Single moms and dating

[Anonymous]

Now you sound like a bitter ex-husband or aggressive second wife. Oy.

Can anyone see beyond their own subject position about these things?

[Anonymous]

See how fun dating can be, single parents! You'll be judged, either way, so have fun!

[Anonymous]

Single parent dating in this country works because there is a large pool of divorced/unwed dads/moms but not so in other cultures where these people are stigmatized and considered shameful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm dating a single dad with two kids and for the first few months it was very difficult and frustrating to find time to get together. We were lucky if it was once a week. But now that I've met his children I spend a good amount of time with all of them and though our one on one time is limited it's working out pretty well. His children are very nice which makes a world of difference.

FYI the mother of those "very nice" kids probably despises this, by the way. They are indeed very nice, so they won't be rude to you, but you are getting in the way of their limited time with their Dad. They DNGAF about you, pleasant as you may be. Not that you would understand since you don't have children. Back off. Date that Dad when he has down time. Don't dilute his time with his children by your distracting presence. The kids don't like it, either. Beat it.

Amen. Anyone who is spending weekly time with someone else’s kids before 6 to 9 months of dating and having decided that marriage is likely, is just messing with little kids heads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm dating a single dad with two kids and for the first few months it was very difficult and frustrating to find time to get together. We were lucky if it was once a week. But now that I've met his children I spend a good amount of time with all of them and though our one on one time is limited it's working out pretty well. His children are very nice which makes a world of difference.

FYI the mother of those "very nice" kids probably despises this, by the way. They are indeed very nice, so they won't be rude to you, but you are getting in the way of their limited time with their Dad. They DNGAF about you, pleasant as you may be. Not that you would understand since you don't have children. Back off. Date that Dad when he has down time. Don't dilute his time with his children by your distracting presence. The kids don't like it, either. Beat it.

You are obviously an angry ex wife who despises that her ex has moved on with someone your children like. Time for a chill pill.

Mothers do not "take chill pills" if they think their children are demoted to make way for fun new GF.

Children demoted? Sounds like dad was demoted to every-other-weekend. Why shouldn't he start a new family with someone else? I know many men who have, and the kids or step-kids from the second marriage always turn out better.

That is a horribly mean and disrespectful thing to say. And untrue. A child can be blessed with more love, without force ranking someone else’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I just got home from visiting my FWB. He has become LTR, over the last several years. We caught up about our week apart, went straight to his giant beautiful bed, he made love to me in the best most delicious and fun way. The only kind of love making you can do when you haven’t seen one another in a while and miss each other. Something to be said for that. Then we laughed and talked, went out for burgers downtown, and I dropped him of at his house. Now I’m home, very happy, kids are asleep in bed, and it’s back to usual life. It can be done, people. I highly recommend something similar to single parents.

FWB is not LTR if all you guys are doing are having sex and eating burgers.

Dinner and shag was just one evening. He’s also attending a family wedding with me, and we host Thanksgiving this year for both sides of family. It’s a LTR, just with fewer things to argue over.

This is what I was referring to! They can become LTRs in the long run.

+ 1

[Anonymous]

I was a single mother for many years. My child always came first. My son spent the weekends at his father's place once every two weeks. That was when I "dated" odd guys. I met my husband when I was in my 40s (my son was 15-16), and I didn't bring him at all into my son's life, until I was sure we would have a good relationship. My son was mildly antagonist, but that passed. We moved together about a year and half after meeting, and married the next summer. My son still comes first and his children are tied for first with him. My husband understands as he has 3 children, himself, scattered around the US and the UK. His daughter lived with us for year, by agreement with her mother. There were the usual blended family problems, but we have survived them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm dating a single dad with two kids and for the first few months it was very difficult and frustrating to find time to get together. We were lucky if it was once a week. But now that I've met his children I spend a good amount of time with all of them and though our one on one time is limited it's working out pretty well. His children are very nice which makes a world of difference.

FYI the mother of those "very nice" kids probably despises this, by the way. They are indeed very nice, so they won't be rude to you, but you are getting in the way of their limited time with their Dad. They DNGAF about you, pleasant as you may be. Not that you would understand since you don't have children. Back off. Date that Dad when he has down time. Don't dilute his time with his children by your distracting presence. The kids don't like it, either. Beat it.

You are obviously an angry ex wife who despises that her ex has moved on with someone your children like. Time for a chill pill.

Mothers do not "take chill pills" if they think their children are demoted to make way for fun new GF.

It’s all fair game after he divorced you. Sorry!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm dating a single dad with two kids and for the first few months it was very difficult and frustrating to find time to get together. We were lucky if it was once a week. But now that I've met his children I spend a good amount of time with all of them and though our one on one time is limited it's working out pretty well. His children are very nice which makes a world of difference.

