Do you downplay your wealth? A social discussion NOT a money discussion...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We hid our wealth initially, but outed ourselves when we bought our home. Anyone with an internet connection can see what we paid for it and that we paid cash (NYC). We don't otherwise look the part, but that purchase alone gives it away.

How can you see on the Internet that one had a mortgage?

Lexis Nexis

Or in NYC, ACRIS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are in top 1% in terms of income/wealthy, but drive a modest car, wear modest clothes, and generally live a "mostest" lifestyle, then there are 2 possibilties

1) you are spending the money extravagantly in another way. There are many many ways to be extravagant.

2) you are hoarding money like a dog in the manger

3) you are giving so much money to charity that you are actually living on $60k a year.

You should not feel you are a "normal" person if you are doing the first two. You just are not. If you are the 3rd, you are also not a normal person, you are an unusually good person.

Look beyond your myopic world view:

4) You recently became wealthy and are formulating a plan

5) You have a trust fund that gives you a set amount annually so you are wealthy but only have a limited amount given to you each year

6) you pay a boatload of taxes each year (and to cpas, attorneys, etc.) and while you have a lot of money you have a lot of money going out as well. You were gifted a chunk of it and intend to gift onward.

7) you watched your parents need long term care. You have the same gene. You're preparing for the likely same fate they had and don't want to be a burden

8) You are doing #2 with the intent to pass it on to your children one day. You aren't a dog in a manger (but if that is how you want to describe it, so be it.) but yes, you're saving instead of spending lavishly.

There are a lot more options...you see the world VERY black and white - oh, and you sound bitter, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Airline points aren't the only "points" people travel on. We use points from our credit card to book hotels and flights (thanks chase sapphire reserve). The assumption that people are lying to you because they feel so sorry that you have less is a little silly.

The reason I think people on this thread are resentful (which btw is kind of pathetic) is that you need a great credit score and you need to spend a pretty substantial amount of money to have enough credit card points to book trips. So people acting like they don't have a ton of money even though they are using points is offensive, I guess.

This is not true. At least not what people on this thread seem to think is a substantial amount of money. I travel two to three times a year for work and get flight and hotel points when I do. Every time I travel I join the hotel frequent traveler account and sign up for any deals they have. I regularly get at least one free night for every business trip. Then I have an airline credit card. I put all our expenses on that card. Everything. We spend about $3k a month on average on that card and earn about 60,000 points a year which is enough for one flight to Europe or two to US destination. It doesn't pay for our entire trip but it subsidizes them significantly. Plus switching cards occasionally gives you big sign up bonuses.

That entire screed was delusional.

- Signed a person who spends $30k a month on a business card and travels at least twice a month by place.

I mean unless you're flying Spirit Coach and staying in motel 6s.

I'm the PP you are responding to. What exactly do you think is delusional? The amount of points we earn? How we spend them? I don't understand because everything I said is accurate. Did you misread? I didn't say that points paid for entire vacations, just that they lower the cost significantly. I also shop deals on travel, but use points for lower levels of hotels (than we stay in when paying, e.g. three star instead of four) to get the max number of nights poss.

Sorry that should have been bolded then.

Huh? What should have been bolded? Are you saying you didn't read what you responded to because it wasn't bolded?! If so, that's on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Working for money is morally superior to having it handed to you.

I thought the most interesting part of the article was the conclusion: "we should talk not about the moral worth of individuals, but about the moral worth of particular social arrangements." I also thought it was very interesting how people in the article obfuscated their financial privilege so that they could relieve themselves of any moral responsibility to change inequity. I grew up fairly rich in NOVA and this was so true . . . myself and all my private school friends thought of ourselves as "upper middle class" -- even while living in million dollar houses and vacationing in the Bahamas. The really rich people were the Saudi Arabian princess, the parents who had private jets, etc. Not us, with our housekeepers and backyard pools and exclusive dance classes. But when you get out of that bubble, you see how rich the top 10% are, and how we, too, have the ability and responsibility to challenge the social order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Working for money is morally superior to having it handed to you.

I thought the most interesting part of the article was the conclusion: "we should talk not about the moral worth of individuals, but about the moral worth of particular social arrangements." I also thought it was very interesting how people in the article obfuscated their financial privilege so that they could relieve themselves of any moral responsibility to change inequity. I grew up fairly rich in NOVA and this was so true . . . myself and all my private school friends thought of ourselves as "upper middle class" -- even while living in million dollar houses and vacationing in the Bahamas. The really rich people were the Saudi Arabian princess, the parents who had private jets, etc. Not us, with our housekeepers and backyard pools and exclusive dance classes. But when you get out of that bubble, you see how rich the top 10% are, and how we, too, have the ability and responsibility to challenge the social order.

Ability - maybe, responsibility - no. We are not in a prison type situation, when one has to be helped. Tons of options I work because I need money. I hate it but I would hate getting money different way more (welfare, panhandling, etc) Nothing morally superior. I would take a lottery win in a heartbeat and retreat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The older generation knows how to be rich and act poor: my parents (in their 70s) are worth at least 15M+ and literally wear sneakers from Costco until they have holes in them. They drive cars until they are well over 15-18 years old. They cut coupons. They eat at Applebee's, if they eat out at all. They clean their own house, mow their own lawn, and basically refuse to pay for a single service or convenience.

