Bullying, physical and sexual assaults at DCPS elementary and nothing being done by principal

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:jesus OP. Call the fucking police. your kid is being assaulted and molested at school. At a minimum, you take a family attorney to you for meeting with the school principal. EVERYTHING is on the record. for fucks sake, you do NOT send you kid back there another day. And you need to out the school right now as a service to other parents.

I called the police this morning. They came to my house and told me they would not file an assault report that they only deal with kids the age of 7 up. I said that the incident I was reporting (the assault on the playground yesterday) was with 1st graders who are 7 and 8 years old. They still refused. They said that I don't want to be getting any kids in trouble and my best option is to request a mediation with the families of the bullies and the kids. For everyone's information 3/6 kids admitted to the assault yesterday. We have reached out to the principal's superintendent and this person has not responded to our emails or returned our phone calls as of yesterday at 5pm. Does that sound right about the police refusing to make a report?

For children that young, yes. Do you really think they're going to book a fucking first grader?? In what world would that help??
Holy shit.

What else shoudl OP do? the school is ignorning her so she should just keep sending her kid in to be assualted. And those of you who suggest she just pull him out, um, where is he supposed to go to school? I am assuming this is his IB, why else would he be there? Then DCPS should put him in the school of his parents choice or pay for private. I have been surprised that DCPS will pay for private with kids with special needs and that includes ADD.

I know at least two at a private in Rockville, "asked" to leave from charters.


Hahaha you are stupid if you think DCPS will jus today to send kids with aDD to private school. If that has happened, they have been court orders to do it for failing the student. I guarantee you, you cannot just up and get them to pay for private. I have a kid who is a behavior problem, and I have been BEGGING for a private placement. No dice. (And yes, I have lawyers). I also guarantee that every parent of his classmates wishes he would get private placement too.

Guaranteed those kids don't just have ADD as their only dx. Especially if their private is in Rockville. Likely they are ASD or ED, based on the two SpEd privates I know in Rockville.

ALSO - charters and DCPS are very different in this regard. Charters want to keep their scores up and if they can get OSSE to pay for private placement, they'll do it in a heartbeat. DCPS is under strict instructions to keep private placements to a minimum.

Charters have more, but DCPS' are not kept to a minimum.

For 16-17 per the October enrollment audit, DCPS had 530 students in outside placements and all charters combined had 692

DCPS will lie and claim they can serve those children - and then hang them out to dry. DCPS will hurt the careers of anyone who tries to help a child get a private placement. They have no jurisdiction over charters, so if the charter is honest and knows that a private can do a better job, then they'll help the family transfer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:jesus OP. Call the fucking police. your kid is being assaulted and molested at school. At a minimum, you take a family attorney to you for meeting with the school principal. EVERYTHING is on the record. for fucks sake, you do NOT send you kid back there another day. And you need to out the school right now as a service to other parents.

I called the police this morning. They came to my house and told me they would not file an assault report that they only deal with kids the age of 7 up. I said that the incident I was reporting (the assault on the playground yesterday) was with 1st graders who are 7 and 8 years old. They still refused. They said that I don't want to be getting any kids in trouble and my best option is to request a mediation with the families of the bullies and the kids. For everyone's information 3/6 kids admitted to the assault yesterday. We have reached out to the principal's superintendent and this person has not responded to our emails or returned our phone calls as of yesterday at 5pm. Does that sound right about the police refusing to make a report?

For children that young, yes. Do you really think they're going to book a fucking first grader?? In what world would that help??
Holy shit.

What else shoudl OP do? the school is ignorning her so she should just keep sending her kid in to be assualted. And those of you who suggest she just pull him out, um, where is he supposed to go to school? I am assuming this is his IB, why else would he be there? Then DCPS should put him in the school of his parents choice or pay for private. I have been surprised that DCPS will pay for private with kids with special needs and that includes ADD.

I know at least two at a private in Rockville, "asked" to leave from charters.


Hahaha you are stupid if you think DCPS will jus today to send kids with aDD to private school. If that has happened, they have been court orders to do it for failing the student. I guarantee you, you cannot just up and get them to pay for private. I have a kid who is a behavior problem, and I have been BEGGING for a private placement. No dice. (And yes, I have lawyers). I also guarantee that every parent of his classmates wishes he would get private placement too.

Guaranteed those kids don't just have ADD as their only dx. Especially if their private is in Rockville. Likely they are ASD or ED, based on the two SpEd privates I know in Rockville.

ALSO - charters and DCPS are very different in this regard. Charters want to keep their scores up and if they can get OSSE to pay for private placement, they'll do it in a heartbeat. DCPS is under strict instructions to keep private placements to a minimum.

Charters have more, but DCPS' are not kept to a minimum.

