Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...

[Anonymous]

Why are people so weird about money?

I don't go out of my way to advertise what we have but I wouldn't bother going to the hassle of hiding it either. Who has the time or energy for that?? Who cares what your babysitter or nanny thinks? JHC. We make a pretty nice living (750k +) and we enjoy the lifestyle it provides. We spend at least 50k on travel every year. We bought an expensive house then did an expensive gut renovation. We have expensive cars. We bought a beach house. We let our kids do any extracurricular activity they want. We have 2 sets of subscription theater tickets and go out to dinner several nights a week. And even with all of this outgoing, we've been able to build a decent about of savings (3M plus).

I don't flaunt any of this but I don't hide it either. Life is too short to care what anyone else thinks. Besides, 9/10 they're not thinking about you anyway. No one cares as much about you as you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's odd to have millions yet "pretend" you don't. Why not just give the money away so it's helping others rather than hoard it and continue to try to earn more? It's so backwards!!!

Because I am only 50 and not sure how much I will need? I have children to put through college. They may want to go into low paying professions. One of us could lose our job. And mostly - I worked very hard for my money. I could have SAH or taken a part time or easy mommy track job, but I stuck it out in the corporate world. Why would I put up with the stress and challenges of a high paying job, only to give my money away?

I don't "prentend" not to have money, I just don't disclose our net worth. It's no one's business. I like my nice but modest house in a good school district and my 8 year old Japanese car. I sleep well at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are people so weird about money?

I don't go out of my way to advertise what we have but I wouldn't bother going to the hassle of hiding it either. Who has the time or energy for that?? Who cares what your babysitter or nanny thinks? JHC. We make a pretty nice living (750k +) and we enjoy the lifestyle it provides. We spend at least 50k on travel every year. We bought an expensive house then did an expensive gut renovation. We have expensive cars. We bought a beach house. We let our kids do any extracurricular activity they want. We have 2 sets of subscription theater tickets and go out to dinner several nights a week. And even with all of this outgoing, we've been able to build a decent about of savings (3M plus).

I don't flaunt any of this but I don't hide it either. Life is too short to care what anyone else thinks. Besides, 9/10 they're not thinking about you anyway. No one cares as much about you as you think.

word

QFT

No one cares what you have or don't have. If they say something like "must be nice" to have XYZ it's because they're thinking it must be nice to have a nice house or whatever! Just say thank you and move on. Jeez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are in top 1% in terms of income/wealthy, but drive a modest car, wear modest clothes, and generally live a "mostest" lifestyle, then there are 2 possibilties

1) you are spending the money extravagantly in another way. There are many many ways to be extravagant.

2) you are hoarding money like a dog in the manger

3) you are giving so much money to charity that you are actually living on $60k a year.

You should not feel you are a "normal" person if you are doing the first two. You just are not. If you are the 3rd, you are also not a normal person, you are an unusually good person.

Combination of 2) and 3). I'm glad I'm not normal because I save 35% of my income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have no debt, zip, zilch, zero. I am a fed and my parents gifted me a large down payment, which I used to buy a house in PG outright. I still drive my car from college but we bought our newer car with cash. It is easy to accumulate money without a mortgage and a lot of my friends with fancier jobs see that I am frugal and think I am poorer than them. Recently my child was sick and my friend asked if I needed money. I told her insurance covered everything and I am fine, but it was nice of her to offer.

Why do you need your parents to give you money?

Wanted to add: you are debt free because your parents float you. So you can sit down and shut up.

Sheesh why the hostility? What other people do with their money is not really something for you to get upset about. Some people buy fancy cars and handbags but my parents used their savings to help me buy my home. Judging from the prices in this area the money I was gifted was a pretty typical amount and many, many families are supporting their children this way. I also arranged my life so that I had no debt after law school which is not an easy feat, and I had no help with that other than scholarships. I could easily afford a home in Bethesda or whatever with my income and I chose a more modest area, and I think it was a good choice. But now people actually think I am struggling. You should be happy I didn't contribute to the crazy inflated prices in this area.

The hostility comes from you implying that you are debt free because of hard work. Your parents gave you money. I don't care that they did this but annoyed st your presentation that you're well off because you aren't if people give you money. Great they did that but you can't claim anything other than lucky to have parents who fund your lifestyle.

What's the difference? Got lucky with your own genetics to be able to earn money (hard work is talent, hard work combined with abilities is not common and is double talent, hard work plus abilities plus four-hour sleeper = score/very rare) or got lucky with parents who gave you money.

Working for money is morally superior to having it handed to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have no debt, zip, zilch, zero. I am a fed and my parents gifted me a large down payment, which I used to buy a house in PG outright. I still drive my car from college but we bought our newer car with cash. It is easy to accumulate money without a mortgage and a lot of my friends with fancier jobs see that I am frugal and think I am poorer than them. Recently my child was sick and my friend asked if I needed money. I told her insurance covered everything and I am fine, but it was nice of her to offer.

