Childhood friend will stay with me for a week. What do you think will happen?

[Anonymous]

Okay it’s all down to insults now.
I guess I wanted to know if there’s something like seeing a person through the lens of youth.
Like, I’ve caught this look once from someone (not this guy) I haven’t seen in 10-15 years which seemed like he still saw me as attractive. It was a brief encounter so I didn’t give it thought but now I remembered.

I know many here want to see me as a desperate woman waiting to jump at the guy, but no, I am not. I will be friendly and a good houseguest. No I won’t visit him in his bedroom at night
In fact we will both be mostly working and I don’t WFH so it’s probably dinners together and some talking and that’s it.
I don’t think you guys need to worry about the wife that much. So far the guy has been immaculate in how he behaved, with me at least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay it’s all down to insults now.
I guess I wanted to know if there’s something like seeing a person through the lens of youth.
Like, I’ve caught this look once from someone (not this guy) I haven’t seen in 10-15 years which seemed like he still saw me as attractive. It was a brief encounter so I didn’t give it thought but now I remembered.

I know many here want to see me as a desperate woman waiting to jump at the guy, but no, I am not. I will be friendly and a good houseguest. No I won’t visit him in his bedroom at night
In fact we will both be mostly working and I don’t WFH so it’s probably dinners together and some talking and that’s it.
I don’t think you guys need to worry about the wife that much. So far the guy has been immaculate in how he behaved, with me at least.

You sound sadder and sadder with each post. Is this really what you thought your life would be like in your 40s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay it’s all down to insults now.
I guess I wanted to know if there’s something like seeing a person through the lens of youth.
Like, I’ve caught this look once from someone (not this guy) I haven’t seen in 10-15 years which seemed like he still saw me as attractive. It was a brief encounter so I didn’t give it thought but now I remembered.

I know many here want to see me as a desperate woman waiting to jump at the guy, but no, I am not. I will be friendly and a good houseguest. No I won’t visit him in his bedroom at night
In fact we will both be mostly working and I don’t WFH so it’s probably dinners together and some talking and that’s it.
I don’t think you guys need to worry about the wife that much. So far the guy has been immaculate in how he behaved, with me at least.

You sound sadder and sadder with each post. Is this really what you thought your life would be like in your 40s?

I know I don’t have to engage with you but really, my life is fine!
I don’t have any heartache or anxiety like I used to when I was in relationships. I don’t need anything from men except seх, and even that I can live without.
I’ve been in all sorts of relationships and even a marriage and being alone is what’s best for me after all. I wish I could easily get hot men for sex but as I said I can do without.
I know you won’t believe me but I don’t really care, I am past validation from DCUM of all things.
I wanted to use it as a magic 8 but I should’ve known better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay it’s all down to insults now.
I guess I wanted to know if there’s something like seeing a person through the lens of youth.
Like, I’ve caught this look once from someone (not this guy) I haven’t seen in 10-15 years which seemed like he still saw me as attractive. It was a brief encounter so I didn’t give it thought but now I remembered.

I know many here want to see me as a desperate woman waiting to jump at the guy, but no, I am not. I will be friendly and a good houseguest. No I won’t visit him in his bedroom at night
In fact we will both be mostly working and I don’t WFH so it’s probably dinners together and some talking and that’s it.
I don’t think you guys need to worry about the wife that much. So far the guy has been immaculate in how he behaved, with me at least.

You seem like the type of woman who is convinced she's being hit on when it's really just someone being a normal human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay it’s all down to insults now.
I guess I wanted to know if there’s something like seeing a person through the lens of youth.
Like, I’ve caught this look once from someone (not this guy) I haven’t seen in 10-15 years which seemed like he still saw me as attractive. It was a brief encounter so I didn’t give it thought but now I remembered.

I know many here want to see me as a desperate woman waiting to jump at the guy, but no, I am not. I will be friendly and a good houseguest. No I won’t visit him in his bedroom at night
In fact we will both be mostly working and I don’t WFH so it’s probably dinners together and some talking and that’s it.
I don’t think you guys need to worry about the wife that much. So far the guy has been immaculate in how he behaved, with me at least.

You seem like the type of woman who is convinced she's being hit on when it's really just someone being a normal human.

No. If anything, I am the opposite. I’d never assume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is just out of curiosity, I have a boring life so this event mildly excites me.
Here are the facts.
- a childhood friend is coming to stay with me for a week.
-we will be in my apartment alone
- we had a fling in our 20s and I was his first
-he is athletic and I am not, I am somewhat overweight but not obese. In short he is better looking
- we have stayed more or less in touch and have met briefly a few years ago
-he did not show any romantic inclinations during those meetings
- he is married
-I am not going to flirt with him (obviously)
- he was the one who asked if he could “crash on my couch”
- we are both in our late 40s

What does DCUM think? Is he going to try to sleep with me or no?

He is a man-child loser.

[Anonymous]

OP, as a woman, even one who is overweight, it shouldn't be too hard to find men for "fun" one night stands. Dress nice, get your hair/makeup done. Be fun and nice to be around. Personality can make up for a few extra pounds. Know what you like in bed and don't be afraid to ask for it. Be careful and safe. If you go on the apps or out to bars you should be able to find some single men to entertain you for a night or two.

