Separating after 20+ years married. Alimony?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I always made within 10% of each other except for one year when he took a big pay cut to get a resume stamp. We spend $60k+ a year on childcare. OP conveyed plenty of value to her family and deserves half of what they built together.

+100

[Anonymous]

What state are you in?

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What state are you in?

Maryland

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never worked. Raised two kids. Helped part to full time (unpaid) with DH business for most of marriage. Am I entitled to alimony? Is there still such a thing as permanent alimony? I’m in my mid 50’s.

On what planet did you live that you never worked?

“All women are actresses, I just get paid for it”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never worked. Raised two kids. Helped part to full time (unpaid) with DH business for most of marriage. Am I entitled to alimony? Is there still such a thing as permanent alimony? I’m in my mid 50’s.

On what planet did you live that you never worked?

“All women are actresses, I just get paid for it”

Sorry - op again - meant to say never worked after age 35 when our two children were born - worked full time until then. Stopped when had kids for a few years - then started helping more and more with business while raising kids as well............

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never worked. Raised two kids. Helped part to full time (unpaid) with DH business for most of marriage. Am I entitled to alimony? Is there still such a thing as permanent alimony? I’m in my mid 50’s.

On what planet did you live that you never worked?

“All women are actresses, I just get paid for it”

Oh, she most certainly did work. She worked unpaid in her husband's business part to full time for 20 years while taking care of their children. Marriage is a partnership and Op did her fair share and then some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never worked. Raised two kids. Helped part to full time (unpaid) with DH business for most of marriage. Am I entitled to alimony? Is there still such a thing as permanent alimony? I’m in my mid 50’s.

On what planet did you live that you never worked?

“All women are actresses, I just get paid for it”

Sorry - op again - meant to say never worked after age 35 when our two children were born - worked full time until then. Stopped when had kids for a few years - then started helping more and more with business while raising kids as well............

This is sad, Op. Why on earth are you splitting from your husband after 20 years of building your a life together? I just feel so bad for you and your family. I'm sure this was a very difficult decision for both of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What state are you in?

Maryland

Why the divorce? Maryland looks at fault but is not an alimony friendly state. The length of the marriage, your need for support will be considered but unless you are in your 70s the Jidge is going to expect that you work. Your situation is a reminder to women whose DHs want them to SAH to get a pre or post nup covering alimony

[Anonymous]

You’ll also be expected to return to the job market at your age. Unless you have small children to care for the judge will base alimony on your ability to return to the work force, and I mean any type of work your qualified to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. And you will get some assets, too.

No, there's no permanent alimony. They'll get 5-8 years of payments plus half the assets/retirement accounts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alimony is for the pathetic . Support yourself. Gravy train is over. Don’t you have any pride?

OP, please just let these unhelpful comments roll off of your back.

I'm not divorced but I had a very lucrative career pre-kids. DH and I made a mutual decision that I would stay home to raise the kids. We both worked 14+ hour days and we knew it wouldn't work unless we had help raise our kids, which we didn't want to do.

We both recognize my contribution to the marriage and that certainly includes my husband's company. He is the first one to say he couldn't have done it without me.

If we divorced I was sure as hell go for alimony and anything else I could get. I have pride and I have a brain. Yes, you will get alimony in VA. 10 years is pretty standard considering the length of your marriage.

I wish the best for you and I'm sorry for all you are going through. I'm also sorry that some on this board feel the need to pile on. That's about them, not you.

Bravo.

[Anonymous]

My Sister was married for close to twenty years.

When she divorced, she got 1/2 of what her husband earns plus 1/2 his retirement.

The alimony is forever unless she re-marries.
She lives in CA which is hugely a property state.

[Anonymous]

Yeah you should be. You need a lawyer.

Lesson to all us younger ones out there: don’t spend the prime years of your life working for free to support a man’s success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Sister was married for close to twenty years.

When she divorced, she got 1/2 of what her husband earns plus 1/2 his retirement.

The alimony is forever unless she re-marries.
She lives in CA which is hugely a property state.

The state should compel her to work the same number of hours per week as her ex husband. Even if that’s a minimum wage Walmart job, it is unconscionable to think that a State can force a man to work while a woman does no work. Regardless of how great she might have once been as a SAHM, once those child duties are complete (ie kids are in school full time) she has NOT done anything to earn a lifetime of free income with zero work hours.