Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The older generation knows how to be rich and act poor: my parents (in their 70s) are worth at least 15M+ and literally wear sneakers from Costco until they have holes in them. They drive cars until they are well over 15-18 years old. They cut coupons. They eat at Applebee's, if they eat out at all. They clean their own house, mow their own lawn, and basically refuse to pay for a single service or convenience.

They are also well-educated and when they were in their 40s and making 7 figures they were more flashy, but they grew up working class and in their old age they've found that's what makes them happy. They are also really paranoid about spending money and so they hoard.

THAT is hiding your wealth.

NO No... THAT is being cheap..

Agree. I am cheap. I was always cheap and I will continue being cheap.

Do you truly know rich friends driving cars made in 1999? That's astonishing to me.

That one is easy. Not friends but I met people like that. Still driving cars they bought brand new 20-30 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact is, it takes a lot of effort to spend money.

My husband and I have a lot. But we lead a modest lifestyle because that's what we're used to, and because the things that matter the most to us - seeing family and friends, exercising, reading - are more rewarding than figuring out ways to spend money. When we need new things, we buy them (on eBay, if possible) - but otherwise, we don't bother. Too much trouble.

Again, it just depends on your definition of a lot. If travel was ever "too much trouble" for me, or certain hobbies that I have got ruled out because they are expensive I'd rather just be poor.

Says a person who has never been poor.

No, I'm just someone who likes to live authentically. I really enjoy the things they money helps me to do, and to deny myself of things that I desire and can afford because I'm worried about being judged by others would be frustrating and ....dumb. I think it's great if it makes others happy, but to pretend like that's aspirational - in this big old world with SO MUCH to see and do is odd to me. I'm not wasting my time worrying about hiding anything about myself to please others.

Huh? Aspirational? Authentic? What are you talking about? Okay, you need new things to be entertained. What is hiding wealth has to do with it? Do you take your helicopter to your private jet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I am from a little town in the Midwest. Being flashy isn't cool.

+1 grew up in the Midwest, left at 24 to get my masters and then moved to a major city. I make 2-3x more than my friends. They have no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The older generation knows how to be rich and act poor: my parents (in their 70s) are worth at least 15M+ and literally wear sneakers from Costco until they have holes in them. They drive cars until they are well over 15-18 years old. They cut coupons. They eat at Applebee's, if they eat out at all. They clean their own house, mow their own lawn, and basically refuse to pay for a single service or convenience.

They are also well-educated and when they were in their 40s and making 7 figures they were more flashy, but they grew up working class and in their old age they've found that's what makes them happy. They are also really paranoid about spending money and so they hoard.

THAT is hiding your wealth.

+1 my grandfather just died leaving about 15M to his 3 children. My mom (widow) frets about making basic home repairs, like replacing a dead garbage disposal, because her dad would have just left it and loved without. We all thought grandpa was relatively poor growing up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact is, it takes a lot of effort to spend money.

My husband and I have a lot. But we lead a modest lifestyle because that's what we're used to, and because the things that matter the most to us - seeing family and friends, exercising, reading - are more rewarding than figuring out ways to spend money. When we need new things, we buy them (on eBay, if possible) - but otherwise, we don't bother. Too much trouble.

We spend money on experiences. Travel, evenings out, nice dinners with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The older generation knows how to be rich and act poor: my parents (in their 70s) are worth at least 15M+ and literally wear sneakers from Costco until they have holes in them. They drive cars until they are well over 15-18 years old. They cut coupons. They eat at Applebee's, if they eat out at all. They clean their own house, mow their own lawn, and basically refuse to pay for a single service or convenience.

They are also well-educated and when they were in their 40s and making 7 figures they were more flashy, but they grew up working class and in their old age they've found that's what makes them happy. They are also really paranoid about spending money and so they hoard.

THAT is hiding your wealth.

+1 my grandfather just died leaving about 15M to his 3 children. My mom (widow) frets about making basic home repairs, like replacing a dead garbage disposal, because her dad would have just left it and loved without. We all thought grandpa was relatively poor growing up.

I think Ok to be frugal for everyone and flaunting one's good fortune is never good....but when ones gets this extreme (like not replacing the garbage disposal) with being too tight to spend on necessities, then it is a case of mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The older generation knows how to be rich and act poor: my parents (in their 70s) are worth at least 15M+ and literally wear sneakers from Costco until they have holes in them. They drive cars until they are well over 15-18 years old. They cut coupons. They eat at Applebee's, if they eat out at all. They clean their own house, mow their own lawn, and basically refuse to pay for a single service or convenience.

They are also well-educated and when they were in their 40s and making 7 figures they were more flashy, but they grew up working class and in their old age they've found that's what makes them happy. They are also really paranoid about spending money and so they hoard.

THAT is hiding your wealth.

NO No... THAT is being cheap..

+ 1

You get one life people! And you're not guaranteed good health for all of it! Enjoy it while you can! Buy the fast car, take the exotic trips, renovate your house to have the high end finishes, eat at the expensive restaurants, see all the Broadway shows and music concerts if that is your thing. Do it while you can!

YOLO and you can't take it with you are my mottos in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not as rich as the article but we do live well below our means, and because of our housing choice (modest home in middle class neighborhood with good schools) and the friends we enjoy, I definitely tell white lies or lies of omission often. I.e.: most of my friends lease or have a car loan. We pay cash, but I'd never admit it. I could drive a loaded Suburban but drive a mid level Odyssey because I just prefer that image. My clothes and handbags are Loft/Target/TJ Maxx. I buy the kids LL Bean outwear instead of North Face or Patagonia just because it feels less conspicuous to me - it's not really much cheaper. That Tory Burch logo makes me cringe. I claim our travel is on "points" so it seems less expensive. Stuff like that. We don't give our kids crazy expensive presents or buy them Uggs, but when the time comes they can attend the college of their choice debt free.

