How do you get an affair/relationship started with another married person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am anything but Rico, a dumb ass, or a tease. I am a bit of a man whore, however. What about the slender part, if I may ask?

DOMW, you need to understand that although slender is very important to you, this is not an appealing pick up line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for Rico... How do you dump these women later?

The answer is simple. You do not "dump" them; instead, you create conditions that instell an overwhelming desire in them to end the affair. You must plan for this eventuality well in advance, for it often requires considerable time to effect. Rather than tell the soon-to-be-ex object of your desires that you must leave her because you have grown closer to your wife, you simply drop hints and suggestions that you are growing closer to your wife, while continuing the affair as before. If you develop a new object of your desires, simply begin to talk about her, always briefly and in passing, but regularly, with the STBX object. Again, carry on with the affair as before. At the same time, ever so gradually, begin to withdraw the support to her ego that you had been supplying. Each week, or each assignation, say a little bit less about the qualities in her that she values and her husband does not. Eventually, no matter how smitten you have made her, she will fall out of love and, if done right, she will end the affair "of her own accord." You must act hurt by her decision, lest she suspect the ruse, but then you must acquiesce in the decision with dignity, asking that you remain "friends." It is then you will have completed the full circle of seduction.

Well, it seems to me Rico gets off more on the maneuvers of getting into and out of the affair than the pleasure of having the affair. Major wake up call that a man could be so manipulative.

As a woman who is 40 not in high school, I do not like drama or games. I would respect a man that simply said he had second thoughts and did not want to continue with the affair. After all, I would expect him to have the same respect for me if I decided not to continue.

My expectations during the affair:

1) No contact with my family or husband (husband is ok with affair as long as he does not know or causes him embarrassment); likewise, I would never try to contact his family or wife.

2) Discretion is key - No sharing info. re: affair with friends or colleagues

3) If other person decides he/she can't stand the guilt and needs to tell spouse, leave the other person's name out of it. Spouse may cause drama and raise havoc for other person.

4) No games - If you want to hook up, then call for arrangements. If you don't, be honest with the other person and say you are no longer interested or have had a change of heart.

5) No illusions this will last. If I ever got a divorce, I would not want to move in with him or ever marry him. I am not a monogamist, so I would never want to go down that road again.

You are my kind of woman. Are you slender, cute, and available?

In my prime, I was a 10. I am probably still be considered an 8 even though I am in my 40's. Blond, blue eyes, etc.

If you are Rico, I am definitely not available. I am currently pursuing someone of interest but I am starting to wonder if he is a dumb ass and doesn't get my clues or if he is a man whore tease who likes to flirt but doesn't want to do the deed. Either way, I am looking for prospects.

You should go out with my husband. He is seriously hot and I want him to find someone. We have an open marriage.

I'm pretty picky. Some qualities I tend to go for:

1) Between the ages of 30 and 50 and not bald or going bald

2) Eastern European (even better if he has an accent when he speaks English) - Don't know why but I find these men to be very sexy

3) light color eyes, preferably blue

4) In good shape. Doesn't have to be a body builder, just not fat.

[Anonymous]

She either is or isn't, S.

[Anonymous]

Here you go -- Eastern European sophistication worthy of a connoisseur of men such as yourself. He even employs champagne.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She either is or isn't, S.

Depends on your definition. What skinny is to one person might be chunky to another. Some men prefer a healthy looking woman than a skeleton. Some women prefer a healthy lifestyle than being anorexic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for Rico... How do you dump these women later?

The answer is simple. You do not "dump" them; instead, you create conditions that instell an overwhelming desire in them to end the affair. You must plan for this eventuality well in advance, for it often requires considerable time to effect. Rather than tell the soon-to-be-ex object of your desires that you must leave her because you have grown closer to your wife, you simply drop hints and suggestions that you are growing closer to your wife, while continuing the affair as before. If you develop a new object of your desires, simply begin to talk about her, always briefly and in passing, but regularly, with the STBX object. Again, carry on with the affair as before. At the same time, ever so gradually, begin to withdraw the support to her ego that you had been supplying. Each week, or each assignation, say a little bit less about the qualities in her that she values and her husband does not. Eventually, no matter how smitten you have made her, she will fall out of love and, if done right, she will end the affair "of her own accord." You must act hurt by her decision, lest she suspect the ruse, but then you must acquiesce in the decision with dignity, asking that you remain "friends." It is then you will have completed the full circle of seduction.

