Single moms and dating

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I'm dating a single dad with two kids and for the first few months it was very difficult and frustrating to find time to get together. We were lucky if it was once a week. But now that I've met his children I spend a good amount of time with all of them and though our one on one time is limited it's working out pretty well. His children are very nice which makes a world of difference.

FYI the mother of those "very nice" kids probably despises this, by the way. They are indeed very nice, so they won't be rude to you, but you are getting in the way of their limited time with their Dad. They DNGAF about you, pleasant as you may be. Not that you would understand since you don't have children. Back off. Date that Dad when he has down time. Don't dilute his time with his children by your distracting presence. The kids don't like it, either. Beat it.

You are obviously an angry ex wife who despises that her ex has moved on with someone your children like. Time for a chill pill.

Mothers do not "take chill pills" if they think their children are demoted to make way for fun new GF.

It’s all fair game after he divorced you. Sorry!

Most likely, the divorce was her idea, but she thinks she gets to keep controlling him even after she kicked him to the kerb.

Why would you say that? He initiated divorce. He did the things necessitating divorce. I have no control over him, nor did I during our marriage, nor did I endeavor to control him. What a weird thing to say. He is a normal, perhaps more broken than average, man.

I am commenting that he should not actively date this new lady while he is in parent mode (less than half time as it is). He is distracted enough as it is by his phone, his all important work, etc. now this ridiculous, pretentious, self centered new woman (childless at 41 this clueless regarding kids) is further distracting him. The kids are polite but do not want to spend time with her.

Why would I say that? Because women initiate 70% of all divorces. And also, yes, women endeavor to control men. Our entire society has created a web of laws and social norms so that women can control men -- and women insist this is justified because they are "victims" (even as they also pretend they are strong and independent).

You don't get to say what he "should" do. When the divorce was final, what he does and how he behaves became 100% his business and 0% your business.

You are a lunatic if you think parents won’t actively be concerned about inappropriate or even uncomfortable parenting by the other parent. Do you even have kids, Mr Controlled-by-his-wife?

"Inappropriate and uncomfortable" is a matter of opinion. If she thinks that his parenting is inappropriate and uncomfortable, that's her problem. He has no obligation to care or change his behavior. (I have no doubt there are parenting things she does that he doesn't like.) If she took her complaints to court, the judge would shrug and say "so what?" The judge would not change custody just because one party thinks the other party is parenting wrong and should do it differently. In short, she does not get to say what he "should" do. Unless and until he endangers the child's safety, which he is not doing now, his behavior is none of her business, and she should shut up and get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm dating a single dad with two kids and for the first few months it was very difficult and frustrating to find time to get together. We were lucky if it was once a week. But now that I've met his children I spend a good amount of time with all of them and though our one on one time is limited it's working out pretty well. His children are very nice which makes a world of difference.

FYI the mother of those "very nice" kids probably despises this, by the way. They are indeed very nice, so they won't be rude to you, but you are getting in the way of their limited time with their Dad. They DNGAF about you, pleasant as you may be. Not that you would understand since you don't have children. Back off. Date that Dad when he has down time. Don't dilute his time with his children by your distracting presence. The kids don't like it, either. Beat it.

You are obviously an angry ex wife who despises that her ex has moved on with someone your children like. Time for a chill pill.

Mothers do not "take chill pills" if they think their children are demoted to make way for fun new GF.

It’s all fair game after he divorced you. Sorry!

Most likely, the divorce was her idea, but she thinks she gets to keep controlling him even after she kicked him to the kerb.

Why would you say that? He initiated divorce. He did the things necessitating divorce. I have no control over him, nor did I during our marriage, nor did I endeavor to control him. What a weird thing to say. He is a normal, perhaps more broken than average, man.

I am commenting that he should not actively date this new lady while he is in parent mode (less than half time as it is). He is distracted enough as it is by his phone, his all important work, etc. now this ridiculous, pretentious, self centered new woman (childless at 41 this clueless regarding kids) is further distracting him. The kids are polite but do not want to spend time with her.

Why would I say that? Because women initiate 70% of all divorces. And also, yes, women endeavor to control men. Our entire society has created a web of laws and social norms so that women can control men -- and women insist this is justified because they are "victims" (even as they also pretend they are strong and independent).

You don't get to say what he "should" do. When the divorce was final, what he does and how he behaves became 100% his business and 0% your business.

You are a lunatic if you think parents won’t actively be concerned about inappropriate or even uncomfortable parenting by the other parent. Do you even have kids, Mr Controlled-by-his-wife?

"Inappropriate and uncomfortable" is a matter of opinion. If she thinks that his parenting is inappropriate and uncomfortable, that's her problem. He has no obligation to care or change his behavior. (I have no doubt there are parenting things she does that he doesn't like.) If she took her complaints to court, the judge would shrug and say "so what?" The judge would not change custody just because one party thinks the other party is parenting wrong and should do it differently. In short, she does not get to say what he "should" do. Unless and until he endangers the child's safety, which he is not doing now, his behavior is none of her business, and she should shut up and get over it.

“Shut up”? Are you in 5th grade?

I believe the comment is directed at the woman attempting to date a single Dad (in summary: don’t distract him during parent time), not the ex husband himself.