Why do you need your parents to give you money?

Wanted to add: you are debt free because your parents float you. So you can sit down and shut up.

Sheesh why the hostility? What other people do with their money is not really something for you to get upset about. Some people buy fancy cars and handbags but my parents used their savings to help me buy my home. Judging from the prices in this area the money I was gifted was a pretty typical amount and many, many families are supporting their children this way. I also arranged my life so that I had no debt after law school which is not an easy feat, and I had no help with that other than scholarships. I could easily afford a home in Bethesda or whatever with my income and I chose a more modest area, and I think it was a good choice. But now people actually think I am struggling. You should be happy I didn't contribute to the crazy inflated prices in this area.

The hostility comes from you implying that you are debt free because of hard work. Your parents gave you money. I don't care that they did this but annoyed st your presentation that you're well off because you aren't if people give you money. Great they did that but you can't claim anything other than lucky to have parents who fund your lifestyle.

What's the difference? Got lucky with your own genetics to be able to earn money (hard work is talent, hard work combined with abilities is not common and is double talent, hard work plus abilities plus four-hour sleeper = score/very rare) or got lucky with parents who gave you money.

Working for money is morally superior to having it handed to you.

Oh really? I have a moral flaw for being born to my parents? Do you feel that way about people who were born other ways too? (poor, different colored skin, different religion)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's odd to have millions yet "pretend" you don't. Why not just give the money away so it's helping others rather than hoard it and continue to try to earn more? It's so backwards!!!

Because I am only 50 and not sure how much I will need? I have children to put through college. They may want to go into low paying professions. One of us could lose our job. And mostly - I worked very hard for my money. I could have SAH or taken a part time or easy mommy track job, but I stuck it out in the corporate world. Why would I put up with the stress and challenges of a high paying job, only to give my money away?

I don't "prentend" not to have money, I just don't disclose our net worth. It's no one's business. I like my nice but modest house in a good school district and my 8 year old Japanese car. I sleep well at night.

Try to follow along. I was replying to people who DO "pretend", as many people in this thread claim (while patting themselves on the back).

[Anonymous]

We live comfortably as do most of our friends but I'm pretty sure we have amassed a lot more wealth than most of them given my DH's career. But we really like the life we live and the friends we live it with. We never talk about our wealth so we never downplay it. My DH's job was quite public so it was easy for people to get a feel for what he was earning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have no debt, zip, zilch, zero. I am a fed and my parents gifted me a large down payment, which I used to buy a house in PG outright. I still drive my car from college but we bought our newer car with cash. It is easy to accumulate money without a mortgage and a lot of my friends with fancier jobs see that I am frugal and think I am poorer than them. Recently my child was sick and my friend asked if I needed money. I told her insurance covered everything and I am fine, but it was nice of her to offer.

Why do you need your parents to give you money?

Wanted to add: you are debt free because your parents float you. So you can sit down and shut up.

Sheesh why the hostility? What other people do with their money is not really something for you to get upset about. Some people buy fancy cars and handbags but my parents used their savings to help me buy my home. Judging from the prices in this area the money I was gifted was a pretty typical amount and many, many families are supporting their children this way. I also arranged my life so that I had no debt after law school which is not an easy feat, and I had no help with that other than scholarships. I could easily afford a home in Bethesda or whatever with my income and I chose a more modest area, and I think it was a good choice. But now people actually think I am struggling. You should be happy I didn't contribute to the crazy inflated prices in this area.

The hostility comes from you implying that you are debt free because of hard work. Your parents gave you money. I don't care that they did this but annoyed st your presentation that you're well off because you aren't if people give you money. Great they did that but you can't claim anything other than lucky to have parents who fund your lifestyle.

What's the difference? Got lucky with your own genetics to be able to earn money (hard work is talent, hard work combined with abilities is not common and is double talent, hard work plus abilities plus four-hour sleeper = score/very rare) or got lucky with parents who gave you money.

Working for money is morally superior to having it handed to you.

Oh really? I have a moral flaw for being born to my parents? Do you feel that way about people who were born other ways too? (poor, different colored skin, different religion)?

Different point. All things being equal, it's admirable not to squander the advantages of one's birth by being lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's odd to have millions yet "pretend" you don't. Why not just give the money away so it's helping others rather than hoard it and continue to try to earn more? It's so backwards!!!

Because I am only 50 and not sure how much I will need? I have children to put through college. They may want to go into low paying professions. One of us could lose our job. And mostly - I worked very hard for my money. I could have SAH or taken a part time or easy mommy track job, but I stuck it out in the corporate world. Why would I put up with the stress and challenges of a high paying job, only to give my money away?

I don't "prentend" not to have money, I just don't disclose our net worth. It's no one's business. I like my nice but modest house in a good school district and my 8 year old Japanese car. I sleep well at night.

Try to follow along. I was replying to people who DO "pretend", as many people in this thread claim (while patting themselves on the back).