They are also well-educated and when they were in their 40s and making 7 figures they were more flashy, but they grew up working class and in their old age they've found that's what makes them happy. They are also really paranoid about spending money and so they hoard.

THAT is hiding your wealth.

NO No... THAT is being cheap..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The older generation knows how to be rich and act poor: my parents (in their 70s) are worth at least 15M+ and literally wear sneakers from Costco until they have holes in them. They drive cars until they are well over 15-18 years old. They cut coupons. They eat at Applebee's, if they eat out at all. They clean their own house, mow their own lawn, and basically refuse to pay for a single service or convenience.

They are also well-educated and when they were in their 40s and making 7 figures they were more flashy, but they grew up working class and in their old age they've found that's what makes them happy. They are also really paranoid about spending money and so they hoard.

THAT is hiding your wealth.

NO No... THAT is being cheap..

Agree. I am cheap. I was always cheap and I will continue being cheap.

[Anonymous]

How do you distinguish between the person who spends $30k a month out of a gross of $50k vs the persons spending $30K per month on a gross of $150k per month. Is one being showy and the other conservative or are both being showy? Does it matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you distinguish between the person who spends $30k a month out of a gross of $50k vs the persons spending $30K per month on a gross of $150k per month. Is one being showy and the other conservative or are both being showy? Does it matter?

This was my point earlier. My lifestyle isn't flashy- compared to what it could be. Is it flashy compared to the average American? Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The older generation knows how to be rich and act poor: my parents (in their 70s) are worth at least 15M+ and literally wear sneakers from Costco until they have holes in them. They drive cars until they are well over 15-18 years old. They cut coupons. They eat at Applebee's, if they eat out at all. They clean their own house, mow their own lawn, and basically refuse to pay for a single service or convenience.

They are also well-educated and when they were in their 40s and making 7 figures they were more flashy, but they grew up working class and in their old age they've found that's what makes them happy. They are also really paranoid about spending money and so they hoard.

THAT is hiding your wealth.

NO No... THAT is being cheap..

Agree. I am cheap. I was always cheap and I will continue being cheap.

Do you truly know rich friends driving cars made in 1999? That's astonishing to me.

[Anonymous]

The fact is, it takes a lot of effort to spend money.

My husband and I have a lot. But we lead a modest lifestyle because that's what we're used to, and because the things that matter the most to us - seeing family and friends, exercising, reading - are more rewarding than figuring out ways to spend money. When we need new things, we buy them (on eBay, if possible) - but otherwise, we don't bother. Too much trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you distinguish between the person who spends $30k a month out of a gross of $50k vs the persons spending $30K per month on a gross of $150k per month. Is one being showy and the other conservative or are both being showy? Does it matter?

This was my point earlier. My lifestyle isn't flashy- compared to what it could be. Is it flashy compared to the average American? Yes.

Geez. It is always flashy to spend $30k a month!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact is, it takes a lot of effort to spend money.

My husband and I have a lot. But we lead a modest lifestyle because that's what we're used to, and because the things that matter the most to us - seeing family and friends, exercising, reading - are more rewarding than figuring out ways to spend money. When we need new things, we buy them (on eBay, if possible) - but otherwise, we don't bother. Too much trouble.

Again, it just depends on your definition of a lot. If travel was ever "too much trouble" for me, or certain hobbies that I have got ruled out because they are expensive I'd rather just be poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact is, it takes a lot of effort to spend money.

My husband and I have a lot. But we lead a modest lifestyle because that's what we're used to, and because the things that matter the most to us - seeing family and friends, exercising, reading - are more rewarding than figuring out ways to spend money. When we need new things, we buy them (on eBay, if possible) - but otherwise, we don't bother. Too much trouble.

Again, it just depends on your definition of a lot. If travel was ever "too much trouble" for me, or certain hobbies that I have got ruled out because they are expensive I'd rather just be poor.

Says a person who has never been poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The fact is, it takes a lot of effort to spend money.

My husband and I have a lot. But we lead a modest lifestyle because that's what we're used to, and because the things that matter the most to us - seeing family and friends, exercising, reading - are more rewarding than figuring out ways to spend money. When we need new things, we buy them (on eBay, if possible) - but otherwise, we don't bother. Too much trouble.

Again, it just depends on your definition of a lot. If travel was ever "too much trouble" for me, or certain hobbies that I have got ruled out because they are expensive I'd rather just be poor.

Says a person who has never been poor.

No, I'm just someone who likes to live authentically. I really enjoy the things they money helps me to do, and to deny myself of things that I desire and can afford because I'm worried about being judged by others would be frustrating and ....dumb. I think it's great if it makes others happy, but to pretend like that's aspirational - in this big old world with SO MUCH to see and do is odd to me. I'm not wasting my time worrying about hiding anything about myself to please others.