How hard to find a 1/2 time boyfriend in early 40s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No - more like I’m saying to OP (not to you), that I feel like her. That I’m finding it’s a realistic want, and a good lifestyle. That I find it enables me to be a great mom and after going through my experience it gives me the dual benefit of feeling as though I’m doing what’s best for my kids.

If In 10 years I change my mind great!!!! If in 3 mos I change my mind great!!! I totally get that minds change as I’ve been divorced, you see.

I’m just not foolish to enter into a legal contract again- knowing as I know that things change.

I don’t know why that puts you in such a tizzy.

Right. As you say: it's not a contract. So, as far as OP is concerned, any so-called promise or commitment by her FWB is meaningless, because most FWBs probably have exactly the same attitude as you do--a realistic one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh really? A 50/50 dad pulling a full time job and multiple kids solo is out hunting for great V more than twice a week?

Absolutely. Or at least will certainly not turn down available opportunities. Why should he?

The fact that you delude yourself otherwise seems consistent with your need to proclaim yourself as a "great V".

Those who got it, don't need to brag about it.

[Anonymous]

Eh- above you praise me for my realism, then you knock my V?

Whatever dude.

Maybe your life is more exciting than most in my affluent community but “great v” doesn’t just walk up to your couch offering “ipportunities“.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh- above you praise me for my realism, then you knock my V?

Whatever dude.

Maybe your life is more exciting than most in my affluent community but “great v” doesn’t just walk up to your couch offering “ipportunities“.

If by "great" you mean it in the sense of "very large", "capacious," or "voluminous," then you'll get no argument from me.

[Anonymous]

Yes women’s giant meat flaps . Their meat curtain. Their giant gAsh.


Yep, it’s no wonder your wife doesn’t want to get naked with you. You’re a misogynist.

[Anonymous]

OP you need therapy. And so does the weirdo 43 yr old “rich” chick.

You need to spend time without a man and learn to resolve the emotional issues you are dealing with. No amount of sexing will make that go away.

You need to learn self love. Your children will never learn that if they don’t see you model it. Everything you’ve shared screams of low/no self worth. You do deserve so much better OP.

[Anonymous]

You were fortunate to find an available man with a compatibly low sex drive, but once or twice a week is probably not enough for a divorced man in his 40s coming out of a low or no sex marriage.

Can confirm!

Oh really? A 50/50 dad pulling a full time job and multiple kids solo is out hunting for great V more than twice a week?

Every single day I don't have custody, I want to have sex. So, three times in one week, four times in the next week.

As a practical matter, this means more than one FWB.

[Anonymous]

Yes but you sound like a man whore.

Look if you can go chase strange 4 nights a week that’s wonderful! You wouldn’t appeal to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you need therapy. And so does the weirdo 43 yr old “rich” chick.

You need to spend time without a man and learn to resolve the emotional issues you are dealing with. No amount of sexing will make that go away.

You need to learn self love. Your children will never learn that if they don’t see you model it. Everything you’ve shared screams of low/no self worth. You do deserve so much better OP.

Women who can own their own sexuality have no self worth?


Honey 1958 called, they want you back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you need therapy. And so does the weirdo 43 yr old “rich” chick.

You need to spend time without a man and learn to resolve the emotional issues you are dealing with. No amount of sexing will make that go away.

You need to learn self love. Your children will never learn that if they don’t see you model it. Everything you’ve shared screams of low/no self worth. You do deserve so much better OP.

Women who can own their own sexuality have no self worth?


Honey 1958 called, they want you back.

Honey, the clinic called and they said be sure to show up this month for the monthly STD and AIDS check due to all the random sex you feel you must have.

Owning your sexuality does not and should not equate to lack of emotional intimacy with others and self love.

[Anonymous]

So you’re online at 6 am telling a stranger they’re a whore with STDs?

Whatever gets you off, hun.

I’ve slept with one person since my divorce 14 mos ago.

Maybe you didn’t know how to go on dates and set your own parameters- but I do.

[Anonymous]

OP, wishing you all the best as you put yourself out there in the dating world. Cheers to a quick and healing self-recovery process.

Just like on this forum, you'll find everything out there, in the online dating sites. You'll learn to read between the lines on the write-ups and screen prospective men on the phone, as well as fine-tune your own write up. You'll have great stories to share with GF's with the dating disasters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes but you sound like a man whore.

Look if you can go chase strange 4 nights a week that’s wonderful! You wouldn’t appeal to me.

No, it doesn't mean he will be "chasing strange 4 nights a week." It does mean he wants more sex than he is getting from his FWB, and if the opportunity arises from time to time, he will not consider himself foreclosed from purusing outside interests.

"Exclusive," which is what OP wants, means her FWB does not have sex with anyone else but her, EVER, during the entire course of their relationship.

It's amazing that some people don't actually understand what "exclusive" means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you’re online at 6 am telling a stranger they’re a whore with STDs?

Whatever gets you off, hun.

I’ve slept with one person since my divorce 14 mos ago.

Maybe you didn’t know how to go on dates and set your own parameters- but I do.

What you are trying to communicate is unclear. Are you saying that you slept with one person in 14 months despite having numerous other opportunities out of self-control, or are you saying you didn't have numerous other opportunities, or are you saying you don't even care about other opportunities because you have a low sex drive in the first place?

In addition to number of partners, we also need to know frequency of having sex with that partner. That would give us more information about whether you are not motivated to find other partners by a low sex drive or perhaps there is another reason.

If it's because you have a low sex drive, then congratulations on being monogamous with your FWB, but typically men coming out of low/no sex marriages have different preferences.

You're a woman, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you need therapy. And so does the weirdo 43 yr old “rich” chick.

You need to spend time without a man and learn to resolve the emotional issues you are dealing with. No amount of sexing will make that go away.

You need to learn self love. Your children will never learn that if they don’t see you model it. Everything you’ve shared screams of low/no self worth. You do deserve so much better OP.

I agree with this.

OP is expressing a strong emotional need for male validation in a relationship, which she isn't getting in her marriage, but her bad marriage has made her so resentful of men that she is simultaneously resisting the idea of a fulfilling emotional relationship with a new partner ever being possible.

The inherent conflict which appears between what she actually seems to want or need, and what she says she intends to seek, will not lead to a satisfactory relationship outcome for OP, regardless if it's just a temporary FWB, or something deeper.