Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...

[Anonymous]

The older generation knows how to be rich and act poor: my parents (in their 70s) are worth at least 15M+ and literally wear sneakers from Costco until they have holes in them. They drive cars until they are well over 15-18 years old. They cut coupons. They eat at Applebee's, if they eat out at all. They clean their own house, mow their own lawn, and basically refuse to pay for a single service or convenience.

They are also well-educated and when they were in their 40s and making 7 figures they were more flashy, but they grew up working class and in their old age they've found that's what makes them happy. They are also really paranoid about spending money and so they hoard.

THAT is hiding your wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Airline points aren't the only "points" people travel on. We use points from our credit card to book hotels and flights (thanks chase sapphire reserve). The assumption that people are lying to you because they feel so sorry that you have less is a little silly.

The reason I think people on this thread are resentful (which btw is kind of pathetic) is that you need a great credit score and you need to spend a pretty substantial amount of money to have enough credit card points to book trips. So people acting like they don't have a ton of money even though they are using points is offensive, I guess.

This is not true. At least not what people on this thread seem to think is a substantial amount of money. I travel two to three times a year for work and get flight and hotel points when I do. Every time I travel I join the hotel frequent traveler account and sign up for any deals they have. I regularly get at least one free night for every business trip. Then I have an airline credit card. I put all our expenses on that card. Everything. We spend about $3k a month on average on that card and earn about 60,000 points a year which is enough for one flight to Europe or two to US destination. It doesn't pay for our entire trip but it subsidizes them significantly. Plus switching cards occasionally gives you big sign up bonuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought most people we know likely think we have a much higher income than we do.

We live in a house we bought for $200k that is now worth nearly $1m. We eat out a lot and we go on a lot of trips and vacations. A LOT. But we use points and deals all the time and I'm an excellent frugal travel shopper. We've had some amazing trips, including a two week trip to the SW for less than $2k incl air fare (family of four), regular trips to Europe and to Maine every summer. But our vacation budget so far this year has been less than $3k. If it comes up I'll share my travel tips, but sometimes I'm embarrassed how our travels may appear to others.

Our income is actually about $95k with a stay at home spouse.

What is SW?

So weird

I'll give you three guesses.

You really don't know what SW is an abbreviation for? South West. In this case Arizona, Nevada and Colorado. Grand canyon and other national parks.

I don't know anyone who abbreviates it this way when talking about vacation (and I wouldn't lump in Colorado into it, even though some travel guides might). Doesn't matter: 2k for 4 sounds about right if the goal is national parks and not spas.

I'd be pressed to cover airfare and rental car on that budget for two weeks, not to mention food and accommodation and I'm cheap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Airline points aren't the only "points" people travel on. We use points from our credit card to book hotels and flights (thanks chase sapphire reserve). The assumption that people are lying to you because they feel so sorry that you have less is a little silly.

The reason I think people on this thread are resentful (which btw is kind of pathetic) is that you need a great credit score and you need to spend a pretty substantial amount of money to have enough credit card points to book trips. So people acting like they don't have a ton of money even though they are using points is offensive, I guess.

This is not true. At least not what people on this thread seem to think is a substantial amount of money. I travel two to three times a year for work and get flight and hotel points when I do. Every time I travel I join the hotel frequent traveler account and sign up for any deals they have. I regularly get at least one free night for every business trip. Then I have an airline credit card. I put all our expenses on that card. Everything. We spend about $3k a month on average on that card and earn about 60,000 points a year which is enough for one flight to Europe or two to US destination. It doesn't pay for our entire trip but it subsidizes them significantly. Plus switching cards occasionally gives you big sign up bonuses.

That entire screed was delusional.

- Signed a person who spends $30k a month on a business card and travels at least twice a month by place.

I mean unless you're flying Spirit Coach and staying in motel 6s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Self made is rising out of poverty. My husband, who had no indoor bathroom, heat from wood he chopped and stacked and sometimes went to neighbors to "borrow" food is self made. He joined the Army and served overseas so he could go to college and he worked as a janitor in college to pay for food and rent. Very few people who aren't immigrants have any idea what it means to be poor. We don't ever flash $ and our children have no idea how much we have. They are expected to work after college. We help with down payments once they're established.

Well done, man. This is inspirational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Airline points aren't the only "points" people travel on. We use points from our credit card to book hotels and flights (thanks chase sapphire reserve). The assumption that people are lying to you because they feel so sorry that you have less is a little silly.

