What is your deepest family secret?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grandfather^4 (maybe 5) was native american. It's only as of my parents' generation that it's acceptable to talk about it- the subject was strictly forbidden with the generation before them. He "passed" as european from the time he was a young man.

That sounds familiar. I have a great grandfather that was part native american and I think part black. The relatives called him a "Red Bone", in hushed tones. This is rural Louisiana for ya.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad, a revered pillar of the community, was an abusive alcholic who would go into a drunken rage every 5-7 days, wrecking the house, beating the shit out of everyone and making a spectacle in public. He killed himself as did two of my siblings. I have no shame with people who didn't know me growing up but I have immense shame with people who knew me back then, even though I know intellectually it's not my fault. Emotionally, I still live in fear and dread that the horrible secret will be out. As long as it's not talked about, I can pretend we're "normal".

OMG. I'm so sorry you had to grow up like that. That must have been horrible. I don't even know what to say except to say that I send hugs.

[Anonymous]

In the 1920s and 30's my great grandfather and step-great grandmother used to sponsor women from Ireland. That is until one of them turned up pregnant. She was 18 and my GG was in his late 40's early 50's. The girl couldn't return to Ireland as an unwed mother and she no longer could live with my great grandparents. She was forced out onto the streets. She had the baby and worked really hard making a life with him. GG knew that she had the baby and even brought him home to show off to his infertile wife. My great Uncle lived with his mother until the age of six when she married. Her husband's family forced her to give up her child for adoption because his brother had a political career. My great uncle had his name legally changed to that of his foster family but was never adopted by them.

That Great Grandfather would also go on huge benders. When he would drink his wife wouldn't allow him in the house. He wasn't allowed at my grandmother's house either. My grandmother didn't want to deal with him when he was like that and my grandfather was an upstanding man and a pillar of the community. He certainly couldn't stay with my great aunt in the Convent. So GG lived under a bridge during his benders. When his wife died his drinking continued and just lived under the bridge.

My grandfather kept the books for the Irish mob and refused to take any money from them. He was constantly offered cars, houses, cash and furs and he flatly refused to take any of them. He didn't want to be tied to them forever. His brother had accepted money from them and, when he tried to leave, he was thrown off a water tower and killed.

[Anonymous]

my grandfather was in the Russian mob in Brooklyn. He never worked a "real" job and his kids (my dad) never knew where he went each day or what he did.

[Anonymous]

My dad left my mom for her brother's wife. So my step mom is my aunt. 20 years later, I don't tell anyone the truth.

[Anonymous]

My parents were married to other people when they met and had an affair. My mom doesn't know that I know. Even though my parents marriage didn't last, my mom has NEVER mentioned her first marriage to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad left my mom for her brother's wife. So my step mom is my aunt. 20 years later, I don't tell anyone the truth.

My ex-boyfriend's mom married her sister's ex. He talked about it rarely too but mostly because his cousins were his stepbrothers.

[Anonymous]

18:34- do you live in McLean? I swear most of the middle aged white guys I see in McLean (married or not, but especially the married ones) are so high strung they are gay. Flame all you want. But you will never see more gay guys in one place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing that is too obviously identifiable, of course. In my case it is that my great grandfather was Jewish. My idiotic mother still speaks about it in hushed tones.

Wow. That is just sad, both your mother chose to find this fact so embarrassing AND that you started the thread because this is your family secret.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my mothers tells little white lies. the most annoying one is her birthday, she claims to have been born in a different month then her real birthday, same year. go figure, she has never told me why she has lived with this stupid lie for decades but now I have to cover for her too. its so stupid and annoying.

My husband's official birthday is six months earlier than his real one. He was born in a developing country, where the parents register the birth with the authorities. His dad claimed he was born earlier, so that he would be able to start school earlier. Then, a few years later, he did the same thing with the second child. He picked the same date, so that he would be more likely to remember it.

This isn't a secret... he'll tell anyone who asks. But it's a possible reason for your mother's strangeness.

Yup, pretty much everyone in my parent's generation has this same situation. It's pretty funny. I've gotten some head shaking from people who think that we just have completely forgotten my Mom's birthday, even though we celebrate the 'real' one a few months later.

[Anonymous]

My mother told me when I was 11 that my father wasn't my real father (she was in a fight with him and wanted to hurt him. Funny-she also devastated an 11 year old girl). And she swore me to secrecy and to never let my dad know. I kept my knowledge from him until I was 19. Kind of had a breakdown and wrote everyone in my family a letter. He's an amazing dad, we've had talks, and I still find it hard to believe that he would love me like his own so much that I had no clue until my mom told me. My mother, on the other hand is just toxic. Never met my biological father.

[Anonymous]

My uncle passed away from HIV/HIV related complication in 1994. To this day my grandmother (old German, from "the old country") still tells people that her son had cancer. She cannot come to terms he had Aids or that he was gay.

[Anonymous]

Back in the mid-60's - My sister's twin was not stillborn as my parents always said but rather was born alive. I found this out while investigating our family tree a few years ago. There is no death certificate and no information via the social security db's that he has died for him to this day but there was a birth certificate and it does report him as a live birth.

My parents are dead. My siblings still give the same story - the twin was stilborn. I believe they have no idea this is in fact not true. They have no reason to lie at this point - we have very little family left and none were around back when he was born.

I am guessing he was placed for adoption but have no idead the motivation or reasons. No one in our family has ever been contacted by an unknown adult claiming to be our sibling so I don't think anyone is looking for us.

[Anonymous]

It is almost humorous how in denial our parents generation is about so many things. And so it goes.

OP, why do you want to know? You must have something pretty unsettling to tell us, besides what you posted, if you are asking. It is anonymous, so you can tell us. Have you resolved whatever it is?

[Anonymous]

My paternal grandma was a prostitute. She was also raised by HER grandparents, who pretended to be her parents. If you can follow this, her mom was a teen mom of an illegitimate baby - my grandma.

Weirdest of all though. There are two family myths about who was grandma's bio dad. 1) a big mobster 2) the man who raised her - her grandpa=her dad.

That's right - I may be descended from incest.