Well, it seems to me Rico gets off more on the maneuvers of getting into and out of the affair than the pleasure of having the affair. Major wake up call that a man could be so manipulative.

As a woman who is 40 not in high school, I do not like drama or games. I would respect a man that simply said he had second thoughts and did not want to continue with the affair. After all, I would expect him to have the same respect for me if I decided not to continue.

My expectations during the affair:

1) No contact with my family or husband (husband is ok with affair as long as he does not know or causes him embarrassment); likewise, I would never try to contact his family or wife.

2) Discretion is key - No sharing info. re: affair with friends or colleagues

3) If other person decides he/she can't stand the guilt and needs to tell spouse, leave the other person's name out of it. Spouse may cause drama and raise havoc for other person.

4) No games - If you want to hook up, then call for arrangements. If you don't, be honest with the other person and say you are no longer interested or have had a change of heart.

5) No illusions this will last. If I ever got a divorce, I would not want to move in with him or ever marry him. I am not a monogamist, so I would never want to go down that road again.

You are my kind of woman. Are you slender, cute, and available?

In my prime, I was a 10. I am probably still be considered an 8 even though I am in my 40's. Blond, blue eyes, etc.

If you are Rico, I am definitely not available. I am currently pursuing someone of interest but I am starting to wonder if he is a dumb ass and doesn't get my clues or if he is a man whore tease who likes to flirt but doesn't want to do the deed. Either way, I am looking for prospects.

You should go out with my husband. He is seriously hot and I want him to find someone. We have an open marriage.

I'm pretty picky. Some qualities I tend to go for:

1) Between the ages of 30 and 50 and not bald or going bald

2) Eastern European (even better if he has an accent when he speaks English) - Don't know why but I find these men to be very sexy

3) light color eyes, preferably blue

4) In good shape. Doesn't have to be a body builder, just not fat.

You are so specific! He is central European with no accent although he grew up in another country. And he has brown eyes. Oh well! Good luck finding your dream lover!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She either is or isn't, S.

Depends on your definition. What skinny is to one person might be chunky to another. Some men prefer a healthy looking woman than a skeleton. Some women prefer a healthy lifestyle than being anorexic.

Fair enough, but one sees many women in other reaches of DCUM claiming that they are "slender," "skinny," "thin," blah, blah, blah.

[Anonymous]

I just wrote to you S., but I completely agree with your assessment of the the blonde.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question for Rico... How do you dump these women later?

The answer is simple. You do not "dump" them; instead, you create conditions that instell an overwhelming desire in them to end the affair. You must plan for this eventuality well in advance, for it often requires considerable time to effect. Rather than tell the soon-to-be-ex object of your desires that you must leave her because you have grown closer to your wife, you simply drop hints and suggestions that you are growing closer to your wife, while continuing the affair as before. If you develop a new object of your desires, simply begin to talk about her, always briefly and in passing, but regularly, with the STBX object. Again, carry on with the affair as before. At the same time, ever so gradually, begin to withdraw the support to her ego that you had been supplying. Each week, or each assignation, say a little bit less about the qualities in her that she values and her husband does not. Eventually, no matter how smitten you have made her, she will fall out of love and, if done right, she will end the affair "of her own accord." You must act hurt by her decision, lest she suspect the ruse, but then you must acquiesce in the decision with dignity, asking that you remain "friends." It is then you will have completed the full circle of seduction.

Well, it seems to me Rico gets off more on the maneuvers of getting into and out of the affair than the pleasure of having the affair. Major wake up call that a man could be so manipulative.

As a woman who is 40 not in high school, I do not like drama or games. I would respect a man that simply said he had second thoughts and did not want to continue with the affair. After all, I would expect him to have the same respect for me if I decided not to continue.

My expectations during the affair:

1) No contact with my family or husband (husband is ok with affair as long as he does not know or causes him embarrassment); likewise, I would never try to contact his family or wife.

2) Discretion is key - No sharing info. re: affair with friends or colleagues

3) If other person decides he/she can't stand the guilt and needs to tell spouse, leave the other person's name out of it. Spouse may cause drama and raise havoc for other person.

4) No games - If you want to hook up, then call for arrangements. If you don't, be honest with the other person and say you are no longer interested or have had a change of heart.

5) No illusions this will last. If I ever got a divorce, I would not want to move in with him or ever marry him. I am not a monogamist, so I would never want to go down that road again.