For 16-17 per the October enrollment audit, DCPS had 530 students in outside placements and all charters combined had 692

If you're looking at this from the outside in, you have no idea what you're talking about. DCPS is under strict orders to send less kids to private placement. Those kids may have been grandfathered in. Ask anyone at Lab School, Kingsbury, Ivymount, Lourie Center, etc - ask them how many DC-funded kids they have now compared with 7-10 years ago. They will all tell you it's dramatically less. It is getting VERY difficult to get private placement.

Not arguing with you. But IMO it SHOULD be very difficult to get a private placement.
The total charter + DCPS numbers are down by 500 since 2012.

http://osse.dc.gov/enrollment

It should only be difficult if the school district can adequately serve the student (i.e. Montgomery County). If the school district is as bad as DCPS, then the only reason to claim to serve a student who they really CANT serve is to avoid the cost of obeying the law. But this is DC and we're cheap-ass cheaters like that. F*ck the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Email the parents directly. Let them know what is happening, 9 out of 10 times, the parents either don't know or were informed in a way that minimized the incidents. Most parents don't want their kids to be awful people and would step in. In the meantime, keep your kid home. Let him know you will do everything to keep him safe. Sign him up for a sports league or taekwondo - he needs a "pack", other kids that can look out for him or get a grownup if something happens.

Don't contact the parents, and certainly not as a first step. These are young kids; if there were something magic the parents could do to stop aggressive behavior in young kids, there would be no aggressive behavior in young kids. And if the parents react in a hostile or defensive way (which is a strong possibility) then that's just going to make the situation worse. Calling the parents is something people do because they actually want the kid punished by the parents. Which may be an understandable reaction, but is extremely unlikely do do anything to resolve the situation, and very likely to make it worse.

Agreed. I know of a situation where parents almost came to blows within the last two years--apparently, the parent of a supposed bully got irate during a meeting at school, and police had to be called.

There is some risk involved in talking to several sets of parents yourselves--even if some of them react reasonably, there is always the possibility that others won't. Unless I knew the parents pretty well, I'd go through official channels.

I was on a parent on the other end of this (the aggressive kid was mine) and the teacher kept on trying to get me to talk to the other parents (and then the other parents tried to set up meetings). It was totally pointless. I knew everything that was happening and was doing what I could to fix the situation. Younger kid, but probably not all that different for 6-7 year olds. There was no reason for me to meet with the parents; they just wanted to be nosy about my child, make useless suggestions, or get me to apologize to them or pressure me to withdraw my kid. This is an issue for the school to work out, not for parents to work out between themselves. If I needed helpful support/advice the last place I was going to go was other parents who were pissed off at me/my kid.

Obviously it didn't occur to you that you in fact owed the bullied and abused child an apology on behalf of your monster. Gee, I wonder why your child is a problem? Could it be your inability to take responsibility for wrongdoing and the anti-social example that you set?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ Obviously these beatings didn't happen just once but were repeated, traumatizing many students. The teacher's communications were parents were censored by the administration to the point where they weren't factually correct anymore, so she stopped sending emails. Yeah, DCPS just rocks.

The "bully" had special needs and obviously had rights under FERPA and IDEA not to have the teacher say whatever she wanted. So that was a correct response. Still, it sounds like DCPS eventually did the right thing by assigned a FT aid.

And the victim had privacy rights, as well.

Moreover, the fact that PP (a parent whose child was neither the direct victim nor the "bully") compiled every email and used them to literally sue DCPS is not exactly the kind of behavior that engenders a school system to report every incident and administration response in writing to parents. Not that PP was not entitled to her lawsuit--just that it's understandable why, in such a litigious environment, a principal would censor written communications to parents about violence impacting other kids.

PP, spare me the lecture. My daughter was victimized physically and mentally too, but not to the degree as the other. My daughter learned to fight and defend herself by slashing at the face with her fingernails to ward off attackers. She would wake up at night balling inconsolably from what occurred during the day. When bureaucrats entrusted to protect your child lie to you and equivocate, they deserve to be sued. If you you think 4-year olds and especially girls need to learn how to fight to defend themselves, then you got a really hard shell. Spare me the lecture about a litigious society; I tell my daughter that her parents stood up for her and defended her - we didn't run and hide or pretend everything is OK. My daughter will likewise defend herself when she's older, especially against male aggressors. And she'll use her words -- not her hands, because we are supposed to be a civilized society. When you have incompetent, negligent or reckless bureaucrats who refuse to defend victims, fortunately you can turn to the Superior Court to get fairness, and you should do exactly that. To let my daughter stay in a classroom and continue to be victimized and traumatized would have been derelict.

Brava!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Email the parents directly. Let them know what is happening, 9 out of 10 times, the parents either don't know or were informed in a way that minimized the incidents. Most parents don't want their kids to be awful people and would step in. In the meantime, keep your kid home. Let him know you will do everything to keep him safe. Sign him up for a sports league or taekwondo - he needs a "pack", other kids that can look out for him or get a grownup if something happens.