The time you're wasting pining over your married friend or arguing with randos on DCUM is time that could have been spent setting up meet and greets for your potential one night stand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay it’s all down to insults now.
I guess I wanted to know if there’s something like seeing a person through the lens of youth.
Like, I’ve caught this look once from someone (not this guy) I haven’t seen in 10-15 years which seemed like he still saw me as attractive. It was a brief encounter so I didn’t give it thought but now I remembered.

I know many here want to see me as a desperate woman waiting to jump at the guy, but no, I am not. I will be friendly and a good houseguest. No I won’t visit him in his bedroom at night
In fact we will both be mostly working and I don’t WFH so it’s probably dinners together and some talking and that’s it.
I don’t think you guys need to worry about the wife that much. So far the guy has been immaculate in how he behaved, with me at least.

You sound sadder and sadder with each post. Is this really what you thought your life would be like in your 40s?

I know I don’t have to engage with you but really, my life is fine!
I don’t have any heartache or anxiety like I used to when I was in relationships. I don’t need anything from men except seх, and even that I can live without.
I’ve been in all sorts of relationships and even a marriage and being alone is what’s best for me after all. I wish I could easily get hot men for sex but as I said I can do without.
I know you won’t believe me but I don’t really care, I am past validation from DCUM of all things.
I wanted to use it as a magic 8 but I should’ve known better

Your continuous and multiple responses actually do make it seem like you care quite a bit!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a woman, even one who is overweight, it shouldn't be too hard to find men for "fun" one night stands. Dress nice, get your hair/makeup done. Be fun and nice to be around. Personality can make up for a few extra pounds. Know what you like in bed and don't be afraid to ask for it. Be careful and safe. If you go on the apps or out to bars you should be able to find some single men to entertain you for a night or two.

The time you're wasting pining over your married friend or arguing with randos on DCUM is time that could have been spent setting up meet and greets for your potential one night stand.

I’d argue it is way lower effort to pine and argue.
What you are describing is exactly what turns me off in the whole “dating” process.
Here it’s someone I already know and if it were to happen it would be like the lowest effort ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay it’s all down to insults now.
I guess I wanted to know if there’s something like seeing a person through the lens of youth.
Like, I’ve caught this look once from someone (not this guy) I haven’t seen in 10-15 years which seemed like he still saw me as attractive. It was a brief encounter so I didn’t give it thought but now I remembered.

I know many here want to see me as a desperate woman waiting to jump at the guy, but no, I am not. I will be friendly and a good houseguest. No I won’t visit him in his bedroom at night
In fact we will both be mostly working and I don’t WFH so it’s probably dinners together and some talking and that’s it.
I don’t think you guys need to worry about the wife that much. So far the guy has been immaculate in how he behaved, with me at least.

You sound sadder and sadder with each post. Is this really what you thought your life would be like in your 40s?

I know I don’t have to engage with you but really, my life is fine!
I don’t have any heartache or anxiety like I used to when I was in relationships. I don’t need anything from men except seх, and even that I can live without.
I’ve been in all sorts of relationships and even a marriage and being alone is what’s best for me after all. I wish I could easily get hot men for sex but as I said I can do without.
I know you won’t believe me but I don’t really care, I am past validation from DCUM of all things.
I wanted to use it as a magic 8 but I should’ve known better

Your continuous and multiple responses actually do make it seem like you care quite a bit!

As I said I have a boring life and it’s entertaining to think about it.
I don’t care as in I am not offended by triggered women’s responses.
It’s food for thought though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is just out of curiosity, I have a boring life so this event mildly excites me.
Here are the facts.
- a childhood friend is coming to stay with me for a week.
-we will be in my apartment alone
- we had a fling in our 20s and I was his first
-he is athletic and I am not, I am somewhat overweight but not obese. In short he is better looking
- we have stayed more or less in touch and have met briefly a few years ago
-he did not show any romantic inclinations during those meetings
- he is married
-I am not going to flirt with him (obviously)
- he was the one who asked if he could “crash on my couch”
- we are both in our late 40s

What does DCUM think? Is he going to try to sleep with me or no?

He is a man-child loser.

He is a decent guy. Most likely he isn’t planning to hit on me. The couch was a figure of speech as we go back to college years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In what culture does look not matter? In what culture does it matter more?

A lot of African cultures the beauty standard is BBW.

Matters more in South America (Brazil, Columbia)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real question you haven’t answered is - if he does hit on you, will you hook up with him? What would you do?

Of course I will vehemently deny his advances.
Will he hit on me tho

That’s not what you said last night

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real question you haven’t answered is - if he does hit on you, will you hook up with him? What would you do?

Of course I will vehemently deny his advances.
Will he hit on me tho

That’s not what you said last night

Sorry my sarcasm sign was out of commission

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In what culture does look not matter? In what culture does it matter more?

A lot of African cultures the beauty standard is BBW.

Matters more in South America (Brazil, Columbia)

I’d say it’s pretty much every culture except North America and Western Europe. Not sure about Australia