The reason I think people on this thread are resentful (which btw is kind of pathetic) is that you need a great credit score and you need to spend a pretty substantial amount of money to have enough credit card points to book trips. So people acting like they don't have a ton of money even though they are using points is offensive, I guess.

This is not true. At least not what people on this thread seem to think is a substantial amount of money. I travel two to three times a year for work and get flight and hotel points when I do. Every time I travel I join the hotel frequent traveler account and sign up for any deals they have. I regularly get at least one free night for every business trip. Then I have an airline credit card. I put all our expenses on that card. Everything. We spend about $3k a month on average on that card and earn about 60,000 points a year which is enough for one flight to Europe or two to US destination. It doesn't pay for our entire trip but it subsidizes them significantly. Plus switching cards occasionally gives you big sign up bonuses.

This is one of those "eye of the beholder" type of things because I would have to make a big effort to spend 3k in one month. I only spend that much if I need to do a major car repair AND some other random expense comes up, or it's around Christmas or something and I'm buying something major for someone that year. Our credit card bill stays around 1600 a month and we don't really feel like we're scrimping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We hid our wealth initially, but outed ourselves when we bought our home. Anyone with an internet connection can see what we paid for it and that we paid cash (NYC). We don't otherwise look the part, but that purchase alone gives it away.

How can you see on the Internet that one had a mortgage?

Lexis Nexis

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Airline points aren't the only "points" people travel on. We use points from our credit card to book hotels and flights (thanks chase sapphire reserve). The assumption that people are lying to you because they feel so sorry that you have less is a little silly.

The reason I think people on this thread are resentful (which btw is kind of pathetic) is that you need a great credit score and you need to spend a pretty substantial amount of money to have enough credit card points to book trips. So people acting like they don't have a ton of money even though they are using points is offensive, I guess.

This is not true. At least not what people on this thread seem to think is a substantial amount of money. I travel two to three times a year for work and get flight and hotel points when I do. Every time I travel I join the hotel frequent traveler account and sign up for any deals they have. I regularly get at least one free night for every business trip. Then I have an airline credit card. I put all our expenses on that card. Everything. We spend about $3k a month on average on that card and earn about 60,000 points a year which is enough for one flight to Europe or two to US destination. It doesn't pay for our entire trip but it subsidizes them significantly. Plus switching cards occasionally gives you big sign up bonuses.

This is one of those "eye of the beholder" type of things because I would have to make a big effort to spend 3k in one month. I only spend that much if I need to do a major car repair AND some other random expense comes up, or it's around Christmas or something and I'm buying something major for someone that year. Our credit card bill stays around 1600 a month and we don't really feel like we're scrimping.

We spend $3K just on my husband's AmEx. He likes stuff, mostly guns and alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:We have no debt, zip, zilch, zero. I am a fed and my parents gifted me a large down payment, which I used to buy a house in PG outright. I still drive my car from college but we bought our newer car with cash. It is easy to accumulate money without a mortgage and a lot of my friends with fancier jobs see that I am frugal and think I am poorer than them. Recently my child was sick and my friend asked if I needed money. I told her insurance covered everything and I am fine, but it was nice of her to offer.

Why do you need your parents to give you money?

Wanted to add: you are debt free because your parents float you. So you can sit down and shut up.

Sheesh why the hostility? What other people do with their money is not really something for you to get upset about. Some people buy fancy cars and handbags but my parents used their savings to help me buy my home. Judging from the prices in this area the money I was gifted was a pretty typical amount and many, many families are supporting their children this way. I also arranged my life so that I had no debt after law school which is not an easy feat, and I had no help with that other than scholarships. I could easily afford a home in Bethesda or whatever with my income and I chose a more modest area, and I think it was a good choice. But now people actually think I am struggling. You should be happy I didn't contribute to the crazy inflated prices in this area.

The hostility comes from you implying that you are debt free because of hard work. Your parents gave you money. I don't care that they did this but annoyed st your presentation that you're well off because you aren't if people give you money. Great they did that but you can't claim anything other than lucky to have parents who fund your lifestyle.

What's the difference? Got lucky with your own genetics to be able to earn money (hard work is talent, hard work combined with abilities is not common and is double talent, hard work plus abilities plus four-hour sleeper = score/very rare) or got lucky with parents who gave you money.

Working for money is morally superior to having it handed to you.

Oh really? I have a moral flaw for being born to my parents? Do you feel that way about people who were born other ways too? (poor, different colored skin, different religion)?

