kids. Helped part to full time (unpaid) with DH business for most of marriage. Am I entitled to alimony? Is there still such a thing as permanent alimony? I’m in my mid 50’s.

Yes. If you were married for more than 20 years you will get permanent lifetime alimony unless you committed adultery. I. Virginia I mean.

It does not last forever; or more likely it is a percentage of earned income. If retires, and no earned income, no alimony.