FYI the mother of those "very nice" kids probably despises this, by the way. They are indeed very nice, so they won't be rude to you, but you are getting in the way of their limited time with their Dad. They DNGAF about you, pleasant as you may be. Not that you would understand since you don't have children. Back off. Date that Dad when he has down time. Don't dilute his time with his children by your distracting presence. The kids don't like it, either. Beat it.

You are obviously an angry ex wife who despises that her ex has moved on with someone your children like. Time for a chill pill.

Mothers do not "take chill pills" if they think their children are demoted to make way for fun new GF.

It’s all fair game after he divorced you. Sorry!

Most likely, the divorce was her idea, but she thinks she gets to keep controlling him even after she kicked him to the kerb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm dating a single dad with two kids and for the first few months it was very difficult and frustrating to find time to get together. We were lucky if it was once a week. But now that I've met his children I spend a good amount of time with all of them and though our one on one time is limited it's working out pretty well. His children are very nice which makes a world of difference.

FYI the mother of those "very nice" kids probably despises this, by the way. They are indeed very nice, so they won't be rude to you, but you are getting in the way of their limited time with their Dad. They DNGAF about you, pleasant as you may be. Not that you would understand since you don't have children. Back off. Date that Dad when he has down time. Don't dilute his time with his children by your distracting presence. The kids don't like it, either. Beat it.

You are obviously an angry ex wife who despises that her ex has moved on with someone your children like. Time for a chill pill.

Mothers do not "take chill pills" if they think their children are demoted to make way for fun new GF.

It’s all fair game after he divorced you. Sorry!

Most likely, the divorce was her idea, but she thinks she gets to keep controlling him even after she kicked him to the kerb.

The bias is strong with you, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm dating a single dad with two kids and for the first few months it was very difficult and frustrating to find time to get together. We were lucky if it was once a week. But now that I've met his children I spend a good amount of time with all of them and though our one on one time is limited it's working out pretty well. His children are very nice which makes a world of difference.

FYI the mother of those "very nice" kids probably despises this, by the way. They are indeed very nice, so they won't be rude to you, but you are getting in the way of their limited time with their Dad. They DNGAF about you, pleasant as you may be. Not that you would understand since you don't have children. Back off. Date that Dad when he has down time. Don't dilute his time with his children by your distracting presence. The kids don't like it, either. Beat it.

You are obviously an angry ex wife who despises that her ex has moved on with someone your children like. Time for a chill pill.

Mothers do not "take chill pills" if they think their children are demoted to make way for fun new GF.

It’s all fair game after he divorced you. Sorry!

Most likely, the divorce was her idea, but she thinks she gets to keep controlling him even after she kicked him to the kerb.

Why would you say that? He initiated divorce. He did the things necessitating divorce. I have no control over him, nor did I during our marriage, nor did I endeavor to control him. What a weird thing to say. He is a normal, perhaps more broken than average, man.

I am commenting that he should not actively date this new lady while he is in parent mode (less than half time as it is). He is distracted enough as it is by his phone, his all important work, etc. now this ridiculous, pretentious, self centered new woman (childless at 41 this clueless regarding kids) is further distracting him. The kids are polite but do not want to spend time with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm dating a single dad with two kids and for the first few months it was very difficult and frustrating to find time to get together. We were lucky if it was once a week. But now that I've met his children I spend a good amount of time with all of them and though our one on one time is limited it's working out pretty well. His children are very nice which makes a world of difference.

FYI the mother of those "very nice" kids probably despises this, by the way. They are indeed very nice, so they won't be rude to you, but you are getting in the way of their limited time with their Dad. They DNGAF about you, pleasant as you may be. Not that you would understand since you don't have children. Back off. Date that Dad when he has down time. Don't dilute his time with his children by your distracting presence. The kids don't like it, either. Beat it.

You are obviously an angry ex wife who despises that her ex has moved on with someone your children like. Time for a chill pill.

Mothers do not "take chill pills" if they think their children are demoted to make way for fun new GF.

It’s all fair game after he divorced you. Sorry!

Most likely, the divorce was her idea, but she thinks she gets to keep controlling him even after she kicked him to the kerb.

Why would you say that? He initiated divorce. He did the things necessitating divorce. I have no control over him, nor did I during our marriage, nor did I endeavor to control him. What a weird thing to say. He is a normal, perhaps more broken than average, man.

I am commenting that he should not actively date this new lady while he is in parent mode (less than half time as it is). He is distracted enough as it is by his phone, his all important work, etc. now this ridiculous, pretentious, self centered new woman (childless at 41 this clueless regarding kids) is further distracting him. The kids are polite but do not want to spend time with her.

Why would I say that? Because women initiate 70% of all divorces. And also, yes, women endeavor to control men. Our entire society has created a web of laws and social norms so that women can control men -- and women insist this is justified because they are "victims" (even as they also pretend they are strong and independent).