You try to follow along. I live in a paid off house on a street where other houses are worth twice ours. I drive an 8 year old Toyota. Isn't this what you meant by "pretending" not to have money, living below our means?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have no debt, zip, zilch, zero. I am a fed and my parents gifted me a large down payment, which I used to buy a house in PG outright. I still drive my car from college but we bought our newer car with cash. It is easy to accumulate money without a mortgage and a lot of my friends with fancier jobs see that I am frugal and think I am poorer than them. Recently my child was sick and my friend asked if I needed money. I told her insurance covered everything and I am fine, but it was nice of her to offer.

Why do you need your parents to give you money?

Wanted to add: you are debt free because your parents float you. So you can sit down and shut up.

Sheesh why the hostility? What other people do with their money is not really something for you to get upset about. Some people buy fancy cars and handbags but my parents used their savings to help me buy my home. Judging from the prices in this area the money I was gifted was a pretty typical amount and many, many families are supporting their children this way. I also arranged my life so that I had no debt after law school which is not an easy feat, and I had no help with that other than scholarships. I could easily afford a home in Bethesda or whatever with my income and I chose a more modest area, and I think it was a good choice. But now people actually think I am struggling. You should be happy I didn't contribute to the crazy inflated prices in this area.

The hostility comes from you implying that you are debt free because of hard work. Your parents gave you money. I don't care that they did this but annoyed st your presentation that you're well off because you aren't if people give you money. Great they did that but you can't claim anything other than lucky to have parents who fund your lifestyle.

What's the difference? Got lucky with your own genetics to be able to earn money (hard work is talent, hard work combined with abilities is not common and is double talent, hard work plus abilities plus four-hour sleeper = score/very rare) or got lucky with parents who gave you money.

Working for money is morally superior to having it handed to you.

Oh really? I have a moral flaw for being born to my parents? Do you feel that way about people who were born other ways too? (poor, different colored skin, different religion)?

Different point. All things being equal, it's admirable not to squander the advantages of one's birth by being lazy.

It's funny that people believe that hard work or ability to start a business or build a career is a learned skill. If that was the case, there will be so many more great athletes. You don't create a drive, don't develop a passion to succeed. Some just have the drive and personality, that's why we see so many horrible managers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's funny that people believe that hard work or ability to start a business or build a career is a learned skill. If that was the case, there will be so many more great athletes. You don't create a drive, don't develop a passion to succeed. Some just have the drive and personality, that's why we see so many horrible managers.

I absolutely think that it's a learned skill.

Everyone has a certain amount of drive to do something. Some of it is pretty fundamental instinctive, such as the drive to stay alive, eat food when hungry, and etc. Other things like the drive to succeed in business, is the application of the underlying drive to a social system of commerce. Everyone who is successful in business had points in their life that showed them what they took in as fundamental guiding principles - none of them were born with an innate desire to open a lemonade stand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought most people we know likely think we have a much higher income than we do.

We live in a house we bought for $200k that is now worth nearly $1m. We eat out a lot and we go on a lot of trips and vacations. A LOT. But we use points and deals all the time and I'm an excellent frugal travel shopper. We've had some amazing trips, including a two week trip to the SW for less than $2k incl air fare (family of four), regular trips to Europe and to Maine every summer. But our vacation budget so far this year has been less than $3k. If it comes up I'll share my travel tips, but sometimes I'm embarrassed how our travels may appear to others.

Our income is actually about $95k with a stay at home spouse.

What is SW?

So weird

I'll give you three guesses.

You really don't know what SW is an abbreviation for? South West. In this case Arizona, Nevada and Colorado. Grand canyon and other national parks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In NY it clearly lists cash sales. Propertyshark also pulls up your mortgage amount a calculates current loan to value. NY also has a tax exemption for folks who make under 500k a year. So I can in a second check if you make above 500k a year and how leveraged you are on home.

I can also search how many homes you own quickly in NY. My cousin owns 300 houses in NYC. Would never know it.

Can you post the link to search this? Thank you!

You can do it in DC too. Look at recorder of deeds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought most people we know likely think we have a much higher income than we do.

We live in a house we bought for $200k that is now worth nearly $1m. We eat out a lot and we go on a lot of trips and vacations. A LOT. But we use points and deals all the time and I'm an excellent frugal travel shopper. We've had some amazing trips, including a two week trip to the SW for less than $2k incl air fare (family of four), regular trips to Europe and to Maine every summer. But our vacation budget so far this year has been less than $3k. If it comes up I'll share my travel tips, but sometimes I'm embarrassed how our travels may appear to others.

Our income is actually about $95k with a stay at home spouse.

What is SW?

So weird

I'll give you three guesses.

You really don't know what SW is an abbreviation for? South West. In this case Arizona, Nevada and Colorado. Grand canyon and other national parks.

I don't know anyone who abbreviates it this way when talking about vacation (and I wouldn't lump in Colorado into it, even though some travel guides might). Doesn't matter: 2k for 4 sounds about right if the goal is national parks and not spas.