What is your deepest family secret?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No pp, the other poster is out of line lecturing you. I am so sorry for what you have endured and what you are dealing with. You have every right to your fellings and illness or not it does not diminish your pain. I wish you peace.

+1

Don't listen to them somehow saying you're to blame for the stigma. I agree that PP is out of line. You have a right to feel however you feel about your sister, mental illness or not. You're entitled to your feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No pp, the other poster is out of line lecturing you. I am so sorry for what you have endured and what you are dealing with. You have every right to your fellings and illness or not it does not diminish your pain. I wish you peace.

Not lecturing but mental illness shouldn't be shameful or a big dark family secret either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No pp, the other poster is out of line lecturing you. I am so sorry for what you have endured and what you are dealing with. You have every right to your fellings and illness or not it does not diminish your pain. I wish you peace.

Not lecturing but mental illness shouldn't be shameful or a big dark family secret either.

I agree with this, thank you for posting it.

[Anonymous]

I have a relative who was involved in a shooting - he shot first and his victim returned gunfire. Both died. When explaining this relative's death, I lie and say this family member committed suicide. It's somehow easier this way and stops people from asking questions I'm too ashamed to answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raped in college by my boyfriend when I tried to breakup with him. 9 months later, I slept with him voluntarily.

I hope you have since sought and received therapy. Both sides of this coin are equally troubling.

Yes, I went for a while, but I'm not sure there was a problem. It was first love, very strong hormones and emotions on both sides. We are friends to this day.

If you are comfortable with it, then it's not a problem. Don't let others make it a problem for you.

[Anonymous]

Not as bad as some of these things, but this is something about my family that I just found out from my mother.

When my bisnonna was pregnant with my nonno she found out that her husband (my bisnonno) had a long-term mistress. She was upset, because this had been going on for years apparently. He retaliated by putting her in a insane asylum, where she gave birth to my nonno.

She died from complications a few days after giving birth. My bisnonno had money that came from her side of the family, but just told them to put her in the paupers graveyard. He then married his mistress who abused my grandfather while he grew up. She would tell him that they had wanted to abandon him on the road after they picked him up from the asylum, or drop him off at a church as a foundling. They never let him know his mother's family, and he didn't even know her name until his wedding when his father had to help him complete the marriage certificate.

When my bisnonno and his wife died, they left nothing to my nonno, even though most of it came from his mother. Everything was left to his step-brothers from the mistress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not as bad as some of these things, but this is something about my family that I just found out from my mother.

When my bisnonna was pregnant with my nonno she found out that her husband (my bisnonno) had a long-term mistress. She was upset, because this had been going on for years apparently. He retaliated by putting her in a insane asylum, where she gave birth to my nonno.

She died from complications a few days after giving birth. My bisnonno had money that came from her side of the family, but just told them to put her in the paupers graveyard. He then married his mistress who abused my grandfather while he grew up. She would tell him that they had wanted to abandon him on the road after they picked him up from the asylum, or drop him off at a church as a foundling. They never let him know his mother's family, and he didn't even know her name until his wedding when his father had to help him complete the marriage certificate.

When my bisnonno and his wife died, they left nothing to my nonno, even though most of it came from his mother. Everything was left to his step-brothers from the mistress.

Do you think bisnonno/a is a standard term everyone understands?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not as bad as some of these things, but this is something about my family that I just found out from my mother.

When my bisnonna was pregnant with my nonno she found out that her husband (my bisnonno) had a long-term mistress. She was upset, because this had been going on for years apparently. He retaliated by putting her in a insane asylum, where she gave birth to my nonno.

She died from complications a few days after giving birth. My bisnonno had money that came from her side of the family, but just told them to put her in the paupers graveyard. He then married his mistress who abused my grandfather while he grew up. She would tell him that they had wanted to abandon him on the road after they picked him up from the asylum, or drop him off at a church as a foundling. They never let him know his mother's family, and he didn't even know her name until his wedding when his father had to help him complete the marriage certificate.

When my bisnonno and his wife died, they left nothing to my nonno, even though most of it came from his mother. Everything was left to his step-brothers from the mistress.

Do you think bisnonno/a is a standard term everyone understands?

Google + context. It's not that hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not as bad as some of these things, but this is something about my family that I just found out from my mother.