Different point. All things being equal, it's admirable not to squander the advantages of one's birth by being lazy.

Who is lazy in this scenario? I'm confused as to what you are talking about. Is it lazy if the recipient of gifted money has a full time volunteering position, is that lazy? If they have several kids and decide that they want to stay home to take care of them (because they can afford it), is that lazy? Is accepting the money then immediately gifting it to others lazy?? No one in the entire thread has talked about enjoying "squandering" gifted money.

Or is one simply lazy because their parents have wealth to share?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's funny that people believe that hard work or ability to start a business or build a career is a learned skill. If that was the case, there will be so many more great athletes. You don't create a drive, don't develop a passion to succeed. Some just have the drive and personality, that's why we see so many horrible managers.

I absolutely think that it's a learned skill.

Everyone has a certain amount of drive to do something. Some of it is pretty fundamental instinctive, such as the drive to stay alive, eat food when hungry, and etc. Other things like the drive to succeed in business, is the application of the underlying drive to a social system of commerce. Everyone who is successful in business had points in their life that showed them what they took in as fundamental guiding principles - none of them were born with an innate desire to open a lemonade stand.

I really don't understand the drive to succeed in business/career. You are talking about how to succeed which has nothing to do with the desire to succeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's odd to have millions yet "pretend" you don't. Why not just give the money away so it's helping others rather than hoard it and continue to try to earn more? It's so backwards!!!

Because I am only 50 and not sure how much I will need? I have children to put through college. They may want to go into low paying professions. One of us could lose our job. And mostly - I worked very hard for my money. I could have SAH or taken a part time or easy mommy track job, but I stuck it out in the corporate world. Why would I put up with the stress and challenges of a high paying job, only to give my money away?

I don't "prentend" not to have money, I just don't disclose our net worth. It's no one's business. I like my nice but modest house in a good school district and my 8 year old Japanese car. I sleep well at night.

Try to follow along. I was replying to people who DO "pretend", as many people in this thread claim (while patting themselves on the back).

You try to follow along. I live in a paid off house on a street where other houses are worth twice ours. I drive an 8 year old Toyota. Isn't this what you meant by "pretending" not to have money, living below our means?

See your bolded above. If you didn't write the above, I'm not sure why you are replying as I had quoted and replied to that person. You (they?) Stated that you don't pretend. IN THAT CASE I WASNT TALKING TO YOU.

"Means" are relative. I guess technically I live below my means. Lets say I have $12 million dollars in the bank with 450K annual income. Is "only" living in a million dollar house and "only" having two 50k+ cars or doing public school "below my means"? Probably. We could afford more, but we don't want more, we feel blessed to live the life we do.. That doesn't change the fact that to some, my home or vacations or cars may seem "excessive". In other words, I am downplaying my actual wealth (that no one knows about because most of it is from a family trust) but still live a lifestyle that many who earn an average income would feel is NOT "downplaying" anything. Thats because they don't know the reality of our financial picture ~ just like most of us have no idea of our friends, neighbors or associates full financial picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Airline points aren't the only "points" people travel on. We use points from our credit card to book hotels and flights (thanks chase sapphire reserve). The assumption that people are lying to you because they feel so sorry that you have less is a little silly.

The reason I think people on this thread are resentful (which btw is kind of pathetic) is that you need a great credit score and you need to spend a pretty substantial amount of money to have enough credit card points to book trips. So people acting like they don't have a ton of money even though they are using points is offensive, I guess.

This is not true. At least not what people on this thread seem to think is a substantial amount of money. I travel two to three times a year for work and get flight and hotel points when I do. Every time I travel I join the hotel frequent traveler account and sign up for any deals they have. I regularly get at least one free night for every business trip. Then I have an airline credit card. I put all our expenses on that card. Everything. We spend about $3k a month on average on that card and earn about 60,000 points a year which is enough for one flight to Europe or two to US destination. It doesn't pay for our entire trip but it subsidizes them significantly. Plus switching cards occasionally gives you big sign up bonuses.

This is one of those "eye of the beholder" type of things because I would have to make a big effort to spend 3k in one month. I only spend that much if I need to do a major car repair AND some other random expense comes up, or it's around Christmas or something and I'm buying something major for someone that year. Our credit card bill stays around 1600 a month and we don't really feel like we're scrimping.