You sound like my twin.

We are triplets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact is, it takes a lot of effort to spend money.

My husband and I have a lot. But we lead a modest lifestyle because that's what we're used to, and because the things that matter the most to us - seeing family and friends, exercising, reading - are more rewarding than figuring out ways to spend money. When we need new things, we buy them (on eBay, if possible) - but otherwise, we don't bother. Too much trouble.

Honey, you sound depressed. It's easy to spend money if you like to travel, eat in nice restaurants, go out to bars, see shows or concerts, etc. etc. It's not all about buying STUFF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact is, it takes a lot of effort to spend money.

My husband and I have a lot. But we lead a modest lifestyle because that's what we're used to, and because the things that matter the most to us - seeing family and friends, exercising, reading - are more rewarding than figuring out ways to spend money. When we need new things, we buy them (on eBay, if possible) - but otherwise, we don't bother. Too much trouble.

Honey, you sound depressed. It's easy to spend money if you like to travel, eat in nice restaurants, go out to bars, see shows or concerts, etc. etc. It's not all about buying STUFF.

What if you don't? One can be happy with their lifestyle without any of suggested experiences. We went out yesterday. I felt it was a waste of money, while it was a regular pleasant experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not as rich as the article but we do live well below our means, and because of our housing choice (modest home in middle class neighborhood with good schools) and the friends we enjoy, I definitely tell white lies or lies of omission often. I.e.: most of my friends lease or have a car loan. We pay cash, but I'd never admit it. I could drive a loaded Suburban but drive a mid level Odyssey because I just prefer that image. My clothes and handbags are Loft/Target/TJ Maxx. I buy the kids LL Bean outwear instead of North Face or Patagonia just because it feels less conspicuous to me - it's not really much cheaper. That Tory Burch logo makes me cringe. I claim our travel is on "points" so it seems less expensive. Stuff like that. We don't give our kids crazy expensive presents or buy them Uggs, but when the time comes they can attend the college of their choice debt free.

+1
We must be living parallel lives. I can't stand outward displays of wealth, so no one would really know that we are wealthy.

Meh. You guys are usually the ones with Neverfull LV bags (the big ones, not the smaller ones) - so it seems more than slightly contradictory to what you are posting on an anon. forum. Just so you know.

I'm one of the PPs who said this sounds like me. I wouldn't be caught dead with one of those bags.

Ditto. The "meh" poster doesn't get it at all.

[phone]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Please, you are delusional. The US is headed to developing country status and if you look at all other developing countries, you'll see what's happening here. There's a small and privileged upper class, a huge lower class, and a middle class that's doing barely better. The wealthy are good at adapting to this situation, and keep the lower classes in line by throwing out scapegoats and manufactured issues to fight over like dogs. So no, the French Revolution will not be happening again.

Not really. The % of young people earning college degrees is considerably higher than it was 20 years ago. What type of jobs will they be working? Middle class jobs.

The issue is with low-skilled workers. Factories are become more automated, and the people that do work in them need advanced skills. With that, they can do OK as a middle class worker, but without those extra skills, they'll definitely be lower class.

We need to increase apprenticeship and vocational training.

The facts on the ground disagree. Half of young college graduates are either unemployed or underemployed, and it's been that way for several years now. A full 50% of graduates either can't find work or can't find work that required the last four years of their lives.

+1

[Anonymous]

I never talk about and I certainly don't spend what I could. We live very comfortably and I would guess if someone was asked what our net worth was they would likely guess 25-50% of what we really have. I didn't grow up with much money and we live far more comfortably then I imagined when I started my career - now retired. We probably gift to our kids/grandkids/charity more than we spend on ourselves each year---excluding taxes! Our only big luxury is we now only sit in the front of the plane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact is, it takes a lot of effort to spend money.

My husband and I have a lot. But we lead a modest lifestyle because that's what we're used to, and because the things that matter the most to us - seeing family and friends, exercising, reading - are more rewarding than figuring out ways to spend money. When we need new things, we buy them (on eBay, if possible) - but otherwise, we don't bother. Too much trouble.

Honey, you sound depressed. It's easy to spend money if you like to travel, eat in nice restaurants, go out to bars, see shows or concerts, etc. etc. It's not all about buying STUFF.

What if you don't? One can be happy with their lifestyle without any of suggested experiences. We went out yesterday. I felt it was a waste of money, while it was a regular pleasant experience.

You don't sound happy if you can't enjoy a pleasant outing without feeling like it was a waste of money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact is, it takes a lot of effort to spend money.

My husband and I have a lot. But we lead a modest lifestyle because that's what we're used to, and because the things that matter the most to us - seeing family and friends, exercising, reading - are more rewarding than figuring out ways to spend money. When we need new things, we buy them (on eBay, if possible) - but otherwise, we don't bother. Too much trouble.

Honey, you sound depressed. It's easy to spend money if you like to travel, eat in nice restaurants, go out to bars, see shows or concerts, etc. etc. It's not all about buying STUFF.

What if you don't? One can be happy with their lifestyle without any of suggested experiences. We went out yesterday. I felt it was a waste of money, while it was a regular pleasant experience.

You don't sound happy if you can't enjoy a pleasant outing without feeling like it was a waste of money.

You have no idea what they did! Maybe that's why it felt wasteful. If we go out multiple times per week for takeout, that feels wasteful. Even though I can enjoy the food. We have plenty of money but I am thrifty and don't like wasting it.