You don't get to say what he "should" do. When the divorce was final, what he does and how he behaves became 100% his business and 0% your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm dating a single dad with two kids and for the first few months it was very difficult and frustrating to find time to get together. We were lucky if it was once a week. But now that I've met his children I spend a good amount of time with all of them and though our one on one time is limited it's working out pretty well. His children are very nice which makes a world of difference.

FYI the mother of those "very nice" kids probably despises this, by the way. They are indeed very nice, so they won't be rude to you, but you are getting in the way of their limited time with their Dad. They DNGAF about you, pleasant as you may be. Not that you would understand since you don't have children. Back off. Date that Dad when he has down time. Don't dilute his time with his children by your distracting presence. The kids don't like it, either. Beat it.

You are obviously an angry ex wife who despises that her ex has moved on with someone your children like. Time for a chill pill.

Mothers do not "take chill pills" if they think their children are demoted to make way for fun new GF.

It’s all fair game after he divorced you. Sorry!

Most likely, the divorce was her idea, but she thinks she gets to keep controlling him even after she kicked him to the kerb.

Why would you say that? He initiated divorce. He did the things necessitating divorce. I have no control over him, nor did I during our marriage, nor did I endeavor to control him. What a weird thing to say. He is a normal, perhaps more broken than average, man.

I am commenting that he should not actively date this new lady while he is in parent mode (less than half time as it is). He is distracted enough as it is by his phone, his all important work, etc. now this ridiculous, pretentious, self centered new woman (childless at 41 this clueless regarding kids) is further distracting him. The kids are polite but do not want to spend time with her.

Why would I say that? Because women initiate 70% of all divorces. And also, yes, women endeavor to control men. Our entire society has created a web of laws and social norms so that women can control men -- and women insist this is justified because they are "victims" (even as they also pretend they are strong and independent).

You don't get to say what he "should" do. When the divorce was final, what he does and how he behaves became 100% his business and 0% your business.

My children and what they experience as minors under his care always will be 100% my business.

What happened to you doesn’t happen to everyone. Go be alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm dating a single dad with two kids and for the first few months it was very difficult and frustrating to find time to get together. We were lucky if it was once a week. But now that I've met his children I spend a good amount of time with all of them and though our one on one time is limited it's working out pretty well. His children are very nice which makes a world of difference.

FYI the mother of those "very nice" kids probably despises this, by the way. They are indeed very nice, so they won't be rude to you, but you are getting in the way of their limited time with their Dad. They DNGAF about you, pleasant as you may be. Not that you would understand since you don't have children. Back off. Date that Dad when he has down time. Don't dilute his time with his children by your distracting presence. The kids don't like it, either. Beat it.

You are obviously an angry ex wife who despises that her ex has moved on with someone your children like. Time for a chill pill.

Mothers do not "take chill pills" if they think their children are demoted to make way for fun new GF.

It’s all fair game after he divorced you. Sorry!

Most likely, the divorce was her idea, but she thinks she gets to keep controlling him even after she kicked him to the kerb.

Why would you say that? He initiated divorce. He did the things necessitating divorce. I have no control over him, nor did I during our marriage, nor did I endeavor to control him. What a weird thing to say. He is a normal, perhaps more broken than average, man.

I am commenting that he should not actively date this new lady while he is in parent mode (less than half time as it is). He is distracted enough as it is by his phone, his all important work, etc. now this ridiculous, pretentious, self centered new woman (childless at 41 this clueless regarding kids) is further distracting him. The kids are polite but do not want to spend time with her.

Why would I say that? Because women initiate 70% of all divorces. And also, yes, women endeavor to control men. Our entire society has created a web of laws and social norms so that women can control men -- and women insist this is justified because they are "victims" (even as they also pretend they are strong and independent).

You don't get to say what he "should" do. When the divorce was final, what he does and how he behaves became 100% his business and 0% your business.

You are a lunatic if you think parents won’t actively be concerned about inappropriate or even uncomfortable parenting by the other parent. Do you even have kids, Mr Controlled-by-his-wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 35, single, with a 9yo DD. In theory, I'd like to meet another single dad, but I've had better success with single men without kids. DD is with Dad every weekend so I actually have quite a bit of free time each week. I met a single dad who had his DD every weekend. In addition to our schedules being incompatible, I felt he used his DD as an alibi sometimes. That really annoyed me as a single parent, because it illustrates why childless people are sometimes guarded with us. I was in a relationship with a single dad this year and thought, finally, someone who gets it. He had primary custody of his girls. I later found out that he had a son that he hadn't mentioned from outside of his marriage.

It's been MUCH easier to date single guys without kids and that's primarily what I've always attracted. However, the older I get, the less open I am to having another kid. The guys I've dated who were serious about settling down longterm were those who wanted to start a family vice remarry.

Dating is totally different from marriage. No idea why a single guy would marry a woman who already has minor children. It's different if the children are adults but then they can still be a headache.

He loves her?