my husband is a terrible gift giver and it bums me out each year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a husband and I will openly admit I suck at buying gifts for my wife.

Men are so much easier to buy for. We have hobbies, sports interest, you can get us tools, car items, stuff for the grill....almost anything and we will be happy.

We can not exactly buy you clothes....you will never like what we buy.

If we buy household items we get grief for buying something for the house.

If you have a hobby do you really want another knitting needle?
If your into yoga do you you want is picking out another yoga mat?

Men tend to go to the old standbys...flowers, jewelry and chocolate. They are all safe gifts in our eyes. Sorry...no creativity from us.

OMG how about a book? That would at least show you know what types of things she likes to read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To people who buy gifts for your spouses: Are you finances separated? Because it feels weird to "gift" something using money from joint accounts. We gift to children, but we buy our own frivolous things, so to speak. Trying to guess what the other person wants is a waste of money IMO.

+1

Yeah, the money thing. Though we just trust each other with discretionary spending on items year round.

Though, secretly, the token bag of gummy Cola bottles under the tree from DW are deeply appreciated.

[Anonymous]

we dont really do 'gifts' but if I travel and see something for DH that I think he'd like, I get it. Usually I buy him ties and nice shirts, because he appreciates them but doesn't get them for himself.

He doesn't buy me things, with the exception of chocolate, though he has tried in the past with jewelry and it doesnt fly (a giant amber bead necklace, where I wear delicate silver, etc). so now, his gifts are acts of love, expressions of affection. Its okay. I get myself the things I want/need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a husband and I will openly admit I suck at buying gifts for my wife.

Men are so much easier to buy for. We have hobbies, sports interest, you can get us tools, car items, stuff for the grill....almost anything and we will be happy.

We can not exactly buy you clothes....you will never like what we buy.

If we buy household items we get grief for buying something for the house.

If you have a hobby do you really want another knitting needle?
If your into yoga do you you want is picking out another yoga mat?

Men tend to go to the old standbys...flowers, jewelry and chocolate. They are all safe gifts in our eyes. Sorry...no creativity from us.

YES! I would love stuff for my hobbies, or gift certificates to relevant stores.

Instead I get stuff that my husband thinks is something useful, or IOUs for big stuff I would have bought anyhow - which never actually materialize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mostly feel like when I do get a gift it's so random my husband must not know me at all.

LOL +1! He tries so he gets points for that, but is so so not good at gift giving. I recently decided that for the sake of our marriage and to prevent disappointment on all holidays where gift giving is involved, to make a wish list that he can pick from. Fast forward to my birthday recently...he got me something on the list that 2 other people had already gotten me for Christmas...I think he's pretty much the least observant person on the planet. Still madly in love with him, but yeah I may need to just buy my own gifts going forward. At least he's really good about getting me flowers and cards frequently.

[Anonymous]

Men are not mind-readers.

[Anonymous]

OP, I hear you. To get over the hurt feelings, my DH and I decided years ago not to give each other gifts. With the saved money we take trips. Everyone is happy and we buy what we want for ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Haven't read the whole thread, so if this is a repeat of what someone else said, my apologies.

If your husband notices your jewelry, purses, shoes, etc. and actually has an opinion beyond "she looks hot in that" or "she looks fat in that" it is not typical. Probably not even normal. Possibly means he's gay. Just sayin'

[Anonymous]

I knit, but DH has no clue. I'm super picky about my yarns and supplies. He'll never ever know 1) what to get 2) where to get it, so why bother?

A token of appreciation? Flowers. Candy. I'm good.

[Anonymous]

Women are just much more likely to be disappointed by their men than vice versa. It's just how it is.

Guys, if you want to impress your wife then get her a gift that speaks to her sentimentality. You need a gift that speaks to her brain or emotions. So a book, a new writing journal, a calendar you designed with photos from vacations, original artwork from a local artist, etc - all of that is gift fodder for the wife/GF.

As a man, I appreciate gifts that I find "useful" - shirts, ties, stuff for the kitchen or house, a bottle of good whiskey, sporting gear, etc. Most women I've dated do NOT want a "useful" gift. However, that's how many of us men judge a good gift.

[Anonymous]

OP have you read the Five Love Languages? Your love language is gifts. Your husband's love language is probably something else. I don't care about gifts, and I used to think it was petty when my friends complained about these things but now I know better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women are just much more likely to be disappointed by their men than vice versa. It's just how it is.

Guys, if you want to impress your wife then get her a gift that speaks to her sentimentality. You need a gift that speaks to her brain or emotions. So a book, a new writing journal, a calendar you designed with photos from vacations, original artwork from a local artist, etc - all of that is gift fodder for the wife/GF.

As a man, I appreciate gifts that I find "useful" - shirts, ties, stuff for the kitchen or house, a bottle of good whiskey, sporting gear, etc. Most women I've dated do NOT want a "useful" gift. However, that's how many of us men judge a good gift.

It's personal though. If DH presented me with something sentimental about himself, I'd just think it's silly. If it was about DC, I'd love it. But many women may indeed be interested in romantic mementos from DHs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women are just much more likely to be disappointed by their men than vice versa. It's just how it is.

Which is why men shouldn't get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are just much more likely to be disappointed by their men than vice versa. It's just how it is.

Which is why men shouldn't get married.

Agreed, but if we followed your advice, there wouldn't be any men for women to marry. Men cave to the pressure - she wants a wedding, a home, and a baby and she wants it YESTERDAY.

[Anonymous]

Quit wishing you had a different husband and enjoy the one you have.