When my bisnonna was pregnant with my nonno she found out that her husband (my bisnonno) had a long-term mistress. She was upset, because this had been going on for years apparently. He retaliated by putting her in a insane asylum, where she gave birth to my nonno.

She died from complications a few days after giving birth. My bisnonno had money that came from her side of the family, but just told them to put her in the paupers graveyard. He then married his mistress who abused my grandfather while he grew up. She would tell him that they had wanted to abandon him on the road after they picked him up from the asylum, or drop him off at a church as a foundling. They never let him know his mother's family, and he didn't even know her name until his wedding when his father had to help him complete the marriage certificate.

When my bisnonno and his wife died, they left nothing to my nonno, even though most of it came from his mother. Everything was left to his step-brothers from the mistress.

Do you think bisnonno/a is a standard term everyone understands?

Google + context. It's not that hard.

Why not just say grandmother, grandfather etc. I too thought it was weird.

[Anonymous]

Why on earth is that pp using the Italian words when we have English word for those terms? Very bizarre. I'm pretty embarrassed for pp if she refers to these people by the Italian words in real life. Seriously, that is way weird.

[Anonymous]

I was raped by a friend of a friend while home on summer break from college. It occurred in my parents' home. DH knows about it, but my parents do not. I never saw a doctor after or reported it. I should have, primarily because I'd bet I wasn't the only woman he did that to. It didn't occur to me at the time, though, that my silence could result in another woman suffering the same thing.

The saddest thing is, my story is so commonplace that it hardly qualifies as a big secret. So many women have gone through something similar. Most of us just never talk about it.

[Anonymous]

My father had an affair when my nanny (she wasn't my nanny at the time). My mom found out and confronted nanny/dad - then my nanny told her she was deeply depressed and needed something new in her life or she was going to commit suicide- which was when my mother decide to let her watch me(I was a about a year old). My nanny did more for me and treated me more like a daughter than my mother did (both my parents worked 50+ hours a week). I found out when my parents got divorced And mom decided I neede to know the truth at 14.


I love all parties involved still dearly - I still see my old nanny when I come to town. I don't know that she Is aware I know but she has spoiled me my entire life(I now think because she's guilty, and loves me like a daughter). I also remember going to daily pshycitrist/therapy appointments with nanny.

[Anonymous]

there are just too many to list here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not as bad as some of these things, but this is something about my family that I just found out from my mother.

When my bisnonna was pregnant with my nonno she found out that her husband (my bisnonno) had a long-term mistress. She was upset, because this had been going on for years apparently. He retaliated by putting her in a insane asylum, where she gave birth to my nonno.

She died from complications a few days after giving birth. My bisnonno had money that came from her side of the family, but just told them to put her in the paupers graveyard. He then married his mistress who abused my grandfather while he grew up. She would tell him that they had wanted to abandon him on the road after they picked him up from the asylum, or drop him off at a church as a foundling. They never let him know his mother's family, and he didn't even know her name until his wedding when his father had to help him complete the marriage certificate.

When my bisnonno and his wife died, they left nothing to my nonno, even though most of it came from his mother. Everything was left to his step-brothers from the mistress.

Do you think bisnonno/a is a standard term everyone understands?

I'm Jewish and I got it. It's pretty self-explanatory if you read the post.

What I will say, is that this woman was EVIL, as was her husband. Don't be ashamed - be proud because YOU are a better person.

[Anonymous]

I only recently found out that my family (mainly my sister and my mom) have decided to lie to my niece about who her father is. My sister got pregnant by her abusive boyfriend who died in a car accident before they knew about the pregnancy. My sister decided to keep the baby, got her life together and met her future husband. They got married when my niece was 2.5 and had another baby within a year. They have four kids now, and my niece is under the impression that they are all full-blood siblings.

My BIL adopted my niece and she has always called him Daddy, but I had always thought she knew the real story. She's in elementary school now, and my mom recently told me never to talk about her "real dad" because she doesn't know, and according to them, there's no reason why she should ever know. I disagree, although it's not my decision, and I don't think it will be possible to keep this secret. What happens when she looks at her own birth certificate, or asks why her parents got married when she was 2, or can't find any photos of herself with her dad as an infant? I think it's a bad idea to have this secret.