What is your deepest family secret?

[Anonymous]

Yes, and I think she was molested as a child but for me that's not a good enough excuse. I have not spoken to her since I was a child because I grew up knowing all of this. It took me a long time to let go of the anger but I eventually did which I think is why I've made healthy choices in my own life, starting with choice #1 - Disown crazy family!

[Anonymous]

I am one of three girls. Each of my two sisters have felony-level convictions for child abuse -- one sexual, one physical abuse and neglect. I'm always afraid that if people find out, they will automatically assume I abuse my DC as well and report me to CPS on general principle. For the record, I never never have and never would. I don't even yell at him, it feels like the first step down the slippery slope. I went to a counselor for months before he was born to learn positive, healthy discipline techniques so I could be as sure as I could not to hurt him in any way -- including spoiling him. My parents are really distraught that I won't let either of my sisters so much as meet my child, they feel like I'm way over-reacting. Maybe I am but I don't know how else to handle my fears of them having any contact with him.

[Anonymous]

You're not overreacting, 23:20.

[Anonymous]

You are all forgiven for your family secrets! Let the great season of shamefulness be over!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are all forgiven for your family secrets! Let the great season of shamefulness be over!

Don't be facile. People are dealing with some real pain here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not overreacting, 23:20.

agree. You are not overreacting. Also, pause and be proud of the proactive steps you have taken to address being a good parent. It takes strength, conviction and hones reflection to take the steps that you did and continue to take. Hugs to you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not overreacting, 23:20.

ITA, You are not over reacting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:That my grandfather was 1/4 black and passed for white. I had to pry it out of my mother...

wow. this is amazing...do you appear AA? Ahhh, sorry, that didn't come out the way I meant it. I just find this fascinating as to how people come to look the way they do...

The PP is 1/16 black. It's very doubtful that s/he looks black.

Personal experience from someone 1/16 black-I have the lips and the muscular build of a black person. I love it. No Botox, and I was a college athlete. Otherwise I am a nice olive color, super dark ash brown hair, bright green eyes.

You sound very beautiful physically, but it is sad that you believe black people are somehow naturally more muscularly built. My ancestors are German and many of them are built like plow horses, but I am thin, small boned, angular and tall. It has nothing whatever to do with my race, rather just my selected genes. Good grief, the ignorance.

Oh COME ON! It is no coincidence that black people dominate professional sports at much higer proportionate rate than any other race. Different races are built differently, this is not ignorance, but a glaring FACT.

Black people kick white people's asses all over the place in sports, even though they are at a socioeconomic disadvantage and probably do not benefit nearly as much as all the money that white parents through at their kids getting private coaching and instruction.

OF COURSE there are exceptions...Larry Byrd and such, but not many. Of course there are black people with poor muscle tone, no matter what they do, but as a whole black people are much stronger and more athletic than whites.

IMO, there is a difference between "acknowledging that the races are different on average" and "being an asshole to others or assuming the worst from others because of their race, or even assuming that these differences will apply to every member of that race."

Saying Asians have a higher IQ than whites? Not racism, at least it's debatable.

I remember an episode of "Boy Meets World" (I think) where a teacher put the Chinese kid on the academic team assuming he was just super-smart and the Chinese kid proceeded to lose the game. That's racism on the teacher's part, and looking back, if it had been about a black person being put on the sports team there'd have been an outcry. But IMO I didn't mind the episode, the teacher came out looking like a jerk as well he should have.

Hmm, not much in the way of family secrets that I'm aware of. I know my dad would rent all sorts of PPV pr0n from looking at the logs. My great-granddad divorced in the late 19th century and shortly after married a 16 year old (he was 35 or so.) I don't know much about what my maternal grandmother's family did in Japan, or what my maternal grandparent's family did. I know the most about my dad's dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are all forgiven for your family secrets! Let the great season of shamefulness be over!

Don't be facile. People are dealing with some real pain here.

If they are posting on an anonymous board and not seeking help, they are not dealing with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're not overreacting, 23:20.

agree. You are not overreacting. Also, pause and be proud of the proactive steps you have taken to address being a good parent. It takes strength, conviction and hones reflection to take the steps that you did and continue to take. Hugs to you!

Totally agree. I bet you're a really good mom. Kudos to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are all forgiven for your family secrets! Let the great season of shamefulness be over!

Don't be facile. People are dealing with some real pain here.

If they are posting on an anonymous board and not seeking help, they are not dealing with it.

We don't know if they are seeking help or not. Hopefully, they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad molested his sister when they were young adults. He told me when I was about 17 because I saw her be really mean to him one day and he felt like he had to tell me why she was so angry with him. It changed my view of him forever.

My uncle sexually molested my mom. My grandmother knew and did nothing. I found out a couple of years ago. And yes, it has changed my whole perspective on my family. It makes me feel like we lived a lie when I was growing up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are all forgiven for your family secrets! Let the great season of shamefulness be over!

Don't be facile. People are dealing with some real pain here.

I was attempting to be kind, not facile, in light of that "real pain." And I would suggest YOU stop being cynical about what motivates people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am one of three girls. Each of my two sisters have felony-level convictions for child abuse -- one sexual, one physical abuse and neglect. I'm always afraid that if people find out, they will automatically assume I abuse my DC as well and report me to CPS on general principle. For the record, I never never have and never would. I don't even yell at him, it feels like the first step down the slippery slope. I went to a counselor for months before he was born to learn positive, healthy discipline techniques so I could be as sure as I could not to hurt him in any way -- including spoiling him. My parents are really distraught that I won't let either of my sisters so much as meet my child, they feel like I'm way over-reacting. Maybe I am but I don't know how else to handle my fears of them having any contact with him.

You are not over-reacting at all. I don't know why your parents aren't taking your side. I would never EVER let people like your two sister near my kids either. It's hard to believe that any mom could abuse her children that way, let alone sexually abuse But I know it happens and kudos to you for taking steps to ensure that you don't fall into the same sort of behavior. Just curious, were you or your sisters abused as children? I often wonder how accurate the whole abusee-becomes-abuser theory is. My sisters and I were physically and emotionally abused as children but I am the only one who now has kids. Having a child has amplified how terrible my parents were and I refuse to be like them. As for my sisters, neither one of them ever wants to have kids. My parents see my children only when supervised and there will be no spending the weekend with grandma and grandpa with them!!

[Anonymous]

Ok, I may be mistaken, but I think I'm the "original" rabbit lady. I posted this on a thread a while ago, the tittle of the thread was along the lines of "Best $100 you've ever spent". I never posted anything about it again, certainly not on this thread and I think someone just read that and ran away with it, posting in multiple threads afterwards.

Anyway, I do have a family secret as well, when I was really young (maybe 7 or 8) my twin cousins (probably around 10 at the time (about 12) would have me take my pants off so they could lick me and would ask me to do the same. They came from a very strange household and I now think they were probably doing what was done to them (they were girls btw). I later had a lot of sexual contact with 3 other (male) cousins, all older and never reported any of it bc I thought it was "normal".
My mom was not able to get pregnant (had cysts that caused her to have her ovaries removed) and my parents adopted me when I was a newborn. My paternal grandmother was nothing but sweet to me, but I know that she was always saying awful things to my mother (like you're lucky my son hasn't left you for someone that can have kids or you should've kept the adoption a secret and
not embarass the family). My mom never hid from né the fact that I was adopted, much against my father and his family's desires. My dad was a chronic cheat and I believe my mother put up with it for as ling as she did because she thought she wasn't good enough to demand more from him. I wish she had stood up for herself more, but I'm glad she stood up for me.