Childhood friend will stay with me for a week. What do you think will happen?

[Anonymous]

OP, this is pretty dubious.

You clearly hope this guy will try something.

He's married.

You're a bad person if you prioritize relieving your boredom in the form of participating in an unethical situation.

Go read some r/divorce or chumplady.com and see how the people on the other side of this feel. And then decide if you can bear to be a jerk anyway.

Having someone in your house is way more loaded than just meeting up for a meal. And you know it.

[Anonymous]

Is he a loser? What 40-year old man asks to crash on his friend's couch? Is his wife ok with this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is just out of curiosity, I have a boring life so this event mildly excites me.
Here are the facts.
- a childhood friend is coming to stay with me for a week.
-we will be in my apartment alone
- we had a fling in our 20s and I was his first
-he is athletic and I am not, I am somewhat overweight but not obese. In short he is better looking
- we have stayed more or less in touch and have met briefly a few years ago
-he did not show any romantic inclinations during those meetings
- he is married
-I am not going to flirt with him (obviously)
- he was the one who asked if he could “crash on my couch”
- we are both in our late 40s

What does DCUM think? Is he going to try to sleep with me or no?

I think he’s going to persuade you to go out to dinner but then realize he forgot his wallet and ask you to pay for it.

[Anonymous]

I think you’re going to overhear a conversation he has about you and you’re going to be hurt by it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What self respecting late 40 year old sleeps on a couch? Be a grown up and sleep in a hotel with a bed.

It was a figure of speech since we knew each other as college students and it was par for the course then. Chill

Wait, so where is he actually going to sleep then?

He’ll have a bedroom of course, we aren’t college students anymore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is he a loser? What 40-year old man asks to crash on his friend's couch? Is his wife ok with this?

See above, it’s a figure of speech. Of course he’ll have a bedroom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is just out of curiosity, I have a boring life so this event mildly excites me.
Here are the facts.
- a childhood friend is coming to stay with me for a week.
-we will be in my apartment alone
- we had a fling in our 20s and I was his first
-he is athletic and I am not, I am somewhat overweight but not obese. In short he is better looking
- we have stayed more or less in touch and have met briefly a few years ago
-he did not show any romantic inclinations during those meetings
- he is married
-I am not going to flirt with him (obviously)
- he was the one who asked if he could “crash on my couch”
- we are both in our late 40s

What does DCUM think? Is he going to try to sleep with me or no?

I think he’s going to persuade you to go out to dinner but then realize he forgot his wallet and ask you to pay for it.

Haha I promise I’ll report if it happens!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re going to overhear a conversation he has about you and you’re going to be hurt by it.

I am not sure what you mean. As in, he’ll tell his wife he is staying with an ugly friend? Or do you mean something else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is pretty dubious.

You clearly hope this guy will try something.

He's married.

You're a bad person if you prioritize relieving your boredom in the form of participating in an unethical situation.

Go read some r/divorce or chumplady.com and see how the people on the other side of this feel. And then decide if you can bear to be a jerk anyway.

Having someone in your house is way more loaded than just meeting up for a meal. And you know it.

Honestly I am not sure there’s anything in it. We’ve known each other for years and he didn’t make any moves or even dropped any hints in decades. 99% that he is just looking for a free place to stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be an adult. Set the boundaries you want to set. Communicate. If it gets flirty, decide what you want to do but accept it would be just sex with nothing else.

Unless he has other business in town, then yes he would likely enjoy being invited into your bed. If he is coming just into see you and hang out with you, he is hoping for Netflix and chill

He does have other business in town (not just coming to see me or the area).
I won’t say no if he makes the move, but I am not going to make the first move because he is so much better looking I feel self-conscious, plus I don’t want to hear the “but I’m married”.

You sound like you want to be his sloppy seconds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is pretty dubious.

You clearly hope this guy will try something.

He's married.

You're a bad person if you prioritize relieving your boredom in the form of participating in an unethical situation.

Go read some r/divorce or chumplady.com and see how the people on the other side of this feel. And then decide if you can bear to be a jerk anyway.

Having someone in your house is way more loaded than just meeting up for a meal. And you know it.

Honestly I am not sure there’s anything in it. We’ve known each other for years and he didn’t make any moves or even dropped any hints in decades. 99% that he is just looking for a free place to stay.

OK, then you should be 100% sure you're not open to anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What self respecting late 40 year old sleeps on a couch? Be a grown up and sleep in a hotel with a bed.

It was a figure of speech since we knew each other as college students and it was par for the course then. Chill

Why don't you take a cold shower, stop crushing over this guy, and use accurate wording.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is just out of curiosity, I have a boring life so this event mildly excites me.
Here are the facts.
- a childhood friend is coming to stay with me for a week.
-we will be in my apartment alone
- we had a fling in our 20s and I was his first
-he is athletic and I am not, I am somewhat overweight but not obese. In short he is better looking
- we have stayed more or less in touch and have met briefly a few years ago
-he did not show any romantic inclinations during those meetings
- he is married
-I am not going to flirt with him (obviously)
- he was the one who asked if he could “crash on my couch”
- we are both in our late 40s

What does DCUM think? Is he going to try to sleep with me or no?

I think he’s going to persuade you to go out to dinner but then realize he forgot his wallet and ask you to pay for it.

100% will happen since he's too cheap to get a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re going to overhear a conversation he has about you and you’re going to be hurt by it.

Yep, op will drunkenly hit on the guy and then later hear him laughing about it on the phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be an adult. Set the boundaries you want to set. Communicate. If it gets flirty, decide what you want to do but accept it would be just sex with nothing else.

Unless he has other business in town, then yes he would likely enjoy being invited into your bed. If he is coming just into see you and hang out with you, he is hoping for Netflix and chill

He does have other business in town (not just coming to see me or the area).
I won’t say no if he makes the move, but I am not going to make the first move because he is so much better looking I feel self-conscious, plus I don’t want to hear the “but I’m married”.

You sound like you want to be his sloppy seconds.

Sloppy seconds to a guy who won't pay for a hotel in his late 40s.

Ew, op, have some self respect.