You are my kind of woman. Are you slender, cute, and available?

In my prime, I was a 10. I am probably still be considered an 8 even though I am in my 40's. Blond, blue eyes, etc.

If you are Rico, I am definitely not available. I am currently pursuing someone of interest but I am starting to wonder if he is a dumb ass and doesn't get my clues or if he is a man whore tease who likes to flirt but doesn't want to do the deed. Either way, I am looking for prospects.

You should go out with my husband. He is seriously hot and I want him to find someone. We have an open marriage.

I'm pretty picky. Some qualities I tend to go for:

1) Between the ages of 30 and 50 and not bald or going bald

2) Eastern European (even better if he has an accent when he speaks English) - Don't know why but I find these men to be very sexy

3) light color eyes, preferably blue

4) In good shape. Doesn't have to be a body builder, just not fat.

You are so specific! He is central European with no accent although he grew up in another country. And he has brown eyes. Oh well! Good luck finding your dream lover!

I have found someone that fits the above criteria but still working on getting him from talking about sex and actually having sex. Right now it would be hard for me to find a close substitute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She either is or isn't, S.

Depends on your definition. What skinny is to one person might be chunky to another. Some men prefer a healthy looking woman than a skeleton. Some women prefer a healthy lifestyle than being anorexic.

Fair enough, but one sees many women in other reaches of DCUM claiming that they are "slender," "skinny," "thin," blah, blah, blah.

That is because they are lying, DOMW. They are posting anonymously and no one will ever find out the truth. These are the ones who are 200 pounds.

[Anonymous]

Hah! You are probably correct S.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well stated 21:05.

I agree. This guy is clearly more interested in the chase than the actual affair. Women beware of this type! If it smells like Rico, you're probaby well South of the Border.

Rico smells like whatever your favorite scent it. For some, it is fine Corinthian leather. For others, it is yuca and pollo a la brasa. You will never know that it is I, Rico, only that I smell like what you want.

The above and the previous long post on how to dump a woman were written by a different Rico. I agree that the breakup should seem to be initiated by her. But I would never explicitly tell a woman that I wanted to be "just friends." Even if, as a PP stated, the woman knows going in that she would never want a serious relationship, she must be convinced that you esteem her so highly that your desire is limited only by your determination to respect her wishes. The move to the "just friends" stage in this case should appear to be a concession that is somewhat difficult for you to make, a sacrifice of your desires for her welfare. Even if you wish to end this affair you still want to preserve the possibility of occasional access. Using the words "just friends" may preclude any exceedingly pleasureable one or two-time relapses down the road. The words "just friends" can make a certain type of 7/8 feel rejected, a dynamic that you will wish to avoid in your workplace at all costs.

[Anonymous]

You are so specific! He is central European with no accent although he grew up in another country. And he has brown eyes. Oh well! Good luck finding your dream lover!

I have found someone that fits the above criteria but still working on getting him from talking about sex and actually having sex. Right now it would be hard for me to find a close substitute.

Oh but men are so easy! Just be bold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


I have found someone that fits the above criteria but still working on getting him from talking about sex and actually having sex. Right now it would be hard for me to find a close substitute.

So he actually talks about sex but won't do you? That's even more frustrating than my situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well stated 21:05.

I agree. This guy is clearly more interested in the chase than the actual affair. Women beware of this type! If it smells like Rico, you're probaby well South of the Border.

Rico smells like whatever your favorite scent it. For some, it is fine Corinthian leather. For others, it is yuca and pollo a la brasa. You will never know that it is I, Rico, only that I smell like what you want.

The above and the previous long post on how to dump a woman were written by a different Rico. I agree that the breakup should seem to be initiated by her. But I would never explicitly tell a woman that I wanted to be "just friends." Even if, as a PP stated, the woman knows going in that she would never want a serious relationship, she must be convinced that you esteem her so highly that your desire is limited only by your determination to respect her wishes. The move to the "just friends" stage in this case should appear to be a concession that is somewhat difficult for you to make, a sacrifice of your desires for her welfare. Even if you wish to end this affair you still want to preserve the possibility of occasional access. Using the words "just friends" may preclude any exceedingly pleasureable one or two-time relapses down the road. The words "just friends" can make a certain type of 7/8 feel rejected, a dynamic that you will wish to avoid in your workplace at all costs.

Ay, Dios mio! Hay muchas Ricos? Imposible!