We literally spend every cent on our cards and our income is less than $100k. Other than our mortgage almost everything goes on the card, groceries, eating out, travel, kids activities, clothes, gas, health care (that's later reimbursed), everything. I also virtually never use cash so the $9 salad I just bought for lunch goes on there and it gets me double points. Definitely agree that it's relative, but I expect your income and therefore expenditure is higher than ours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Airline points aren't the only "points" people travel on. We use points from our credit card to book hotels and flights (thanks chase sapphire reserve). The assumption that people are lying to you because they feel so sorry that you have less is a little silly.

The reason I think people on this thread are resentful (which btw is kind of pathetic) is that you need a great credit score and you need to spend a pretty substantial amount of money to have enough credit card points to book trips. So people acting like they don't have a ton of money even though they are using points is offensive, I guess.

This is not true. At least not what people on this thread seem to think is a substantial amount of money. I travel two to three times a year for work and get flight and hotel points when I do. Every time I travel I join the hotel frequent traveler account and sign up for any deals they have. I regularly get at least one free night for every business trip. Then I have an airline credit card. I put all our expenses on that card. Everything. We spend about $3k a month on average on that card and earn about 60,000 points a year which is enough for one flight to Europe or two to US destination. It doesn't pay for our entire trip but it subsidizes them significantly. Plus switching cards occasionally gives you big sign up bonuses.

That entire screed was delusional.

- Signed a person who spends $30k a month on a business card and travels at least twice a month by place.

I mean unless you're flying Spirit Coach and staying in motel 6s.

I'm the PP you are responding to. What exactly do you think is delusional? The amount of points we earn? How we spend them? I don't understand because everything I said is accurate. Did you misread? I didn't say that points paid for entire vacations, just that they lower the cost significantly. I also shop deals on travel, but use points for lower levels of hotels (than we stay in when paying, e.g. three star instead of four) to get the max number of nights poss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought most people we know likely think we have a much higher income than we do.

We live in a house we bought for $200k that is now worth nearly $1m. We eat out a lot and we go on a lot of trips and vacations. A LOT. But we use points and deals all the time and I'm an excellent frugal travel shopper. We've had some amazing trips, including a two week trip to the SW for less than $2k incl air fare (family of four), regular trips to Europe and to Maine every summer. But our vacation budget so far this year has been less than $3k. If it comes up I'll share my travel tips, but sometimes I'm embarrassed how our travels may appear to others.

Our income is actually about $95k with a stay at home spouse.

What is SW?

So weird

I'll give you three guesses.

You really don't know what SW is an abbreviation for? South West. In this case Arizona, Nevada and Colorado. Grand canyon and other national parks.

I don't know anyone who abbreviates it this way when talking about vacation (and I wouldn't lump in Colorado into it, even though some travel guides might). Doesn't matter: 2k for 4 sounds about right if the goal is national parks and not spas.

I'd be pressed to cover airfare and rental car on that budget for two weeks, not to mention food and accommodation and I'm cheap.

Do you choose destination first?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Airline points aren't the only "points" people travel on. We use points from our credit card to book hotels and flights (thanks chase sapphire reserve). The assumption that people are lying to you because they feel so sorry that you have less is a little silly.

The reason I think people on this thread are resentful (which btw is kind of pathetic) is that you need a great credit score and you need to spend a pretty substantial amount of money to have enough credit card points to book trips. So people acting like they don't have a ton of money even though they are using points is offensive, I guess.

This is not true. At least not what people on this thread seem to think is a substantial amount of money. I travel two to three times a year for work and get flight and hotel points when I do. Every time I travel I join the hotel frequent traveler account and sign up for any deals they have. I regularly get at least one free night for every business trip. Then I have an airline credit card. I put all our expenses on that card. Everything. We spend about $3k a month on average on that card and earn about 60,000 points a year which is enough for one flight to Europe or two to US destination. It doesn't pay for our entire trip but it subsidizes them significantly. Plus switching cards occasionally gives you big sign up bonuses.

That entire screed was delusional.

- Signed a person who spends $30k a month on a business card and travels at least twice a month by place.

I mean unless you're flying Spirit Coach and staying in motel 6s.

I'm the PP you are responding to. What exactly do you think is delusional? The amount of points we earn? How we spend them? I don't understand because everything I said is accurate. Did you misread? I didn't say that points paid for entire vacations, just that they lower the cost significantly. I also shop deals on travel, but use points for lower levels of hotels (than we stay in when paying, e.g. three star instead of four) to get the max number of nights poss.

Sorry that should have been bolded then.