Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...

[Anonymous]

Interesting article about people who are wealthy, but want and strive to appear as if they are not, and instead "blend in", so as to not be seen as one of THEM. The situation described is NYC, but it happens in D.C. as well, in a different way. Example: In NYC, the article describes a woman peeling the $6. price label off her bread, so the help won't see it, and recognize the disparity in lifestyle. In D.C., there are slumlords that own multiple properties, but still cry "poor mouth". It is interesting that anyone with so much money would be preoccupied with "blending", when they never will.

[Side question: In the age of Google, how would that ever be possible to have money, but look like you do not? It is not, for the most part.]

http://www.msn.com/en-us/money/markets/what-the-rich-wont-tell-you/ar-AAruzjO?li=BBnb7Kz

[Anonymous]

To some extent we do that with our families who have very modest incomes. We absolutely downplay around them so they won't ask to borrow money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To some extent we do that with our families who have very modest incomes. We absolutely downplay around them so they won't ask to borrow money.

That makes sense. What about neighbors and friends?

[Anonymous]

I don't think your NYC DC comparisons are apt. The NYC example is hiding because of discomfort/embarrassment at her good fortune. A slumlord is not uncomfortable about his wealth, he is trying to get away with something.

[Anonymous]

I feel like I do that. I guess I just don't think it's anyone's business and I don't feel the need to flaunt. I feel like there are a lot of people out there where every dollar counts and they don't need to see me having luxury items, because it might make them feel really a lot worse. I don't feel guilt about my wealth but I do wonder why, say- I was born to UMC parents in America whereas others were born to abusive crack addicts and had to fight every step of the way. Why should I lord anything over anyone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting article about people who are wealthy, but want and strive to appear as if they are not, and instead "blend in", so as to not be seen as one of THEM. The situation described is NYC, but it happens in D.C. as well, in a different way. Example: In NYC, the article describes a woman peeling the $6. price label off her bread, so the help won't see it, and recognize the disparity in lifestyle. In D.C., there are slumlords that own multiple properties, but still cry "poor mouth". It is interesting that anyone with so much money would be preoccupied with "blending", when they never will.

[Side question: In the age of Google, how would that ever be possible to have money, but look like you do not? It is not, for the most part.]

http://www.msn.com/en-us/money/markets/what-the-rich-wont-tell-you/ar-AAruzjO?li=BBnb7Kz

This is not a new thing - read "The Millionaire Next Door." Many millionaires live spartan lifestyles - that's how they've accumulated so much.

I'm wealthy but have earned it all myself. I drive an older car and live modestly. No one really knows.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I am from a little town in the Midwest. Being flashy isn't cool.

[Anonymous]

I do. I don't want money or material things to define me. I want people to know me for me and not because I have money. I don't dress in designer clothing and went to meet my mother at Saks Fifth Avenue one day. The difference in how I was treated when they didn't think I had money, to how I was treated when they found out who my mother was is astounding. I don't want to be treated differently.

[Anonymous]

I'm not flashy but people aren't dumb and can clearly add things up in their head. The fact that I'm a SAHM, the fact have 4 kids, well-dressed, location of house etc etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not flashy but people aren't dumb and can clearly add things up in their head. The fact that I'm a SAHM, the fact have 4 kids, well-dressed, location of house etc etc.

Lots of people like you - perhaps most - are loaded down with debt. They are one job loss away from serious trouble.

A high net worth is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not flashy but people aren't dumb and can clearly add things up in their head. The fact that I'm a SAHM, the fact have 4 kids, well-dressed, location of house etc etc.

Lots of people like you - perhaps most - are loaded down with debt. They are one job loss away from serious trouble.

A high net worth is different.

+1. My first thought would be "you are loaded down with debt."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not flashy but people aren't dumb and can clearly add things up in their head. The fact that I'm a SAHM, the fact have 4 kids, well-dressed, location of house etc etc.

Lots of people like you - perhaps most - are loaded down with debt. They are one job loss away from serious trouble.

A high net worth is different.

Totally. I don't every assume SAHMs are wealthy unless there is a ton of OTT factors at play

[Anonymous]

Definitely. Displaying wealth is tacky. I drive a reliable car but not luxury, wear good clothes but no outward labels or logos, I wear silver and keep gold in the safe, my kids are dressed well but not in the latest or most expensive styles. We eat at home most nights and never take small children to fine restaurants and we don't Facebook our vacations.

[Anonymous]

No, but I definitely don't brag about it. The nanny comes with us on vacation so knows where we travel, what/where we eat, etc. And we're not going to hide in our own house. I bought DH a baby grand piano one year. Tearing the tags off the couch doesn't make a difference. Plus, you can't always control what children say - I can't exactly tell them to never mention our NY condo to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting article about people who are wealthy, but want and strive to appear as if they are not, and instead "blend in", so as to not be seen as one of THEM. The situation described is NYC, but it happens in D.C. as well, in a different way. Example: In NYC, the article describes a woman peeling the $6. price label off her bread, so the help won't see it, and recognize the disparity in lifestyle. In D.C., there are slumlords that own multiple properties, but still cry "poor mouth". It is interesting that anyone with so much money would be preoccupied with "blending", when they never will.

[Side question: In the age of Google, how would that ever be possible to have money, but look like you do not? It is not, for the most part.]

http://www.msn.com/en-us/money/markets/what-the-rich-wont-tell-you/ar-AAruzjO?li=BBnb7Kz

I've had the same cleaning lady for 20 years and pay more than the going rate partly because I know she's not nosy. She could easily find our net worth by going through papers on my desk. I disdain those who are driving the latest fashion cars (range rovers in my neighborhood), flash big diamonds and otherwise show off. So gauche.