Don't contact the parents, and certainly not as a first step. These are young kids; if there were something magic the parents could do to stop aggressive behavior in young kids, there would be no aggressive behavior in young kids. And if the parents react in a hostile or defensive way (which is a strong possibility) then that's just going to make the situation worse. Calling the parents is something people do because they actually want the kid punished by the parents. Which may be an understandable reaction, but is extremely unlikely do do anything to resolve the situation, and very likely to make it worse.

Agreed. I know of a situation where parents almost came to blows within the last two years--apparently, the parent of a supposed bully got irate during a meeting at school, and police had to be called.

There is some risk involved in talking to several sets of parents yourselves--even if some of them react reasonably, there is always the possibility that others won't. Unless I knew the parents pretty well, I'd go through official channels.

I was on a parent on the other end of this (the aggressive kid was mine) and the teacher kept on trying to get me to talk to the other parents (and then the other parents tried to set up meetings). It was totally pointless. I knew everything that was happening and was doing what I could to fix the situation. Younger kid, but probably not all that different for 6-7 year olds. There was no reason for me to meet with the parents; they just wanted to be nosy about my child, make useless suggestions, or get me to apologize to them or pressure me to withdraw my kid. This is an issue for the school to work out, not for parents to work out between themselves. If I needed helpful support/advice the last place I was going to go was other parents who were pissed off at me/my kid.

Obviously it didn't occur to you that you in fact owed the bullied and abused child an apology on behalf of your monster. Gee, I wonder why your child is a problem? Could it be your inability to take responsibility for wrongdoing and the anti-social example that you set?

lol. thanks for proving my point. It's ok; you won't and can't understand.

[Anonymous]

^^^^ PP, new poster here. I'd say you don't understand. [/b]Don't let your kid traumatize others.[b] What's so hard about that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^^ PP, new poster here. I'd say you don't understand. [/b]Don't let your kid traumatize others.[b] What's so hard about that?

This makes no sense

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^^ PP, new poster here. I'd say you don't understand. [/b]Don't let your kid traumatize others.[b] What's so hard about that?

This makes no sense

trust me, if there were a single way that parents could stop their kids from hitting, there would be no hitting. apologizing to other parents is for the parents, and has nothing at all to do with solving the problem with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^^ PP, new poster here. I'd say you don't understand. [/b]Don't let your kid traumatize others.[b] What's so hard about that?

This makes no sense

trust me, if there were a single way that parents could stop their kids from hitting, there would be no hitting. apologizing to other parents is for the parents, and has nothing at all to do with solving the problem with the kids.

Then apologize to the parents. You're hurting them too, and you owe it to them. It's the very least you could do. Set a good example and apologize when you're responsible for something horrible.

Your child sees you not giving a damn that he/she hurts people and acts accordingly. Your attitude is part of the problem. The fact that you need this explained is another part of the problem.

[Anonymous]

^^^As the parent of a child who was repeatedly attacked at school, the VERY last thing I wanted was any communication with the bully's parents -- it would have served zero purpose and been uncomfortable and unproductive.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I would want the assurance that the parents were aware of the problem and that it troubled their consciences, and that they were intent on doing whatever it takes to address it.

If you create a sociopath or just a garden variety bully then you should own it and be responsible for what you've done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I would want the assurance that the parents were aware of the problem and that it troubled their consciences, and that they were intent on doing whatever it takes to address it.

If you create a sociopath or just a garden variety bully then you should own it and be responsible for what you've done.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally, I would want the assurance that the parents were aware of the problem and that it troubled their consciences, and that they were intent on doing whatever it takes to address it.

If you create a sociopath or just a garden variety bully then you should own it and be responsible for what you've done.

+1

If they are a sociopath or parent of one, then I would stay clear away. You may want an apology but it's best to do it through a mediator or third-party. It could all go so very wrong if you do it yourself!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^^ PP, new poster here. I'd say you don't understand. [/b]Don't let your kid traumatize others.[b] What's so hard about that?

This makes no sense

trust me, if there were a single way that parents could stop their kids from hitting, there would be no hitting. apologizing to other parents is for the parents, and has nothing at all to do with solving the problem with the kids.

Then apologize to the parents. You're hurting them too, and you owe it to them. It's the very least you could do. Set a good example and apologize when you're responsible for something horrible.

Your child sees you not giving a damn that he/she hurts people and acts accordingly. Your attitude is part of the problem. The fact that you need this explained is another part of the problem.

You are making so many assumptions. Obviously we all teach our children to apologize. The issue is when other parents believe the apology (and likely, punishment) is the way to solve the situation. It's not. I am glad for you that you've never had to deal with this very difficult situation from the other side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^As the parent of a child who was repeatedly attacked at school, the VERY last thing I wanted was any communication with the bully's parents -- it would have served zero purpose and been uncomfortable and unproductive.

Exactly. Either the "bully's" parents are abusive/neglectful/etc (and hence the reason for the bullying) or they are trying like hell to fix the problem and mortified about it. About the only time it might be helpful is if the school is stonewalling on providing resources, and then the parents can get together to push for them to take action.